


Cigarettes and sass

by Hangmans_Radio



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:32:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 161,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hangmans_Radio/pseuds/Hangmans_Radio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like any man Gerard watches porn, but his obsession with popular gay pornstar Frank Iero has left him unable to commit to a relationship since he was a teenager. When he finally meets his idol he wishes he could seduce him, never imagining it could bring up past ghosts and fears that he tried so hard to erase.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on ficwad, and since it is completed there hopefully will not be large gaps between each chapter (unlike my other stories heh...). I do only have five months of university left so I'm at an important stage of my life, with plenty of work to be doing but I hope to get a new chapter up at least every week if not more.  
> If I slip behind on this please do feel free to hit me with a cyber stick until I update.  
> Otherwise, this is one of my favourite stories of mine, so I really hope you guys like it too.  
> xo

“Man I gotta say, you are looking especially _fine_ today.” Gerard looked up and blushed deeply, a small smile tugging at his lips as he came face to face with his colleague Brian Haner. “Is that shirt new?”

“No. And you know it isn’t.” Gerard pointed out quietly, going back to his drawing as Brian leant his elbows on his desk and grinned cheekily at him. Gerard tried to ignore him but it was difficult, and though he bit his tongue hard he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“Brian you’re in my light.”

“Sorry man.” Brian obediently moved out of the way so that his shadow wasn’t resting over Gerard’s storyboard and came to stand beside his chair instead. “This is looking really good.” He complimented, his hand coming down to touch Gerard’s shoulder and squeeze gently. 

“Thanks...”

“So...” Brian walked his fingers over Gerard’s shoulder before toying with the collar of his black shirt, stroking the tip of his finger along the expanse of Gerard’s skin that was on show. “What’s got you all suited and booted huh?”

“I’m going out with my grandmother after work.” Gerard replied softly, his tone somewhat distracted as he worked on his storyboard. “I haven’t seen her in a while so I’m treating her to dinner.”

“Cute.” Brian scoffed, sighing and turning to perch his butt on the edge of the desk. He gazed intently at Gerard as his artists hands sketched relentlessly over the page. He was such a hard worker, The Breakfast Monkey was the current project taking up all his time. Sometimes Brian wished he could be as motivated as Gerard... but mostly he just got irritated that the older man still wasn’t noticing him. 

“You had your lunch yet?” Brian sighed, already knowing the answer. 

“Yeah I took it early so I could work on this all through the afternoon.” 

Brian sighed and rolled his eyes, not surprised at all. Gerard always took his lunch early when he was working hard on something. Brian always tried to have lunch with him, but Gerard was somewhat of a recluse. Though he was pleasant enough, always friendly and polite, he just preferred his own company and often got awkward when he had to pay full attention to someone. Brian didn’t care though... The artist was gorgeous and everyone working for Cartoon Network wanted a piece of him, whether they were male, female, straight or otherwise. No one had managed to get Gerard’s attention yet, but Brian was determined. 

“What about a cigarette break? When you due one of them?” Brian swung his legs softly as he gazed intently at the older man, Gerard seeming to think about it for a moment before he shrugged.

“I don’t think I’ll have one today.”

“Are you kidding?” Brian scoffed, frowning slightly. “What? Are you quitting now or something?” Brian didn’t mean to sound whiny and childish but this was just ridiculous. All he wanted was fifteen minutes with Gerard’s undivided attention. He just needed the guy to _look_ at him and he knew he’d be able to get him hooked. Brian was gorgeous, he was playful, he was flirtatious... he had never failed to get who he wanted. And he wasn’t going to fail now... even though he had already wasted three whole weeks trying to get Gerard to notice him.

Brian had _never_ taken this long to get his man.

“I’m thinking about cutting down.” Gerard shrugged casually in response to the question about the cigarettes. He kept his head down, concentrating on his drawing though he was fully aware Brian was staring at him. It was making him feel a little uncomfortable though he tried not to show it. 

“Well... What about a coffee break then?” Brian persisted, determined to get Gerard out of his office and taking a break somehow. Gerard chuckled a little at the younger mans stubbornness and finally looked up to meet his gaze. Gerard’s eyes were gentle, his smile delicate as he laid down his pencil.

“I’m not thirsty. And you have plenty of work to do.” He pointed out softly, Brian smirking challengingly at him.

“How would you know?” He asked sweetly, leaning closer to Gerard but the older man didn’t seem to be affected by Brian’s attempts to look seductive.

“Because you always do. And if by some miracle you don’t, _I_ do. So...” Brian looked at Gerard in slight surprise before frowning deeply at him and folding his arms in a huff. 

“So you’re kicking me out?” He demanded, Gerard looking apologetically at him as he picked up his pencil again.

“I’m sorry Bri, it’s just that I’m really busy...”

“ _Fine_.” Brian sighed, swinging his legs round and hopping off the desk with a scowl. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.” He pouted, sauntering out of Gerard’s office, clearly miffed. Gerard winced when he slammed the door. He’d be sulking for the rest of the day no doubt but Gerard didn’t worry about it as he turned back to his storyboard and continued to work.

xXx

Gerard met his grandma outside their favourite Italian restaurant. Elena came to New York very rarely now, but when she had been younger she would often go to the city. She used to tell Gerard wonderful stories about it when he was a kid, and New York had always held a certain charm for him. It was part of the reason why he was so eager to work for Cartoon Network, the thought of spending every day in the city exciting him. Even now only part of the magic had been lost through the stresses of work.

Gerard approached the restaurant only a little bit late, but Elena was never late and so it was no surprise when he found her standing outside by the door, a light green shawl wrapped around her shoulders to match her summer dress. Gerard grinned as he spotted her, his heart skipping. He loved his grandmother dearly and he chuckled as she turned to scowl at him.

“What time do you call this young man?” Elena demanded as Gerard rushed over to hug her tight and kiss her powdered cheek. “I’ve been standing out here like an idiot for ten minutes.”

“I’m sorry grandma, you know you shouldn’t arrive so early.” Gerard smirked, standing back and letting Elena slap his arm lightly. 

“Gerard, the only women who believe in being ‘fashionably late’ are women who hold no class whatsoever.” Elena said firmly, flinging the end of her shawl over her shoulder and strutting into the doorway of the restaurant as Gerard held back his laughter. This was why he adored his grandma. She had been brought up in hard times and had happily spent her life in comfortable working class, but she acted as though she were the cream of the crop. 

“Table for two madam?” The waiter at the front of house smiled at Elena, recognising her from other times she had been along with Gerard and Elena positively beamed at him as she nodded. 

“Yes please my dear, oh what a handsome young man.” Elena commented as she grabbed Gerard’s arm and dragged him across the restaurant with her. Gerard smiled and hooked his arm through Elena’s, rolling his eyes fondly as the waiter took them to a corner table and took their drinks order. Once Elena had watched him walk away she turned to Gerard with a smile and took his hand.

“It is good to see you Gerard,” She smiled genuinely, squeezing her grandson’s hand. “I feel like I never see you anymore.”

“I know, I’m just so busy with work.” Gerard sighed, lacing his fingers with Elena’s and telling her briefly about The Breakfast Monkey as they picked up their menus and gave them the customary glance before settling on their usual favourites.

“I present my story boards to the committee next week, if they like it then I might get my own cartoon soon.” Gerard tried to hide the excitement in his voice, not wanting to get his hopes up too high but he couldn’t deny that having his own cartoon would be a dream come true. As children he and Mikey often talked about cartoons they wished they could make, or comic books they would draw if only they could. Now that Gerard was older his dream was finally in his grasp. 

“Gerard that’s wonderful news.” Elena smiled, pausing to give the waiter their order before turning back to grin at her grandson. “Do you feel confident about it?” She asked as she took a breadstick from the centre of the table, nibbling delicately on it. 

“Kinda... I guess. I’ve been working really hard on it, other than Brian trying to distract me all the time it’s going well.” Gerard smiled, taking a breadstick for himself and blushing when he realised Elena was smirking at him.

“Brian? Who’s Brian?” She asked, her voice filled with amusement and Gerard sighed, frowning a little even though he couldn’t hide his smile.

“He’s just a guy at work. He joined a few months ago, amazing artist... just... not very focused.” Gerard bit the end off of his breadstick as he shrugged, Elena still smirking at him. “What?”

“Why’s he been trying to distract you?” Elena asked smoothly, her own breadstick forgotten. “Does he like you? Is he cute?”

“Grandma.” Gerard groaned, blushing deeply and giggling softly. “He’s my work mate, I’m not interested in him.”

“Oh I bet. But is he interested in _you?_ ” Elena knew that Gerard seemed to be incapable of finding a boyfriend, but she also knew it wasn’t because he didn’t get shown any interest. Gerard was such a handsome young thing; Elena couldn’t understand why he couldn’t find himself a partner. So many men liked him, even on the few occasions they went out together Elena would always see plenty of guys giving Gerard the eye. 

“Well?” She pushed, Gerard’s cheeks flaming red as he shrugged. 

“I... I dunno. Maybe... Probably. I think so.” Gerard sighed and groaned a little as he put down his half eaten breadstick and started to break it up with his nimble fingers. He knew that Brian was interested, but he knew he was probably only after him for sex. He couldn’t imagine Brian was the deep, romantic type. “I think he’s only looking for fun though grandma.”

“Well that’s alright.” Elena shrugged, putting down her own breadstick and smacking Gerard’s hands lightly as he snapped his own. “Don’t make a mess on the table.” She scolded, handing Gerard a napkin so he would clear up the crumbs he was making. “You don’t have to get into anything serious you know Gerard. If you like this Brian then maybe a bit of fun will be good for you just for now... Lord knows when I was your age I had plenty of fun.” 

Gerard looked up with a horrified expression as Elena winked at him. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or ‘eugh’ in disgust, he soon settled on a mixture of the two and shoved Elena lightly. 

“Grandma! I thought you were classy.” He squeaked, laughing a little as Elena giggled. 

“Even I was young once Gerard.” Elena smirked, grinning as she picked up her breadstick and started eating it again. “You should ask Brian out or something, go out for drinks and see what happens. I do worry about you being cooped up all by yourself in that apartment of yours.” Elena sighed, making Gerard blush and bow his head. 

“I don’t get lonely grandma.” He promised softly, though that wasn’t strictly true. “Anyway, I’m not interested in Brian.” He added, shrugging casually. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Brian, or find him attractive, he just... he just wasn’t interested. 

“Why not?” Elena asked, sighing and rolling her eyes. She was used to Gerard insisting he wasn’t interested whenever there was a potential boy on the horizon, but she had never managed to get a reason out of him. “Is he not your type?”

“Not really.” Gerard responded quickly, it not exactly a lie. Brian wasn’t his type... no one was. No one except... one person... 

“Well, who is your type then?” Elena asked innocently, finishing her breadstick just in time for their food to arrive. She smiled sweetly at the waiter as he put down their plates and smirked as he gazed intently at Gerard before walking away again. “What about him? He’s handsome.” Elena giggled. 

Gerard rolled his eyes fondly and picked up his cutlery, giving a polite glance in the waiters direction before shrugging and spearing some pasta onto his fork. The waiter was handsome. Young and blonde with sweet blue eyes, but he wasn’t Gerard’s type either. 

“I don’t think so grandma.” He chuckled, eating the pasta and sighing in delight at the taste. He loved this place, and deep down he wished he could bring a boy here for a change and not just his grandma. But Gerard could only imagine sharing this with one man... and that man was entirely out of Gerard’s league. 

“I worry about you sometimes.” Elena scoffed, her eyes still fixed on the blonde waiter. “I tell you if I was fifty years younger I’d snap him up in a second.” She said casually before tasting her own food. It was delicious, as always, but she was preoccupied with looking at Gerard with a steely stare. 

“Come on, who’s your type?” She demanded, Gerard sighing and taking a sip of his Pepsi. He shrugged off Elena’s question, not sure how to answer it. 

“I dunno... Punky I guess.” He offered quietly, Elena frowning.

“Punky?”

“Yeah. You know... tattooed and pierced and stuff. But not intimidating, like kinda cute with it. Someone short, with nice eyes, and a playful smile. Someone... tanned. Maybe half Italian, with dyed black hair, but shaved at the sides. And energetic. Fun, ya know? Someone spontaneous maybe. Someone slim but a little bit toned, not too toned, just enough to see some muscle definition. But with a soft butt. Someone like that.” 

Elena stared at Gerard for a long moment, her eyebrows raised. She took a while to take in everything Gerard had said, but once she had she burst out laughing, making Gerard blush deeply. 

“Wow...” Elena laughed, putting down her fork so that she could lay her hand over her chest and take a deep breath, still giggling as she picked up her drink and took a sip. “That’s very specific Gerard.” She pointed out with a smirk once she had got over the worst of her laughing fit. “Who is it?”

“Who’s who?” Gerard asked innocently, hoping the dim lighting of the restaurant would hide his blushing cheeks. 

“Who’s the boy you just described.” Elena smirked, gazing curiously at her grandson as she ate another mouthful of food. She waited for Gerard to answer, but the young man was too busy staring into his food as if he could see something interesting hidden inside the pasta. 

“ _Gerard?_ ” Elena smirked, jabbing Gerard with her fork to make him look at her. “Tell me!” She laughed, starting to feel excited. Could Gerard actually be on the brink of getting himself a boyfriend?

“I wasn’t describing anyone.” Gerard squeaked, quickly shoving more pasta into his mouth in the hope it would make Elena drop the conversation but his grandma was stubborn.

“Oh sure, like I believe that.” Elena scoffed, kicking Gerard lightly under the table. “Come on, why won’t you tell me? I only want to know his name.” She said sulkily, Gerard shaking his head quickly, his cheeks puffed out with the amount of food he had shovelled into his mouth. Elena frowned at him, shaking her head in a disappointed fashion and Gerard struggled to chew the amount of food in his mouth, swallowing it down with some difficulty. 

“Now really Gerard –”

“Grandma I wasn’t describing anybody. Can’t we just drop it? You always pick on me for being single.” Gerard whined, taking a sip of his own drink and waiting a moment for the wad of food to go down before continuing to eat his meal. Elena smirked at him and sighed, her eyes falling sad.

“I’m not _picking_ on you Gerard, I’m just worried about you... You’re twenty six years old already and I can’t remember the last time you had a real boyfriend.” She mewled, Gerard’s cheeks flaming a deep red colour as he tried to remember himself. He was pretty sure he hadn’t been in a proper relationship since he was eighteen years old... he’d had a few flings... every man gets needs after all and he’d had his fair share of one night stands or even one week stands but... not a boyfriend. 

“Have you thought about maybe looking for a girlfriend instead?” Elena asked casually, shrugging her shoulders as if it was no big deal but Gerard almost choked on his food. 

“What!? A girlfriend? No! No, no, no. No Grandma I... Jesus, I don’t want a _girlfriend_.” He gasped, Elena laughing softly and reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. “Why would you even _ask?_ ”

“Well I just want to make sure you’re not... Well, it’s been so long since you’ve had a boyfriend, I just wanted to make sure that...” Elena sighed, not wanting to insult Gerard but it seemed to her that no matter how handsome or lovely a boy seemed he was never his type and it had got her thinking... 

“I just want you to know that if you’ve changed your mind or... if you think you prefer girls now, or even if you’re bisexual, you don’t have to feel embarrassed about it. You know if you told me I wouldn’t judge you for it.” Elena knew she was treading a thin line, but recently she had just been thinking so much about her grandson’s supposed never ending single status and had wondered to herself whether he was actually straight, and that the thought of trying to tell his family that just made him too embarrassed. After all, he had never exactly come out... He had just always been so sassy that the whole family just assumed he was gay, and that when he got his first boyfriend none of them had even been surprised. 

Gerard was gay. That had always been just a fact, just a part of him. But what if he wasn’t gay? What if he was actually straight and was spending all this time just trying to live to his family’s expectations when he really wanted a girlfriend?

Gerard stared at Elena as if she was crazy. For a moment he was a little insulted, unable to believe she was suggesting that he didn’t even know his own mind enough to know whether he was gay or not. And then he started to wonder if Elena just _wanted_ him to be straight and was trying to coax him away from his true sexuality... but Gerard knew his grandmother and he knew she wasn’t like that. He supposed anyone would start to wonder if their grandson had been single as long as Gerard had. 

“Grandma... I am not straight _or_ bi. I’m _gay_ and pretty damn happy with that.” Gerard chuckled, shaking his head fondly. “Really, you need to stop worrying about me. When I find the right person I’ll know, but until then I... well, I’m happy as I am.” He smiled, Elena relaxing and smiling warmly as she reached across the table to squeeze Gerard’s hand.

“Alright.” She sighed, kissing Gerard’s palm. “As long as you’re sure...”

xXx

Gerard sighed and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt as he threw his keys onto the coffee table and shuffled into the kitchen.

Gerard’s apartment was small, but cosy. It didn’t have much furniture or clutter, but he liked it that way. It had a lot of artwork on the walls, both his own and other artists, including an original sketch by Alan Moore, hand signed to Gerard himself. It was Gerard’s most prized possession and hung on the wall opposite the couch where everyone could see it. 

Gerard gazed at it now as he carefully worked at undoing his black shirt. The coffee machine was on and humming warmly, filling up the silence as Gerard smiled at the sketch. Sometimes he felt lonely in the apartment, wishing he had someone to share it with. But other times Gerard would gaze at all his drawings and his minimalist furniture and figure that maybe being alone was the better option. After all, he could do whatever he wanted in his home and no one could complain about it. 

Gerard sighed and slipped off his shirt as he walked back into the kitchen, tossing the shirt into the washing machine before grabbing a spoon and the sugar bowl. Once Gerard had sprinkled in exactly one and a half spoons of sugar into his coffee he held his cup beneath the cold tap and poured a small amount of water into the mug to cool down the coffee somewhat before he sauntered back through the flat to his bedroom. 

It was getting into late evening by now and Gerard was feeling tired from his early start at work. He had got the train back into Jersey with Elena before the two got a taxi together. Elena had been dropped off first, thankfully not bringing up the boyfriend issue again despite the attractive taxi driver, and Gerard had got to his flat at last after what felt like forever. He had enjoyed his evening, but he was glad it was over now. 

Gerard sank down at his computer desk with a yawn, undoing his belt buckle and slipping out of his jeans with a sigh of relief. Once he had typed in his password and his computer was loading up his boxers soon followed, joining his jeans on the floor as he stretched out and groaned in delight. 

Another advantage of living alone... Gerard could be naked whenever he liked, and after long, tiring days there was nothing better than to get out of his clothes and feel the cool air on his bare skin.

Gerard sipped at his coffee as he waited for his computer to wake up, signing into his emails automatically. He was trying to hitch a deal with a publishing house for his comic, he didn’t care who published it... just as long as someone did. So every day Gerard checked his emails, eagerly hoping for a positive response but so far he hadn’t had much luck.

Today was no different. Gerard pouted in disappointed as his inbox came up with just the usual junk mail and an already opened message from Mikey he should have replied to days ago. Gerard made a mental note to do it in the morning before he clicked off his emails and opened up the internet. 

It was a Friday night, and as such Gerard couldn’t go to sleep without doing something first. It was almost tradition now that every Friday he celebrated the start to the weekend with his favourite activity, and despite how tired he was he wasn’t about to let the night end just yet.

Gerard got up to turn out the main light and flick his bedside lamp on instead, pulling his headphones out of his iPod before returning to the computer. He slid back into the plush, leather seat and laid his feet on top of the printer beneath the desk. Once he was comfortable he plugged in his headphones and pushed the white buds into his ears before he typed the address of the usual site into the address bar.

Gerard’s teeth came down to clamp over his lower lip as the site loaded and large images of naked men covered the screen amidst links to different areas of the site. For just sixty dollars a year Gerard had full access to one of the most popular gay porn sites on the web. Photos, videos and gay prose were all here, thousands of each, ready and waiting for him to enjoy. 

Gerard had browsed many porn sites, what man hadn’t? But this was his favourite since it had the biggest archive of videos from Gerard’s favourite porn star. Not to mention the first site to get said porn stars new releases _and_ every now and then it even had blogs written by him and interviews of him. Gerard loved it, he just couldn’t get enough. 

Frank Iero... God, just the site of the man’s name made Gerard’s skin tingle. 

Gerard had watched plenty of other porn stars; he’d liked some of them too. Sometimes he spent hours looking at videos from all sorts of different people, but in the end he always came back to Frank. Perfect... Beautiful... Frank. Gerard had even got to the stage now where he honestly considered the fact he might be in love with the man. This porn star he didn’t even know. He was a total fan boy through and through and he couldn’t help it.

Gerard wasted no time in typing Frank’s name into the sites search bar and bringing up their different videos of him. He was too tired to go browsing for any other videos, and that night he wanted to watch no one but Frank. He was disappointed to find no new videos of him had been added yet so he scrolled down the screen until he found one of his old favourites and settled back to enjoy.

Tonight’s chosen temptation was a video Gerard had already seen many times, but never grew tired of. Sometimes he felt so attached to the young stranger on the screen that he just couldn’t enjoy the sight of other men fucking him and so instead chose to watch Frank go solo. Tonight was one of those nights and Gerard bit his lip softly as he full screened the video and turned the volume up on his headphones.

The video began with Frank lying on his front, naked on a bed. He had his head propped up on his hands and his legs in the air, crossed at the ankles. He was having a little pre-show interview with the man holding the camera and already his eyes were sparkling and his grin was wide. Frank’s grin was one of the things Gerard especially loved about the young man and he sighed adoringly.

“So, what’s your name?” The man off screen asked, Frank giggling softly and swinging his legs.

“Frankie.”

“And what are you gonna be doing for us today Frankie?”

“I’m gonna be playing with my cock.” Frank responded innocently, his eyes twinkling as he gazed at a spot just beyond the camera, his grin still fixed in place. Gerard loved how Frank never seemed to be faking his laughter or his smiles; it always seemed as though Frank was genuinely enjoying himself and already Gerard was feeling excited. He could recite the whole interview off by heart by now, so he skipped ahead a few minutes to save time. 

Four minutes into the video Frank was now on his back, lounging up on one elbow while his free hand pawed at his cock through the tight white briefs he was wearing. He was no longer looking towards the camera, instead just smiling dreamily to himself as he tipped his head back and cupped his fingers around his stiffening length. Gerard’s own penis started to liven up at the sight of the white fabric tightening around Frank’s erection, the outline of his perfect cock making Gerard’s mouth water.

Gerard would do anything to get to touch that perfect piece of meat, Frank widening his legs to massage his erection for the camera.

Gerard slowly slid his own hand down to grasp his soft penis, rubbing his thumb in a circular motion on the underside of the shaft as he felt the blood gushing through it. Frank had now released his own erection and was slowly, seductively, working down his briefs. 

Gerard’s eyes widened as he watched with deep concentration, staring as inch by inch, Frank nudged the waistline down, getting it about halfway down his shaft before his erection sprang free and Gerard’s cock twitched. 

“Mm...” Frank’s soft hum of pleasure sounded loud through the headphones and Gerard’s hand gripped around his hardening cock in response. He bit down hard on his lip and stared intently at the screen, still just rubbing his thumb in a circular motion as he waited for Frank to take hold of his own throbbing penis.

Frank lay back on a mound of pillows and splayed his legs wide, the hand on his erection starting to slide up and down with a loose grip. Gerard licked his lips slowly and mirrored Frank’s actions with his own hand, bolts of pleasure shooting through his groin.

“Fuck...” Gerard whispered as he swiped his thumb across the head of his cock, digging against the slit and feeling the first stirrings in his balls. He knew he wouldn’t last long; he never did when he watched videos of Frank’s but it didn’t matter. Sometimes he tried to drag it out and savour it more, but tonight he was just eager to get off, already unable to resist speeding up his hand and rubbing faster against his erection.

Gerard’s free hand came up to take control of the computer mouse and skip the video along. He knew it so well by now it only took him one click to get to the exact place he wanted to be, the image changing to Frank arching his back and thrusting his hips slowly at the same time as he pumped his hand. His jerking was now faster, needier, as his other hand played with his shaven balls.

Gerard felt his breathing get heavier as he settled back in his chair and lost himself to the soft panting and moaning that was filtering through his headphones into his ears. Gerard couldn’t stop a moan escaping his own throat as his hips bucked up involuntarily, pleasure tugging at his groan and tingling through his balls. His nipples had hardened and he moved his free hand to slowly brush a fingertip against one as he stared at Frank.

As he masturbated Gerard took in every tiny detail of the stranger on the screen. Gerard knew Frank’s body perfectly from all the photos and videos he had watched, he already knew every tattoo, every scar, every freckle. He could draw perfect pictures of Frank without reference but he still wanted more. He saw everything but he wanted _more_.

Frank had, in Gerard’s opinion, a perfect body. His tattoos moved with every breath he took, his muscles tensed and relaxed with each wave of pleasure. Beads of sweat rolled down from his temples and dripped from his jaw. His nails were bitten down but his hands looked soft. He had the perfect amount of muscle definition but a soft looking tummy and thighs that were far from skinny but deliciously firm. Due to his shortness Frank was slim rather than thin, a body shape rarely found in gay pornography. Most videos were either of twinks – skinny sometimes to the point of bony, all hard angles and spidery fingers; or bears – heavily muscled, hairy men, far too large and far too intimidating for someone as socially awkward as Gerard.

But Frank... oh Frank... He was short and he was slim, he was just the right amount of firm muscle and soft, cushiony flesh. He had a tapestry of artwork splayed across olive skin; he had the perfect smile and the perfect eyes. Gerard ached to see him in person... to actually hear him speak to him and not just moaning through headphones. The amount of times Gerard had dreamt of being touched by the man on screen was just ridiculous, and yet that hollow ache... that desperate _need_ never went away.

“O – Oh...” Gerard groaned and squeezed his eyes shut for a second, pre cum starting to leak from his tip to get smeared down his length by his fingers. He was growing sticky and needy and he could feel pleasure bubbling and tugging at his groin, all the way through his stomach and down to his tightening balls. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on and so he moved his hand away from his nipple back to the computer mouse, hurrying to skip the video along to the end at the point he knew Frank was just moments away from cumming. 

“Oh... Oooh... Yeah, that feels so good...” Frank’s voice growled through the headphones, one hand pumping rapidly up and down his throbbing erection and the other rolling his balls in his palm. He groaned obscenities as his cock visibly twitched and the head pulsed. Gerard felt his own dick swell impossibly against his palm, his orgasm starting to bubble up through his testicles and just as Frank came onscreen Gerard too spilt his release over his fingers.

“A – Agh!” Gerard struggled not to throw his head back and keep his eyes on the screen, his legs and hips shaking as he came hard, watching Frank cum as his own seed spilt over his hand in thick ropes. Gerard watched intently right until the last moment when Frank flopped down against the mattress and panted softly. 

Gerard slowly released his own softening penis and took a moment to regain his breath. On screen Frank was smirking at the camera as he slowly lifted his hand and licked his own cum away but Gerard was nowhere near as erotic as he stumbled from his chair and into his ensuite bathroom to wash his hands. When he returned to the computer he clicked straight off the still playing video and turned the desktop off, aching now only for his bed.

Gerard sighed as he lifted up the covers and slide into the double he rarely shared. It felt cold and unforgiving as he laid his naked body against the sheets and grabbed one of the pillows to hold. He stared at the empty space beside him and tried picture Frank lying there, gazing back at him. It was a wonderful thought but painful... Gerard knew it could only ever be a fantasy. How could he ever get a guy like Frank?


	2. Chapter two

Gerard sat up in bed, watching TV and eating a bowl of Lucky Charms as he waited for his computer to warm up. Since it was Saturday he had slept in until late morning, and was feeling refreshed because of it. He loved the weekend purely because it gave him the chance to sleep for as long as he wanted. He never went out or did anything interesting, but it still beat stressing out at work.

Unsurprisingly there was nothing worth watching on the TV, so Gerard flicked it to a music channel and just let it provide background noise that mingled with the crunching of his Lucky Charms. He considered having a second bowl when he finished... it was the weekend after all, and Lucky Charms were his favourite...

“Hell. Why not?” Gerard sighed to himself, feeling awfully aware of how downhearted he sounded. He ignored it though as he got up and raised his bowl to his lips, gulping down the milk and few charms still floating around as he walked slowly to the kitchen. 

The sounds of Katy Perry singing followed him into the kitchen and he sighed to himself. He wasn’t a huge fan of chart music at the moment, particularly Katy Perry. Some of her stuff Gerard had found himself dancing to on a few drunken occasions... But he was more of a Gaga man himself. Though he supposed considering the band tee’s he wore and the music on his iPod he shouldn’t really be listening to mainstream music channels anyway.

Gerard considered this as he poured his second helping of Lucky Charms into his bowl. He supposed it was the gay in him that felt the need to keep up to date with chart music. It was the homosexual curse... the camp cross he was forcing himself to bear. How could he dance to music in a gay bar if he didn’t know the songs? How could he feel that ridiculous cliché sense of happiness and acceptance when he sang along to ‘Born This Way’ if he didn’t know it existed? 

Gerard pushed a spoonful of cereal into his mouth as he wandered back into his room, Katy Perry coming into view on the screen brandishing cream cakes in conveniently placed areas. He supposed he ought to love her really, she was pretty camp. And Gerard loved camp. He did like some of her stuff, hell he sometimes even liked the majority of mainstreams ‘top ten’. Every now and then a good song would appear in the candy wrapper corporate bullshit that usually tainted the scene. 

Sometimes a real diamond appeared in that nest of costume jewellery.

Gerard ‘hmm’d to himself and considered drawing something based on his thoughts. He knew he was in for a bad weekend if he was already thinking so deeply about things that really didn’t matter and it wasn’t even 10am yet; he’d need something to fill the time.

Gerard sighed and looked down into his bowl of cereal. Was this really what he was becoming? A rapidly aging cartoonist who’s biggest treat was pornography and two bowls of child’s cereal on a Saturday morning? The kind of person who munched on their Lucky Charms whilst pondering the not-exactly-a-mystery of pop music with religious and drag queen esque metaphors? 

Jesus. He needed a boyfriend.

Gerard sighed and pouted miserably at his Lucky Charms, his mouth still full of said cereal. He shouldn’t have gone for the second bowl, God only knew as he got older he was going to start putting weight on. It was something all men had to accept. You hit thirty and suddenly everything starts swelling, at least now he was straight edge he wouldn’t get a beer belly. But whilst he was still hideously single and with no clear hope of that changing any time soon he was going to need to try and keep in shape. 

Gerard looked at his cereal and considered just leaving the half bowl he had left... he soon decided they just tasted too good though and carried on eating. He could die fat and alone instead, that was also fine with him. 

Second bowl finished and dumped in the kitchen sink, Gerard put the box of cereal away and made his way to his computer desk. He wasn’t really in the mood to masturbate again, but there was never a time he wasn’t willing to look at Frank Iero. He figured just browsing a few pictures wouldn’t hurt; maybe he could get a couple more saved into his documents to be used as desktop backgrounds. 

“Ugh... This is your life Gerard...” The twenty six year old sighed to himself. “You’re actually going to die alone...” Gerard decided talking to himself didn’t make himself feel any better and he promptly shut up as he clicked onto the internet and went to the usual site.

At first Gerard just moved his cursor to the link that led to the archives of photo’s but then something caught his eye.

There was always a banner across the top of the screen, advertising something or other. Usually it promoted other porn sites, or every now and then Viagra pills or penis enlargement. A few gay chat rooms had been advertised there too though usually they popped up across the bottom of the screen. Gerard was pretty good at ignoring all of them now, but today the banner made his eyes grow wide.

_Frank Iero to appear at this year’s AVN Adult Entertainment Expo!_

Gerard stared at the bold, red writing above a picture of Frank, half naked and draped on his side with that adorable smile of his. Gerard had never heard of AVN expo, though common sense told him it was obviously some sort of porn convention. Gerard didn’t even know those kinds of things existed.

Gerard spent a moment trying to figure out what the A, V and N could stand for before it dawned on him that if he clicked on the banner more information would be provided.

For the first time in all the time he had been using this site Gerard actually clicked the banner and allowed himself to get redirected to a different website. There was nothing dramatic or overly interesting in the transition, but for some reason Gerard’s heart began to race.

The page that loaded had a white background and large, silver writing that read ‘AVN Adult Entertainment Expo. Celebrating 15 years at the Hard Rock hotel, Las Vegas.’ Beneath this dates of the event were included along with two links ‘business’ and ‘personal’. The entire right half of the screen was filled with the image of three, scantily clad women with obviously fake breasts, silicone filled lips and an extensive amount of makeup.

Gerard wrinkled his nose up at the image and averted his eyes, the half naked girls with their over exaggerated pouts doing nothing for him. It was bizarre what some men found attractive.

Gerard hovered his cursor over the two links at the bottom of the page, unsure whether to click. He figured he was in the ‘personal’ category since he definitely had no real business with porn, other than watching it. He supposed it took you to another site where more details on the day’s events and such would be given and then the opportunity to buy tickets... Gerard was sort of tempted, but then again, the naked ladies had put him off.

Hesitating for a few minutes Gerard weighed up his options. Did he really want to entertain the idea of actually attending a pornography convention? That, surely, was taking his whole obsession just too far. He’d have to go alone of course and he was already socially awkward without having to be alone in a room of strangers, most of whom would, no doubt, be there for the women. He could already imagine how awkward and out of place he would feel... But... But Frank would be there.

Gerard bit his lip hard and felt his stomach give a strange swirl. Frank... Frank Iero... The physical entity of utter perfection. For just a small fee Gerard could actually see him, right there... Live.

The tingle of excitement at such a notion made Gerard smile uncertainly to himself. Could it really be worth it? Gerard hovered his cursor over the ‘personal’ link, taking a deep breath. It wouldn’t hurt just to click on it and get some more information, Gerard reasoned; just getting the programme for the expo and looking at ticket prices didn’t mean he had to commit to actually going.

Spurred on by this Gerard clicked on the link and waited to be redirected to another page. But to his surprise the link activated his email account instead and opened up a new mailbox with a recipient address already inserted. The message would be sent to the expo ticket box. 

Gerard blinked stupidly and felt his heart miss a beat. This wasn’t what he had been expecting and now he didn’t quite know what to do. Did he send an email or not? What should he write if he did? Was he planning to go to this expo or not?

Gerard checked the dates of the event again and bit his lip. It started in just one week. He’d have to miss at least Friday at work if he drove there, unless he took a plane. It would make it tight getting back for Monday at work too, especially if he ended up having to stay over the Saturday night. He supposed it was doable, if he really wanted to go... but what if Frank wasn’t even there? The image of the naked girls hadn’t exactly been inspiring.

Gerard sat for a long while, thinking to himself. He wasn’t a very spontaneous person and usually he wouldn’t think twice before deciding this was stupid and that he wasn’t going. But the temptation of seeing Frank was just too much. In the end he found his fingers dancing across the keyboard before he had really made the decision to write anything and he bit his lip as his email practically composed itself.

_In regards to the upcoming AVN expo,_  
Can you please confirm Frank Iero will be attending and if so on what days, at what times and what he will be doing exactly?  
Also, how much are ticket prices? 

Gerard wondered whether he should end it with his name or anything. He wasn’t sure whether it sounded too formal, whether he should put a greeting at the beginning. What if he was just sending this to an automated service and he wouldn’t get any answers? Feeling dejected already Gerard sent the email just as it was and pushed his chair away from his desk. He felt anxious for a reply but tried not to think about it, deciding to just shower and dress instead, he had plenty of work he could be doing, the last thing he should do is worry about an adult entertainment convention.

xXx

Gerard managed to forget about the email until that evening, after spending the day drawing, gaming and catching up on some reality TV shows he finally found himself back at his computer. He had ordered in some Chinese to eat alone and was planning on replying to his email from Mikey whilst he waited for the food to arrive. Mikey was probably going to already kick his ass for not replying for over a week, Gerard knew he shouldn’t put it off any longer.

Logging into his email account Gerard expected to find just his already opened message from Mikey, but not only was that there, there was also one unread message staring back at him. It was a reply from the expo organisers. Gerard felt his heart lurch and his pulse quicken as he stared at it, he wasn’t sure why he was feeling so anxious all of a sudden but even his palms began to sweat and he had to wipe them on his jeans before he clicked open the email.

The message awaiting him was short and sweet, nothing awe inspiring but Gerard’s lips still parted.

_Frank Iero will be attending this year’s convention at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas during the Saturday events. He will be interviewed at the expo’s ‘Stars Exposed!’ stage at 12.00 pm. He will then be available to meet and greet at the ‘Rainbow Stand’ from 2pm onward where he will take photographs with fans and sign merchandise._

_Expo doors open at 9.00 am Saturday morning. Tickets must be bought before hand and are $50 standard ticket, or you can purchase the $80 early bird ticket which gains you entry to the event at 8.00 am on the Saturday providing the opportunity to do business with stall vendors._

_If you plan on attending this event please reply to this email ASAP with requested ticket information._

_Kind regards,  
The AVN Expo team._

Gerard’s heart rate gradually increased as he read the email over once, twice, _three_ times before he decided he hadn’t misread anything and slumped back into his chair with a dazed look. His head was spinning as he thought about what all this meant.

Frank Iero was going to be at this expo, and not only that he would be meeting and greeting fans. Gerard actually had the chance to see his beloved _in person_. He could get right up close and personal, even have a photo with him. He would be allowed a few short, blissful seconds where he would hear his voice talk to him, inhale the scent of his cologne, maybe even feel his soft skin... Gerard felt ready to faint just at the thought.

He knew then that he had no choice. He had to go to this expo, no matter what it took. Not even if he had to miss a whole week at work, he simply had to go. If he missed this chance he would never forgive himself, so Gerard wasted no time in sending an email back that said nothing but just four, simple words:

_One standard ticket please._

xXx

“Hey! Gerard, hey!” 

Gerard looked up and blushed when he saw Brian rapidly striding towards him. The younger man was grinning from ear to ear, almost tripping over several chairs in his haste to reach him.

“Man, I can’t believe I actually managed to catch you having lunch! I thought you would have gone early again.” Brian laughed gleefully as he sat down opposite Gerard at the small table for two Gerard had sat at, right beside a floor to ceiling window that looked down on the New York city streets.

Gerard sighed and tried to look happy that Brian had finally managed to catch him, forcing a smile as he stirred another sachet into his coffee as Brian ripped open the packaging on his sandwich.

“Hi Brian...” 

“I thought your storyboard meeting thingy was this afternoon.” Brian smiled, popping the lid on his own cardboard coffee cup and starting to stir in some sugar. Gerard watched him with little interest, his stomach swirling nervously at the reminder.

“Yeah it is. I thought I’d take lunch at the normal time to give myself a break to psyche myself up.” He responded softly, turning to look out the window as he tried to push down his nerves. He would be taking his Breakfast Monkey storyboards and profiles up to the big guys at the top in just one short hour, where he would have to try and sell his ideas and snare himself a cartoon deal. He was as prepared as he could ever be, but he was still terrified. 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Brian smiled kindly, his words genuine. “You’ve spent so much time on this, and the idea is so good. Fun and educational, ya know? Their two favourite things.” He smirked, referring to the committee who always tried to give off an angelic impression, acting as if they only had children’s best interests at heart and not just money. 

Gerard smirked back and nodded, taking a sip of his coffee before he unwrapped his own sandwich and began to tear of the crusts. Brian watched him curiously, smiling in a fond sort of way when Gerard laid down the sandwich and started to eat the crusts on their own.

“Why do you do that?” Brian chuckled, meeting Gerard’s gaze and feeling the usual fizzing in his belly. Gerard was so gorgeous, Brian wanted him and he wanted him bad. He knew it was mostly a lust thing, but the more Gerard evaded him the more it was starting to tip over into affection. Brian might even come back for more if he actually managed to get a lay with the guy.

Gerard looked up and met Brian’s gaze, his cheeks dusting a light pink as he shrugged and took another bite out of the soft crusts he had torn from the rest of his bread. 

“I ‘unno... saves the best ‘til last.” He mumbled around the lump of bread in his mouth, shrugging hopelessly. Brian chuckled softly and shook his head, taking a large bite out of his own sandwich before gazing around the rest of the cafeteria. It was pretty busy, most people taking their breaks around now, but no one paid much attention to him or Gerard. 

Brian gazed around to confirm they really were being ignored and sighed. He remembered when he had first started working for Cartoon Network anytime he saw Gerard there was always someone hanging around, gazing lustily at him. Whenever he was in the cafeteria he’d be given smouldering eyes from pretty much anyone, but as time went on people gave up and others took their place. 

Now Brian thought about it he guessed no one new had arrived in the company and so anyone who had tried to get Gerard had eventually given up when the handsome man had refused to return their interest. Now a days it was only Brian who was still stubbornly chasing after the mysterious cartoonist, refusing to give up until he got what he wanted.

“So, Gerard...” Brian finally turned his attention back to Gerard who had finished eating the crusts of bread and was now taking a bite out of the actual sandwich. “I’ve been trying to catch you at a time where I could talk to you properly, I wanted to ask you something.” Brian flashed Gerard a wide toothed grin, Gerard raising his eyebrows at him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” Brian gazed at Gerard for a long second, letting Gerard get slowly more confused before he finally spoke. “I wanted to ask you what you’re doing this weekend.”

Gerard stared at Brian with wide eyes for a moment, slowly chewing and swallowing his bite of sandwich. Gerard may have been socially awkward but even he knew where this line of questioning usually led and he felt a surge of relief that he had a genuine excuse. 

“I’m actually out of town this weekend.” He smiled, trying not to let his relief show through and not elaborating further. Brian’s look of disappointment was clear, his lips pulling into a small pout.

“Oh.” He sighed, fidgeting in his seat. “Where are you going?” He asked softly, Gerard trying to appear casual as he answered. “Las Vegas!?” Brian repeated, his eyebrows raising. “Why are you going there?” He demanded, looking incredulous.

Gerard shrugged and tried to think of a reason that wasn’t the truth. If Brian put in just the smallest amount of research he would find that the expo was on this weekend and Gerard suffered from just enough paranoia to assume Brian might go digging.

“Erm... A bachelor party. One of my friends is getting married.” He responded casually, shrugging it off and feeling another kick of relief when Brian’s pout intensified, apparently believing the excuse but not feeling happy about it.

“Oh man, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to go out for drinks or something.” He sighed, Gerard shaking his head. 

“I don’t drink anyway so...”

“Well, what about dinner?” Brian shrugged, his disappointed face disappearing to be replaced with a hopeful one. “I guess there’s always next weekend though right?” He beamed, Gerard blushing and trying to think of another excuse but he came up blank when faced with Brian’s sparkling eyes. 

“Well I... I err guess so...”

“Great!” Brian beamed, Gerard sighing and finding he just didn’t have the heart to refuse the offer when Brian looked so thrilled. “You’ll know what the committee thought of your proposal by then too, so we can go out to celebrate your success.” He chuckled, Gerard smiling a little at his optimism.

“Unless they don’t like it.” He pointed out, picking his sandwich apart with his fingers, Brian shrugging. 

“I doubt that’d be the case, but if so then we’ll go out and have fun to cheer you up.” He winked, Gerard shaking his head fondly and moving to his coffee, no longer feeling hungry. 

Brian was a gorgeous guy, and a lot of fun. Gerard liked him in a way, he actually felt like they could become real close friends if it wasn’t so obvious that Brian had an alternative agenda. Gerard knew the younger man was trying to get into his pants and though it was flattering it wasn’t at all tempting. It probably would have been if he didn’t have such an unhealthy obsession with a porn star, but then maybe this weekend could change that. People always warn you not to meet your idols anyway and though Gerard prayed Frank would be as perfect as he had always imagined he supposed it’d probably be a blessing in disguise if he turned out to be an asshole...

“So it’s a date?”

“What?”

“Next weekend.” Brian smiled, brushing breadcrumbs off his hands before picking up his own coffee. “I’m thinking we could go out Saturday night, make a real evening of it and everything.” He suggested. It would also mean he wouldn’t have to worry about hurrying to get ready after work like they would have to if they picked Friday, and Brian knew this date would be his one chance to impress so he needed lots of time to get dressed. 

“Oh err...” Gerard sighed, considering it for a moment before he smiled softly and nodded. “Alright. Sure.” He agreed. It wouldn’t hurt to go out with Brian just once, hopefully it would sate the younger man and Gerard could stop thinking about him.

“Great! Any particular restaurants you like?” Brian grinned, Gerard shrugging as he glanced at his watch. He only really knew the Italian he and Elena went to, but he didn’t want to go there with Brian. He wanted to take a boy there one day, but a special boy... not a guy he was going on a pity date with. 

“Not really, just surprise me.” He smiled, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he rose to his feet. “Anyway, I better get going and get my stuff for this meeting. I’ll see you on Monday.” 

“Oh, cool. Sure. Good luck man.” Brian beamed, getting to his feet as if to hug Gerard but the older man was already striding away, making Brian sigh. 

“What is wrong with that guy?” Brian mused quietly to himself, sinking down into his chair again. Gerard was definitely one tough nut to crack. Brian knew he wasn’t particularly interested in him but he was determined not to give up. From what he had seen Gerard wasn’t really interested in anyone, but Brian was confident if anyone could break Gerard from being so prude then it was himself.

xXx

Gerard left work immediately after finishing his meeting with the committee. He felt it had gone well, but mostly he was just relieved it was over. He wanted to push it out of mind and forget it for the weekend, and it proved an easy feat considering how excited he was feeling for the expo.

Gerard had booked a ticket for a late night flight to Las Vegas that would get him to the Hard Rock hotel in the early hours of the morning. He had booked a room there just for the day so that he could nap when he arrived and then get up later to attend the actual expo. He had brought his luggage with him to work, just one rucksack containing three different outfits. He hadn’t decided yet which he was going to wear...

Gerard left work without speaking to anyone and made his way straight to the airport where he arrived in good time to catch his flight. He bought a magazine to read but ended up falling asleep on the plane anyway, waking up just as they landed in Las Vegas and his heart began to race. 

Gerard followed everybody else out of the plane but since his rucksack was carry on he was able to bypass the baggage claim and make his way straight out of the airport. He felt tired and a little disorientated as he got a cab to the hotel, but his sleepiness was not enough to stop his awe as he gazed out the window at all the bright lights going past. 

Las Vegas was like a Christmas tree shining in the desert, all multi coloured neon signs and flashing light displays. Gerard had seen plenty of pictures of the city, and of course movies that took place there, but he had never been to Las Vegas himself before. He began to regret not booking some time off work and staying longer, he could have really gone exploring and got to see more of the city. But then he was alone so... what was the point?

Gerard paid the cab driver once they reached the hotel before stepping out of the car with a dazed look on his face. The cab moved away and disappeared into the lit up night as Gerard stared up at the huge, white building. There was giant, neon light guitar up on the roof and he felt its luminous glow warming his face as he stared at it.

It was all so decadent... Gerard felt almost ashamed, yet equally excited, for having forked out enough money for a room. Even if it was only for one night, it was probably more luxury than he could really afford.

Still, he was here and there was no going back now. 

Gerard wandered into the reception and booked in, smiling as he took his card key and started towards the elevators. There were banners and posters around advertising the expo, though the images on these were much more family friendly, the models wearing whole bikinis.

Gerard walked slowly across the entrance hall, looking at the people milling around him. It looked like the majority of people here were here for the convention, many fake boobs and lip glossed smiles making Gerard’s stomach churn. Along with the plastic women there were men wearing their shades in doors and sporting large biceps and tattoos. Everyone here looked like a rock star, a porn star, or both... Gerard already felt out of place and he blushed as he got into the nearest elevator and huddled in the corner.

It was a relief when the doors slid shut and Gerard felt himself moving upwards. He would have to really dress to impress in the morning, he could tell. He was still excited though, nothing could dampen his mood when he knew that in just a few hours he would be meeting Frank Iero himself. Hell, he may already be in this very building... Gerard’s heart stuttered at the thought.

As the elevator doors pinged open Gerard stepped out into the hallway and looked around at the doors to judge which direction the numbers were going in and where he had to go. Once he had his bearings he began making his way down the plush carpeted hallway, looking down at his card key to confirm his room number, the sound of people talking at the other end of the corridor meeting his ears as they rounded the corner and came into sight behind him. 

“-like meeting my fans. I love it even. I’ve got nothing wrong with it Bill I’m just saying don’t try and hook me up with any of them this year. I’m not some prostitute ya know.”

“Well I dunno... You do get paid for sex.” 

“Yeah but its different! I’m not sleeping with a fan okay, I completely refuse. It’s just too weird having some guy slobbering all over you like that, knowing they probably jack off over you all day, every day. I just... I’m a porn star, not a whore.”

Gerard blushed as he heard the conversation going on behind him, recognising the voice but not believing it could be true. He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, pretending to scratch it as he subtly turned his head to glance over his shoulder.

Waiting for the elevator doors to open was a tall, middle aged man chatting brightly to... God, no... It couldn’t be.

Gerard felt his jaw dropping as Frank Iero scoffed at the older man’s remark that maybe if they could find a good looking fan Frank would feel different. Frank’s complaints that he had sex with strangers only for the cameras and only with other porn actors fading away as he stepped into the elevator and the doors slid shut again, Gerard’s heart racing.

Once the men had disappeared Gerard turned to stare dumbly at the spot where they had been, still convinced he must have imagined it. He had been right there... Frank Iero... Right. There. 

Gerard felt a bead of sweat roll down the back of his neck and creep along his spine as he tingled all over. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.


	3. Chapter three

Gerard lay in bed considering everything he had overheard in the corridor, his heart still hammering despite it being a good two hours later.

Once he had got into his room, Gerard had dumped is bag to the floor and gone straight to bed, exhausted from a long day working and travelling. Sleep wouldn’t come to him though, his mind too busy working over every little word he had heard escape Frank Iero’s mouth.

There seemed to be one major positive out of the little snippet of conversation Gerard had heard, and that was that Frank did enjoy meeting his fans. He’d even said he loved it, which just worked in Gerard’s favour since he had felt a little nervous that when it came to the convention Frank would be sat, waiting to meet his fans only because he was being paid to. That when Gerard finally reached his turn and got to meet him in person Frank would only stare at him with a bored expression and say nothing as he signed whatever Gerard found to give him.

At least now Gerard could rest easy knowing Frank genuinely wanted to meet the people who ‘slobbered over him’... But that then brought Gerard to all the other things he had heard Frank saying.

The topic of conversation had seemed strange to Gerard, and even now he could make little sense of it. Why would Frank feel the need to tell the man he was with that he wasn’t prepared to sleep with his fans? Maybe last year there had been an incident where he _had_ slept with one and it had been a disaster. Maybe the man Frank had been with had set it up, Gerard was sure he could remember Frank saying something about the man not trying to hook him up with anyone this year. 

Gerard mused over this as he hugged his pillow, his eyes closed but his mind still working over time. 

It seemed that Frank had either had sex with a fan before or had been put into a situation where he was expected to, and he didn’t feel comfortable with it. Gerard could understand it if that was the case, he could understand that there was a difference between sleeping with another porn actor and sleeping with a fan. At least with another actor you knew they were in it for the same reasons as you: Money. With a fan they’d probably be doing it for the hope they could get something out of it, a relationship or a claim to fame. Frank wasn’t just a sex object for other people to use... Gerard understood that perfectly.

Gerard sighed to himself and bowed his head, burying his face into the soft pillow in his arms. Part of him was thrilled Frank wasn’t the type of person to fuck his fans, but then another part of him was secretly devastated. Gerard would be lying if he said he hadn’t fantasised about having sex with Frank many times, it was hardly surprising with the amount of time he spent obsessing over him, watching his every video and looking at every photo shoot. Gerard felt as if he knew the man personally he had seen so many interviews and read so many blogs... but of course he knew he only knew what Frank was happy to broadcast publicly. And deep down that wasn’t enough.

Gerard wanted to get to know Frank properly. He wanted to know the man and not just the porn star. He wanted to be able to chat with him and smoke with him, maybe take him to the Italian restaurant in New York... He wanted to wake up next to him and kiss up the smooth slope of his neck, to inhale his scent and feel his body connected against his. 

God... Gerard _ached_ for it. He wanted it all and he wanted it only with Frank. He wasn’t a fool, he knew he was dreaming of having a relationship with the man and he knew it was absurd. Frank was completely out of his league, he was untouchable... And how could Gerard ever secure even one tiny date with him if Frank didn’t want that kind of thing with his fans?

Gerard knew if he ever stood a chance with Frank he had to find a way to talk to the man as just a stranger and not another fan. But the only way Gerard would ever be able to talk to Frank at all was by approaching him at his signing table... and only fans would go there...

Gerard groaned and squeezed his eyes tight shut, a surge of sorrow washing through him. He wanted Frank so badly that it hurt, but there was nothing he could do... Even if he could find a way to talk to Frank without letting on he was a fan, why would Frank ever look twice at him anyway? He probably already had a boyfriend. He was far too gorgeous to be single; he was probably dating another ridiculously sexy porn star who would laugh with him in the evening over all the silly little fans who drooled over their videos.

Gerard sighed and pulled the covers tighter around himself, curling into a ball as he forced himself to admit he could never stand a chance with a man like Frank. He would simply have to settle with meeting him for a few seconds tomorrow, get something signed, maybe get a photograph, and then he would go on his date with Brian on Friday and forget all about the porn star...

xXx

Gerard slept in that morning, catching up on some much needed sleep before slipping out of bed and wandering to the bathroom to shower. Frank was due on the ‘stars exposed’ stage in just one hour, but Gerard wouldn’t be going down to the convention to watch. He only really wanted to meet the man, and that wasn’t happening until two in the afternoon, he had plenty of time to kill.

Gerard took his time in the shower, trying to cheer himself up and feel excited for the expo but he just felt dejected. He couldn’t believe he had spent fifty dollars on a ticket for this thing just for a few seconds with Frank Iero. He wasn’t planning on exploring the convention itself, Gerard was not a porn fanatic and he refused to sink to the level of one. He just liked Frank... Sure he watched other porn stars from time to time, but the way he saw it he only watched the same amount of porn as any other man... If you took away all the times he watched Frank. And Frank didn’t count because that was different, that was more than just a need to get off...

Gerard stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, padding quietly back into his room as he tried to forget about Frank and porn for just five minutes. He was starting to really notice how much it consumed his life and he was beginning to realise that needed to stop.

Gerard sat down on his bed and picked his cell phone off the bedside table. He looked at it for a moment before opening up a new text and tapping his fingers over the keys. 

_’Hey, stuck in L.V. bored... Thinking about how much fun we’ll have next week x’_

Gerard wasn’t sure what made him write it, or why he didn’t even hesitate before sending it to Brian. He just... He felt like he should give the man something to make him know that Gerard was excited for their date, even though he wasn’t... He was warming to the idea of it, but maybe that was just because he was starting to depress himself with all this thinking about Frank and he just needed to feel like at least someone out there wanted him. 

Besides, Brian was attractive. Gerard knew he should give him a chance.

Gerard tried on the three outfits he had brought with him one at a time, staring into the full length mirror beside the door and trying to judge what looked the best. He knew Frank was only going to look at him and see another faceless fan, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least try and get his attention. 

After a painful hour of trying the clothes on again and again and deliberating over what looked the best Gerard finally settled on the first outfit. Plain black jeans, black boots and a white shirt and black waistcoat. He rolled the shirt sleeves up and left the collar undone so it didn’t look so formal before he got busy styling his hair. 

Gerard used his fingers and hairspray to style his hair into a messy half quiff, ruffling up the ends of his hair and giving himself a generally dishevelled look that always had people staring at him when he did it for work. He smudged some eyeliner around his eyes next; taking his time to make sure everything looked perfect before he grabbed his leather jacket and mirror aviators. Brian still hadn’t text him back, but he supposed he was probably still sleeping.

Gerard wandered to the elevator and rode it down to the reception, trying to psyche himself up into looking confident and not terrified. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling so nervous, he wasn’t even going to the expo yet, he was just going to go outside for a cigarette. 

The reception was full of people as Gerard stepped out of the elevator, many of them obviously here for the expo. People were standing around chatting and laughing, some double doors were opened at one side of the room and led into the convention hall. There were two men in suits stood by the doors checking people’s tickets, and even more AEE posters were dotted about.

Gerard dodged a woman in a bikini as he made his way hurriedly across the reception to the doors that led outside, some burly men grunting as he slid past them. Everyone looked either slutty, sleazy or intimidating and Gerard felt even more nervous than before. He was certain he stood out like a sore thumb, his paranoia making him convinced everyone was staring at him as he walked outside and strolled quickly round the side of the building to stand in a sort of garden area for smoking.

Gerard breathed a sigh of relief when he found himself alone, his heart hammering like a frightened rabbit’s as his hands shakily dug a cigarette from the box he pulled from his pocket. He knew he needed to calm down and just relax; there was no reason to be frightened. He had known he didn’t like being alone in large crowds like this before he even booked the ticket; he should have prepared himself for this. He was twenty six for God’s sake; he should be more than capable of going places alone by now.

Gerard placed his cigarette between his lips and raised his lighter, cursing as he struggled to ignite a flame. His thumb slipped again and again as he tried to create a spark, his hands shaking more the more he struggled. 

“Outta gas?” A friendly voice enquired beside him, Gerard’s lighter getting nudged aside as another drifted into view, a flickering orange flame licking against the end of his cigarette whilst a tattooed hand cupped around the flame to protect it from the wind.

Gerard took a long, grateful drag on his cigarette when it finally lit; the lighter disappearing and Gerard looked up to see his saviour.

“Thanks I –” Gerard fell silent, almost losing his cigarette as his jaw dropped. Concentrating on lighting his own cigarette was none other than Frank Iero. Gerard’s heart nearly stopped working altogether as he stared at the man of his dreams, standing barely two feet away from him, his beautiful pink lips wrapped around the paper cylinder he was holding a flame to.

A million thoughts ran through Gerard’s head in a second, his hand coming up to take hold of his cigarette before he lost it, whilst his mind screamed at him to close his mouth and stop looking so shocked. 

In the tiny second it took for Frank to light his cigarette Gerard managed to summon up his thoughts and realise that this was going to be his only chance to make an impact on Frank without being just another fan. He knew he needed to compose and relax, but that was a lot easier said than done, especially when mingled in with all his sensible, coherent thoughts was his mind screaming:

_’Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God. That’s Frank. That’s Frank. That is Frank. Oh my God. He’s perfect. Oh my GOD.’_

“So,” Frank pocketed his lighter as he took a long drag on his cigarette before he held it between two fingers and blew a stream of smoke into the air. “You here for the convention?”

“What convention?” Gerard blurted out without thinking, his voice thankfully not trembling despite how everything inside him was shaking and swirling and collapsing into a pile of destroyed organs in the pit of his stomach.

Frank flashed a wide grin at Gerard, his expression amused. 

“Err, the one inside? The Adult Entertainment Expo.” He smirked softly, raising his cigarette to his lips again, Gerard unable to stop his eyes from following the movement and making his mouth water as he stared at Frank’s mouth. Oh what he’d give to be able to kiss him.

“Oh, is that what that is?” He said as casually and disinterested as he could, his hand trembling only a little as he lifted his own cigarette. “I was wondering why there were so many people here.” 

“I bet.” Frank chuckled softly, his laughter gentle and a little husky from his smoking. He was gazing intently at Gerard with sparkling, playful eyes, taking in the whole appearance of the taller man and deciding he liked what he saw. He was dressed a lot differently to everyone else around that day, it was interesting. 

“So what are you here for? A wedding?” 

“A wedding?” Gerard blinked stupidly, confused as he looked at Frank. “No, why?” 

“Just the whole shirt and waistcoat thing.” Frank shrugged, giggling at the way Gerard’s cheeks instantly grew pink. He had never seen a grown man blush so easily before, especially not a grown man who looked as confident and gorgeous as this guy. “It’s pretty hot.” Frank added gently, trying to make up for embarrassing the man.

Gerard almost choked on the smoke he was currently inhaling into his lungs, his hand coming up to flail ridiculously as he panicked and tried to pass off his coughing as a sneeze. Opposite him Frank grinned, the younger man having to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing at the way Gerard stumbled and waved his hand around like a fool. 

“Erm...”

“Bless me.” Gerard squeaked, still trying to keep up his sneeze facade, his cheeks flaming an even deeper red that was starting to spread to the rest of his face as Frank giggled softly. Gerard wasn’t sure he had heard Frank properly... had he really said he looked hot? Well, even if he had Gerard had probably just promptly made him change his mind.

“I err, no I’m... I’m here for a bachelor party.” He coughed softly, guessing it was probably best to use the same lie as he had told Brian. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was lying to Frank at all, he just wasn’t thinking straight. He was running on instinct and instinct wasn’t really helping him.

“Oh really?” Frank beamed, looking genuinely interested. “That’s cool man, you off somewhere fun?” He asked conversationally, soft tendrils of smoke stroking against his lips as he blew another stream into the air, Gerard getting hopelessly distracted for a moment. 

“What?” He breathed, staring at Frank’s perfectly soft lips before he snapped out of it and quickly got talking. “Err actually we err, the party was yesterday I’m just... I’m just hangin’ around. The others are all still sleeping off hangovers so... so erm...” Gerard trailed off, his heart hammering painfully fast in his chest. He desperately wanted to come across as confident and sexy but he didn’t know how. Frank just emitted sex without even trying. 

Frank gazed at Gerard with a large grin, his eyes sparkling as he stared at him. He didn’t know who this guy was but he was adorable. He looked like rock star but acted like a shy teenager, it was cute. 

“Oh right.” He giggled softly, smoking his cigarette again as Gerard tried not to stare at him. It was hard though, Frank made the dirty habit look erotic as hell and Gerard could feel that his jeans were tighter than they had been before. Thankfully they had already been pretty tight, so he wasn’t likely to get a boner despite how sexy Frank looked as he flicked the building ash off the end of his cigarette and licked his lips.

“So what you’re saying is, is that you’re kinda at a loose end right now, right?” Frank asked innocently, his eyes flicking down to look at the cigarette dangling, forgotten, between Gerard’s fingers. The ash was building and looked about ready to fall and Frank had to bite his tongue so he didn’t laugh.

“Huh? Oh... Erm... I guess.” Gerard shrugged, not sure where Frank was going with this. It was making breathing pretty hard though. He felt so nervous, it wasn’t butterflies in his tummy it was a herd of cattle running around and bashing their horns against his insides. 

“Maybe you should come to the convention then? I mean, you’re a guy, you must like some kinda ‘adult entertainment’ right?” Frank asked silkily, Gerard blushing deeply at that. What, was it written across his forehead or something? Did Frank know he was a fan after all? Was he just making it painfully obvious, he felt like he was...

“Oh err... I dunno, I...”

“Oh come on.” Frank pushed, stubbing his cigarette against the wall of the building before flicking it into a nearby bin. “It might be fun; I gotta go back inside now to get ready to meet my fans.” Frank sighed and glanced at his watch, Gerard blushing deeply. 

“F – Fans?” 

Frank looked at Gerard and grinned, nodding his head. This guy really didn’t know who he was? God, Frank had been coming to this expo since the start of his career and he was never able to go anywhere without people knowing him. It made a refreshing change to be in front of someone who genuinely didn’t know him.

“Yeah. I’m a porn star.” Frank laughed at the way Gerard’s blush deepened and he winked at the older man. “You should come in, stop by my table so we can chat some more.” He offered, his heart racing a little. He rarely got nervous around people, but this was kinda nerve wracking. He was confident, but it took an idiot to not get a little nervous after admitting to someone you’re a porn star and then flirting with them in the same breath. Especially when Frank didn’t even know if this guy was gay or not.

“Oh well I... Wow, erm...” Gerard still felt too stunned over the blunt way Frank had just admitted his profession that he wasn’t sure how to respond and he bit his lip when Frank giggled softly and shrugged.

“Well, it’s up to you anyway... I hope to see you in there.” He smiled warmly, turning to walk away before glancing back over his shoulder and smirking at Gerard’s cigarette. “Don’t burn yourself.” He added playfully before he slid on his shades and sauntered away, Gerard watching him go, his eyes fixed on his pert butt making his cock twitch in his pants. 

“Wow...” He breathed to himself, fidgeting uncomfortably before he looked down to see what Frank had been talking about and gasped, quickly dropping his cigarette that had nearly burnt right down to his fingers and crushing his heel over it as he blushed. 

He seriously needed to compose before he went inside.

xXx

Gerard swallowed thickly as he stood awkwardly in line with hundreds of other men all waiting to meet the infamous Frank Iero. 

Gerard liked to think he had composed a sufficient amount before making his way into the convention hall, flashing his ticket at the bouncers on the doors and receiving a programme for the trouble. He was clutching it now, though he didn’t much like it. It was mostly just half naked female models and articles aimed at the larger, heterosexual pornography audience, which ironically also included a large lesbian sub-context. 

Glancing over the shoulder of the man in front of him Gerard could see many in the line who hadn’t brought something specific with them to get signed had turned their own programmes to a page near the back which had a written interview with Frank. 

Gerard glanced at his own glossy booklet and turned to the correct page, his heart missing a beat at the gorgeous photograph of Frank. It was one he had seen before, the interview also a few months old and Gerard had read it a million times already, but he scanned his eyes over it again to pass the time as he waited in line. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say or do when he got to the front of the line, now that he had lied to Frank about being a fan he wasn’t sure what he should do.

He was trying to psyche himself up to appear confident and sexy when he got to the front. He was hoping he’d be able to say something witty about meeting Frank outside and secure another conversation. Though the queue was going moving quickly, it was apparent that each fan was only allowed thirty seconds or so with the star before being moved on. What could Gerard do in that time? If Frank hadn’t asked him to come in then he probably would have given up then and just gone. 

Gerard sighed and gazed around with his teeth clamped over his lower lip. The expo was huge, hundreds of stalls and advertisements filling up the carpeted floor. The place was rammed with people and adult entertainment stars, paparazzi stood around taking pictures of the event. It was all very glitz and glamour, not at all the type of thing Gerard was used to.

Somewhere nearby a man was shouting about free adult comics that were being given away; Gerard glanced over with some interest, but quickly turned to look forward again as the line moved and he found himself only three men from the front. 

It all seemed to move very quickly after that.

Gerard could feel his heart thudding faster and faster as he got closer and closer to first place, his palms growing so sweaty that he had to hold his programme by the tips of his fingers so he didn’t get dampness on the shiny pages. His breathing was getting heavier, his head spinning slightly. He was still trying to come to terms with the fact that he had met Frank outside and he wasn’t sure his body was going to be able to handle meeting him again. Especially when he wouldn’t be able to fan boy over him and get a picture like everyone else. Instead he needed to think fast about how to be confident and suave, but Gerard didn’t think he had a single suave cell in his body...

“Alright, next.” The man stood behind Frank’s shoulder called, the fan in front of Gerard stumbling away from the table with a flushed look of excitement on his face. Gerard tried not to look terrified as he tripped forward, Frank looking up and gasping when he saw him.

“Hey! You actually came!” He beamed, jumping to his feet and pulling Gerard into a hug. Gerard, along with the line of men behind him, looked bewildered as Frank squeezed him for a second before releasing him and dropping back into his chair with a small giggle. “I didn’t think you’d make it.”

“Well I... I had nothing better to do.” Gerard shrugged, his heart having palpitations in his chest. “I was given this on the door,” He continued quickly, holding up his programme, turned to the page on Frank. “I figured I’d best ask you to sign it since you’re err –” Gerard glanced down to the find the quote he was looking for, even though he already knew it off by heart. “Gay porn’s most popular twink.” He read aloud, smirking slightly at Frank as he handed the book over and Frank grinned at him.

“Well, I don’t like to brag.” He smirked, picking up the silver marker beside him and scribbling his autograph over the page, eyes still fixed on Gerard. “Though I can’t believe they’re still calling me a twink, I resent that.” He chuckled playfully, curving his arm around the page as if to hide his writing as he continued to scribble over the page. “What’s your name handsome?”

“It’s Gerard.” Gerard was immensely relieved when his words didn’t come out as the squeak he had been expecting them too, his heart racing so fast he knew he needed to get outside and get some fresh air. 

“Well Gerard,” Frank raised the programme and blew softly over the page to dry the marker ink, the sight of his pouted lips making Gerard’s cock stir in his jeans. It was doing that a lot today, with all this Frank interaction. He thought fleetingly of how he should have jerked off in the shower earlier, then he wouldn’t be having this issue so much. 

“I hope you weren’t just asking for this to sell it on eBay.” Frank smirked, closing the book and handing it to him. 

“What makes you think I’d do that?” Gerard asked, genuinely surprised though he managed to match Frank’s playful tone. 

“Well, it’s not often I sign things for someone who hasn’t heard of me. I’m worried you might actually be straight and just picking on this poor little twink for some easy cash.” Frank’s eyes were twinkling playfully as he grinned at Gerard, the man behind him tapping Frank’s shoulder and reminding him he needed to move onto the next fan. Frank nodded but held up a hand to silence the man as he waited for Gerard’s response. 

“Hey, don’t call yourself a twink. I resent that.” Gerard mirrored Frank’s earlier words, smirking playfully. Frank grinned at him and he felt a strange tingle in his stomach as Gerard held the programme in one hand and turned to move away. “And for the record, I’m not straight.” He winked, letting a member of staff tug him away to let the other fans get their chance to meet Frank, but as he walked away he heard Frank giggle and say ‘thank God’.

Gerard stumbled away from the table and made his way through the crowds of people feeling hot all over. He couldn’t believe he had actually managed to talk to Frank without sounding too nervous or stupid, he had even managed to flirt a little. But mingled in with his excitement was a crushing feeling of disappointment. That was it... his day was over. His flight back home was in just a few hours and he still had to make his way to the airport. Despite meeting Frank as a supposed ‘non-fan’ and managing to fit in some tiny flirting he was going to have no choice other than to leave for NJ and never see Frank again.

Gerard bowed his head as he walked out of the convention hall and made his way to the elevators to go back to his room. He considered hanging around in the reception until he had to leave on the off chance of meeting Frank again, but that line of fans had been long, and Frank probably had lots of other appointments to keep. The chances of meeting him again were too small to entertain, and even if they did meet again, what difference would it make?

As Gerard reached his room he pulled his cell from his pocket to find that Brian had finally text back. He didn’t feel excited as he opened the message, and only sighed at the _’Oh trust me sugar, after next week you’ll never be bored again ;)’_ he had got in response. 

Gerard rolled his eyes and put his phone back into his pocket without typing a reply. He moved straight to the bed and sat on the edge with a sinking heart. It had been so amazing meet Frank, but he hadn’t even got a photo or anything. He had been too shocked to even savour it or really enjoy it, he felt like he had passed up a prime opportunity. He had hoped after meeting him he’d feel able to move on and leave him as just a porn star in his mind and be able to concentrate on making a real relationship with someone... but now he just felt even more certain that the only man for him was Frank.

Gerard sighed and laid his programme in his lap, staring down at the naked girls on the front and feeling sick. If he was straight would he have this problem? He had never heard of any straight guy getting obsessed over one girl and being unable to form relationships because of it... Most straight men seemed able to get with any girl who was mildly attractive. Gerard kind of wished he could just be like that, it’d be so much simpler.

Gerard began to flick through the programme, glancing boredly at the other articles before he turned to his signed interview of Frank, his heart jumping when he saw there was a little message written neatly above the autograph. He expected it was just the typical ‘to Gerard love Frank xo’ thing that all fans would get, but his cheeks soon flamed red when he saw that it wasn’t.

_’Gerard,_  
Meet me in the Fuel Cafe at 8.00pm?   
Frankie   
XO’ 

Beneath this was a hastily scribbled cell phone number that Gerard assumed must be Frank’s though he was too afraid to so much as send a text to it. He put it into his phone though, just because the fact he had secured a number from Frank was too amazing to ignore. Gerard felt his heart jump in his chest and happiness fizz in his belly as he typed the number into his contact list and added Frank’s name with the signature ‘XO’ on the end. He couldn’t believe it... He... It had to be a joke.

Suddenly a wave of nausea and sadness washed over Gerard as he considered this. What if it was all a joke? What if Frank could tell he was lying and that he really was just another hopelessly obsessed fan? What if he wasn’t even going to be at the cafe later, or even worse, someone else would be there and Gerard would be left hurt and humiliated. What if this was some kind of cruel porn star joke and when Gerard showed up Frank would stood with his friends and laugh that someone like Gerard would ever think he stood a chance with Frank Iero himself.

Gerard sighed and bowed his head, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. Of course there was no question about him going, even though it meant he would have to cancel his flight and book another one for tomorrow morning, ultimately meaning he’d probably be late to work on Monday, there was no way he would be able to ignore this. If he didn’t go he’d spend the rest of his life wondering ‘what if?’

xXx

Gerard decided it must have been a stroke of luck that he had brought three outfits with him since he was able to change before he went to the cafe that evening. This time he was wearing blue jeans and a simple white, v-neck shirt. He kept his hair as it was and slid his shades on to try and appear a little more rock star. It was actually his least favourite outfit, but he felt it was probably the one that fit in most in this environment.

Gerard felt sick with nerves as he made his way to the elevator and down to the reception hall. He wasn’t entirely sure where the Fuel Cafe was but he hadn’t left in good time to find it. He didn’t want to arrive early, or even bang on time. If Frank _was_ going to be there, Gerard didn’t want to lose his nerve by sitting down and waiting for him only to leave too soon when he no doubt convinced himself Frank wouldn’t turn up. It was just better for his sanity to turn up a little late.

Gerard was kind of certain already that Frank wasn’t going to show. But he had spent his afternoon and early evening pacing his room and talking himself into at least summoning the courage to go down. Even if Frank wasn’t there Gerard could simply sit down, have a drink, and then leave again as if that was exactly what he had planned to do all along. Though he would feel pretty stupid about it, especially since he had had to rebook his plane flight until tomorrow and thus pay the extortionate amount of money to stay in his room for another night.

Gerard just prayed it would all be worth it.

After asking the woman at reception how to get to the Fuel Cafe Gerard made his way down a corridor and outside to the pool. He ignored the people around him as he walked past the lit up water and focused on following the receptionist’s instructions. 

Gerard checked his phone just outside the cafe door, seeing he was only five minutes late he braced himself for the painful blow of discovering Frank had stood him up, before he slowly pushed open the door and made his way inside.

As soon as he had stepped over the threshold Gerard’s senses were attacked by the rich aroma of full, Italian coffee. His mouth watered instantly and he almost closed his eyes in delight. He would definitely stay for just one drink, if nothing else. 

“Gerard! Hey! You made it!” Gerard looked around at the excitable greeting and blushed deeply when he saw Frank getting to his feet at a table for two beside one of the windows. He was a vision of beauty in tight black jeans and a loose Iron Maiden shirt that seemed to have been ripped at the hem since his navel was on show whilst he waved Gerard over. 

Gerard was grateful that his feet moved without the need for his brain to function, his mind working on making sure his jaw didn’t drop as he made his way, dream like, to Frank’s table. 

“H – Hey...” He smiled, having to quickly remind himself to be seductive and as un-fanlike as possible. “Sorry I’m a little late I –”

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” Frank laughed, shaking his head fondly and gesturing at Gerard to sit down. “I ordered us some drinks in, I hope you don’t mind. Just I wouldn’t have let you pick your own anyway since I already know these Chai Latte’s are to die for.” He winked, picking up his own cup and taking a sip. 

Gerard watched as Frank closed his eyes and sighed in delight, Gerard’s mind instantly twisting it into a sigh of sexual pleasure and he had to squeeze his legs together to stop his jeans from tightening. 

“Thanks I... I love Chai Latte’s.” Gerard smiled softly, though it was a lie. He had never even heard of Chai Latte’s before. It was lucky he even knew what a latte was. As much as Gerard loved coffee his limited knowledge of the substance allowed only for ‘white coffee’ and ‘black coffee’. He had heard of Latte’s but what they were he wasn’t entirely sure. 

“Yeah?” Frank beamed, apparently thrilled that he and Gerard had something in common. “They’re my absolute favourite, I love anything with cinnamon in.” Frank sighed softly, smiling to himself as Gerard took a sip of the hot coffee and found that it was actually delicious. It was smooth and a little frothy, very milky but the taste of coffee was still strong. And there was definitely cinnamon there... maybe Chai was just a fancy way of saying cinnamon then.

“Mm... Me too.” This time it wasn’t a lie. “Every time I try to make pumpkin pie my family complain I put too much cinnamon in it. You literally can’t taste the pumpkin after.” Gerard laughed softly, stunned to find he was feeling nowhere near as nervous as he had been expecting to feel. His stomach was churning a little, but he felt pretty relaxed in Frank’s company, finding him easy to talk to.

“Man that sounds good.” Frank purred, sipping his drink and gazing at Gerard with a warm smile. He liked this guy... he didn’t really know why. Obviously he was attractive, but he seemed sort of mysterious too. Behind his adorable awkwardness Frank could see there was a second edge to him and the thought of unleashing it excited him. “Pumpkin pie is the best.”

“God, I know.” Gerard chuckled, grinning as he sipped his drink. “This is delicious.”

“Mm...” Frank smiled and nodded, running his finger around the rim of his cup as he gazed seductively at Gerard. “So, did you go round the expo after you saw me?” He asked conversationally, Gerard shaking his head.

“Nah I... It wasn’t really my thing.” He shrugged, Frank smirking as he looked at him.

“Do you not watch porn or something?” He asked curiously, finding that hard to believe. Didn’t everyone watch porn? Frank supposed he was a little biased, it was easy to become convinced that everyone is seeing you get fucked when you start in the porn business, he often had to remind himself that wasn’t the case.

“Well yeah I mean... Sure I do, who doesn’t right?” Gerard shrugged, Frank smiling curiously at him. “I just… I dunno. I watch it and that’s it. I don’t consider myself like, a fan or whatever. I go to comic con’s not porn expos.” He chuckled, blushing at how horribly false that was. He didn’t want to lie to Frank but God... He couldn’t let him know he was a fan, it would ruin all his chances. 

Frank didn’t seem to realise that Gerard was lying to him and the grin that spread across his face made Gerard blush further. 

“What?”

“You go to comic cons?” Frank giggled, Gerard blushing so hard even his ears burned. 

“Yeah...” He mumbled slowly, mentally beating himself up for revealing it. Oh God, now Frank was going to think he was a nerd and never talk to him again. “I mean... well I... Well, ya know sometimes... Just...”

“Man I love comic cons.” Frank beamed, interrupting before Gerard could get too flustered. “Are you a DC or Marvel man?” Frank giggled, Gerard staring at him in shock for a long moment. Frank couldn’t really be asking him this could he? Frank... Frank couldn’t actually like comics too, could he? That would just make him too perfect.

“Well I... I dunno. That’s a tough one.” He began slowly, watching Frank carefully to judge whether he was making fun of him or not but the younger man seemed genuinely interested. “I’d say I like more characters developed by Marvel but... DC has Alan Moore and he’s my idol so I’m gonna have to say DC.” He said softly, the question something he and Mikey had debated many times. Sometimes Gerard changed his mind and went Marvel but for the past few years he had stuck with DC.

“Alan Moore’s your idol?” Frank giggled, beaming at Gerard as he idly stirred his latte. “The man’s amazing I’ll admit but he’s a fucking lunatic.” He smirked, Gerard blushing and feeling a surge of defensiveness run through him.

“I dunno...”

“Oh come on, everyone knows he’s crazy.” Frank smirked, knowing he was goading Gerard but wanting to see how he’d react. Frank supposed he was one of those guys who liked to play with fire, but he didn’t want to get his fingers burnt. 

“It’s been debated.” Gerard responded after some thought, smiling a little as Frank laughed. It wasn’t a mocking or insulting laugh, just a genuine, happy sound that made Gerard relax even more. 

“Man, Alan Moore is bat shit crazy and you know it.” Frank smirked, sipping his coffee as Gerard’s lips tugged into a small smirk of his own.

“Alright. But he’s still amazing. And very charming, I’ll have you know.” He said innocently, Frank raising his eyebrows at him.

“How would you know?”

“I’ve met him.”

“Fuck, really!?” Frank gasped, almost dropping his mug in surprise. Gerard laughed and nodded, softly telling Frank about the time he had met Moore at a get together of artists and writers put on by some company in association with Cartoon Network, and how he’d got some original art signed by him.

Frank was extremely impressed and seemed to be genuinely interested in everything Gerard had to say. He asked him lots of questions, Gerard revealing his age and telling Frank about his job, blushing a little as he explained his hopes for the future with The Breakfast Monkey and smiling when Frank gushed over how amazing it was that he could potentially have his own cartoon. 

The two men talked for hours, two more cups of coffee and then a smoothie each following before the late hour called at them both to go to bed. Frank was exhausted from an early morning and a day smiling and being wonderful for the fans. And Gerard was exhausted from trying to contain an erection for four hours whilst he chatted with the object of his desires.

“So, you must be getting a plane back to New Jersey right?” Frank asked as they began to gather up their things and make their way back to the reception together. Gerard nodded and glanced at Frank, biting his lip. He had almost completely forgotten that he was a porn star, instead he was just a deliriously gorgeous man who Gerard had very much enjoyed talking to. The thought of never seeing him again made him feel sick.

“What times your flight?”

“Its tomorrow morning. Eight o clock.” Gerard replied softly, Frank meeting his gaze as they walked past the pool. 

“You think you could reschedule it?” He asked softly, his lips tugging into a playful smile. Gerard stared at him in confusion, his heart jumping. The answer was no, he couldn’t reschedule it. He had to get back home to get some rest before work on Monday. It was crucial he was at work on time and in the best form for the upcoming week until the board got back to him about his cartoon. He knew that... but he still found himself saying yes. 

“I guess I could. Why do you ask?”

“Good, reschedule it.” Frank ordered, flashing his cheeky grin at Gerard. “I don’t have to show my face at the convention tomorrow, and I’m nowhere near through talking with you. Book yourself an evening flight, tomorrow I’m taking you round Vegas.”


	4. Chapter four

Gerard wasn’t sure how he had found himself staying an extra day in Las Vegas. An extra day that he really couldn’t afford... He should have said no to Frank. He should have told him that it was crucial he made it to work on time on Monday morning, and so he was really sorry but he couldn’t possibly spend another day in the lit up city. At this rate he was going to lose his chances of scoring a cartoon deal by turning up to work ridiculously late or even worse, not at all on Monday.

Knowing that didn’t stop Gerard from calling up the airport anyway and rebooking his flight, despite the fact his stomach churned the whole time he spoke to the kind woman on the phone. He spun some story about an emergency business meeting being called in the city and had to pay just a minimum fee for changing his flight time _again_ , his mind screaming at him the whole time not to be so stupid. His heart though was doing a happy dance by the feel of things.

Gerard struggled to sleep that night, his whole body full of a nervous excitement that made him feel restless and a little sick. He didn’t know how he was going to survive a whole day alone with Frankie; one thing was for sure he was going to have to make sure his body didn’t get over excited. 

He had only one outfit left, which consisted of another pair of trusty jeans and a casual Frankenstein t-shirt, akin to the kind of thing he used to wear in high school. He had planned to just wear it home since it was comfortable, but he would have to wear it out today too since it was suicide for Frank to see him wearing the same outfit twice in a row... But the blue jeans were an interesting fit, nice and loose but still figure hugging. But they certainly wouldn’t be very good at hiding an ill timed erection.

Before getting dressed Gerard had a shower, mostly so that he could jerk off before getting dressed. He wasn’t really in the mood to, he just knew that if he didn’t he’d end up making a fool of himself in the end by getting a hard on at an awkward moment. Frank was just far too gorgeous, and far too seductive for Gerard to not try and get his sex drive way down before meeting up with him.

After stepping out of the shower and blow drying his hair Gerard felt a little less nervous. He even felt that his outfit didn’t look too bad despite its casualness. He straightened his hair and put on a little eyeliner before deeming himself acceptable for public viewing and making his way down to the reception hall.

As the elevator travelled down Gerard took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for the day ahead. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, spending time with Frank was going to be amazing and painful in equal doses. As much as he was thrilled he was going to be with Frank all day, he still felt like he was in a state of shock. 

Why would someone as stunning as Frank ask him to spend the day with them? 

Gerard was still half convinced this was all going to end up being a cruel joke, and even if it wasn’t he was only going to spend the next several hours doing his best not to do anything stupid and most likely failing anyway. He couldn’t imagine this day was going to end well but he still found himself walking out of the elevator as if in a daze, a puppet on Frank’s strings.

Gerard made his way through the crowds of people who were stood around in the reception waiting to go into the expo for the second day and made his way outside where he had promised to meet Frank. This time he made sure he arrived on time, not wanting to seem like he was always late, but Frank was still already there when he stepped out into the bright Nevada sunshine.

“Hey!” Frank beamed when he spotted Gerard, bounding over to him and flinging his arms around his neck. Like usual Gerard blushed and stuttered ridiculously, wrapping his arms around Frank instinctively whilst his heart thundered erratically. This boy was going to be the death of him.

“You’re not dressed very summery.” Frank noted once he had stood back, checking out Gerard’s outfit with a giggle. Gerard blushed deeply and wrapped his arms self consciously around his body, biting his lip as he looked at Frank’s clothes.

The younger man was wearing a pair of denim cut offs that came only to the knee, exposing the lower half of his legs. He was wearing a pair of Vans pumps and a baggy Iggy and the Stooges t-shirt which he had torn the sleeves off and ripped the neckline into a ragged V. Atop his head were a pair of mirrored aviator glasses waiting to be used. Frank was the picture of summer.

“I... I didn’t have any summer clothes with me.” Gerard mumbled, embarrassed. It was a bright, sunny day, and of course it was hot; but Gerard had spent his whole life refusing to dress summery and he was used to wearing jeans and dark t-shirts in the heat by now. Besides, even if he had wanted to wear something a little more appropriate for the weather, he didn’t have anything. Frank raised his eyebrows at the older man, smirking slowly. 

“You came to the desert without summer clothes?” He asked through a chuckle, Gerard’s blush intensifying.

“Well I wasn’t exactly planning to go wandering about outside.” He pointed out, before realising that was a ridiculous thing to say. “Err, during the day.” He quickly added, his entire face and neck beet red. Frank quirked an eyebrow at him but didn’t question him, just accepting what Gerard said without question.

“Alright, well then I’ll take you shopping.” He shrugged, Gerard staring at him like he was crazy. Frank laughed at his expression and grabbed his hand, dragging him across the street to start walking down the strip. 

“What?” Gerard squeaked, stumbling along beside Frank with their hands still linked. It was difficult to think straight considering what Frank had just said and with their hands joined as they were, Gerard’s head was spinning. “No, Frankie what are you saying? I don’t need to go shopping I’m fine.”

“Ah quit whining, it’s too hot to walk around like that.” Frank laughed, turning his face to smile at Gerard and use his free hand to flick his shades down over his eyes. Gerard sighed and pulled his own shades from his pocket and put them on awkwardly with one hand, wondering why Frank hadn’t let his other hand go yet. 

“I don’t really wanna have to spend unnecessary money though Frankie.” Gerard said softly, not sure he wanted to go around trying on clothes with the object of his desires. 

“Don’t worry about that, I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t already planning to pay for it.” Frank smirked, Gerard staring at him in horror. He stopped walking and tugged his hand from Frank’s, causing the younger man to turn and look at him worriedly. “What?”

“I can’t let you do that Frank, that’s ridiculous.” Gerard whimpered, horrified that Frank would be willing to spend money on him. “You don’t even know me.”

“I want to get to know you.” Frank shrugged, stepping closer to Gerard and taking his hand again. “And I’m guessing, since you’ve cancelled your flight twice now, that you want to get to know me too.” He smiled softly, Gerard blushing deeply and bowing his head, embarrassed. Frank chuckled softly and shook his head fondly, squeezing Gerard’s hand.

“Look, I don’t wanna put too fine a point on it, but I earn more than enough money to spend a little on some clothes for a guy I don’t know.” He shrugged, Gerard raising his eyebrows at him. “And just looking at you in those clothes is making me hot, and not in the good way.” Frank added with a wink, Gerard unable to stop himself from giggling a little at that. 

“I just... I don’t want you to spend money on me.” He whimpered as Frank began tugging him down the street again. “I can pay for it, it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh Gerard shut up.” Frank laughed, shoving Gerard lightly. “I’m paying now come _on_.” 

xXx

Gerard stretched as he stepped outside onto the strip, hating to admit that he did feel much more comfortable now he was in more summery clothes. The heat was more enjoyable now it was warming his pale legs and arms. 

Frank had picked out the pair of knee length jeans and Ed Hardy vest for Gerard, laughing off his protests that he would look stupid and shoving him into the fitting room after threatening that if he didn’t at least try the outfit Frank would strip him down and dress him again himself. As tempting as that sounded Gerard knew better than to get naked around the utter Greek God style perfection that was Frankie and had obediently disappeared into the cubicle alone.

Gerard took a while to get changed, spending a long moment just staring into the full length mirror inside the cubicle at his body once he had stripped to his boxers. He was far too pale, he supposed. And he had absolutely zero muscle definition where as he already knew that Frankie had a fair amount. The line of hair leading from his navel into his boxers looked almost obscene against his white skin, and he knew from watching Frank’s videos that he had no kind of body hair, other than his legs. 

Gerard bit his lip as he wondered why he was even here. He didn’t stand a chance with Frank, compared to other pornstars, hell other _people_ , he was laughingly unattractive. He was still the same skinny weirdo he had been high school. Who would wanna tap that?

It was a surprise then, when Gerard stepped out of the cubicle, that Frank gave him such a pleased look. The man smiled from ear to ear and declared the outfit was perfect before whipping off the tags to pay at the till whilst Gerard was still wearing the clothes. Gerard didn’t even know you were allowed to do that, but apparently he had a lot to learn. 

Now that he was outside again, his old clothes inside a bag the cashier had given him, he felt almost attractive as Frank took his hand again and began to walk down the strip at a leisurely pace. Gerard supposed he must have some sort of looks going for him if Frank was happy to be seen walking with him like this... as if they were a couple. Gerard had never held hands with another guy in public in his entire life yet here he was, strolling through Las Vegas with his fingers linked with those of the man he had been fantasising over for years. 

It just had to be a dream.

Frank took Gerard through the city, laughing and chatting as if they had known each other for years. They browsed in some shops and went into a games arcade when they both agreed gambling in a casino just wasn’t a good idea, and then took an open bus tour of the city with their hands never breaking apart.

After the bus ride Frank took Gerard to a restaurant Frank had been to before on his other trips to Vegas, and the two men sat down together in a secluded booth where they could have some privacy. Whilst they had been exploring the city Gerard had seen a few men looking at Frank as if they recognised him, but none dared approach. Gerard supposed if he had seen Frank walking around in New York holding hands with another man he would have been too shy to approach too... maybe that was the whole reason Frank was holding his hand. To stop fans from trying to talk to him.

Gerard was quiet as he and Frank browsed the menus and then gave their orders to the waiter. Once they had been left alone with their drinks Gerard found himself at a loss for words and so simply stared into his Pepsi and pushed the ice cubes around with his straw. All day he and Frank had been chatting without a problem, but now he was suddenly nervous again, over analysing the whole day so far and worrying that Frank secretly wanted him to go away but was too nice to tell him.

“So...” Gerard looked up through his eyelashes as Frank spoke, the younger man leaning forward over the table as he smiled at Gerard. “Are you having a nice time?”

“Mhmm...” Gerard nodded, sipping his drink quickly whilst he could formulate an answer that wasn’t going to be a squeak or a ‘please fuck me God I love you’. “Thanks for today, it’s been nice...” 

“You’re welcome.” Frank grinned, his signature smile making Gerard melt inside. The man was just too perfect, Gerard was amazed he had managed to not freak out so far in utter excitement. Though he supposed his self consciousness helped balance that out. 

“So, what time is your flight tonight?” Frank asked softly after another lull in conversation, his smile genuine though inside he was starting to worry that Gerard wanted to leave or something. He hadn’t been this quiet before. “I could come with you to the airport if you want.” Frank hoped he wasn’t overstepping a line here or something, he had been trying to ask all day but had been uncertain that Gerard would be cool with it. He didn’t want to come across as too strong.

Gerard looked at Frank in surprise, his eyes big and innocent as he wondered why Frank would want to do that. This is all seemed too good to be true, but Gerard wasn’t going to say no to anything Frank offered. 

“I... I’d really like that, if you’re sure you don’t mind.” He smiled softly, Frank beaming at him. “I need to get to the airport by eight.” 

“I don’t mind at all, we can go straight there after eating.” Frank smiled, Gerard nodding and feeling his heart flutter in his chest. How could he be this lucky? Why had Frank picked him to do this with?

“So...” Gerard took a deep breath as he forced himself to push down his nerves and pick up a conversation again. He couldn’t think of anything to say except one thing, he just hoped Frank would be okay with it. “What’s err... What’s it like being a porn star?”

Frank smirked softly at the question and chuckled as he picked up his glass, sipping his Pepsi and meeting Gerard’s gaze. At first Gerard was worried he should have kept his mouth shut, but to his surprise Frank seemed to relax at the question.

“I was wondering when you’d ask.” He giggled, putting his drink down and idly drawing patterns on the condensation on the outside of the glass. “No one’s ever managed to go so long without bringing it up.” Frank laughed softly to himself and grinned at Gerard who blushed, opening his mouth to apologise but Frank spoke over him. “No it’s fine, I’m glad you asked.”

Gerard sighed with relief and smiled softly, settling back in his chair opposite Franks as he waited for him to start speaking. He had been trying not to mention the porn thing, not wanting anything to give him away and have Frank realise he was a fan after all, but he was just so curious he couldn’t hold back from asking any longer. 

“Well...” Frank settled back in his own seat and considered what he should say. It was nice being with someone who didn’t know about his career before hand, but Frank did enjoy talking about it. He liked that it made him different to most people. “It’s fun, as you would imagine. But not all the time... It’s not really the glamorous lifestyle people think it is.”

Gerard smiled curiously and picked up his drink, playing with the straw as he watched Frank. “What do you mean?”

“Well... I guess, people have this preconception that being in porn is fantastic, ya know? People think that I go into work and just get naked and have sex, right? But that’s not really it, that’s just a small part of it.” Frank leant his arms on the table and grinned softly at Gerard, pleased to see the man was looking enthralled already. 

“The thing with porn is that it seems like this amazing job, but people forget it’s still a job. I mean, people would think that it’s just loads of fun. Straight guys in particular get really jealous, they think that if they managed to get into the business they could just have sex with gorgeous girls all day long and it’d be amazing, and I admit, when I first started I thought it’d be like that for me too, but with gorgeous men obviously.” Frank chuckled softly, making sure his tone was happy and friendly so it didn’t sound like he was complaining. 

“So... What’s it really like?” Gerard asked curiously. He had to admit, he had thought it was the glamorous kinda thing that Frank had just described, he couldn’t imagine why it wouldn’t be. “Do you have to have sex with ugly people?” He asked softly, certain he had never seen a video where Frank was with an ugly guy but he might’ve missed it. 

“Not at all.” Frank laughed, amused by Gerard’s innocence and smiling fondly when he blushed like usual. “I can turn down any of my offers, that’s entirely up to me. Hell, I could come into work one day, say I’m not feeling it, and walk straight back out and nothing would be held against me. Just... You get paid once you’ve done the video, or photo shoot, or interview or whatever. If you refuse to do it, you don’t get paid. Simple.” Frank paused to take a sip of his drink, Gerard still watching him intently as he continued.

“The thing is, even if you _are_ really in the mood for sex, which most the time I’m not when its work related, it’s not as simple as getting naked and fucking someone.” Frank smiled at how interested Gerard looked, his mouth open as he gazed intently at Frank. “When you do a video, you have to keep stopping and starting because most the time they take photos as well. So, you’ll be thrusting away say, and then all of a sudden you have to pause, rearrange the position a little so it’s better for the camera, have some photos taken, and then you carry on.” 

“I can’t imagine that does much for the pleasure.” Gerard noted, chuckling as Frank did and taking a sip of his drink.

“Mm, not at all.” Frank agreed, smiling as he gazed at Gerard’s gorgeous face, thrilled he could talk about this with him and not have him be creeped out or disgusted like some people were. “To be honest, when you’re having sex on camera, it doesn’t matter how sexy the person you’re doing it with is, you try your best to forget your being watched and just get into it and then all of a sudden you’re interrupted. It’s like when you’re a teenager having sex for the first time and you’re just worried someone might walk in... only this time you _know_ people are going to stop you several times. It’s really hard to get turned on.” 

Gerard laughed along with Frank, though deep down he was surprised. Frank always managed to look so hot on screen, he was always hard and always looked like he was having the time of his life, it was a shock to discover this wasn’t the case.

“So... So when you do your videos, you’re not actually enjoying it?” He clarified, Frank shaking his head as he played with an ice cube in his mouth.

“Mm... I wouldn’t say that.” He mused, sucking on the ice and making Gerard struggle to concentrate. “I do enjoy it for the most part. I mean, I get to have sex with all these gorgeous guys, men who are really experienced and know exactly what to do ya know? But at the same time it can be kinda hard to keep it up sometimes with all the interruptions.” Frank giggled softly and shrugged it off, swallowing down the melted ice. “When I’m on top it’s easier, that’s generally what I prefer to be anyway and I get more aroused that way. And if you don’t cum in the video you know it’s not gonna sell well. When I’m bottom that can be a problem because if you can’t even keep it up, how are you expected to cum?”

“Wow... I didn’t realise there was that much pressure on you.” Gerard breathed, Frank laughing and shoving him gently.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a problem I encounter a lot. Luckily I’m still young and horny enough to be fine.” Frank laughed to himself, Gerard chuckling and smirking slightly. “A lot of people who try to get into the business find its too much pressure though and end up leaving after just a couple videos. I mean... If you don’t feel like having sex then it’s difficult you know? Especially when you’re pushing yourself to do it day after day infront of a ton of people. There’s been a few times when even I’ve had to take Viagra.”

“Really?” Gerard gasped, stunned to think that in some of the videos he had watched Frank’s erection had been a product of a little blue pill. “I thought only old men had to do that...” 

Frank laughed loudly and shoved Gerard before leaning back as the waiter arrived with their food. They paused their conversation whilst he laid their meals infront of them, Frank talking again once he had walked a safe distance away.

“Only old men and porn stars.” Frank winked, Gerard snorting a little as he chuckled around a mouthful of Pepsi. “Like I say though, for me I’ve only had to use it a couple times when I was just really not in the mood. If I’m bottom and not feeling it I don’t have to take Viagra, but I like to anyway, if the bottom isn’t hard in a video then no matter how well they fake their moaning it isn’t gonna sell. People want to believe the actors they’re watching are really enjoying it. If you’re not hard, its kinda obvious you’re not enjoying it.”

“So, do you have to take Viagra with you to every shoot?” Gerard asked softly, he and Frank both tucking into their food. Gerard had to admit, he was slightly devastated to discover that Frank wasn’t loving every video he did like Gerard thought he was. It was understandable though he supposed now he was hearing what it was really like being a porn star.

“Mm, no.” Frank shook his head and swallowed down his mouthful of food, smiling as he looked at Gerard. “Every shoot has a woman there I call the first aider. She’s not technically first aid, but she always brings the important shit like Viagra and condoms and stuff. Most of my stuff is bareback though to be honest, which is a pain cos’ it means I have to go for an STD screening every month.” 

“Really?” Gerard ate his food slowly as Frank talked between bites of his veggie burger, Frank nodding with a shrug.

“Mhmm. Every porn star who does raw shoots has to. We have to bring the results to every shoot to prove we’re clean, and only have sex without condoms with other people we know for a fact are clean. It makes relationships awkward, if I’m with a guy then I have to make sure he wears a rubber, which I’d do anyway ya’ know? But every time I’ve been in a long term relationship and we wanna stop using them I have to have him go and get tested, and then he has to do it every month too. It sucks because it’s like me saying to him I don’t trust him to not cheat on me, but it’s part of my contract.”

Gerard felt his stomach swirl at that and he bit his lip, nodding his understanding.

“I can see why that would be pretty tough.” He nodded, knowing he’d be devastated if a guy he was with made him get tested every month. “But if it’s part of your contract then I’m sure your partner would understand right?” He asked, Frank smiling sadly.

“Well... You’d think so but sadly not. My last boyfriend got really mad about it actually, said I should demand that he not have to take the test every month since I trusted him. I did speak to my boss about it but it’s just not acceptable, they can’t risk any of their actors getting an STD off another actor, and I completely respect that you know?” 

Gerard nodded and smiled sadly, wondering if Frank was still single. He supposed he must be if they were spending the day together, but he knew he shouldn’t assume this was a date or anything so maybe he did have a boyfriend. 

“Well, your boyfriend now must be fine with it, right?” Gerard asked innocently, Frank smirking at him as he ate some of his burger.

“I’m single right now.” He chuckled once he’d swallowed the bite, gazing at Gerard through his lashes. “I wouldn’t be here right now if I wasn’t.” He purred, Gerard staring at him with wide eyes. He didn’t quite know how to respond to that so opted on eating some more food instead, trying to think of a cool response but he came up blank. In the end he just resorted to asking more questions. 

“So are they the only shitty parts about being a porn star?” He asked, blushing at how ridiculous that was. Like Frank needed more reasons to justify his statement that porn wasn’t a glamorous business. But to his relief Frank was happy to continue.

“Mm... They’re the main things. But of course there’s the obvious stuff as well, like having to shave _everywhere_ and having people constantly telling you ways to improve your looks. Oh and then there’s the anal bleaching, that’s always fun.” Frank rolled his eyes to show his sarcasm, Gerard almost choking on his food.

“Whoa, what? Anal _bleaching_?” He squeaked, Frank looking at him for a moment before he burst out laughing. 

“Yeah. You never heard of it?” He sniggered, Gerard shaking his head with a look of horror. “Oh wow, I better explain then before you get the wrong idea.” Frank giggled, Gerard scoffing.

“I think it’s too late for that.” He smirked, his heart fluttering at Frank’s laughter. “Go on, explain.” He chuckled once Frank had calmed down, going back to his food as he listened.

“It’s nothing terrifying. A lot of Salons have started doing it now... You basically go and have your anus bleached, in that, they put this stuff on the outside and it bleaches the colour. Apparently all anuses have to be colourless now, it looks ‘cleaner’ but it doesn’t actually make them any less dirty.” Frank laughed softly, Gerard raising his eyebrows.

“Wow...” He chuckled, Frank smirking at him. “I don’t think I could ever have my anus bleached.” He laughed, Frank laughing with him.

“If I didn’t need to do it for my job I wouldn’t either. Or the waxing... Jesus, getting your balls waxed hurts like a fucking bitch.”

“I can imagine.” Gerard laughed, grinning as he talked to Frank about all the things he had to do to make sure he looked perfect for the cameras. He laughed as Frank complained about having to have his under arms waxed, how it made him feel like a little boy and how he hated the stubble that grew back. Gerard teased him playfully about it, by the time their meals were finished they had talked about nothing but Frank and his job, it somehow making Gerard feel more comfortable. He was able to tease Frank and joke with him, laughing as Frank shoved him at something he said.

Once they had finished their second drink they both ordered a coffee and a dessert to share, the conversation falling to Gerard who smiled and told Frank little about his job. He was fully aware it was nowhere near as interesting as Frank’s but the younger man seemed to be genuinely interested so Gerard enjoying talking to him about it.

The conversation was flowing easily again, the two men getting to know more about each other like they had been doing all day, talking about anything and everything until they felt as if they had known each other for years. When the desert arrived their talk became flirtier as they fooled around, feeding each other spoonfuls of warm cookie dough and Frank even licked a drop of chocolate sauce off Gerard’s palm when a drop fell from the spoon.

Gerard’s cheeks were on fire and it was growing increasingly more difficult to fight off an erection, he felt like a damn teenager but he was having the time of his life. He didn’t want the night to end. 

By the time the two men paid the bill and made their way outside the restaurant it was time for them to get a cab to the airport. Gerard was seriously considering maybe changing his flight again and spending the night with Frank, but he knew that simply wasn’t possible. He had already been talking about how important this next week at work was and he knew he had to get home, he was already making it tight to get to work in the morning. And he had spent too much money this weekend anyway.

The ride to the airport was quiet, Frank still chatted with a bright smile and Gerard still joked around but there were many long silences. Gerard had stopped off at the hotel to get his stuff and now he knew he was leaving for NJ again he just felt miserable. He had had the best weekend of his entire life, and now it was ending.

Frank glanced at Gerard as they travelled in the taxi, noticing the sad tint to his eyes and feeling relieved it wasn’t just him who was feeling kind of devastated that the day was ending. He gently touched Gerard’s hand as they travelled to the airport, smiling as they laced their fingers and glanced at each other. Gerard’s heart skipped a beat and he had to take a deep breath to keep himself composed as he looked at Frank’s beautiful eyes. It was hard to believe that he had spent the last year or two obsessing over this very man... this man that was smiling at him and holding his hand as if they were best friends.

At the airport Frank came inside with Gerard, standing with him as he checked in and then moved to the departure lounge. Frank walked all the way until the security scanners where he couldn’t go any further, Gerard turning to say goodbye to him.

Now that it came to them parting ways Gerard found himself lost for words. He didn’t know what to say or how to express how much of a good time he had had. He was still amazed it had even happened but he needed to come across as someone who wasn’t a fan... this was proving even harder than before.

“Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you.” Frank smiled when Gerard remained silent, the older man nodding sadly. “I had a great time.”

“Me too... Thanks so much for this weekend Frankie I... I really enjoyed it.” Gerard made sure his words sounded as genuine as they were without coming over too strong. He was embarrassed to feel a lump rising in his throat but he managed not to let it show. 

“I’m glad.” Frank smiled softly, gently resting his hands on Gerard’s arms and biting his lip. “It makes a change to find a guy I can just chat with.” He giggled, looking down for a moment. It had been a long time since Frank had found a guy who was both gay and didn’t know who he was. Even longer still since he’d found a guy who wasn’t a jerk. Gerard just ticked all the boxes and Frank didn’t want to see him leave.

“I know the feeling.” Gerard chuckled lamely, though he knew plenty of guys he could chat with... Just none he wanted to spend any real time with... “Will I uh... Will I see you again?” He asked quietly, almost shaking with nerves as Frank looked up at him and smiled.

“You have my number right?” He asked, Gerard nodding. “Then I guess whether we meet again is really down to you.” He grinned cheekily, chuckling at Gerard’s slightly horrified look. Frank knew he was shy, so he decided he’d probably need a little something to assure him Frank wanted to hear from him.

“You better get to your flight.” Frank smiled whilst Gerard was still struggling to come up with a response. “Thanks for the great weekend.” Frank purred, tiptoeing up to gently brush his lips against Gerard’s, pulling back just an inch before leaning close again and kissing him tenderly. 

Gerard felt as if his head was about to explode as Frank’s lips pressed motionlessly to his, it was a chaste, innocent gesture but enough to make Gerard feel ready to pass out. He couldn’t believe Frank was kissing him... But all too soon it was over.

“I’ll be seeing you.” Frank smiled, Gerard watching helplessly as the man of his dreams turned and made his way back through the crowds of approaching people and disappeared out of sight.

xXx

“Wow, you look like shit.” Gerard groaned and scowled up at Brian from where he was laying his head on his desk, Brian currently closing the door to his studio. “Looks like you had a good time in Vegas.” He smirked, Gerard considering flicking him off but he couldn’t summon up the energy.

“Go away.” He groaned, closing his eyes again. He was exhausted and grieving over being away from Frank. His flight had landed early that morning and he had had no choice other than to commute straight to work. He had arrived early and so taken the opportunity to take a quick nap in his studio, but now he was trying to force himself to stay awake in case his boss came in to see him about the meeting. 

“Pfft, good to see you too.” Brian scoffed, a little put out that Gerard didn’t look happy to see him. He was already kind of irritated that Gerard hadn’t text him back all weekend, but he had just assumed he was busy with the bachelor party and stuff. The least he could do now though was show some sort of interest that Brian was here.

“So, did you have a good weekend or not?” Brian sighed, pouting sulkily as he hopped up to sit on Gerard’s desk, swinging his legs and looking down at the top of Gerard’s head, the older man once again resorting to resting his face against the cool wood of his desk.

“It was amazing.” He sighed, his voice muffled as he laid face first on his desk, Brian smiling a little.

“What did you get up to?” He asked, idly brushing his fingers through Gerard’s hair, causing the artist to sit up quickly and subtly brush Brian’s hand away.

“I... Nothing much. I mean... Nothing important.” Gerard blushed and avoided Brian’s gaze, not wanting to tell him about Frank or anything to do with Vegas. It had been his special weekend and he wanted to keep it all to himself.  
Brian waited for Gerard to say something else, but he just remained silent. Brian sighed and rolled his eyes, looking at the dark shadows beneath Gerard’s and frowning.

“I didn’t realise you were even going to be staying the whole weekend. You look exhausted.” He noted, Gerard chuckling hollowly.

“I feel it...” He admitted, rubbing his hands over his face. “Some stuff came up so I had to stay.” He sighed, Brian frowning curiously.

“What stuff?”

“Nothing.” 

“Gee…”

“What?”

“What stuff?”

“I told you, nothing.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“To be honest Bri I’m just too tired right now, okay? I just want to be alone for a bit.” Gerard sighed, his face still hidden by his hands. Brian scowled deeply, his stomach bubbling angrily. He couldn’t believe Gerard was being like this, after his text on the Saturday Brian had thought that everything was going to be much better. But it just seemed to be worse.

“Alright, I’ll leave you alone then.” He scoffed, sliding off the desk and making his way back to the door. He turned to look at Gerard as he stood in the doorway, biting his lip as he felt sadness mingle in with his anger. “We’re still okay for Saturday though right?” He asked softly, Gerard glancing up at him.

“What?”

“Our date...” Gerard blushed when he heard the sadness in Brian’s voice, a tinge of guilt worming inside him. He should never have got the poor man’s hopes up. He sighed as he met Brian’s sad eyes and forced a small smile, nodding. 

“Of course.” He whispered, Brian smiling at him.

“Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow or something.” He nodded, gazing at Gerard for a moment before he turned and left the room without another word.


	5. Chapter five

Gerard gazed out his studio window with a dreamy expression on his face. His cell phone was in his hand, resting against the desktop though Gerard was focussing so little on it, it was in danger of sliding from his fingertips and falling to the floor. Gerard had been planning to text Frank, but two hours later he was still clueless to what he should say. 

He wanted to let him know how much fun he’d had over the weekend... he wanted to thank him properly and maybe meet up again, preferably soon. But Gerard couldn’t think of any way of putting it without sounding creepy or clingy. After all, he had only met Frank for a few minutes on the Saturday and even though they spent the whole of Sunday together, that was still only one day... They weren’t even at ‘friends’ status yet, let alone anything else.

Gerard knew that the only person who would be capable of telling him how to play things cool and yet score a second date would be Brian. But thanks to Gerard’s stupidity asking Brian was completely out of the question unless Gerard wanted to ruthlessly hurt him. He knew that if a guy he liked had agreed to go on a date with him and even pretended to be thrilled about it, then made it clear he liked someone else, he would just be left heartbroken... He knew he needed to find a way to let Brian down gently but he hadn’t figured it out yet, and he really didn’t want to hurt him.

Gerard sighed and turned away from the window to rest his forehead against the top of his desk, closing his eyes as he groaned. It was already the middle of the week and he still hadn’t managed to text Frank, and his date with Brian was looming closer and closer. He hadn’t emailed Mikey back yet, he hadn’t heard back from the board as to whether The Breakfast Monkey was go or not, and he had been completely slacking on all of his work in favour of stalking pictures of Frank on the internet and trying to come to terms with the fact that he had met him. Hell, _kissed_ him. Gerard felt as if his world had just been flipped upside down and he wasn’t sure if it was a bad thing or not.

Gerard sighed and looked at his phone, trying to summon up the courage to text Frank but whenever he opened up a new message he found himself growing panicky at the thought of even _trying_ to write the text and he would give up.

Frank was a famous porn star, he could have anyone. Why would he want Gerard?

Gerard groaned and put his phone down again, almost having a heart attack when it suddenly started vibrating against the desk, the vibrations going through the wood and amplifying the noise. Gerard snatched his phone back up, his heart racing in horror before lurching at the thought that maybe Frank had somehow got his number and was calling him.

Of course, Gerard could never be so lucky.

“Hi Mikes.” Gerard sighed as he answered the call, wincing when Mikey’s sarcastic voice drawled into his ear.

“Oh so you are alive then. Not like I’ve been worried or anything about the fact you haven’t been replying to my emails _or_ texting me back for the past _two weeks_.” 

“Yeah, sorry about that Mikes I meant to –”

“Oh don’t worry about it. I’ve only been worried sick. I’ve been missing lectures, getting behind on assignments, I haven’t even touched my bass for a week. I thought you, my very own brother, had actually died, or been abducted or something. But it’s not important, I’m sure you were must’ve just been really busy right?” Mikey scoffed, Gerard smirking to himself and rolling his eyes fondly.

“Oh come on Mikes, you were that worried about me and you waited until now to call?” He chuckled, an amused look of scepticism on his face as he heard Mikey bite back his own laughter.

“I _was_ worried about you when you didn’t reply to email as quick as you usually do... but I spoke to Grandma and heard you’re like, chasing some boy or whatever so I knew you were fine.” Gerard groaned and rolled his eyes, Mikey’s laughter filtering into his ear. “I thought I’d leave it a while to make sure I didn’t call at a crucial moment,” Mikey’s voice was full of amusement as Gerard scowled. “I figured now would be okay though since you’re at work, and I had a gap between lectures so I figured I’d kill some time.”

“Nice. Thanks Mikes.” Gerard sighed, still frowning to himself. “And for the record I’m not chasing anybody, grandma is over exaggerating again.” 

“So you’re not going on a date with some guy called Brian?”

“Well I... How does she even know that!? I didn’t tell her that!” Gerard squeaked, Mikey laughing loudly down the phone. 

“Well, she said the guy was trying to get into your bed. I figured by now he might have made some headway. When’s the date?” He asked innocently, Gerard scowling as he leant back in his chair and picked up a pen to twiddle between his fingers. He was going to kill Elena. 

“He is not trying to get into my bed.” Gerard scoffed, blushing at how obvious a lie it was, but he wasn’t about to go into details about his sex life – or lack thereof – with his little brother. “And it’s on Saturday, but I’m not exactly excited about it.”

“Well after what Grandma said I figured you probably wouldn’t be. Why’d you agree to go if you’re not interested?” Mikey asked softly, his voice more serious though still slightly amused. Gerard sighed and shrugged, gazing out the window again.

“I dunno... I haven’t been on a date for years and Brian’s really attractive and... ya know, nice enough. I just thought maybe I should give it a shot.” 

“Well that doesn’t sound too bad.” Mikey responded, the sounds of people bustling around in the background making Gerard glance at the clock. It looked as though afternoon lectures had ended. He hoped Mikey’s next lecture wasn’t too soon, now he had him on the phone he remembered how much he missed talking to him. He always told him everything...

“Yeah I guess...” Gerard mumbled, a small silence following before Mikey spoke again, his voice softer this time, completely serious.

“Tell me.” He said gently, Gerard blushing and feeling a ridiculous lump in his throat. Jesus, he was getting far too gay, if just the fact that Mikey still knew him enough to instantly tell when something was wrong was making him teary. 

“Tell you what?” Gerard didn’t know why he was playing dumb, Mikey wouldn’t let him get away with it.

“Tell me about the weather.” Mikey responded sarcastically before snapping at Gerard to ‘tell me what’s wrong, you moron’.

“If you’re not nice to me I’m not telling you anything.” Gerard snapped back sulkily, before telling Mikey everything immediately after before his brother could even open his mouth. Gerard just couldn’t help it, he always told Mikey everything and he just really needed some advice. Mikey never seemed to be the type to know anything about these situations but Gerard knew better than to underestimate his little brother.

Mikey was silent as Gerard told him about going to Las Vegas to a convention. Mikey didn’t know about Gerard’s obsession with porn, or more specifically, Frank; so Gerard just told him he had been going to a Comic con that weekend and that Frank was just a random guy he had met there and got chatting to. Gerard then told him about their date on the Sunday and how much fun he had had, spending a while just gushing over Frank and how amazing he was before concluding with the fact he hadn’t talked to him since and he had sort of made out to Brian that he was super excited for their date. 

Once Gerard had finished talking he took a deep breath and waited for Mikey to respond. His younger brother was quiet for a long moment, clicking his tongue quietly as he thought over everything before he began to speak.

“Well... I think the obvious point to make here was that telling Brian you were really excited for Saturday was a pretty stupid idea.” He said simply, Gerard rolling his eyes with a scowl.

“Yeah thanks for that Mikes, I am aware.” He purred moodily, Mikey chuckling softly.

“Well you can’t take it back now.” He pointed out, Gerard nodding sadly. “If you really don’t want to hurt him or shoot him down in flames or whatever, then just go on this date on Saturday, smile, be happy, have a nice time. I mean shit Gee, you can still have a good time with Brian. Just make it clear at the end of the night that even though you’ve had a lot of fun you think you’re both better off as friends... If it was me I’d ask him out for drinks or something another night but with a group of people, that way he’ll feel like he’s being invited into your life which will make him happy and lessen the blow that you don’t want a relationship.”

“I suppose...” Gerard agreed slowly. It was good advice, but he seriously doubted he would take Brian out for drinks. For a start Gerard had no one else he could invite since he never went out for social drinks with people. He was practically a recluse. He just went to work and then went home and watched porn. 

“And,” Mikey continued, oblivious to the fact Gerard was still sulking. “As far as Frank is concerned, if you want to keep in touch with him and want to meet him again then... Well, not to point out the obvious or anything but... maybe just text him.”

“It’s not that easy.” Gerard pouted, bowing his head and running a hand through his hair as Mikey chuckled softly. 

“Gee, I know you’re a complete social retard but even you can handle sending a text. Just say hi, thanks for the weekend or something. If he’s as great as you say he is then he’ll run with it.” 

“But I _can’t_ Mikes... I want to I just... What if he doesn’t want to hear from me?” Gerard mewled, practically hearing the way Mikey rolled his eyes. 

“Gerard... He took you on a date, gave you his number _and_ kissed you. I may not be an expert on gay relationships but I’m gonna guess that he’s been giving you all the signals that he wants to hear from you.” 

“But Mikey he’s a really popular guy. He could have anyone he wants, why would he want _me?_ ” Gerard whimpered, Mikey scoffing in response.

“For God’s sake Gerard, you like the guy and it seems like he likes you too. Instead of worrying _why_ he likes you, why don’t you just be happy that he does and chase him up? You’ll only regret it if you lose him because you’re too nervous to send him a freaking text.” 

“I know that.” Gerard groaned, resisting the urge to bash his head against the desk. “I just –”

“Gerard – oh, sorry.” Gerard looked up at the young girl in his studio doorway and quickly shook his head, holding his phone away from his mouth.

“Oh, no it’s okay, sorry I’ll just be a second.” He quickly apologised before turning back to his call where Mikey had fallen silent. “Listen Mikes I gotta go, I’ll call you later.”

“You better.” Mikey warned, Gerard chuckling and promising he would before he hung up and turned to smile at the girl looking nervously in at him. He recognised her vaguely from around the building, from what he could gather she was a work experience kid or something. 

“Can I help?” He asked politely, wondering what had brought her to him. 

“Erm... Mr. Snyder is here to see you.” The girl said gently, Gerard’s eyes nearly bugging out of his head. Instantly his heart began to race erratically, his hands growing shaky as he jumped to his feet as if he had been electrocuted. 

“Alright, erm... Now?” Gerard felt himself growing flustered, his problems with Brian and Frankie completely forgotten as he felt himself growing panicked. If Stuart Snyder was here then a decision must have been made on his cartoon, and the fact that the president of the company itself was coming to inform him could only mean one thing... 

“Mhmm. Come with me.” The girl turned and left the room, Gerard stumbling along behind her. He struggled to keep himself composed and appear confident and blasé as he followed her silently down corridors and into an elevator. They said nothing as they rode it up to the top floor, Gerard pushing his hands into his pockets in the hopes to stop his palms from growing clammy. 

The top floor of the building was where all the big dogs worked. Gerard had never been there before and he looked around with amazed eyes at the many cartoon network art work on the walls as he was led to a conference room. His heart felt as if it was trying to drum right out of his chest as the work experience kid left him outside a door and walked away after telling him to go inside.   
Gerard waited a moment to compose before knocking on the door and stepping inside when a voice told him to do so. Standing in the middle of the room was a group of men in suits. Gerard recognised his boss and supervisor, the head of the marketing team, head of the animation team, and then the big guy... The president himself... Stuart Snyder.

“Ah, Gerard! Glad you could make it.” He beamed, thrusting out a hand for Gerard to shake, his fat fingers tightening around Gerard’s palm like a clamp. Gerard forced a nervous smile and mumbled a ‘nice to meet you, sir’ before nodding politely at the others. He felt about ready to throw up, he certainly didn’t feel like taking part in the small talk around him.

“I hope we haven’t interrupted you from anything important. I’m sure you were working hard.” Snyder beamed, scratching his chin and Gerard was momentarily distracted by the large, expensive looking rings on all of his fingers.

“Uh... I was erm... Nothing t – too important.” He mumbled in response, not sure what he should say. He had heard plenty about Stuart Snyder, as everyone who worked here had, but he had never met him before. It was considered a high honour to be in his presence.

“Good, good.” Snyder grinned, looking Gerard up and down. “Well, I’m sure you’d like to know why we’ve brought you here...” 

“Yes sir.” Gerard nodded, biting his lip as he gazed at the man before him. This guy was about to make or break his dream, Gerard only hoped he wasn’t cruel enough to come all this was from the main headquarters in California just to tell him he hadn’t got the cartoon deal.

“Well Gerard, we’re thrilled to tell you that we’ve considered your Breakfast monkey idea and we love it! We want to offer you the opportunity of making a pilot episode and if it goes well we’ll give you a full series contract.”

xXx

By the time Saturday came Gerard felt far too exhausted to go out on a date with Brian. He hoped the younger man would appreciate the fact that he hadn’t cancelled. Hell, he’d even made an effort. Getting his hair styled and buying a whole new outfit before he made his way back into the city to meet Brian outside the Cartoon Network building where Brian would take him to whatever restaurant he’d picked.

Since getting the news that his cartoon was being accepted Gerard had spent the past two days at work doing so much he’d barely had time to think. Things were being pushed forward sickeningly fast and Gerard had been busy meeting the different people who would be involved with making the show, the animators and the marketers and the sound crew. He’d had to show all the artists how he wanted things drawn, the style they needed to replicate and the characterization he was after. 

They had been given a deadline for when the pilot show needed to be aired and Gerard knew that if they were late or unprepared then he could lose his dream forever. Already he was panicking about getting everything finished on time but they had a month yet and the team he was working with were incredible. They just needed to make one episode, Gerard was sure they would have it done in no time.

Gerard sighed and glanced at his watch, wondering where Brian was. He hadn’t had chance to see him at work but they had text each other that morning to confirm they were both still on for the date. Gerard was feeling sick with nerves, but he told himself he deserved to go out and celebrate the good news. He should just enjoy himself... even if it was Brian he was with and not Frankie.

Gerard still hadn’t managed to summon the courage to text the porn star. He told himself he simply hadn’t had the time now he was working so hard, but of course he knew that was ridiculous. He could have text him on the way home from work each night, or even when he got home. It would only have taken him a second, but despite Mikey’s pep talk he just didn’t know what to say. 

He hadn’t even watched any of his porn videos for a week. After meeting him he just couldn’t stand to watch him having sex with other men, or even going solo. Not when he knew now that it was often fake and something he only did because it was his job.

Gerard sighed and stared down the street, spotting someone tall and handsome strolling towards him and he smiled in relief. Brian had finally arrived and Gerard hated to admit it, but he really did look stunning. He smirked as he caught sight of the older man and held his arms out, laughing as he embraced Gerard and pressed a camp kiss to his cheek.

“Hey man! Sorry I’m late, fucking trains suck.” Brian smirked at Gerard as he stepped back and looked him up and down, his eyes sweeping over his body with an approving look. “You’re looking gorgeous tonight Gee, I have to say.”

“Thanks... You’re not too bad yourself.” Gerard blushed, his heart racing a little. He knew he needed to be careful to not, he couldn’t let Brian think that he was more interested in him than he was. He was a little excited to be going out with him, but mostly he just wanted them to end the night as good friends. He wasn’t interested in a relationship... Not when he still had Frank’s number in his phone.

“Shall we get going?” Brian beamed, offering Gerard his hand before leading him down the streets towards the restaurant he had picked. Gerard obediently nestled his palm against Brian’s, but he knew he shouldn’t. He just didn’t know how to politely let the guy down. 

“By the way, congratulations on getting your cartoon. I knew you’d make it.” Brian grinned, and when Gerard looked at him his eyes were sparkling with genuine pleasure, his smile soft and warm unlike his usual seductive smirks. Gerard felt his stomach lurch a little. He wasn’t used to seeing a genuine, friendly side to Brian. Only the playful, sexy side and Gerard wasn’t sure he wanted to see anything more than that. It would just make it even harder to hurt him.

“Thanks...” Gerard sighed, forcing a smile and chatting to Brian about it as they walked together. New York was busy as ever and they squeezed through the crowds managing to hold only minimum conversation. Brian seemed happy enough with that though, clearly ecstatic to be out in public with Gerard’s hand in his, talking to him with such excitement that Gerard felt awful for not returning his feelings. If only he wasn’t so obsessed with Frankie... and since going to the convention Brian just stood no chance. Not now Gerard knew Frank was just as perfect as he had assumed, and maybe even liked him...

“So I picked a Chinese restaurant, I thought ya know... Something different maybe? If you don’t like that though we can go somewhere else.” Brian looked at Gerard with sparkling eyes, beaming when Gerard assured him Chinese was fine. “Awesome. Well it’s just that one up there.” Brian pointed out the building, Gerard nodding as he spotted the Chinese lanterns glowing on either side of the doorway. It looked nice enough.

The two men crossed the street and headed towards the door. Most people walked past it, a few ducked inside, but just as Gerard and Brian arrived someone caught Gerard’s eye and his heart missed a beat. 

“Oh no...” He whispered, Brian glancing at him with worried eyes as the person spotted Gerard too and gasped, charging towards him whilst Gerard’s stomach did flip flops.

“Gerard! Oh my God, hey!” Frank’s grin went from ear to ear as he hurried to Gerard, looking as though he might dive on him and hug him tight but he stopped and hesitated when his eyes landed on Gerard’s hand laced with Brian’s.

“Oh erm...” Frank met Gerard’s gaze with confusion swirling in his eyes, Gerard’s heart racing in horror. He had the sudden urge to blurt out that it wasn’t what it looked like, but it wasn’t as if he was doing anything bad or cheating or something. He had only met Frank once.

“Hi Frankie, what are you doing here?” Gerard forced a casual smile and tried not to look horrified at the sight of the porn star, Brian smiling with gentle curiosity as he looked Frank over. Suddenly a man appeared at his side, his hand resting on Frank’s shoulder making Gerard’s stomach clench up with jealousy. Was Frank on a date too? So soon after their amazing weekend together?

“I’m here for a couple interviews and stuff...” Frank said softly, meeting Gerard’s eyes and Gerard could see behind his smile he was looking wounded. “We were just going out for a bite to eat... Erm, who’s this?” Frank glanced at Brian again who took it upon himself to shake Frank’s hand.

“Hi, I’m Brian. I work with Gerard.” He grinned, Frank smiling warmly at him as Gerard tried to compose himself and think of something to say. “You a friend of his?” 

“Yeah, we met in Las Vegas last weekend.” Frank smiled, ignoring Gerard who opened his mouth before promptly closing it again. “Are you guys eating in here? We could join you, I mean, that’s if you don’t mind.” Frank smiled, Brian glancing at Gerard for his verdict. Gerard knew Brian probably wanted it to be just themselves, but he wasn’t about to turn down Frankie.

“Hm? Oh we don’t mind, do we Bri? Sure, it’d be great to eat with you guys.” Gerard beamed, before glancing nervously at the man still resting his hand on Frank’s shoulder. He was tall and broad, his biceps huge. Gerard got the feeling he could probably crush him in a second. 

“Great, let’s go.” Frank smiled, leading the way into the restaurant. “Oh, and that’s Matt by the way.” He added as if an afterthought, gesturing vaguely at the man with him. Gerard looked at him again and gulped, Matt nodding politely at him and Brian. Brian himself looked fairly astounded too, gawping at the muscular man with eyes as wide as saucers before he turned to frown slightly at Gerard.

Whilst Frank got busy talking to one of the waiters to arrange a table for them all Brian took the moment to secure Gerard’s attention back to himself.

“Hey... I thought tonight was just about us.” He whispered, his disappointment clear in his voice, his face pulled into a scowl as Gerard blushed and bit his lip.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just... He’s my friend, I couldn’t say no.” He whispered, Brian scoffing and rolling his eyes, turning away in a huff. Gerard sighed and touched his hand, wanting to make him happy again.

“Hey... I really am sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” He promised, not sure what possessed him to say it but he instantly regretted it as Brian looked at him with hopeful eyes and smiled. He slipped his arm around Gerard’s waist and whispered ‘can’t wait’ into his ear before following Frank and Matt to a table at the back of the restaurant. 

Frank sat down with a carefully emotionless face, his eyes flicking between Gerard and Brian whilst his stomach swirled with irritation. He hadn’t been expecting to see Gerard tonight, but he certainly wouldn’t have believed he would be seeing him out on a date with another man. He had seemed so sweet and naive in Vegas, Frank hadn’t put him down as the type of person to bounce from one man to the next. He couldn’t believe he had been blown off like this. 

“So... You guys met in Vegas huh?” Brian asked conversationally once the silence had stretched too far. Frank looked at him and nodded, Gerard keeping his head bowed as Frank explained that they had met outside the hotel on the Saturday and then spent the whole of Sunday together. He noted the way Gerard’s cheeks slowly turned more and more pink, Brian turning to slowly scowl at Gerard. 

“Oh... Gerard never mentioned he’d met anyone.” Brian’s voice was soft but Gerard could hear the venom and he slid his chair back with a racing heart. God, he couldn’t handle this, he should have refused to let Frank join them.

“I err... Bathroom.” He said quickly at the confused looks he was getting, telling Brian to just order him whatever before he rushed away from the table and into the tiny restaurant toilets at the other end of the room.

Once inside the small bathroom Gerard stood at the sinks and splashed cold water on his face, taking a deep breath before he leant against the sink and bowed his head. This night was going to be awful, he just wished it could end right now.

He couldn’t believe Frank was here, right here in New York. Shit, right here in the same restaurant. He had been desperate to see him again but not like this, not when he was on a date with Brian. At this rate Frank was going to lose all interest in him by thinking that Brian already had him, and Brian was going to be pissed off about Gerard not telling him that he had met someone else whilst in Vegas. Gerard couldn’t believe things could work out so badly... He just knew that by the end of the night he was going to lose both Frank _and_ Brian and he was actually going to end up dying fat and alone with a million cats.

“Hey...”

“Shit!” Gerard jumped violently and gasped as he spun round to face Frank, the younger man staring at him with wide eyes from the bathroom door. He gave Gerard a ‘are you crazy?’ look before slowly walking across the tiled floor to stand directly infront of him, his face pulling into a small frown, his lips pouting.

“What you doing hiding in here?” He asked softly, Gerard staring at him like a rabbit caught in headlights. His eyes wide and his hands trembling.

“I – I wasn’t hiding.” He giggled nervously, Frank quirking an eyebrow at him.

“You’re a terrible liar.” He scoffed, leaning his weight onto one hip as he crossed his arms. “Listen, don’t get all flustered because I’m here. I’m sorry I’m interrupting your date... to be honest I wasn’t expecting you to agree to letting us join you.” He sighed, bowing his head and scuffing his toe against a mark on the floor. 

“I... I wasn’t expecting you to ask.” Gerard admitted lamely, Frank scowling at him through his eyelashes.

“Do you want us to just leave? We’ve only just ordered our food, we could cancel it and just leave you guys alone.” He offered sulkily, Gerard raising his eyebrows at him and blushing deeply as he realised he was just making the whole situation worse.

“What? No! No, God... I’m sorry I... What I meant was, I wasn’t expecting you to ask but I’m glad you did. I... I wanted to see you again.” He quickly explained, Frank looking at him sceptically. Gerard struggled to hold his gaze, his heart beating so fast he felt sick. The sight of Frank’s gorgeous face was almost too much, especially when he was looking at him with such anger. 

“If you wanted to see me that badly why didn’t you call me?” He asked icily, Gerard biting his lip hard as he mentally beat himself up. He knew he should have messaged him... “You know, this entire past week I’ve been looking at my phone every two minutes hoping you’ll have text or called or something. I’ve been driving everyone nuts.” 

“I wanted to call.” Gerard quickly insisted, Frank scoffing and rolling his eyes.

“Sure.”

“I did!” Gerard whimpered, reaching out to grab one of Frank’s hands, just wanting to make him smile again. “I’ve been trying to text you all week. I... God, I even asked my brother to help me think of what to say but I... I’m really bad with stuff like this. I haven’t had to chase a guy up in years. I’m just... I was afraid you wouldn’t want to hear from me.” He whispered quietly, Frank’s face softening slightly though he looked unconvinced.

“Why would you think that?” He asked sceptically, gazing into Gerard’s eyes. “I told you I wanted to hear from you. I... I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t want to hear from you... Why, after the weekend we had, would you think I wouldn’t want that?”

“I just...” Gerard sighed and shrugged, not sure how to explain. He didn’t want to come across as a socially retarded idiot, even though he was. He wanted to be suave and sexy. He wanted Frank to want him. “I just don’t see why you’d want me when you could have anyone you wanted.”

“Anyone I wanted!?” Frank repeated incredulously, giving a bark like laugh of horror. “You can’t be serious? Why would you even think that?” 

“Well you’re... famous.” Gerard mumbled stupidly, blushing at the way Frank was slowly shaking his head at him.

“Yeah, famous for _porn_. I don’t want any of my fans. I want a guy who wants me because he likes me, not because he’s seen me having sex on camera and thinks it might be fun to try his luck.” Frank scoffed, Gerard blushing even more and feeling a mingling sense of relief and guilt for lying to Frank about knowing who he was.

“Anyway, I obviously can’t have anyone I want if I wanted you and you wouldn’t even text me.” Frank pointed out, quirking his eyebrow at Gerard who was looking at him in utter horror.

“I... I’m sorry. Frank I really am, I... I swear I wanted to call you. I thought maybe I would do it tomorrow or something I just... God. I’m just useless.” He whined, desperately trying to think of something he could say that would make everything better. He couldn’t lose this chance with Frank, he’d never forgive himself.

“If you wanted to see me again so much why are you on a date with that guy?” Frank continued, gesturing vaguely at the door to indicate Brian outside in the restaurant. “I mean, I’m not mad. It’s not like we’re going out or anything, see whoever you like, I don’t care.” He added, his jealousy obvious despite how he was trying to deny it. “I just... if I want a specific guy I stop dating until I get him.”

“But... you’re on a date too.” Gerard pointed out, finding it a little unfair that Frank was complaining at him about being on a date when he had a drop dead gorgeous hunk right outside too. “Brian asked me on this date before I even went to Vegas, I’ve been trying to think of a way to let him down gently, but he’s insistent. Every time I push him away he comes on stronger, it’s been killing me.” He sighed, Frank’s lips twitching a little as if he was trying not to smile.

“Really?” He asked softly, biting back a giggle. “Well... I guess I should be grateful to him. If you weren’t out with him tonight we might never have met again.” He sighed, finally relaxing and smiling as Gerard gazed at him in slight surprise.

“I guess...”

“And for the record, I’m not on a date. Matt is my agent, he’s been taking me to my interviews and helping arrange a few shoots around here.” Frank shrugged, chuckling at the way Gerard’s fading blush intensified again. 

“Oh...” Gerard mumbled, suddenly feeling extremely stupid. He was making an idiot out of himself and there was no way Frank was going to ever find him seductive now. “I’m sorry...” He sighed, not knowing what else to say. 

Frank chuckled softly and shook his head, smiling curiously at Gerard. He didn’t know why he liked the guy so much. Frank could be spoilt at times, and he had to admit he’d spent his week sulking when Gerard hadn’t contacted him. No one he’d given his number to had failed to contact him before, he had really thought Gerard just wasn’t interested. It was a relief to find he was, despite the fact the man was clearly a social idiot and completely oblivious to how gorgeous he was. Frank supposed it was kind of endearing though...

“Listen, do you really not want to be on a date with this guy?” Frank sighed, referring to Brian. Gerard looked at the younger man with slightly confused eyes, shrugging vaguely.

“I... Not really. I mean, I’m sure we could be great friends but... Well... He’s not who I want.” He mumbled shyly, Frank smiling as he stepped closer to Gerard, draping his arms around his neck. Gerard almost forgot to breathe as the scent of Frank’s cologne intoxicated him, his playful hazel eyes making his head spin.

“Do you want me to help him get the point he doesn’t stand a chance?” Frank asked innocently, Gerard opening his mouth to reply only to find he didn’t really know how to answer that. He supposed it all depended on what Frank was planning to do.

“Well err... Yes?” He shrugged, Frank chuckling at his uncertainty and leaning closer. Gerard felt his head spin faster, making him feel certain he was going to faint. Even Frank’s heart was racing as he leant in close, his breath sailing over Gerard’s lips.

“Mm... Trust me.” He whispered, Gerard’s breathing growing heavy and his eyes almost closing. “And next time I say I want you to contact me, fucking do it okay?” Frank added before closing the gap and pressing his lips gently to Gerard’s.

Gerard felt like he was going to faint as he pouted against Frank’s lips, his heart having palpitations as he nervously laid his hands on Frank’s waist and kissed him tenderly, the door opening causing them both to jump and pull back. Gerard was blushing furiously but Frank just smiled cheekily at Matt who was quirking an eyebrow at them from the doorway.

“Erm... Brian’s wondering where you are.” He said softly to Gerard, the older man nodding quickly and rubbing the back of his neck. His heart was going mad in his chest but Frank looked calm as anything as he nodded and gestured for Gerard to follow him.

“Alright, we’re coming.” He smiled, holding the door open for Gerard to walk past him, playfully squeezing his ass as he walked by, causing Gerard to squeak and jump, blushing furiously as Frank walked past with laughter he was failing to stifle.


	6. Chapter six

Gerard returned to the table with a sheepish smile, Brian staring at him with a mixture of concern and irritation. Gerard took his seat beside him with a soft apology for being gone so long, Brian sliding Gerard’s drink over to him with a small frown.

“Is everything alright?” He asked quietly, Gerard nodding quickly as Frank sat opposite him with a playful grin on his face. His eyes were sparkling with mischief and Gerard couldn’t help but feel nervous. What was that man planning?

“What were you and Frank talking about?” Brian pushed, his voice lowered so that Frank wouldn’t hear but Gerard only shrugged off the question and took a sip of his drink. 

“Has the food been ordered?” 

“Yep. I got you the chef special, I’ve been here loads so I know it’s good.” Matt smiled, answering Gerard’s question before Brian could try and steal his attention again. Matt was a good friend of Frank’s and he knew him well enough to know he wasn’t the kind of guy to steal another man’s boyfriend. Or potential boyfriend... As much as he felt bad for Brian who was obviously trying to get with Gerard, he knew Frank would leave them to it if he thought the guy stood any sort of chance.

Matt was good at reading people and he could tell Gerard was feeling a little uncomfortable around Brian. He was obviously incapable of telling the poor guy that he wasn’t interested, and Brian apparently wasn’t taking the hint. Frank had been talking about Gerard all week so Matt knew he was interested in him, and from what he had seen in the bathroom it was now clear Gerard felt the same. Clearly if Brian could be tempted away then all would be well, and Matt was sure he would be able to think of something to get the dark haired beauty away from Frank and Gerard.

“So, Brian... You work with Gerard?” Matt asked conversationally as he took the bottle of wine from the centre of the table and topped up Brian’s glass for him. Brian was still scowling at Gerard when Matt spoke, but eventually he managed to force himself to turn and look at Matt. 

“Uhuh... I’m an artist for Cartoon Network.” He said softly, his tone a little sulky. Gerard glanced apologetically at him, really not wanting to upset him but as Matt started to ask him questions about the kind of work he did and sucked him into a friendly conversation Gerard found himself being distracted by Frank.

Frank knew that Matt was working to secure Brian’s attention, and he was grateful to him. He could always rely on Matt, he wasn’t just his agent, he was his best friend and Frank grinned as he slowly slid his foot across the floor to nudge against Gerard’s. The older man was concentrating mostly on Brian and that simply wasn’t good enough for Frank. He wanted him looking at him.

Gerard jumped when he felt Frank’s foot rub alongside his own, it clearly not an accident. He looked away from Brian and met Frank’s gaze with wide eyes as the younger man grinned playfully at him, his foot starting to slide up the back of Gerard’s leg.

Gerard felt his breath stutter and he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from demanding to know what Frank was doing. He shuddered involuntarily as Frank slowed his foot right down, sliding it back down Gerard’s calf before sliding back up again. Gerard stared at Frank with doe eyes as he pulled his leg back, hoping it would take it out of Frank’s reach.

“-Because I’m new still I’m just working on old character designs, but just a few more months and maybe I’ll get to help with the designs for new characters.” Brian seemed to be relaxing now, and he smiled sweetly at Matt as he took a sip of his wine. “Who knows, in the time it’ll take to sort the pilot episode and then get the ratings for Gerard’s cartoon I might be allowed on the team on that when it goes into full production.” Brian looked hopefully at Gerard, quirking an eyebrow when he saw the older man was looking a little flushed.

“Oh wow, that’d be fantastic. You should put in a good word for him.” Frank beamed at Gerard, Brian’s gaze optimistic as Gerard took a long swig of his soda and nodded slowly.

“Mm... Mhmm... Definitely.” He mumbled around his glass, hoping his voice wasn’t rising in pitch as Frank’s foot continued to glide up his leg. Gerard tried to subtly shake him away as Brian continued to gaze at him, Frank’s face carefully emotionless.

“Wow, so you have your own cartoon Gerard?” Matt asked with a smile, wondering what was making the guy look so heated as he nodded timidly, guzzling down his soda like it was going out of fashion. “What’s it called?”

“Err, The Breakfast Monkey.” Gerard coughed, putting his cup down and trying to appear calm and casual as Frank’s foot crept up higher. It didn’t even feel like he was wearing his shoes anymore. Had he kicked them off? That was just insane. “It’s err... Still in the production stages.” Gerard squeaked, jumping slightly when Frank’s foot swept over the back of his knee, tickling him through his jeans.

“Oh... Sounds...” Matt didn’t finish his sentence, instead just looked curiously at Gerard as Brian quirked an eyebrow.

“Are you okay Gee?” He asked softly, touching his hand gently and making Gerard jolt as if he had been electrocuted. Frank’s foot suddenly disappeared, the younger man having to sip his drink to stop himself from laughing loudly. He had never done this before but it was a lot of fun, he was loving making Gerard squirm.

“I’m fine.” Gerard sighed, visibly relaxing. He was relieved that Frank had stopped, he was finally able to think straight again. He turned to look at Matt and Brian properly and smiled softly, Brian relaxing too when he saw Gerard seemed okay again. 

“So, tell me more about The Breakfast Monkey?” Matt asked politely, Gerard nodding and starting to explain how the whole thing had come about. Brian contributed to the conversation too, adding little anecdotes about how good the cartoon was and how talented Gerard was, all the time sipping his wine and gazing with equal intensity at both Gerard and Matt. 

Frank behaved himself for a moment, smiling as he listened to the men talk and watched what was going on between Matt and Brian. Every time their eyes met Brian seemed to look shocked for a second before he would look back at Gerard as if nothing had happened, and Matt would smile smoothly and sip his wine with a sparkling look in his eyes. Frank had never really seen Matt look interested in anyone... He’d always kind of assumed he was asexual or something, but he was pretty certain the way he was looking at Brian was with interest.

Frank gazed at Gerard as he chatted brightly about his cartoon, the conversation moving smoothly onto other topics as they waited for their food to arrive. Gerard had relaxed fully by now, clearly not expecting Frank to start fooling around again. Frank grinned inwardly as he slipped his shoe off again, going to move his foot when he was interrupted by the waiter arriving with their food.

All of the men stopped talking and leaned back as their plates were put down in front of them. After politely thanking the young man they turned to their food, Matt smiling as he picked up his chop sticks and met Brian’s gaze. 

“You know how to use these?” He asked softly, Brian giggling and shaking his head. Gerard looked over at the two men in slight surprise as Matt leant across the table to help Brian pick up the chopsticks the right way, teaching him how to hold and use them whilst Frank picked up his own with practiced ease.

“Mm... This is smells delicious.” Brian grinned once he’d managed to balance the chopsticks against his thumb and forefinger. He glanced at Gerard to see if he was okay with what they had chosen for him, smiling warmly as Gerard assured him it looked delicious. 

“I haven’t had Chinese in ages.” He commented as he began to eat with his own chopsticks, Brian watching him carefully for a moment before he attempted to do the same. He attempted to pick up a piece of chicken but it slid from between his chopsticks and landed back on his plate. 

“Man...” Brian groaned, looking up to see Matt eating his own food with ease, his eyes twinkling as he met Brian’s. “How can you do that?” He laughed, Matt leaning forward to help him again. 

Gerard watched with a bemused expression, half surprised and half thrilled to see Matt and Brian getting along so well. Brian seemed to forget that Gerard was even there which suited him just fine. He watched with curious eyes as Brian actually blushed as Matt helped him, Gerard half certain he must be imagining it. Brian didn’t _blush_ , Brian _seduced_. How could it be that in just one short hour he was already melting like a teenage girl? Gerard had never seen anything like it.

“Mm... So Gerard, I’m in New York for the next few days, we should hang out.” Frank smiled, glancing at Matt and Brian for a moment before smiling sweetly at Gerard. Gerard met his gaze with a surprised smile that slowly spread into a grin, his heart fluttering.

“I’d like that.” He nodded, trying not to come across as over enthusiastic what with Brian still sat right next to him. Though it looked like Matt might be able to take Brian off Gerard’s hands.

Frank beamed at Gerard and nodded, eating some of his food and chatting conversationally to him about nothing in particular whilst he bided his time. Once Matt and Brian had finally managed to tear their gazes off each other and join Frank and Gerard’s conversation the youngest man got busy torturing the artist again.

Gerard smiled as he spoke to Matt about comic books, his words suddenly spiking in pitch as his body jolted. Beneath the table Frank’s foot was once again climbing up his leg, Gerard’s heart rising with it. Brian looked at Gerard in confusion, his eyebrows raised as Gerard stuttered. His cheeks were flaming and his eyes were wide with horror, Matt looking slightly alarmed at the sudden change.

“Are you okay?” He asked quickly, Gerard forcing himself to take a deep breath and crack a pained smile as he nodded.

“Absolutely fine. Erm... Just, food was hot.” He lied quickly, shovelling another pile of rice into his mouth using his chopsticks whilst Frank struggled to hold back laughter. He had halted his foot against the back of Gerard’s knee, his eyes twinkling. This was just too fun. 

Brian looked at Gerard with concern, noticing that the older man was looking incredibly flustered. It was like he was having a hot flash, but Brian thought only women had those when they were going through the menopause.

“So erm... You were saying about Alan Moore?” Brian asked gently, reminding Gerard he hadn’t finished what he had been saying. Gerard looked horrified for a second, Frank’s foot starting to creep further upwards. He tried to kick him away without jolting the table. If Brian found out what was going on beneath the table cloth he’d have a fit. 

“Em... Yes. Err, Alan Moore.” Gerard released a hysterical giggle as Frank’s toes nudged his inner thigh. His head grow hot and sweat dripped down his back. He was completely incapable of keeping his body under control around Frank, and the pressure of trying to do so infront of a restaurant full of people was making it even harder. _What was Frank doing_

“You were saying you met him?” Matt pushed, gazing at Gerard with worried eyes. Something was clearly not right, but he couldn’t imagine what it could be. Well... Actually he could imagine, but he didn’t want to. He knew Frank was a playful kind of guy but he hoped he wouldn’t be causing Gerard such discomfort in the middle of a public place.

“Y – Yes, I met him. I... He... He was at a erm... at a m – meeting.” Gerard choked, Frank watching him innocently as he took a sip of water. His foot had stilled against Gerard’s inner thigh but he was wiggling his toes to warn him that he wasn’t through yet. The thought of how much further he might go was making Gerard’s head spin. He really couldn’t handle this.

“Didn’t he sign a piece of original artwork for you?” Brian smiled, trying to pretend as if it wasn’t obvious there was something wrong with Gerard. He glanced at Frank curiously but the younger man was looking innocently at Gerard, his eyebrows raised questioningly. Whatever was happening to the older man Brian didn’t suspect that Frank was the cause.

Gerard nodded shakily as he struggled to pick up some more food. His hands were trembling and he ached for some alcohol. He wouldn’t have this problem if he was drunk. Stone cold sober though everything Frank did was shooting sparks up his spine. He had fantasised about Frank so many times, in so many situations, to have him doing this to him was too much for his fragile mind to take. 

“Mhmm... He was a cool guy...” He managed to say with relative clarity, Matt chuckling as he ate some more food. 

“Yeah? I hear he’s bat shit crazy.” He said innocently, Gerard shrugging and managing to balance a small pile of rice between his chopsticks.

“Well... Some of the smartest men in the world are cra – agh!” The rice Gerard had been rising to his mouth suddenly fell from his chopsticks as his hand jolted, his body burning at a fever pitch as Frank’s foot moved up and pressed against his crotch. 

“Gerard!?” Brian asked alarmed as Gerard shuddered and dropped his chopsticks onto his plate, his whole body red all over. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look sick.” Brian whimpered with concern, Gerard refusing to meet Brian’s gaze as he glared at Frank over the table.

“He’s right Gee, you don’t look too good.” Frank nodded, Matt murmuring his agreement. Gerard swallowed thickly as sweat beaded against his temples, Frank’s foot starting to rub against his crotch.

“O – Oh!” Gerard gasped, clamping his legs shut on instinct. Frank gasped and squeaked as Gerard trapped his foot in a vice like grip, Brian jumping in surprise and staring at Frank in confusion as the youngest man started to giggle with his hand over his mouth.

“What on earth is going on?” Brian demanded, Frank forcing his laughter back as he tried to yank his foot from between Gerard’s legs but the older man was unrelenting. He wasn’t about to release Frank only to be tortured all over again.

“You know what? I am feeling kinda ill.” He choked, looking at Brian with wide eyes, his face still beet red. “I think I might need to just call it a night.” 

“Oh.” The disappointment was clear in Brian’s voice but he forced a smile and gently took hold of Gerard’s hand. “Do you want me to help you home? You do look really bad.” He consented, Gerard blushing harder at that. Not sure whether to be offended or not. 

“N – No, it’s fine. You should stay here and finish your meal.” He forced a smile, Brian frowning.

“I’ll worry about you if you go alone.” He mewled, Frank sitting up properly now he had managed to wrestle his foot from Gerard’s grip. He slipped his shoe back on beneath the table and grabbed his jacket.

“I’ve already finished my food, I’ll take him.” He offered brightly, Brian frowning at him. “You and Matt stay and finish your meal. You guys were getting along great anyway.” Frank purred sweetly, Brian blushing a little at that and peeking at Matt from the corner of his eyes. The muscled man was still looking curiously at Gerard but once he realised what had been said he jumped to attention.

“Oh! God, of course, you take Gerard Frank, me and Bri will be fine.” He said quickly, smiling seductively at Brian who looked positively stunned. “I know a great club not far from here, we could go out dancing later?” He suggested, Brian’s lips parting in surprise before he slowly turned his head to look at Gerard who was getting out of his seat.

“Well I... But... Gerard are you sure you don’t mind?” He asked uncertainly. It was painfully obvious that Frank was after Gerard, and Brian had spent months trying to secure this date. But then if Gerard was sick he should go home and be comfortable, and if Frank had only known him a week Brian seriously doubted he’d manage to seduce the elusive man.

“Course I’m sure.” Gerard smiled in response to Brian’s question, leaning down to peck his cheek. “Thank you for dinner. You should stay with Matt and go dancing, at least then you won’t have had a completely wasted evening.” He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. 

Brian didn’t look convinced still but he sighed and nodded his consent, Frank beaming as he put some money on the table for his and Gerard’s meals before taking hold of the older man’s elbow.

“Come on then Gerard, let’s get you home.” He said innocently, Gerard scowling at him as he allowed himself to be escorted from the restaurant. Brian watched him go with a wistful gaze, his lips pulling into a disappointed pout before Matt softly nudged his hand.

“Don’t worry about him, he’ll be fine.” He said gently, gazing at Brian through his lashes and the shorter man couldn’t stop the breath that hitched in his throat. Well... If he had to lose his date for the night then he should at least be grateful he was left with someone equally, if not even better looking. 

Outside the restaurant Gerard was storming down the crowded New York streets as he yanked on his jacket. Now that he was out in the cool night air he was finally able to get his head straight. Slowly but surely he was filled with a painful embarrassment. He couldn’t believe he had acted like that in the restaurant. He couldn’t believe he had found it so hard to ignore Frank’s teasing.

“Gerard, hey! Wait up!” Frank called, jogging to keep up with the older man. He grabbed his wrist to force him to slow down once he reached him, smirking slightly as Gerard slowed his pace with an irritated sigh. “Are you angry at me?” He asked curiously, having to force himself to not giggle.

“No... Yes... I... I don’t know.” Gerard snapped, shrugging out of Frank’s grip though he didn’t pull away when Frank grabbed his hand instead. “I can’t believe you did that in there, do you have any idea how embarrassing that was!?” He demanded, strolling down the streets in search of somewhere less crowded. He felt flustered and claustrophobic, only Frank’s hand linked with his making him feel a little better.

“I’m sorry,” Frank giggled, trying hard to appear sympathetic. “I just couldn’t help myself. I was getting revenge on you for not contacting me all week.” He smirked, Gerard looking at him in horror, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to say something but instead he just settled on a moody puff of air. 

“That’s what that was all about!? Frank that wasn’t fair, I was embarrassed! ”He whined, Frank giggling softly though he gave Gerard’s hand an apologetic squeeze.

“I know. I really am sorry, you just look so cute when you get all flustered. Anyway, it worked out well didn’t it? I got you away from that guy.” He winked, Gerard frowning slightly.

“Brian? I feel bad for abandoning him.” He sighed, Frank scoffing as he allowed Gerard to tug him down a side street and start making their way towards Central Park. 

“I wouldn’t. He and Matt will probably end up giving each other a better night than either of them would have had with us around.” He pointed out, Gerard blushing at that. He slowed his walk down even more and glanced at Frank from the corner of his eyes.

“You saw that too huh?” He asked softly. It had been hard to tell in the restaurant if the spark between Matt and Brian was real or just a figment of Gerard’s imagination, it could have just been a product of Frank’s foot working up his leg. 

“A blind man could have seen it.” Frank scoffed, rolling his eyes though deep down he was thrilled. At least it meant Brian was no longer a threat. Frank may not have known Gerard long but it was achingly clear that the guy had no idea how good looking he was. He seemed oblivious to the hungry stares people threw at him in the street, immune to shameless flirting that happened around him. It was any wonder he hadn’t been raped.

“Mm... Well, even so, don’t think this means I forgive you.” Gerard shrugged, though his tone was playful. He felt much better now they were out of the crowds. He laced his fingers with Frank’s as they strolled into Central Park, the cool breeze helping Gerard come down from his heated state. If he was going to be seeing more of Frank he was seriously going to have to learn how to cope with that kind of thing.

“Really?” Frank sighed, feigning sadness as he glanced at Gerard. “Not even I make it up to you?” He mewled, coming to a slow halt beneath the light of a streetlamp that cast shadows through the trees. Gerard stopped too, turning to look at Frank in slight confusion.

“How would you make it up to me?” He asked curiously, Frank grinning slowly at him. 

“However you like.” He purred, tiptoeing up to drape his arms around Gerard’s neck. He leant close to him, their lips close and instantly Gerard’s head began to fill with that delicious fog again. He was really beginning to crave Frank’s kisses. “What would you like Gerard?” Frank whispered softly, his lips so close Gerard could almost feel them.

“I... I’d like you to kiss me...” He whispered back, his voice shaking slightly as he laid his hands on Frank’s waist. The younger man chuckled softly, his heart fluttering at the almost innocent request. 

“I could give you so much more than that.” He breathed, his lips tingling as he ached to close the gap. “Anything you want...”

“I... I just... I just want a kiss.” Gerard responded. He was finding it hard to think straight, the only thing his mind could summon up was _kiss him and kiss him now_. He couldn’t think beyond that, couldn’t imagine what other things he could have other than Frank’s lips on his own. “Please?”

Frank smiled softly and almost melted as he stepped forward and gently pressed his lips to Gerard’s. Instantly all coherence disappeared from his mind as he moulded his body against Gerard’s. It was strange to kiss a man without it being part of a porn shoot or with the promise of giving more. Gerard was the first person to ever ask Frank for just a simple kiss, especially when Frank had practically offered him everything else on a plate. It was nice though... Refreshing. Frank felt a ridiculous urge to cry he was just so relieved, so touched that Gerard was like this, amazed he had actually found someone so... Perfect.

Gerard’s eyes fluttered closed as he wrapped his arms snug around Frank’s waist and held him closer. Their bodies pressed tight as they kissed with slow, hesitant passion. It wasn’t like the other kisses they had shared. Those had been quick, short, heated... This was delicate, smooth... It felt like it could last forever and still never long enough. Gerard’s head was on fire, his skin prickling with a static charge as he worked his lips slowly against Frank’s. He couldn’t believe he was kissing him like this, but in that second... with his eyes closed and his heart racing... It didn’t feel like the amazement of kissing his favourite porn star. It didn’t feel like the excitement of kissing the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. It felt like the simple, electric pleasure of kissing someone who fits you just right, who makes you feel things deep in your belly that aren’t sexual but aren’t entirely chaste. It was all the feeling’s Gerard had believed were only a part of fairy tales, and his head swam with the wonder that they could be real.

Frank sighed and wrapped his arms tighter around Gerard’s neck, his fingers slipping into his silky hair as their lips moved. Frank couldn’t remember the last time he’d been kissed so nicely and he mewled in quiet desire. He wanted nothing more than to drag Gerard to his hotel room and throw him down on the bed to have his wicked way with him.

“Hey!” Frank and Gerard jumped when a voice suddenly forced them apart, Gerard’s cheeks blazing as they came face to face with a man in a police uniform. Gerard pressed closer to Frank, the younger man gazing calmly at the cop. 

“Yes?”

“This is a public area, you shouldn’t be doing that.” The man snapped, Frank raising an eyebrow coolly as Gerard bit his lip. His heart was racing and his face had gone bright red, horrified to have been caught making out by a cop.

“S – Sorry we –”

“Hey, don’t apologise.” Frank interrupted, scowling at the man. “It's late man, it’s not like any kids are gonna be around. Would you have stopped us if we were straight?” He demanded, the cop scowling back at him as Gerard’s stomach swirled.

“Don’t Frank.” He whimpered, but the shorter man only held up a hand to quieten him.

“No! I’m not gonna get accosted by some guy who’s clearly a homophobe.” Frank snapped, the cop looking shocked for a moment before he frowned again. 

“I’m not a homophobe.” The older man scowled, folding his arms. “I’m asking you politely to refrain from doing that in a public place.” He said slowly and clearly, Gerard feeling hideously embarrassed but Frank only smirked. 

“Because we’re gay? You think we’re gonna start fucking in the trees?” He asked innocently, the cop rolling his eyes. 

“Listen, I’m off duty, I’m just asking you because I know if an on duty cop comes by here he’d tell you the same thing and that mouth of yours would probably get you both arrested.” He said coldly, looking at Gerard’s horrified face and softening a little. “Just go on home boys.” He ordered before walking away, Frank rolling his eyes but Gerard was relieved when he didn’t try to say anything else.

“Geez Frank.” Gerard breathed once the cop had disappeared down the path, Gerard taking a deep breath and running his hand through his hair. “I didn’t realise you had such an attitude.” He groaned, Frank looking at him with a small smirk though he felt a twinge of worry that maybe Gerard wouldn’t like him so much now.

“Sorry, I just don’t appreciate getting interrupted.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly before he stepped close to Gerard again. “I’ll behave better.” He purred, gently pecking Gerard’s lips and feeling a thrilled tingle in his belly when the older man melted instantly against him.

“Mm... You better.” Gerard smirked, kissing Frank delicately for a moment before he pulled back and gazed into his eyes. “We better get going anyway.” He sighed, Frank tilting his head to the side.

“Going?” He mewled, he didn’t want the night to end yet, it was only just beginning. “Like... Back to my hotel?” He asked, grinning playfully at Gerard who chuckled softly. He’d love to go back with Frank, but he was exhausted from a week hard at work and he wanted his own home and his own bed. But to say no to Frank would be utter madness.

“Well... I guess... Or... Or you could come back to mine?” Gerard offered quietly, Frank looking at him in surprise for a minute before a slow grin split his features.

“Really? You wouldn’t mind?” He beamed, the thought of getting to see Gerard’s home just too good to resist. He’d much rather have his wicked way with him in a soft bed that smelt like Gerard rather than in an impersonal hotel room. And Frank couldn’t help but fantasise about all the things they could do tonight.

“Of course not.” Gerard chuckled in response to Frank’s question, taking his hand and slowly lacing their fingers. The thought of taking Frank home with him made his head spin, all the times he’d dreamt of having him in his bed and now it could actually be happening. Gerard didn’t believe they’d end up having sex, but just the promise of maybe a few more kisses was good enough for him to take Frank with him to his apartment. 

“Then I’d love to.” Frank smiled, grinning widely and practically skipping with Gerard out of Central Park so that they could make their way to New Jersey where Gerard’s flat and double bed was waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone who has commented on this so far. I usually try to respond to every comment, but I have around seven weeks left to complete my final year dissertation and so its proving something of a challenge just to keep editing and putting these chapters up here whilst keeping on top of my work. I just want to make it clear I appreciate every single comment I've received (and hopefully will receive) even though I haven't had chance to reply yet.   
> So, thanks guys! xo


	7. Chapter Seven

“So this is the famous Moore illustration?” Frank smirked as he stepped up to the wall in Gerard’s living room, getting a close look at the hand drawn and hand signed picture that Gerard treasured so much. “It’s cool.” Frank smiled, tracing one of the inked lines before turning to watch Gerard walk through from the kitchen with a glass of wine for each of them.

“Thanks...” Gerard smiled shyly as he handed one of the glasses to Frank, laughing a little when Frank clinked his glass to Gerard’s. Now that he had him in his apartment Gerard felt more nervous than ever. He had fantasised plenty of times about having Frank in his home, but now he was here he wasn’t sure how to react. His mind was in turmoil, trying to wrap itself around the fact that Frank was here. _Really_ here, right in front of him. Looking at his Alan Moore drawing and drinking wine.  
“You have a real nice place here... I didn’t know there were any nice apartments in Jersey.” Frank smirked, Gerard flashing his lopsided grin at him as he shrugged and sipped his wine, hoping it would give him some courage. Frank tipped his head slightly to the side, giggling when he saw how nervous Gerard was and he gently reached out to take his hand and drew him to the sofa.

“You’re sure I’m not intruding, right?” He asked softly, smiling warmly to show he wouldn’t mind if Gerard wanted him to leave. Frank had never met a guy like Gerard before and he wanted whatever was going on between them to work out. “I can leave?”

“What? No! No, God, I don’t want you to leave.” Gerard quickly protested, turning so that he was facing Frank as the younger man did the same. Their eyes locked and Gerard felt his head spin and tingle as if a hot towel had been dropped over it. Frank’s hazel eyes were truly beautiful and he ached to kiss him again. His mind kept flicking back to the way Frank looked on his computer screen, naked and seductive whilst having sex for camera’s... it was making it exceptionally hard for Gerard to concentrate.

“Good.” Frank grinned, putting his wine down before taking Gerard’s glass and putting that down too. “You know I really like you.” He grinned, his easy confidence making Gerard feel even more hopeless as Frank got to his knees and crawled up Gerard’s body, his hands sliding up his chest and making Gerard shiver. He needed to compose, he wanted to be seductive too, not nervous and skittish like a virgin.

“I like you too...” He whispered, blushing as Frank gazed at him with smouldering eyes. God, if only Frank knew just how much he liked him. 

“Yeah? I’m glad to hear it.” Frank giggled, slipping his arms around Gerard’s neck and closing the gap between them to kiss him. 

Frank smiled against Gerard’s lips when he felt him shiver and hesitate a moment before kissing him back with clear eagerness. He was so obviously shy, but Frank found it adorable. It was so much different to other guys Frank had been with, but that just made it even more exciting. Maybe Gerard could really end up something special, already Frank could feel a great spark between them and he got the feeling it wasn’t just lust. He hoped he was right, he’d wanted a boyfriend – a real one, who didn’t just want him for sex – for a long time.

“Mmm...” Frank tangled his hands into Gerard’s hair and tugged gently, causing Gerard to gasp into his mouth. _Oh, he likes that_. Frank smirked inwardly and kissed Gerard deeper, sucking on his lips and weaving his fingers deeper through his ebony locks to grasp at the silky tresses at the back of his neck. He swiped his tongue along Gerard’s lower lip and tugged hard on his hair, Gerard’s lips parting in a mixture of shock and pleasure and Frank was free to push his tongue in against his. 

“Mmnngh...” Gerard’s head span violently as Frank’s tongue rubbed over his and shared the taste of wine, his hands stroking and pulling through Gerard’s hair and making is jeans tighten. Gerard couldn’t remember the last time he had been kissed like this and he groaned his delight as his hands slipped down to rest on Frank’s hips. He was tempted to move them further and feel that gorgeously pert ass but he was too shy. 

Frank smiled as he kissed Gerard, drawing his tongue back to kiss him without for a while. It felt so good to just kiss, though somewhat strange. Gerard kept his hands still, and though Frank found it endearing that he wasn’t all over him like other guys would be, he did feel a little anxious that maybe Gerard wasn’t feeling this as much as Frank was.

“Mm... You can touch me ya know...” Frank whispered huskily, pressing tender, butterfly kisses to Gerard’s lips as he slowed his hands down, releasing Gerard’s hair and simply resting his hands on the back of his neck for a moment. 

Gerard chuckled shyly and leant forward to kiss Frank deeply again, his cheeks blushing red as he nervously moved one hand away from Frank’s hip and up his back instead. Frank smiled and leant closer to Gerard, kissing him passionately and playing with the ends of his hair as Gerard felt up his back with just the very tips of his fingers. He was like a nervous teenager, it was cute, but Frank wanted him to feel relaxed. 

“Mmm... Are you okay?” He whispered, Gerard blushing deeper and nodding quickly.

“Course...” He mewled back against Frank’s lips, not wanting Frank to think he was anxious or anything. He was enjoying himself, more than he had enjoyed himself in a long time, he just couldn’t help but feel nervous. Despite the many one night stands he’d had in his time he still worried he wasn’t going to be good enough. Frank was a porn star, he was about as experienced as you could be, and slept with men who were just as experienced. Gerard had no chance of competing. 

“Then relax.” Frank sighed, kissing Gerard a little softer and moving his hands down to stroke down his chest, trying to show that it was okay to touch each other. He felt Gerard smile a little against his lips and relax a little more against him, his hands sliding down to shyly rest against Frank’s ass.

“Mm... There ya go...” Frank purred, pressing his body tight to Gerard’s and kissing him hungrily again.

Gerard was certain his entire face must be bright red as he smile and slowly squeezed Frank’s ass. Immediately his heart began to race faster and faster, making him grow breathless as he lost himself and kissed Frank with a lust that had been bubbling inside him since the first time he had ever seen one of Frank’s videos.

“Mmm... Yes Gerard...” Frank groaned, taken aback by the sudden heat of his kisses but he wasn’t about to complain. He shoved his hands beneath Gerard’s shirt and felt up his soft skin before he began to unbutton his shirt. 

Gerard groaned into his mouth and parted his legs so Frank slotted against him, his own hands still squeezing and massaging Frank’s ass. He had always wondered how it would feel, and it was just as good as he had ever imagined. It was making his cock stir and fill inside his jeans, making him squirm uncomfortably as Frank pushed his shirt open and ducked down to start kissing down his chest.

Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and bucked his hips up on instinct, gasping when he felt the bulge in Frank’s pants grind against his. God, he was hard too? Gerard felt an explosion of pride flood through him. He was thrilled to feel that he was affecting Frank too and he used his hands on his ass to press him down, their hips bucking and grinding together as Gerard moaned and Frank sucked down towards his nipples.

Frank could feel his lust rising as he felt down Gerard’s flat stomach and started to work on the button and zipper of his jeans. He couldn’t wait to just get him naked and roll around with him. Frank hadn’t had sex outside of work in a long while, and he was eager to get down to it. He yanked open Gerard’s jeans and started to tug, Gerard gasping and suddenly seizing his hands.

“W – Wait!” He choked, Frank stopping immediately and looking up at him with a flushed face and glossy eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He asked breathlessly, his jeans uncomfortably tight and he ached to take them off. He met Gerard’s gaze and bit his lip when he saw the anxiety radiating in them, making him move his hands away from Gerard’s button and zipper and laying them on his chest again instead. 

“I’m sorry, I just think we...” Gerard trailed off, turning his face away as his heart pounded erratically in his chest. Why had he stopped Frank? He wanted this, he wanted it more than anything. Had wanted it for years. Why now, when he was being faced with the one thing he had fantasised about pretty much every day, was he stopping?

“Am I being too overpowering?” Frank asked gently, wanting to understand what was wrong so he could remedy it and hopefully continue. “You... You’re not a virgin are you?” Frank couldn’t believe someone Gerard’s age and with such stunning good looks could still be a virgin, but that was how Gerard was acting so maybe it was possible... 

Gerard blushed even more at that question and quickly shook his head, feeling so embarrassed. He didn’t want to turn Frank off or make him leave, he did really want this just... He’d had way too many one night stands to let Frank end up being the same. This was the guy he had dreamed of, and he was even more perfect than Gerard ever thought he could be. He didn’t want to lose him by going too quick.

“I’m not a virgin.” He sighed, Frank smiling curiously at him. “I mean I... I’ve never bottomed before but –”

“Oh.” Frank breathed, admittedly shocked at that. Gerard didn’t seem the type to be a top, but then he had had that heated moment just now... “I’m sorry. I just assumed...” Frank shook his head and quickly smiled, leaning down to kiss Gerard quickly. “It’s fine. I don’t mind bottoming, I’m diverse.” Frank winked, flopping onto his back and yanking Gerard over him.

The new position stunned Gerard and for a moment he couldn’t think of anything except how much he would really like to strip Frank down and fuck him right there on his couch. But even if he changed his mind and decided that was what he was gonna do, he was pretty sure he’d be unable to. Frank was just too much of a live wire, Gerard couldn’t dominate him.

“I... Frank that isn’t the problem.” Gerard finally found his voice again, blushing when Frank looked at him with confused eyes. “I just... I really like you. So... I don’t wanna have sex.”

“I don’t understand...” Frank confessed softly, sitting up so Gerard would move back and sit next to him. “If you like me then what’s the problem?” He asked quietly, Gerard taking his hand and softly kissing his palm.

“The problem is that I... I don’t just want a one night stand Frankie... I want us to get to know each other and... and if you still like me once you know me properly then maybe we could...” Gerard trailed off, not wanting to be tenacious enough to suggest a relationship. If Frank rejected him he didn’t know what he’d do.

Frank quirked his head to the side, smiling a little. He’d never heard anyone say anything like that before. To Frank it was pretty much a no brainer that if you liked someone then you should have sex with them. They could get to know each other and fuck, that seemed like a much better offer than abstinence. 

“Gerard, I’m a porn star. I get plenty of sex without the need for one night stands.” Frank chuckled, stroking his hands back down Gerard’s stomach to toy with his button again. “I’m not after a fling okay? I do want to get to know you, and ya know... Hopefully we could have a relationship.” He smiled, leaning over to kiss Gerard softly. “But all of that can happen whilst we have fun, ya know?” He smirked, Gerard blushing and almost nodding his agreement but he forced himself to grab Frank’s hands and stop him from undoing his jeans.

“Frank I... I’m sorry.” He mewled, blushing deeply. It was very difficult to say no to Frank, especially when he was so insistent but Gerard was stubborn too. “You might be a porn star, but personally I can’t just have sex with people without getting to know them first.” Gerard blushed deeply at the lie but hoped he looked convincing. 

Honestly he had had sex with plenty of guys with only knowing them for a couple hours, but that was when he was really horny and fed up of being hideously single and so would make his way to the nearest gay bar with the intent of forgetting himself in a guy for a night. But this time Gerard wasn’t after forgetting his troubles, he was after a relationship and so if he was going to do this he was going to do this right.

Frank looked at Gerard with a bewildered eyes, stunned to have someone say that to him. He felt a blush coating his own cheeks and he slowly moved his hands away from Gerard, moving to sit back away from him so that there was a gap between them. He bit his lip gently as he stared at Gerard with wide eyes, unsure as to whether to be offended or not.

“I’m not trying to reject you or anything,” Gerard quickly continued when he realised Frank was looking a little dejected. “I really do want to do this with you. God... I want to so much, you have no idea. But I just...” Gerard trailed off, running a hand through his hair. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, telling Frank he didn’t want to have sex, but now he was seriously regretting it.

“You just... have much better morals than me.” Frank finished for him, Gerard looking at him in horror for a moment before he realised Frank was teasing him, a playful smile playing about his lips. “It’s okay Gerard, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. No means no.” Frank shrugged, Gerard blushing harder.

“I’m sorry...” He mewled, looking down at his hands and jumping when Frank suddenly appeared on him again, gently sliding his hands up his chest to drape around his neck.

“Don’t apologise.” He purred, tenderly kissing along Gerard’s jaw. “I honestly don’t mind. We could just... make out?” He offered, hoping he’d get at least some action. Gerard smiled shyly at him and nodded, wrapping his arms back around Frank’s waist and sinking gladly into the kiss Frank pressed to his lips.

Frank smiled when he felt Gerard relax and pressed closer to him, kissing him tenderly at first but then gradually more passionately. He buried his hands into Gerard’s hair and worked his lips against his, feeling much better now they had stopped talking and had got back to kissing.

Frank really wasn’t offended that Gerard didn’t want to go any further, he understood his reasoning even if it did seem a little old fashioned. Frank knew that being a porn star his inhibitions were a lot looser than other peoples, but he had never met any quite as morally righteous as Gerard. It was strange, and it was giving him a serious case of blue balls, but he could accept that it was sweet too. Gerard wanted to get to know him and form a real solid foundation for a relationship rather than jump straight into sex. That was fine, Frank could just get laid at work anyway.

“Mmm...” Gerard smiled as he sank back into the sofa and let Frank rest above him, their tongues twining between their mouths as they kissed. Gerard was dizzy with relief that the sex conversation had been dropped, though inside he was still cringing over it. He wished he hadn’t mentioned anything now, he was still achingly hard in his jeans and kissing Frank wasn’t making it any easier, but he was glad he had said what he had. He wanted to do this properly, Frank was his dream guy, he had been fantasising over him for years. And as much as he had always imagined how amazing it would be to actually have sex with Frank, he knew that if they liked each other after getting to know each other more and then had sex, it would be all the more perfect because they waited.

At least... Gerard hoped it would.

xXx

Frank yawned and stretched as he began to stir. He was ridiculously warm and comfortable, tangled around Gerard’s half naked body. When his eyes fluttered open he was greeted by the back of the older man’s head and he smirked as he leant forward to brush his nose through his hair and inhale the scent of fruity shampoo. His arms were draped around Gerard’s waist and he was vaguely aware that his erection was pressing into his ass. 

Frank blushed and slowly unwrapped himself from around Gerard, drawing back slowly, taking care not to wake the older man. Frank wasn’t surprised he had morning wood considering how long him and Gerard had made out the night before. Their hands had wandered a little bit, but they only touched, didn’t try anything. It had been surprisingly nice, the most innocent thing Frank had done in a long time... But it was bound to leave him affected.

Slipping slowly out of the bed Frank stretched again and glanced over at the sleeping artist. Gerard was sprawled almost on his stomach, one arm dangling off the bed and the covers were tangled around his feet where he had kicked them off. His mouth was agape and he was even drooling a little into the pillow, his hair a spiky halo around his head. 

Frank smirked and shook his head fondly, finding the sight beyond adorable. Gerard was hardly sleeping beauty, but that just made Frank like him more. 

Making his way into the adjoining bathroom Frank wondered fleetingly if Gerard would mind him borrowing the shower. He was sure he’d be fine with it, he had told him the night before to just make himself at home once they had slid into bed beside each other. Frank had to admit, he had kind of been hoping they would take their kissing a step further then, but they didn’t. They shared a few more sleepy kisses, and Frank got to kiss and nip at Gerard’s neck for a while before they both drifted into wine induced sleeps. It had been a good night all the same though.

Flicking on the shower Frank stripped off his boxers and gazed in the mirror as he waited for the water to heat. He looked pretty refreshed considering how it was early on a Sunday morning. He was usually in bed until afternoon on Sundays, but his problem needed sorting quickly and he wasn’t feeling tired. He had slept great, spooning against Gerard. He bit his lip, thinking about how they had a lot of dates to go through if he wanted Gerard to feel like they knew each other enough. The sooner the better... Frank just wanted to make the artist his boyfriend so he could do fun stuff like invite him into the shower with him.

Frank sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to tease out the worst of the knots before he stepped into the shower and rinsed himself down with the warm water. He chuckled a little when he heard some soft snoring filtering in from the bedroom, his lips tugging into a smirk. Gerard must really be sleeping deeply, he hadn’t snored all night... or maybe Frank just hadn’t heard since he’d been so deeply asleep himself.

Pouring some body wash into his hands Frank began soaping down his body, eager to reach his erection which had began to ache with the need to be touched. It felt like forever since Frank had last jacked off. He got so much action at work that he just never felt any desire to masturbate, the fact he had woken up with morning wood was testament to how badly he wanted Gerard. If only the older man knew...

Frank sighed and closed his eyes as he slid his hand down to grasp around his length, leaning against the wall to support himself as he began to slowly slide it up and down his shaft. He thought about Gerard sleeping in the other room and tightened his grip, his soapy hand slipping over his erection with ease. His groin tugged deliciously and he moved his hand faster, not taking his time in fear of Gerard waking up and interrupting him.

Frank groaned softly as he slipped his thumb over the head of his cock and dug against the slit, a spark of pleasure shooting right to his balls. He forgot how good it felt to be pleasured by his own hand and he bucked his hips as he began to pump faster and faster, his grip tightening slightly. 

Biting his lip in an attempt to stop himself from making a noise Frank began to twist his palm against his shaft, tightening his grip even more as pleasure rose in waves inside him. He thought about Gerard and how delicious his kissing was, how he panted softly when Frank had kissed and sucked at his neck. He pretended that he had never stopped him from going further last night and imagined how he would have stripped him down and sucked his cock. 

Frank sighed and subconsciously ran his tongue against his lower lip as he imagined Gerard’s dick was in his mouth. He bet he tasted divine... 

Frank bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to stop his moans as he bucked his hips again and pumped his hand faster. Thinking about Gerard was really making him hot and his thighs quivered as he felt his orgasm approaching. He tried to imagine how it would feel to push inside Gerard... God, he was a virgin when it came to that kind of thing. Frank imagined being the first, imagined how tight and hot he would be.

Frank balled his free hand into a fist and bit down hard on the knuckles as he began to climax, the mental image of fucking Gerard from behind sending him over the edge. He gasped and shuddered as he came hard over his hand, biting down so hard on his knuckles he left angry red teeth marks in them. He wasn’t even convinced he had managed to stay quiet when he had been swept away by his orgasm, if the copious amount of cum dripping from his hand was anything to go by then it had been a pretty explosive climax. Better than any orgasm he had had in a long time.

“Mm...” Frank slumped against the shower wall and closed his eyes, letting the water wash him clean as he just relaxed for a moment. He felt much better now he’d cum, though there was still a gentle pulsing in his balls that was distracting him. He wished he could go into the bedroom and just have his wicked way with Gerard. He seriously doubted the older man would have had a change of heart in the night though so he behaved himself and instead got to washing his hair and cleaning himself properly. 

Back in the bedroom Gerard was just beginning to stir. At first he just smiled and stretched serenely. He was aware that it was a Sunday and that meant he could stay in bed for as long as he want, it took him a longer moment to remember that he hadn’t been alone when he had fallen asleep and that the man of his dreams should be wandering around somewhere.

Sitting up abruptly Gerard looked about and bit his lip. Frank hadn’t left without saying goodbye had he? Maybe he had only stayed the night to be polite and in fact had been dying to leave the whole time. Maybe it was because Gerard hadn’t put out.

Gerard blushed deeply and scrambled out of bed, dashing from the bedroom to check the rest of the apartment. The kitchen and living room were also empty and Gerard felt his heart sinking. Frank really had gone... Not even a note left behind. Only the second empty wine glass beside Gerard’s to prove that he had been there at all.

Gerard wandered back into the bedroom feeling dejected and sorrowful. A crushing embarrassment was starting to fill him and he wondered if it was worth texting Frank. Maybe he had been called away for some reason, maybe he hadn’t wanted to go at all.

“Gerard?” Gerard jumped violently at Frank’s soft voice and span round with wide eyes and racing heart to see the younger man poking his head round the bathroom door. He was smiling warmly at Gerard and his hair was wet.

“H – Hi!” Gerard grinned, his voice coming out at an embarrassingly high pitch from his delight at seeing Frank here after all. And by the looks of it, he had been showering... Gerard felt a little stir in his groin at the image of Frank naked and wet beneath a shower and he quickly shook his head to clear it.

“I took a shower, I hope you don’t mind.” Frank smiled, glancing up and down Gerard’s body and smirking at what he saw. He really was gorgeous. “Do you have a towel I could borrow?”

“Huh? Oh, sure.” Gerard gasped, rushing across the room to grab a towel from the chest of drawers. He bent down to slide open the bottom drawer and seize the nicest, fluffiest towel he owned, giving Frank a great view of his ass whilst he was at it.

“Here you go.” He smiled, walking back to Frank with pink cheeks and handing it him. “There’s also a spare toothbrush in the cabinet in there if you want to use it.” He said gently, Frank beaming at him.

“Ah, that’s great. Thanks Gee.”He smiled, going to slide back inside the bathroom before he poked his head round again. “I’ll take my time so you can get rid of that too.” He smirked, nodding down at Gerard’s crotch. “Unless you’d like my help?” He purred seductively, Gerard glancing down and instantly flaming a bright red all over his face and neck.

“O – Oh! Shit, I’m s – sorry Frankie I didn’t realise I –” Gerard quickly covered up his erection with his hands, horrified that he hadn’t even noticed. How had he not noticed!? Disgusted with himself Gerard quickly turned away, Frank struggling to stifle his laughter.

“Hey, it’s fine. I see ‘em all the time.” He sniggered, Gerard only blushing harder at that. “You sure you don’t want a hand?”

“No thanks.” Gerard squeaked, so embarrassed he could die. 

“Okay, suit yourself.” Frank shrugged. “By the way, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I woke up hard too... It’s cos you’re so sexy.” He winked, Gerard glancing at him in shock but Frank was already disappearing back inside the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Gerard stood frozen to the spot for a long moment. Was Frank serious? Had he really woken up like this too? And because of him? Gerard couldn’t help but smile a little, his chest filling with butterflies. He hoped Frank was being honest, but to think he could have that affect on anyone was kind of hard to believe. He didn’t have time to think about it though before he hurried to get dressed and will his erection away by thinking about as many unsexy things as he could... Like the time he heard Mikey having sex...

Gerard cringed and grabbed a pair of black jeans from his wardrobe. The Mikey sex memory seemed to do the trick and his boner was quick to disappear as he tugged the jeans on, Gerard still shuddering to himself.

xXx

Brian woke up with a small groan, his hands rising to press against his eyelids as his head thumped painfully. Two seconds of being awake and he already knew he had a killer hangover. He couldn’t believe he had got so drunk last night... It had been a mixture of trying to keep up with the juggernaut that was Matt, and drowning his sorrows over the fact his date with Gerard had been ruined.

“Mm... You need some painkillers?” A husky voice asked behind him, making Brian jump and turn with wide eyes to face Matt’s grin. Oh God... He’d stayed over? Brian blinked stupidly and quickly looked about to take in his surroundings. Well... It definitely wasn’t his apartment. He must have come home with Matt last night and... 

“What did we do last night!?” Brian squeaked, covering his mouth with his hands. Had he fucked Matt? Oh God, what if he had? He couldn’t even remember. He remembered dancing with him in the club, and maybe making out a bit too. He couldn’t remember getting back to Matt’s or falling asleep. There was just a huge blank patch in his memory and for all he knew that blank patch was hiding the truth of his sexual exploits that evening. 

“Did we..?”

“Fuck?” Matt finished for him, quirking an eyebrow at the horrified expression on Brian’s face. He felt a little bit embarrassed looking at him, and he pouted slightly. “We didn’t do anything. I was drunk and you were practically unconscious. I just put you to bed and slept on the couch.” Matt shrugged and for the first time Brian realised that though Matt was lying next to him he was in fact fully clothed.

“Oh...” Brian breathed, blushing slightly and wondering if he should have apologised. Perhaps he had slightly over reacted, after all, he’d had plenty of drunken sex before and he was actually feeling a little disappointed now he knew Matt had been the perfect gentleman and hadn’t even shared the bed. “Why didn’t you just take me home?”

“I don’t know where you live.” Matt chuckled, relaxing when he saw Brian was looking pretty sheepish. “I tried asking you but to be honest you weren’t making much sense.”

“Sounds about right...” Brian grumbled, rubbing his hand over his face and groaning again at his head ache. “Did you say I could have some painkillers?”

“Course.” Matt smiled, getting up to grab some from the bedside table before he handed them to Brian with a glass of water. “I text Frank this morning to see if he knows how Gerard was, he says he’s fine.” He smiled, Brian breathing a small sigh of relief.

“That’s good news.” He smiled, though honestly he hadn’t even thought about Gerard yet. “Did erm... Frank stay at his do you know?” He asked quietly, Matt raising his eyebrows. He knew that Frank had, and he was also smart enough to know that Gerard’s ‘illness’ excuse last night had been a lie. He imagined that Frank had been all too happy to join Gerard in his bed last night, but he wasn’t about to tell Brian that.

“I doubt it. He probably just dropped him off at home and then left.” He smiled, wanting Brian to be happy. Brian looked at him and gave a small smile back, sitting up to take the painkillers before he ran a hand through his bed hair. 

“We made out last night didn’t we?” He asked softly, trying to piece the evening back together. Matt chuckled softly and nodded, biting his lip. 

“Yeah we did... We were dancing and then you just kissed me.” Matt wanted it clear that he hadn’t instigated anything. As much as he found Brian ridiculously sexy he wasn’t one to take advantage. “You don’t mind do you?” He asked softly, wanting to make sure that things weren’t going to be awkward. If Brian was a friend of Gerard’s and Frank was getting his claws in then he got the feeling they would be seeing a lot of each other. 

“Hm? Oh... No err... No, it was nice.” Brian coughed, rubbing the back of his neck with a small grin. He could vaguely remember being all over Matt in the club, which given the fact he was drunk wasn’t a surprise. When Brian got alcohol inside him he pretty much made out with the nearest thing with a pulse. He was glad it had been Matt though, the guy was incredibly sexy, and it was strange to be with a guy who was so much more domineering than he was. 

“Really?” Matt smirked, gazing at Brian’s half naked body and feeling a clench in his abdomen. He was trying to behave himself but it was becoming difficult. “We could do it again if you wanted.” He purred, loving how big Brian’s eyes grew as he stared at him. 

Brian considered for a moment, and really the only hesitated because he didn’t want to end up doing things with Matt and hurting Gerard. But then Gerard had hardly been giving Brian any signals that he wanted to be with him so maybe he should give up on that. And Matt was really _really_ sexy.

“I think if we did it again I’d end up doing a lot more than just kissing.” He finally admitted, smirking a little when it was Matt’s turn to look surprised.

“Oh...” Matt chuckled softly, moving to slowly push Brian down on his back and straddle his hips. 

Brian felt an explosion of sparks prickle over his body and he felt a tingling in his groin as Matt seized his wrists and pinned them above his head. Brian hadn’t been dominated much before and already his heart was pounding. 

“I think you should tell me to stop before I fuck you Brian.” Matt warned, Brian thinking about that. He couldn’t see Matt’s body beneath his clothes but he could imagine his broad chest and muscled torso. He bucked his hips without even thinking about it.

“I think you should just shut up and fuck me.” Brian retorted, gasping and grinning when Matt swooped down to capture his lips in an eager kiss.

Brian had always thought that the best cure for a hangover was sex anyway.


	8. Chapter eight

Gerard sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he gazed down at his story board. He was working hard on the production of the Breakfast monkey but his team were incredibly efficient and he had already found himself with a bit of time to just relax. He was calmly making up some mock story boards for possible episode ideas, sipping coffee from a takeout cup and thinking about his weekend.

He had spent all of Sunday with Frank, watching movies and chatting. They had shared a few kisses but mostly they just cuddled together and Gerard was still smiling over it. He felt like he finally knew enough about Frank to consider him a friend which was step closer to the relationship status he was dreaming of. He knew that Frank wanted to have sex and get things moving quickly, but that just made Gerard respect him even more for waiting.

Gerard hadn’t yet spoken to Brian since he had abandoned him with Matt at the restaurant. He hoped he was okay, he hadn’t even seen him at work that day.

Gerard sat up as he realised this and blinked stupidly, his pencil dropping from his slackened fingers. Was Brian in today? If he wasn’t, then why not? Gerard knew it was silly to assume that Brian had called in sick because of him but he couldn’t stop the thought from crossing his mind. 

Gerard sipped his coffee and looked to his office door, considering going out on a hunt for Brian. He supposed he did owe him an apology for abandoning him on their date, and it would be good to see if he was okay. It wasn’t like he was doing anything important anyway, and everyone would be leaving within the next hour so knowing Brian he probably wasn’t doing anything important either. 

Gerard shrugged and put down his cup, shoving his chair back after making up his mind to find Brian. He placed the storyboards in a drawer and then left his office in search of the younger man, strolling past his team who were working outside his office to go down to another department.

Being still vaguely new Brian didn’t have his own office, but worked in a large space with lots of other people. He had his own drawing desk of course, and as Gerard made his way through the room he knew Brian worked in he smiled when he saw his dark hair from behind. He was hunched over something, his hand flying across the page as he sketched quickly and Gerard hesitated, wondering whether he should just go before figuring Brian always interrupted him so he walked over to him anyway and tapped his shoulder.

Brian jumped a little but not enough to ruin his drawing, his head turning whilst his hand still moved though he dropped his pencil when he saw Gerard and beamed widely at him as he turned properly.

“Gerard hi! What you doing here?” He beamed, the happiness in his expression making Gerard feel bad for not coming and apologising to him earlier and he forced a smile as he pulled a cigarette from his pocket.

“Cigarette break?” He asked softly, Brian jumping at the chance and nodding eagerly as he got up and grabbed his own packet of Marlboro’s. 

“Sure, lead the way.” He winked, abandoning his desk as he followed Gerard back into the corridors and into the elevator. Gerard jabbed the button for the top floor and leant against the side of the lift as he gazed at Brian. The guy was looking ridiculously happy which Gerard found kind of strange, he thought he’d be a little put out about their date.

“So erm... I’m sorry about Saturday night.” He offered, idly playing with his cigarette as he waited for the elevator to reach its destination. “I had a really nice time until erm... till I had to go.” He coughed, Brian smiling and shrugging off his apology. 

“Don’t worry about it man, I had great time anyway.” He assured him, the elevator coming to a stop and the two men stepped out into the much less impressive looking corridor at the top of the building. The walls here were just plain stone and it was only a short walk until they stepped out of a fire escape door onto the roof of the tall building.

“I’m glad to hear you had a good time.” Gerard mumbled, cupping his hand around his lighter flame as he held it to the cigarette which was now dangling between his lips. “Did you and Matt get up to anything?” He asked casually, inhaling the smoke of his cigarette deep into his lungs before blowing it back past his lips. Brian watched him with sparkling eyes as he did the same.

“We went to a club.” He answered, his voice thick from the smoke still in his throat. “We danced and got wasted.” He chuckled, running his spare hand through his hair. “What about you? Did Frank stay with you once he got you home or..?” 

Gerard blushed, not sure whether to be honest or not. He could feel Brian staring at him intently and he panicked. 

“Oh he, no he didn’t. Well I mean he did a little bit but just not all night but just a little bit erm...” Gerard blushed deeply and took a long drag on his cigarette, Brian smirking at him with a playful twinkle in his eyes. He loved when Gerard got all flustered, but he could understand now that the older man didn’t want to be with him. 

“It’s okay ya know.” He said gently, waiting until Gerard looked at him. “I don’t mind if Frank stayed the night. I stayed at Matt’s.” He shrugged, keeping his voice casual. Of course he was disappointed that he wasn’t who Gerard wanted, but it was just a revelation to discover that Gerard wanted anyone at all. Frank must be something special for Gerard to like him... Brian couldn’t think of what it was but then he had been distracted by Matt most of the night.

Gerard looked at Brian with eyebrows raised in surprise. He hadn’t been expecting him to be okay with it, and he felt a rush of relief as he smiled. Maybe he and Brian could become good friends after all.

“He did stay the night.” He admitted quietly, idly flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette to the floor. “We didn’t do anything though.” Gerard decided he wouldn’t say it was because had asked specifically that they not have sex, he didn’t want to seem like a total loser.

“Oh...” Brian had to admit he was surprised about that too. If he’d been Frank he definitely would have tried his luck. “So, do you like Frank?” He asked curiously, gazing at Gerard’s face as the older man blushed and shrugged.

“Yeah a... a bit.” He mumbled, his stomach swirling at the thought. He didn’t just like Frank a bit... He absolutely adored him and wanted him more than anyone else in the world. He couldn’t stop thinking about him, the way he kissed him... when he thought about the possibility of having sex with him his hands got all sweaty and his head span. He still couldn’t understand why he’d passed up the opportunity to have sex with him that weekend but he had to believe he’d done the right thing.

Brian smirked as he looked at Gerard, nodding as if he understood and taking another long drag on his cigarette.

“So erm... So you and Matt... You stayed at his huh?” Gerard quickly tried to move the conversation away from himself and smirked when he saw Brian’s cheeks tinge a light pink. It was so unlike the younger man to blush that Gerard couldn’t help but feel a deep amusement over it. “You like him.” He purred, Brian smirking back at him.

“Well, it’s early days yet.” He said as sensibly as he could, though he couldn’t help but jump and down like a teenage girl as he said, “we did have sex though.”

Gerard gawped at him for a moment before realising that wasn’t really that big of a deal. Gerard supposed he’d done the same thing plenty of times before so he simply smirked and finished his cigarette as he met Brian’s gaze.

“Wow... Do you think you’ll see him again?” He asked casually, blowing smoke into the air as he dropped the butt of his cigarette to the floor and crushed it with his foot. 

“I hope so.” Brian shrugged, crushing his own finished cigarette. “He said we would. He took my number and I have his so... But we’ll just see.” 

“Well, it sounds like you guys really hit it off.” Gerard smiled, wondering again whether he had done the right thing in telling Frank he didn’t want to have sex with him. Maybe he should have just gone for it. Even Brian had got laid that night.

“It sounds like you and Frank have too.” Brian smirked, following Gerard back to the fire escape door that led back into the building. “I can tell he likes you... Are you guys gonna go on a date together?” He asked softly, Gerard blushing at the question and shrugging his shoulders.

“I don’t know...” He admitted softly, though of course he wanted to. He hadn’t really arranged anything with Frank, but he knew he was in New York for another week before he was going to New Jersey to take a break from work for a while. Gerard had pretty much assumed that if he was going to see Frank again it would be in New Jersey when he didn’t have work to worry about, but now he was starting to wonder if he should contact him before that. After all, he didn’t want to give him the impression he wasn’t interested.

“You should call him.” Brian smiled, following Gerard into the elevator. “You have his number right?” 

“Mhmm...” Gerard nodded, already considering it. 

“Then call him.” Brian smirked, the elevator taking them down to their floor and Brian squeezed Gerard’s shoulder as he stepped out. “You should go out with him, have some fun.” He winked, Gerard looking at him silent surprise as Brian grinned and walked away to go back to his own desk. Gerard couldn’t believe Brian was being so understanding about it, and part of him was suspicious about that, but he pushed it out of his mind and decided he would text Frank as he made his way back to his own office.

xXx

Gerard sighed as he dropped his keys down on the counter and went straight into the bathroom to shower. He had text Frank earlier and was now looking forward to a date with him on Wednesday night, the porn star had seemed excited about it which in turn made Gerard ecstatic. His head span when he considered that maybe something could become of him and Frankie.

Gerard showered quickly and hurried to get dried and dressed into a casual pair of old jeans and a baggy t-shirt. After he had arranged his date with Frank, Elena had called him and practically demanded that he come to hers for dinner that night. Gerard swore the woman had some sort of built in radar that told her when Gerard was full of gossip that she needed to extract, but it got him some free home cooked food so he wasn’t about to complain.

Once he had changed and his hair had dried to the point where it was just damp Gerard grabbed his car keys and made his way out of his apartment to go to Elena’s. He was looking forward to her homely Italian cooking and was even a tiny bit excited to tell her about Frankie, no doubt she wouldn’t be letting him leave until he did. 

Elena only lived ten minutes from Gerard and so just a couple Iron Maiden songs later Gerard was pulling up into her driveway and flicking off his radio. He checked his hair wasn’t sticking up all over the place before he got out of the car and made his way up to the door. He knocked politely but then let himself anyway, as was normal when visiting Elena, and he groaned in quiet delight when his senses were instantly attacked with the delicious scent wafting through the house.

“Hello!” He called in a sing song voice, Elena immediately appearing in the kitchen doorway wearing a pink frilly apron over a long flowing skirt and lilac blouse. She grinned widely at Gerard and opened her arms wide as she charged down the hallway towards him.

“There he is!” She sang, encasing him in her surprisingly strong arms and crushing him in a tight hug. “It’s wonderful to see you my dear.” She beamed, kissing both his cheeks and leaving a sweet smell of powder as she began to drag Gerard down the hallway, barely giving him time to kick off his shoes. “I bought us some champagne!” She declared proudly, Gerard chuckling as he followed her into the kitchen and inhaled deeply. The smell of the cooking was stronger here and Gerard’s mouth watered.

“Champagne? What’s the occasion?” He smirked, Elena shoving the champagne bottle into his hands for him to open as she sought out some glasses.

“It’s to celebrate you getting your cartoon deal.” Elena scoffed as if it should be obvious. “And I hope you feel suitably guilty for not coming to celebrate with me already.” She added, Gerard smiling softly though he did feel a little bit of guilt stir inside him.

“I’m sorry Grandma, I’ve just been really busy.” He said honestly, popping the cork on the champagne and filling the two glasses as Elena took the lasagne from the oven. “I’ve met someone.”

Elena almost dropped the lasagne dish in shock, a squeal of delight erupting from her lips as she slammed the dish down on the side and whirled round to look at Gerard with wide eyes. Gerard knew it would be enough to get her to stop with the approaching guilt trip and he laughed softly as she beamed at him.

“You never!” She gasped, Gerard blushing though he smirked and nodded, Elena squealing and diving on him to hug him tight. “Oh my GOD Gerard why didn’t you tell me!?” She cried, Gerard laughing as he hugged her back for a moment.

“I’m telling you now.” He said innocently, handing one of the glasses of champagne to Elena. “Can we eat? I’m starving Grandma.” He chuckled. 

“We can eat after you’ve told me everything about this young man you’ve met.” Elena said sternly, pushing Gerard to fill their champagne glasses whilst she placed the lasagne and a bowl of salad onto the dining table. 

Gerard chuckled fondly and poured the sparkling liquid into the glasses and then handed on to Elena who was once again bouncing beside him. 

“So come on, tell me!” She begged, Gerard shrugged as he leant over to pluck a cherry tomato from the salad bowl and pop it in his mouth.

“Well, his name is Frank.” He said softly, chewing on the tomato as Elena thwacked his arm and scolded him for eating without permission. “He’s four years younger than me.” Gerard continued with a chuckle, sitting down at the table so that Elena would follow his lead and stop her incessant bouncing.

“Younger eh?” Elena smirked, sitting opposite Gerard and idly swirling her champagne round the glass in her hand. “Is he cute?” She asked, Gerard blushing slightly as he nodded.

“Very...” He purred, Elena gasping and clapping her hands.

“What does he look like?” She demanded, slowly starting to serve up the food when she saw Gerard was mostly distracted by the delicious smelling lasagne infront of him. “I want every detail.”

“Well, he’s erm... short. He has dark hair, brown eyes, lots of tattoos, tan skin...” Gerard tried to keep things simple so that he didn’t get too carried away, though it was difficult when the mental image of Frank was making him melt inside.

“The boy you mentioned in the restaurant?” Elena gasped, Gerard looking at her in surprise.

“Erm... Brian?” He asked uncertainly, Elena waving her hands as she shook her head, handing Gerard a plate of lasagne and then the salad bowl. 

“No... The boy you said was your type, but then tried to convince me wasn’t a person you’d actually met.” Elena said innocently, waiting patiently for Gerard to put some salad on his plate before handing the bowl to her. 

Gerard’s head was reeling as he tried to figure out what Elena was going on about, it taking him a moment to remember their conversation when they had gone to the Italian those weeks ago and how he had described his perfect type by describing Frank. Once he realised Elena had caught him out he blushed deeply and quickly shovelled some lasagne into his mouth so he wouldn’t have to answer.

“So I take it you had met him at that point?” Elena smirked, spearing some lasagne onto her fork though she didn’t eat it, instead just stared at Gerard with an amused expression. “Why did you lie to me? You know you should never lie to your grandma Gerard.” She purred innocently, Gerard’s cheeks flaming as he tried to think of an explanation. He couldn’t exactly tell Elena the truth, as amazing as his grandma was he doubted she’d be okay with the fact that Frank was a porn star and Gerard was a hopeless fan boy.

“Erm... I err... I hadn’t met him at the point.” Gerard finally managed to choke out after swallowing his mouthful of food. “I’d just erm... seen him around.” He lied, Elena quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Seen him around where?” 

“The uh... The subway.” Gerard quickly answered. It seemed plausible enough to him and he quickly ate some more food as Elena looked at him with a thoughtful smile.

“So... You’d seen this boy on the subway and you had been admiring him from afar?” She clarified, Gerard blushing furiously as he nodded. “How did you get talking?” Elena asked, Gerard chewing slowly to give himself time to come up with some sort of story.

“Erm... I guess he’d just been admiring me from afar too and one Monday whilst I was on the way to work he just sat next to me and... ya’ know... said hi.” Gerard imagined Elena would probably want to hear more than that, but it was the best he could come up with. He hadn’t thought things through properly before deciding to tell Elena about Frank, but to his relief she only grinned at him, apparently satisfied.

“Oh Gerard that’s so romantic!” She cooed, clapping her hands excitedly. “It’s just like out of a movie! I take it you boys have been on a date?” 

“A couple.” Gerard chuckled, relaxing as he got back into familiar ground and described his time in Vegas with Frank, under the pretext of going to a comic con together, and then the date with Brian and Matt. He told Elena that Brian had met Matt around the same time he met Frank and that they’d gone on a double date together so that he didn’t have to go through the lecture of leading Brian on. 

“Oh Gerard... He sounds like a dream.” Elena sighed, grinning widely and gazing at Gerard with a sparkle in her eyes. She was so proud of him, so pleased he had finally met a guy he liked. She had been starting to believe it would never happen. “So, we have two things to celebrate now.” Elena picked up her champagne glass and raised it, Gerard quickly lifting his own. 

“Congratulations darling on your fabulous achievement at work, and of course in finding the man of your dreams.” She declared camply, Gerard laughing as they clinked their glasses together and sipped their champagne. 

“I wouldn’t get carried away grandma, we’ve only been on two dates.” Gerard smirked as he got back to eating his food, though deep down he couldn’t deny he was hoping he and Frank would last a long time. Every time he thought about him butterflies would erupt in his tummy.

“I’m not getting carried away.” Elena scoffed, kicking Gerard lightly under the table. “I can already tell you’re crazy about him.”

Gerard smiled quietly but didn’t respond to that. He didn’t want to say he was crazy about Frank, even though he was, since it would just make it all too obvious how deeply he adored him already. But he didn’t want to lie and say he wasnt crazy about him because... Well, he was. 

“Have you slept with him yet?” Elena asked conversationally, taking a sip of her champagne before cutting up her lasagne, casually ignoring how Gerard was choking on his mouthful of food. Elena bit back her smirk and waited for her grandson to stop coughing before she looked at him innocently and raised her eyebrows. 

“Well?”

“Grandma you can’t just ask me that!” Gerard squeaked, his cheeks flaming. Elena smirked at him and shrugged innocently.

“Why not?” She giggled, eating some lasagne as she pinned Gerard with her questioning stare. “We’re both adults, you shouldn’t get embarrassed.” She smirked, her eyes sparkling as Gerard spluttered and stammered, unable to think of a response. “So come on, have you slept with him or not?” Elena pushed when it became clear Gerard was just going to continue flailing like a fish out of water if she didn’t say anything.

“I – I - God grandma, no okay! We haven’t.” Gerard finally managed to choke out, mortified that Elena was asking him such things. He didn’t make a point of telling her his sex life, and he wasn’t about to start. 

“Because the opportunity hasn’t arrived or because you’re waiting?” Elena continued as if it was perfectly normal conversation, Gerard gawping at her like an idiot. It was as if she was psychic or something and Gerard’s blush intensified as he lowered his head slightly. 

“Well we... We did sorta... erm... I told him I wanted to wait.” He coughed, knowing it was better just to answer Elena than try and protest to this kind of questioning. Besides, maybe she could give him some advice on the situation. 

“And he’s okay with waiting?” Elena asked innocently, smiling as she ate some more and Gerard nodded silently. “Why do you look so glum about it?” Elena scoffed, Gerard biting his lip as he peeked up at her through his lashes. 

“Because... Because I got the feeling he probably thought I was stupid for wanting to wait.” He admitted ever so quietly, his stomach twisting. He hadn’t want to admit that even to himself but he couldn’t deny that it had been playing on his mind. Despite how excited he was for his and Frank’s approaching date and how well their time together had gone over the weekend, he still did feel concerned that Frank was put out about the no sex thing. 

“Well... He might have done.” Elena shrugged, not making Gerard feel any better at all. “But whether he thinks waiting is stupid or not, the fact he’s agreed to it surely tells you that he cares about you.” Elena cocked her head to the side with a warm smile, Gerard looking up properly and shrugging as his cheeks faded to a lighter pink colour.

“Maybe... But maybe he just agreed to it just to make me happy.” Gerard’s blush intensified again when Elena burst out laughing, shaking her head and slapping her knee as if Gerard had just told an incredible joke. Gerard scowled slightly and pouted like a sulky child, folding his arms and glaring at his grandma. 

“What?”

“Oh Gerard,” Elena chuckled, wiping her eyes as she tried to stop laughing. “Bless you sweetie, you’re so adorable.” She chuckled, Gerard just feeling even more confused as he waited for Elena to calm down and explain what she was finding so funny. It felt like forever before she finally managed to stop her giggles and look at him with some amount of seriousness, still wiping tears from her eyes. 

“Gerard if he’s waiting just to make you happy then that’s a _good_ thing. He wants to make you happy because he likes you, surely that’s obvious.”

Gerard considered this for a moment and suddenly felt stupid for not realising it himself. Of course Elena was right. If Frank did think waiting to have sex was stupid and was only agreeing to it for Gerard’s sake then that just proved that he wanted a relationship with Gerard to work just as much as Gerard did. The realisation made Gerard’s heart miss a beat and his stomach lurch with happiness. If that was the case then maybe they didn’t have to wait after all... Maybe Frank had really meant it when he said they could build up a relationship and have sex at the same time. 

“I... I guess I just didn’t think about it.” Gerard finally muttered, picking up his cutlery again and going back to his lasagne as Elena shook her head fondly at him.

“You really ought to think more you know Gerard.” She smirked, eating some more of her own lasagne and dropping the subject now she trusted Gerard was going to do the right thing.

xXx

“I can’t believe you slept with him though.” Frank laughed, rubbing a towel over his wet hair as Matt shrugged, idly flicking through a small book which had all of Frank’s appointments in.

“He asked for it.” He said innocently, Frank giving an unattractive snort as he shook his head in bemusement. “Anyway, it’s not like you wouldn’t have done the exact same thing with Gerard if he’d asked you to.” Matt added, scribbling something into the diary. “By the way, you have a shoot tomorrow morning, I forgot to say.”

“Jesus Matt.” Frank groaned, though he didn’t complain. He rarely turned a shoot down. Mostly because Matt knew him so well he only ever agreed to Frank doing stuff he knew he was okay with, but also because Frank wanted all the money he could get. He already had a good wage, but he liked having money, and he wasn’t ashamed of that fact. 

“Anyway, I was quite happy about Gerard not wanting sex. I mean, it’s not like I don’t get any on a regular basis.” 

Matt rolled his eyes but didn’t argue the point which was even more potent considering Frank was currently getting dried and dressed after a shower scene for a company he often did videos for. The man he’d done the shoot with had already gone – a newcomer who didn’t have the luxury of hours between shoots which Frank did. Frank could remember only too well how rushed he’d been when he first started. In order to get any real good money in the porn industry you had to have a reputation, and the only way to get that was to get your videos out to every company and website possible. Now a day’s Frank didn’t have that problem.

“So what’s this shoot I have tomorrow?” Frank asked after a moment of silence. He tugged on his underwear and wandered over to stand in front of Matt as he got dressed, Matt giving him the basics of the porn shoot he had in the morning. It was nothing too extensive, just a quick “wham bam thank you ma’am” scene as Matt described them. 

“So no foreplay or anything?” Frank clarified, Matt nodding and Frank tugged his shirt over his head. “Cool, any photo breaks?”

“Nope, just sex.” Matt shrugged, Frank sighing a small breath of relief.

“Sounds good.” He smiled, glad he’d be able to just fuck and get it over with and not have to do any of the other nonsense a long shoot entailed. “Should be done within an hour then. We can go have breakfast out tomorrow.” He suggested, grinning as Matt rolled his eyes fondly but nodded his agreement.

“Sure. I might call Bri and ask if he wants to come...” Matt smiled a little at the thought, Frank smirking at him as he did up his studded belt.

“Won’t he be at work already by then?” He asked innocently, Matt frowning as he shrugged. “Just, I’m sure he’d have to be at work the same time as Gerard and he’d be working by then.” 

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to call him anyway.” Matt shrugged, too eager to see the man again to not even try. He and Brian had said they would meet again although they hadn’t planned a specific time and Matt really did wanna see him. “I could ask Gerard to come too.” He offered, smirking when Frank blushed.

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t want to distract him from working when he’s got such important stuff to be doing.” Frank replied, referring to the Breakfast monkey. Matt nodded as if he understood and then left the room to call Brian straight away, leaving Frank to finish drying his hair. 

Frank sighed as he picked up his towel and folded it slowly. He did want to see Gerard again, more than he probably should considering how few times he’d seen him. But he was already feeling like he knew so much about him and he knew he wanted a relationship... and he figured it was safe to assume Gerard wanted the same. But Frank didn’t think he’d be able to have breakfast with him in the morning after having had sex not long before hand. 

Frank hadn’t found his career a problem in his any of his relationships before... well, not for him at least. He’d had a few partners, well... a lot of partners who had disliked the fact he had sex for a living and had left him for some reason or another to do with it. But Frank himself had always found it easy to keep his working and his private life completely separate. But with Gerard he wasn’t so sure... The thought of seeing him so soon after fucking some stranger for cash made his stomach swirl and his skin crawl. Maybe it was because Gerard didn’t want to have sex with him just yet that made him feel so uncomfortable... guilty almost. 

“Hey,” Frank jumped when Matt suddenly appeared again, poking his head round the door. “I called Bri, he said he should be find to have breakfast with us tomorrow, he said no one will notice he’s gone.” Matt had a mischievous grin on his face and Frank quickly forced a smile. 

“You sure he won’t get into any trouble?” He asked softly, though admittedly he had never been one to care much for authority or rules. He just felt it was polite to ask.

“Nah, he’ll be fine.” Matt brushed the concerns away with a flick of his hand, too excited to see Brian to actually care whether he should be sneaking out of work or not. It’d only be for an hour anyway. “He said he won’t tell Gerard either, since you don’t want him to come.” Matt added with a smile, Frank nodding his head and trying not to look too disappointed. He really wanted to see Gerard, but it would be best to just wait until their date on Wednesday. He didn’t have any shoots Wednesday anyway so it’d be fine.

“Cool.” He grinned at Matt, the older man beaming as he turned and left Frank again, letting him finish getting changed before they left so that Frank could grab some lunch before he was due a photo shoot and another sex scene. 

Frank sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He loved his job, it was fun despite everything... but he wasn’t used to it inspiring such feelings of guilt whenever he thought about Gerard and how he might feel if they became a couple and he was forced to become more acquainted to what Frank being a porn star meant. 

Frank grimaced and grabbed his stuff, trying not to think about it as he left with Matt. He wasn’t even Gerard’s boyfriend yet and already he was full of an icy fear that Gerard was going to leave him just like all the others had.


	9. Chapter nine

“Ah, so this is the bed I used to dream about.” Gerard turned to frown at Brian as the younger man propelled himself backwards onto Gerard’s bed, bouncing a little on the mattress before resting his arms behind his head. “Mmph, this is comfy. I could get used to this.” 

“Please don’t.” Gerard smirked, shaking his head as he turned back to his open wardrobe. He sighed as he stared at his array of clothes, trying to get inspiration from the items. 

“Brian, I thought you were here to help me.” He whined, glaring again at the younger man as he wriggled about on the bed.

“I know, I know.” Brian smirked, reluctantly sliding off the bed to help Gerard select an outfit. “Your bed is nicer than Matt’s I’ll give you that much. I’m gonna go with him on the weekend to buy a new mattress.” Brian sounded ridiculously proud of this fact, his grin wide as he beamed at Gerard. 

“Great.” The artist scoffed, pouting a little as he folded his arms. “His mattress can’t be that bad anyway if you guys are having so much sex.” He pointed out, Brian laughing at his tone of voice. 

Since having breakfast together on the Monday morning Brian and Matt had been meeting each evening since. It may only be Wednesday but already Brian was incredibly smitten, and the ache in his ass was not enough to keep away his girlish fantasies. He’d been driving Gerard crazy telling him, in great detail, all about his nights at Matt’s place and it was starting to make the older man crack. He needed to get laid... If Brian and Matt could form a relationship based around sex then he sure as hell could.

“Do I detect a hint of jealousy?” Brian purred sweetly, nudging Gerard aside so he could start rooting through his clothes. “It’s not like you didn’t get the chance.” He pointed out, Gerard only able to whine in response. 

Gerard still felt like he shouldn’t jump straight into sex with Frank, but after listening to Brian all day everyday talking about his bedroom habits he was starting to feel a little needy. He’d even started watching Frank’s videos again and he’d promised himself he’d stop. Ashamed of himself Gerard had come to the decision that Elena was right; If Frank was prepared to wait for him then that told him everything he needed to know, so what was the point in torturing them both?

Gerard tingled all over at the thought of getting to experience Frank’s skills first hand. But more than this was a crushing nervousness that made his whole body tense and grow nauseas... What if he wasn’t good enough? What if he was actually so bad that Frank just decided he couldn’t be in a relationship with someone so useless in bed and then just left? Gerard had only really had one night stands before, so whether he was bad or not it hadn’t mattered since he’d never planned to see those people again... But Frank was different. 

“Okay, let me see...” Brian was oblivious to the internal battle going on in Gerard’s head as he raided the older man’s wardrobe. “Is this date tonight a casual thing or more formal?” He asked brightly, pulling out a pair of jeans and holding them up to scrutinise them for a second before he shook his head and put them back. Gerard bit his lip as he watched him, wondering what on earth had been wrong with the denims.

“Erm... I don’t know really, he didn’t exactly specify.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to end up over dressed but I still wanna impress him, ya know?” 

“Got it.” Brian chuckled, selecting a pile of clothes before he wandered back to the bed and laid them all out into carefully thought over outfits. Gerard kept silent as he watched him, wondering what it was that made Brian so good at dressing people. Without him Gerard knew he would have been agonising over what to wear until the moment he had to walk out the door.

“Okay. If you try all of these on then I’ll decide which is best.” Brian grinned, turning to face Gerard with one of the shirts in hand. “Strip.”

“Can’t I just dress in the bathroom?” Gerard asked uncertainly, though he walked towards Brian anyway. He knew it was silly to feel self conscious, especially when he knew that Brian found him attractive. 

“Why?” Brian smirked; shaking his head fondly and shifting his weight onto one hip, making him look even sassier as he planted his hands on to his hips. “Come on man, I’m not gonna jump your bones just because you get dressed in front of me.” He scoffed, making Gerard’s cheeks flame red.

“I know that.” He snapped, his face burning as he snatched the shirt from Brian and began to tug off the misfit’s top he was wearing. Brian chuckled at his embarrassment but politely turned his gaze to the outfits on the bed whilst Gerard pulled on the black shirt he’d been handed, slowly buttoning it up.

“So anyway... I was meaning to talk to you about Frank actually.” Brian suddenly spoke up, his words taking on a strange nervous quality. Gerard quirked an eyebrow at him, doing up the final button and obediently taking the white skinny tie that Brian handed him. 

“Oh?” Gerard slid the white fabric round his neck and began to do up the tie as he gazed at Brian’s expression. “What about?” He asked uncertainly, sensing that Brian was anxious about something.

“Well, you know I had breakfast with him and Matt on Monday?” He mumbled, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. He’d been meaning to bring this up with Gerard since he’d got back from the breakfast, but he’d been too nervous to say anything. He felt like it wasn’t really his place to bring it up, but his curiosity had been burning at him. 

“Yeah...” Gerard shrugged, still waiting to understand what Brian was trying to say. 

“Well, Frank had just been working beforehand...” Brian watched Gerard closely to try and figure out if he actually knew what Frank’s job was. Brian was certain he must do, Frank had been very open about talking about it to Brian, but if Gerard didn’t know... Brian didn’t want him ending up getting hurt. 

Gerard waited for Brian to continue, it taking him a moment to realise he wasn’t going to. He stood gazing at him with slightly widened eyes, the realisation that Brian must know about Frank making his cheeks tinge pink once more. He shuffled awkwardly and lowered his gaze to the floor, trying to keep calm and act natural.

“Had he?” He coughed, fiddling with the end of his tie. “Did he err... He tell you about his job then?” He asked softly, guessing he must have done if Brian was feeling the need to bring it up. He was surprised though when the younger man breathed out a sigh and seemed to relax with relief.

“Yeah he did. You know already?” He asked softly, Gerard looking up at him in surprise. 

“Of course.” He said softly, stunned that Brian would think he didn’t. “He uh... He told me the first day we met.” Gerard lied, Brian seeming to relax even more and he smiled warmly, making Gerard just feel even more embarrassed. Brian had thought he didn’t know?

“I’m glad.” Brian smiled, the relief fluttering through him like a dizzying wave. He really had been concerned that Gerard hadn’t known, but now he knew the guy was aware of what he was getting himself into he was happy to just continue scrutinising his outfit. “Okay, now try these.” Brian turned and tossed Gerard a pair of dark jeans, Gerard catching them with a confused look.

“Were you worried or something?” He asked curiously, stepping out of his sweat pants so that he could pull on the jeans. 

“A little.” Brian shrugged, watching as Gerard pulled the jeans up his legs and did up the button and fly. “I mean... You haven’t had a boyfriend in any the time that I’ve known you, and you’ve always seemed to have no interest in anyone so... I dunno.” Brian shrugged again, tapping his chin thoughtfully as he scanned Gerard’s outfit, waving his hand so that Gerard would give a slow twirl. 

“I was kinda worried you getting with a porn star would end up with you being hurt.”

“Why would you worry about that?” Gerard asked softly, trying to sound indifferent though inside his stomach was giving a sickening lurch. Why would Frank being a porn star mean that he could end up being hurt? It was just a job like any other wasnt it? 

Gerard turned so he was facing Brian again, the younger man seeming to decide his outfit wasn’t good enough because he shook his head and turned to select a different one.

“You look like a bartender,” He chuckled, grabbing a different shirt and handing it to Gerard before he answered his question. “I suppose I was just concerned that Frank maybe hadn’t told you and that when you finally found out you’d be really into him and ya know... It’d just feel the same as if he came out as cheating on you.” Brian shrugged, watching as Gerard took off the white tie and began to unbutton the black shirt.

“But it’s not cheating.” He said uncertainly, his face a picture of horror as he slid the shirt off his shoulders and pulled on the white v-neck Brian had chosen. “I mean... It’s not, is it?” 

“I guess it depends on your perception.” Brian replied, raising his eyebrows. He bit his lip as he realised Gerard clearly hadn’t though too deeply into the fact that Frank would be sleeping with other men on a daily basis. He suddenly looked terrified and Brian wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have brought the subject up. 

“I mean, maybe it would be a problem if you hadn’t known before hand but you do. So clearly it’s not a problem for you or you wouldn’t be going on this date tonight.” He pointed out, chuckling to try and lighten the atmosphere again.

“I guess...” Gerard mewled, tugging the v-neck over his head and pulling the hem down before waiting for Brian’s verdict. “Do you class it as cheating?” He asked softly, feeling sick at the thought. Of course he had always known that Frank was sleeping with other men, Gerard watched the videos for God’s sake... but he hadn’t really thought of it in the context of Frank as his boyfriend. Was everyone just going to think he was an idiot if he dated a porn actor?

“No.” Brian said simply, though whether that was because of Gerard’s question or his outfit the artist couldn’t be sure. “I class it as a job.” He clarified, picking up another t-shirt and tossing it to Gerard when the v-neck clearly didn’t do it for him either. 

“So... If Matt was a porn star it wouldn’t bother you?” Gerard asked, unable to let the subject drop now he’d begun to worry. 

“I... I don’t know.” Brian confessed, looking at Gerard in surprise as the older man miserably took off the v-neck and pulled on the fitted dark grey t-shirt Brian had given him instead. “I mean... Well, the fact is Gee, Frank has been honest with you from day one so really if him being a porn star was a problem it would have occurred to you by now. Surely you considered it all when he first told you?”

“Well I... I mean... I didn’t think that deeply about it.” Gerard blushed, realising he probably would have if he hadn’t already known that Frank was a porn star. Brian raised his eyebrows at Gerard in surprise before smirking. 

“Really?” He chuckled, gazing at Gerard’s outfit. “You really must like him then.” He smiled, Gerard looking surprised at that. Of course he liked him... God, he liked him more than he could even say. He’d been fantasising about him for years before he even met him. He was his fan boy... he was hopelessly in love with him and he didn’t even know him that well yet. He just loved what he had seen on the screen and that was enough to have him panicking over an outfit. It was ridiculous.

“You have no idea.” He finally chuckled, Brian smirking at him and shaking his head fondly. Gerard smiled and forced himself to relax, taking a deep breath and turning to look in the mirror at his outfit since Brian hadn’t told him to change yet. 

Now that he was remembering just how much he adored Frank he was finding the porn star thing didn’t bother him. Now that he’d dated him a couple of times he’d almost forgotten how much he used to watch his videos or how obsessed with him he was. He blushed as he thought of how he had been borderline stalker emailing the convention in Vegas and flying all that way just in the hope of getting a photo and an autograph... He had never imagined then he’d be using Brian’s help to get ready for a date with him, there was no way he could consider ending it all now just because of something he had always known from the start. And besides, Brian was right, it was just a job.

“So, do you think this works?” Gerard asked softly, turning from side to side to view his black jeans and dark grey shirt from all angles. Both garments were extremely figure hugging, and Gerard felt as though he ought to change one of them to something a little looser, but from the appreciative looks he was receiving from Brian he guessed that wasn’t necessary.

“Definitely. If he isn’t drooling over the table all night then the man has a problem.” Brian smirked, grabbing Gerard’s leather jacket from the wardrobe and resting it over the back of his chair. “Wear that with it and you’ll have him eating out of the palm of your hand.” 

“To be honest I think I’m more likely to be eating out of his.” Gerard mumbled, gazing in the mirror for a moment longer before he moved to sort his hair and eyeliner out. Brian got busy putting all the other clothes he’d picked out back into the wardrobe and straightening out the bed. As much as he still thought Gerard was incredibly sexy he was happily smitten over Matt and so he wanted that night to go perfect for the artist. 

“Well, in that case you’ll both be eating out of each other’s hands which means you’ll probably last all of thirty minutes before you’re fucking in the restaurant toilets.” He said innocently, Gerard spinning round to look at him in shock.

“What!? No we won’t!” He squeaked, Brian laughing loudly at his expression. “You’re so vulgar.” Gerard pouted, turning back to the mirror and straightening his hair as Brian smirked at him, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

“Oh come on. I’m amazed you’ve lasted this long without doing anything, anyone can see you’re crazy about each other.” He chuckled, Gerard blushing and smiling a little at his words.

“Really?” He mewled, putting down his straighteners and teasing his fingers through his hair for a moment before he began to smudge on his eyeliner. “I hardly know him...”

“You don’t have to know someone to be crazy about them.” Brian scoffed, meeting Gerard’s gaze in the mirror. “I mean, you might not be crazy in love yet but you can still be crazy in lust.” He smiled sweetly making Gerard roll his eyes. 

“Well... I don’t want us to be just about lust.” He muttered, Brian chuckling as he shook his head.

“Everyone starts off with just lust Gee, you don’t see someone on the street and fall in love with them at first sight, you fall in lust. Nothing wrong with that. Anyway, you can act as sweet and innocent as you like but I can tell you want Frank and you want him _bad_.” 

Gerard blushed at that but couldn’t help but think back to the many, _many_ times he had imagined having sex with Frank. All the times he’d masturbated to one of his videos, gazed longingly at his photos, lay in bed and dreamt about the things Frank could do to him. Of course he wanted him bad.

“See, you can’t even deny it.” Brian laughed, breaking Gerard out of his trance. The older man blushed deeply but he still smirked as he met Brian’s gaze in the mirror again.

“Well, I can’t deny it if it’s true.” He shrugged, laughing along with Brian as he felt his excitement and nerves return in one ruthless swoop.

xXx

“So how’s work been?” Gerard asked conversationally as he stirred the ice cubes in his Pepsi around with his straw. Frank quirked an eyebrow at him and smirked, leaning back in his chair as he shrugged.

“Well... Ya know. Work is work.” He answered softly, not really wanting to get into any details about it whilst he and Gerard were on a date. Though he was always open about his job there was a time and place to talk in length about it. Besides, he was still feeling sort of nervous that Gerard was starting to realise what being with a porn star really meant.

“Busy?” Gerard asked, gazing at Frank with a small smile. He was trying to make it clear that he wanted Frank to be comfortable talking to him about it. Now that he had talked to Brian about it he realised that if Frank kept it like a taboo subject then it would just make Gerard feel even worse, like Frank _was_ cheating. If they could talk about it openly then Gerard knew he wouldn’t worry.

“Well, about as busy as usual.” Frank shrugged, smiling a little as he realised Gerard _wanted_ him to talk about it. This was strange... Even in the beginning of all of his other relationships he’d had to keep his job out of casual conversation. Gerard was so different to any man he’d dated; it just made him want him even more. 

“I didn’t have anything to do today though.” He added with a smile.

“Oh?” Gerard smiled, leaning back as the waiter brought their food. Gerard had considered taking Frank to the Italian restaurant he went to with Elena, but had eventually decided against it. It had always been a dream of his to take a man of his dreams there... admittedly he had always fantasised that man would be Frank... But he still wanted to give it time before he made that decision. He knew it was stupid, but it was a big deal to him.

“You know, Brian was asking me about it earlier.” He smirked as he picked up his cutlery, Frank raising his eyebrows at him with a small smirk.

“Yeah? What was he asking?” 

“He was asking if I knew.” Gerard laughed, sipping his drink before he took a bite out of his food. “He was worried I didn’t know and that I’d end up getting hurt.”

“Really?” Frank’s smile disappeared as he looked at Gerard in surprise, it taking Gerard a second to realise Frank was no longer grinning and his own face dropped. “Why would he think I’d hurt you?” Frank asked softly, Gerard blushing deeply.

“Oh he... He didn’t, he just meant... I think he was just looking out for me. Like if I didn’t know what you did then maybe when I found out I’d feel the same as if you cheated. But once he realised I knew he was fine.” Gerard quickly covered, regretting bringing it up at all. Frank gazed at him for a long moment, his expression impossible to read. Gerard felt himself tensing before at last Frank smiled and cut into his food.

“He was just looking out for you huh?” He smiled, Gerard gulping as he nodded.

“I... yeah. He... He didn’t mean anything by it Frankie.” He mewled, not wanting to put a downer on their evening. And so soon too.

“I know.” Frank giggled, and to Gerard’s relief it sounded genuine. “I’m glad actually that he cares enough to ask. I mean... It’s nice to have people looking out for you.” Frank smiled warmly at Gerard and reached across the table to touch his hand, gently stroking his thumb over his knuckles. “I have Matt, and you have Brian... And by the looks of it the two of them are getting pretty close.” 

Gerard joined Frank in some soft laughter before Frank moved his hand away so they could both get back to their food. The skin on the back of Gerard’s hand tingled from where Frank had touched it and he sighed as he gazed at the younger man through his eyelashes. 

As they ate the two of them fell into easy conversation, laughing and chatting with smiles on their faces. Gerard even managed to follow the conversation without getting lost in Frank’s eyes, though it was difficult and he often had to look away or sip his drink to snap the hold. Frank was looking incredibly gorgeous as always, dressed in black skinnies and a white v-neck. Gerard could see his chest tattoo peeking above the neck line and it made his groin warm deliciously. He loved all of Frank’s tattoos... He wanted to lick them all.

Unbeknownst to Gerard Frank was also struggling in keeping his concentration where it should be. The figure hugging outfit Gerard was wearing was doing wonders to Frank’s body and he was finding he was noticing the most ridiculous of things. The shirt was tight but not too much, and Frank found himself gazing at the way the fabric creased in all the places where the contours of Gerard’s body lay... beneath his ribs, the dip of his tummy, the length of his midriff... Frank could imagine sliding his hands beneath the hemline and grazing them up Gerard’s torso, causing the fabric to stretch...

As the two men finished their meals they ordered coffee and dessert before returning to the conversation. This time though Frank leant forward across the table, Gerard doing the same thing on instinct so that their voices were lowered. Talking to each other as if they were sharing secrets.

Gerard’s heart raced as he smiled softly at Frank, their eyes locked as they leant towards each other, the soft purr of Frank’s voice making Gerard’s cock stir in his jeans. He couldn’t wait to take Frank home and kiss him, this time he definitely wouldn’t be pushing him away.

“You know... I really love spending time with you Gee.” Frank whispered softly, his hand sliding across the table to rest over Gerard’s again. Gerard smiled softly and slowly turned his hand over so that Frank could trace his fingertips over his palm. Drawing patterns on the skin.

“Me too...” He sighed, gazing dreamily at Frank as he tried to resist the urge to just kiss him right in the middle of the restaurant. 

“I’ve never met anyone like you.” Frank sighed, his smile soft and his words genuine. Gerard blushed but smiled wide, leaning even closer as he just melted over Frank’s words. 

“I know you want us to work at a relationship before we do anything in the bedroom.” Frank giggled, Gerard blushing slightly, his eyes smouldering as he looked at Frank through his eyelashes. “But the way you are... everything about you... You just really intoxicate me.” Frank confessed, his words huskier than before and Gerard’s cock gave another little swell, forcing him to clamp his legs tight together to get it under control.

“Frankie... You have no idea how much you intoxicate me too.” He groaned quietly, Frank smirking softly at him as he slid his fingers on his palm down to rest on his wrist. That simple touch did more to Gerard than anything should and he gasped ever so quietly as he gazed at Frank with sparkling eyes. “I want you to come back to my place.”

“What?” Frank’s eyebrows rose in surprise though he couldn’t stop the shiver of delight that ran through his whole body. Gerard looked ridiculously sexy that night and he knew if he went home with him he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from going too far. “Gee I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Gerard mewled, his face a picture of horror and he leant closer to Frank, mewling as he pressed a tiny peck to his lips. “I want you to come back... Frank I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you... about... about how good I wanna make you feel.” He breathed, his voice a husky growl as his body tingled all over. Even Frank had to take a moment to compose after a particularly strong tug of pleasure yanked in his groin.

“Really?” He breathed, his head growing hot as he closed his eyes and imagined for just a second how it would feel to pin Gerard to his bed and just do all the things he’d wanted to since the moment he’d seen him. “But I thought... You said you wanted to wait...”

“I did but I... I changed my mind.” Gerard confessed, blushing slightly in embarrassment. “I decided I trust you when you say we could still consider a relationship.” He mumbled, lowering his gaze shyly but Frank only grinned a beaming smile at him.

“Thank God.” He smirked, laughing as Gerard peeked up at him and he stole a quick kiss. “I meant it when I said I want to consider a relationship with you... But I can’t pretend I haven’t been able to stop fantasising about you.” He smirked, going to kiss Gerard again when they were interrupted by a soft cough beside them.

Gerard jumped and blushed fiercely as he glanced at the waitress who was blushing a bright red across her entire face. Frank sat back in his chair, his hand slowly sliding off Gerard’s as he bit back his laughter and softly thanked the flustered girl as she hurriedly put down their cheesecakes and coffees.

“I – Is that everything?” She squeaked, clutching the now empty tray to her chest with a shaky smile. Frank had to bite his tongue to stop himself from falling about laughing as he nodded.

“Yes, thank you.” He grinned, his voice strained from the effort of holding back his laughter. As soon as the poor girl had scuttled away Frank fell about laughing, though Gerard only continued to look mortified. He had been completely lost in his own little bubble with Frank... That poor waitress. She didn’t look much older than seventeen, she was probably scarred for life.

“Oh Gerard...” Frank chuckled, taking his hand and squeezing softly to comfort him. “Don’t look so horrified.” He smirked, shaking his head fondly as he quickly kissed Gerard’s knuckles.

“How much do you think she heard?” Gerard whimpered, Frank chuckling as he shrugged. 

“Does it matter?” He smirked, sliding Gerard’s cheesecake towards him before grabbing his own. “She’ll forget soon enough.” He promised, Gerard giving him a sceptical look, but not even the thought of some teenage girl hearing their seductive conversation could distract him from the way Frank was delicately eating his cheesecake, his eyes boring into Gerard’s. 

Gerard swallowed thickly and slowly picked up his fork to dig into his own dessert, Frank smiling softly at him. He had a devilish glint in his eyes and Gerard tingled all over at the thought of what Frank could be planning. Gerard just couldn’t wait to get him home.

xXx

“Mmph... We really gonna do this?” Frank groaned, kissing Gerard with more hunger as he gripped and tugged at his hair. Gerard moaned a little into Frank’s mouth, his cock twitching as he sat up on his elbows and nodded shakily. 

“Mm... Mhmm... God, yes.” He gasped, his body already on fire. 

It hadn’t taken the men long to get here after reaching Gerard’s apartment. After Frank had discovered that Gerard was already giving up on his abstinence he had been desperate to get him naked and just show him how much of a good decision he had made. Frank wasn’t trying to take advantage of him, he got plenty of sex as it was, but having sex with someone you had chosen yourself was completely different. Frank wanted to have sex with Gerard because he wanted to make _him_ feel good. And although they had agreed they needed to just keep getting to know each other before diving into a relationship Frank had already made his mind up that he wanted Gerard as his boyfriend.

“Are you sure?” Frank asked breathlessly, already kissing over Gerard’s neck as he worked his tattooed hands beneath the fitted shirt the older man was wearing. Gerard tensed and then relaxed, his skin tingling wherever Frank touched as he nodded. 

“Yes... God, yes Frank I’m sure.” He whimpered, his cock already achingly hard in his jeans. He was a little embarrassed he had got hard so quickly but he had fantasised about this for years. Every video he had watched of Franks, every wet dream those videos had caused... nothing could have prepared him for how good it felt to have Frank ravishing him like this.

“Mm... Okay...” Frank grinned, ecstatic that Gerard wasn’t going to back out. He couldn’t wait to just strip him down and have his way with him. “Lie back...” He purred, nibbling on Gerard’s ear. 

Gerard did as he was told and squeezed his eyes shut, surrendering himself to Frank’s wishes. His heart was pounding erratically in his chest and he was still terrified he wasnt going to be good enough, but it was difficult to worry about that when Frank was sucking on a particularly sensitive part of his neck. 

“Mm, you said you’ve never been bottom before, right?” Frank asked huskily as he began sliding Gerard’s shirt up, the older man nodding tensely. “Do you wanna try it?” Frank sat back to lift Gerard’s shirt over his head and drop it to the floor before he grabbed his own shirt and yanked it off. 

Gerard was momentarily distracted by Frank’s tattooed torso on show to him. He had seen it plenty of times in videos and pictures but right there in front of him... where he could hear his breathing, see his chest moving with each breath, could reach out and feel his warmth...

“Gerard?” Frank couldn’t help but smirk as he realised Gerard had got completely distracted. He had been with plenty of guys who called him sexy or gave him an appreciative glance, but he had never had anyone stare at him with such a mesmerised look before; it made his heart flutter and melt. “Do you wanna try being bottom?” 

“Oh I... Um...”Gerard’s eyes grew wide as Frank’s question sank in and his heart skipped a beat. He gazed at Frank with slightly horrified eyes, not sure what to say. He had had plenty of moments in life when he’d wondered how it might feel to submit to a man like that, and the thought did make his cock twitch with interest, but he had never done it before... He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle the pain. 

Frank gazed at Gerard for a moment before he giggled and smiled warmly, cupping his face to draw him up for a tender kiss.

“Mm... It’s okay. Forget it.” He purred, realising that Gerard just grew numb with fear at the thought of losing his anal virginity and Frank wasn’t about to force him into it. He had been terrified the first time too, and he knew that if they got into a committed relationship eventually Gerard would reach a point where he was comfortable enough to give it a go.

“I’m sorry.” Gerard mewled as Frank began kissing down his neck again, Gerard’s face red with embarrassment. He wondered if Frank was very disappointed... He wanted to impress him, he wanted to do what Frank wanted him to but... but bottoming... Gerard just couldn’t launch into something like that. “I... I could give it a go if you wanted.” He whispered, but it was clear in his voice how much it frightened him and Frank smiled warmly as he shook his head.

“No. It’s okay, Gee it doesn’t bother me at all.” He promised, moving to delicately kiss Gerard’s lips, starting to slowly rub his hips over his to distract him with pleasure again. “I want to make you feel good baby... Uhh... Gonna make you feel so good...” He purred, his voice growing breathy and raspy with pleasure as he ground down over Gerard, and not even in his tense embarrassment could Gerard stop his cock from twitching.

“Frank...” He mewled, wanting to apologise again for not being able to bottom for him. Wanting to explain. But deep down he knew that Frank understood already, and if the look on his face was anything to go by then he wasn’t all that bothered anyway. He certainly seemed to be enjoying himself... But then he was a porn actor. He could just be faking it...

“You’re tense...” Frank sighed, starting to kiss down Gerard’s body as he pushed him onto his back again. He kept his kisses light, a tattooed hand trailing down to rub over Gerard’s length that was straining in his jeans. “What’s wrong?” 

“N – Nothing...” Gerard breathed, his body blushing red as his blood began to boil. Frank’s hand on his cock was making him shiver and tingle with pleasure, his head spinning. He couldn’t believe this was happening... 

“Tell me.” Frank pushed, gazing up at Gerard as he slid his tongue down past his navel. “I can’t make you feel good if you’re not relaxed...” He pointed out innocently, Gerard almost laughing a little at that as he arched his back.

“I dunno... You’re doing a pretty good job so far.” He smirked, Frank chuckling softly as he licked right down to Gerard’s jeans before he sat up, refusing to go any further until Gerard told him what was making him so tense. Gerard met his gaze and blushed deeply, sighing as Frank asked him again to tell him. 

“I was just over thinking things that’s all...” 

“What do you mean?” Frank mewled, tilting his head to the side, his hand still slowly rubbing against the bulge in Gerard’s pants. “Over thinking what?” 

“Just... Just how... I dunno...” Gerard blushed deeply and squeezed his eyes shut, knowing he had to be honest if this was going to work. He had too many lies to keep track of as it was. 

“I wanna make you feel good too but I’m just worried I won’t know how because I’m not as experienced as the men you’ve probably slept with and you could just fake it and I wouldn’t even know.” Gerard’s words tumbled from his lips in a mad rush, but Frank understood him well enough and he blushed as he moved his hand away from him. Hearing that was kind of a mood killer.

“Because of the porn thing?” He asked softly, Gerard too embarrassed to meet his gaze as he nodded. 

Frank sighed and ran a hand through his hair, considering all of that for a moment. It seemed so absurd to him that Gerard would feel this way, but as he considered it he supposed he could understand. Gerard was self conscious and shy and Frank was a porn star... Of course Gerard would feel like he wasn’t good enough.

“Gerard...” Frank sighed, gently leaning over Gerard to peck his lips before he sat back and began to undo his jeans. “The experienced men you assume I’ve slept with were just porn actors, just like me. They faked it, just like me. I don’t care if you’re the most inexperienced guy in the world I want to have sex with _you_ , and that alone is going to make you better than any guy I acted with.” He promised, smirking as he felt Gerard’s cock twitch beneath him. He was thrilled that Gerard was still hard, he wanted to clear up all these self doubts quickly so they could finally have some fun.

“And for the record, I promise you that no matter what when we’re together I will never fake pleasure.” He added, his words a soft purr as he yanked his jeans open and moved to slide them off. He smirked as Gerard’s eyes grew wide, listening and watching intently.

“When I’m doing a shoot, I get myself hard before I go on set so the guy doesn’t have the pressure of trying to turn me on. That’s how we all do it.” Frank shrugged, slowly sliding down his boxers, Gerard watching with wide eyes and watering mouth as Frank’s erection sprang free. “Sometimes I have to take Viagra if I’m just really not in the mood.” He added, dropping his boxers to the floor before just kneeling over Gerard, arms at his sides, allowing him to gaze at his body.

“But this,” he sighed, indicating his pulsing erection which was standing proudly to attention, curving up towards his stomach, “this I can’t fake.” He purred, slowly reaching out to take Gerard’s hand and guide it to his cock, Gerard gasping as he wrapped his hand around it, Frank’s eyes closing in delight. “

How do you think I managed this without touching myself if you weren’t pleasuring me huh?” He purred, Gerard sighing as he slowly began to pump his hand down Frank’s length, his instincts taking over as he felt it thick and throbbing in his hand. He’d wanted this for so long... Had dreamt about how this might feel... And now his head was spinning with the ferocity of his lust.

“Unn.... Fuck... You turn me on Gerard, don’t ever doubt that.” Frank groaned, pushing his hips forward to fuck into Gerard’s pumping hand and feeling pleasure spark up his spine. “Oh God...” He sighed, leaning down to start undoing Gerard’s jeans as he slowly thrust his hips. Already his lust was climbing fast, no matter how many times he had sex for the cameras it could never live up to how it felt to be touched by someone he really wanted to be with.

Spurred on by Frank’s moans and the pulsing of his cock Gerard forced his nerves down and lifted his hips to allow Frank to drag his jeans down his legs. Once he was naked too Frank pushed his hand off his erection and laid over Gerard to start rubbing their cocks together, thrusting his hips back and forth over Gerard’s and causing them both to moan.

Frank could feel that Gerard had relaxed again and he groaned in quiet delight, pleased that he’d managed to make him realise how much he wanted him even if it was just for now. He knew that they were going to have to sit and talk about things properly afterwards, he knew his job was always going to cause these kinds of problems... but in that moment he just wanted to sate both their lusts.

“Do you have any condoms?” He panted softly as he continued grinding over Gerard, both their cocks twitching and Gerard had started to leak pre cum. 

“Uh... I – In the drawer...” Gerard groaned, waving his hand towards his bedside cabinet, groaning from lack of contact as Frank moved to grab one of the little packets from inside the top drawer along with a bottle of lube. He was glad Gerard had some; Frank always kept a condom on him but he only brought lube if sex seemed likely... When he had been getting ready for their date he had assumed sex would be extremely unlikely after Gerard’s wish to get to know each other first. Frank was just thrilled he had changed his mind.

Gerard watched through half lidded eyes as Frank snapped open the lube and poured some of the gel like substance onto his fingers. He flashed Gerard a devilish grin before he bent down, kneeling so that his ass was in the air and his chest was pressed between Gerard’s legs, giving him no other choice other than to take Gerard’s cock into his mouth.

Gerard gasped and released a moan so loud he flushed in embarrassment and quickly covered his mouth in surprise. He felt Frank chuckle around him before he started to suck and bob his head, his hand with the lube moving behind himself so he could start pressing his fingers against his ass to prep himself.

Gerard shuddered in shock and delight as Frank sucked wetly around his swollen length, his body growing hot as pleasure soared through him. He wondered fleetingly whether he should be the one prepping Frank but in the end he couldn’t find the strength to sit up and offer when Frank was making him feel so good.

Gerard had always known that Frank would have a lot of experience, but he couldn’t quite believe how much pleasure the younger man was inflicting. He was doing things with his tongue that Gerard wasn’t even sure was possible and soon enough he could feel his orgasm building. 

“F – Frank... Fuck... Frank stop...” He gasped, Frank slowing right down though he didn’t stop entirely, gazing at Gerard through his lashes with a playful sparkle in his eyes as he slowly drew back. He used his free hand to grasp Gerard’s erection and smooth his foreskin up and over the head, leaning down to ever so delicately tease the foreskin, causing a muted pleasure that had Gerard panting before Frank drew the skin back down and flicked his tongue around the coronal ridge, causing a much sharper pleasure which made Gerard’s toes curl.

“F – Frank...” He choked, knowing that if he didn’t stop now he was going to cum right then and there. Frank could feel that his cock was pulsing much more frequently now and he was well aware of what that meant without Gerard needing to tell him. He smirked as he sat back and licked his lips, it taking Gerard a moment to think straight again and he realised that now he could see both of Frank’s hands the man must have been done prepping himself.

Gerard felt dizzy as he watched Frank tearing open the condom packet with his teeth before resting it above Gerard’s erection. He leant down to meet his lips in a soft but passionate kiss, rolling the rubber down Gerard’s length with a practised hand. Gerard thought fleetingly how he wished they could fuck bare, he wanted to feel all of Frank... But their health was much more important.

“You ready?” Frank asked huskily as he placed a knee on either side of Gerard’s hips and raised himself so that he was positioned above his erection. Gerard nodded eagerly and held the base of his cock to help guide the tip to Frank’s entrance.

“Are you?” He asked softly, Frank smirking softly at him as he pressed down just far enough to get the head of Gerard’s cock pressing against his ass before he paused for a second.

“I’m always ready.” He winked, Gerard smirking at him for a second before he gasped as Frank slid down onto his length.

Frank sighed and tipped his head back as he felt his muscles relaxing, his body opening up for Gerard’s girth as he sank down over his erection. Sometimes he forgot how good it could feel to be doing this, it was so different to when he did it for his job and he moaned softly as he began to lift and lower himself over and over again.

Gerard instinctively lay his hands on Frank’s hips to help him move as he began to ride him, Gerard’s abdomen swirling and tugging with pleasure as his cock twitched inside the younger man. He couldn’t believe this was happening... All the times he had watched videos of Frank getting fucked, all the times he had imagined how it would feel to be able to do this himself... And now he was. He just couldn’t think straight, all he could do was feel the immense pleasure coursing through his body like electricity, making his skin prickle and sweat glaze over his flesh.

“Hnngh.... Mm... That’s it...” Frank sighed, his voice strained with pleasure as he bounced over Gerard’s cock. His own erection was starting to weep pre cum as he alternated between rubbing his hips back and forth and then lowering them up and down. Every muscle inside him was pulsing rhythmically, his cock twitching as he felt his pleasure building at an impossible pace. Gerard may not have been the most experienced man he had ever been with but that didn’t mean he was inexperienced... in fact, Frank was stunned by how quickly he could feel his orgasm building.

Gerard groaned as he bucked his hips up, meeting Frank’s own thrusts and using his hands on his hips to help him move. Together they developed a rhythm that had them both losing all coherent thoughts, moaning and whispering husky words of encouragement to each other as they moved.

Gerard was astounded to hear Frank moaning and moving with such delight, and even without Frank’s promise not to fake it he could tell it was real. Sweat was rolling down the side of Frank’s neck and his cock was red and weeping pre cum. Gerard just wanted to taste all of it.

“Fuck... Fuck... M’so close...” He groaned, knowing he wasn’t going to hold on much longer. Frank nodded and gave a strained ‘me too’ before reaching down to grasp his own erection and start rubbing his hand frantically up and down it to bring himself to the edge too.

Gerard held on for as long as he could, thrusting his hips up over and over until Frank was bouncing on him just from the force of his thrusts. His inner channel was beginning to clench around Gerard from his approaching orgasm and just as Frank was letting go Gerard’s hands dug tight into his hips as he arched his back and cried out in delight.

“O – Oh... Fuck, yes... Yes, that’s it...” Frank moaned, the sight of Gerard giving into his pleasure helping tip Frank over the edge and he pumped his hand faster over his length as he spilt his own release.

Gerard shuddered as he thrust a couple more times before slumping into the bed, watching through lust hazed eyes as Frank squeezed the last drop of cum from his cock, the drop joining the rest of the creamy substance which had shot over Gerard’s stomach. 

Frank sighed and hissed slightly as he lifted himself off Gerard’s softening cock and tugged the condom off him for him. He tied a knot in it quickly and tossed it to the floor before collapsing down onto Gerard’s chest and cuddling up close to him. 

“God...” Gerard breathed, panting softly as he wrapped his arms around Frank and tugged the covers up over them. Frank smiled dreamily and tilted his head up to kiss Gerard softly, tangling their legs and smiling as Gerard sighed into his mouth.

“You were amazing...” Frank purred, Gerard flushing with delight and he held Frank closer, kissing him delicately again. 

“So were you.” He smiled shyly, sighing as he snuggled up with the younger man under the covers. “I’m so glad I changed my mind.” He giggled, Frank laughing breathlessly with him as he nodded his head, his body still tingling in the afterglow of an incredible orgasm.

“Me too sugar.” He grinned, smirking as he pecked Gerard’s lips again. “Now I just have to persuade you to be my boyfriend.” He whispered huskily, Gerard’s eyes growing wide.


	10. Chapter ten

Frank yawned and stretched, groaning as he rubbed a hand over his eyes. Gerard’s phone was buzzing again, abandoned on the floor somewhere amidst his clothes. This was the third time it had rang this morning and Frank was starting to get sick of hearing it. All he wanted to do was snuggle up to his new found lover and kiss his neck until he woke up.

Frank sighed and slowly turned to look at Gerard, smiling fondly at him. The older man was sprawled out on the bed, not unlike the first morning Frank had woken up beside him, the artist possessing all the sleeping grace of a sheep. Frank just wanted to kiss him over and over.

The phone finally stopped vibrating against the carpet and Frank sighed as he slithered out of bed. He stretched again as he trotted to the bathroom, the pressure on his bladder no longer at a level where he could ignore it. Besides, it didn’t look like Gerard was going to wake up any time soon, so Frank decided he would seize the moment to make him breakfast in bed.

When Frank walked out of the bathroom the phone was ringing again and he rolled his eyes as he stooped down to find it in the pocket of Gerard’s jeans. The guy was seriously popular this morning... Frank guessed it was probably Brian ringing to see how the date went. 

Frank managed to find the phone and he glanced at Gerard’s sleeping form for a second before he smiled and tiptoed out of the bedroom to make his way to the kitchen. The cell was still vibrating against his palm and he glanced down to check the caller ID. 

_Mikey._

Frank didn’t recognise the name... He was pretty sure Gerard had never mentioned anyone called Mikey before. Perhaps it was someone from work... This was the fourth time he was calling so Frank guessed it must be important. Or what if it was some other guy Gerard was seeing? Or a crazy stalker ex? Frank smirked and hit the answer button as he sauntered over to the coffee machine; if it was a crazy stalker ex then he could have some fun with this. 

“Hello you’ve reached the phone of Gerard Way, this is Frank speaking.” He purred into the phone in his best ‘upper class’ accent. He leant down to examine the coffee machine as he waited a response, finding the on button and pressing it.

“Hi uh... Wait, what? Who is this?” A voice demanded. The voice was male, young, a little irritated sounding... Frank smirked and leant against the counter, examining his nails as the coffee machine hummed to life. 

“Frank. I’m Gerard’s-” Frank hesitated, suddenly not knowing what to say. He was Gerard’s... what? Lover? Boyfriend? Fuck buddy? Friend? Acquaintance? “Uh...”

“... You’re Gerard’s?” The voice at the other end of the phone repeated softly, confusion strong in his tone. “Oh God, you’ve had sex with him haven’t you?” He suddenly gasped and Frank blushed as he heard whoever this person was hopping about and giving retching noises down the line.

“Who is this?” Frank demanded, suddenly not feeling very amused anymore. 

“Eugh, God! I can’t believe you... eugh... Why would you even answer his phone!?” 

“Because this is like the fourth time you called and I thought maybe it was important.” Frank snapped, pouting moodily. “I don’t know who you are, what are you like an ex boyfriend or something?” He scoffed, the other person falling silent. Frank blinked stupidly and raised his eyebrows. Oh... It seemed he had hit the nail on the head. “You are, aren’t you?” He breathed, feeling a sudden surge of anger and... Was that jealousy?

“Ex... Oh God, are you kidding me? Eugh, no! I’m his little brother you freak!” The voice was back, indignant and disgusted and it took Frank a long moment for his words to sink in.

“His... Oh wow! He never told me he has a little brother.” He gasped, a grin splitting his features. The thought of Gerard having a younger sibling was, for some reason, damn adorable. “How old are you?”

“Twenty three, why?” The voice asked slowly, Frank smirking.

“No reason...”

“How old are you?” The voice shot back.

“Twenty two.” Frank shrugged, Mikey scoffing down the phone.

“Nice, he’s even fucking guys younger than me now.” He muttered, Frank blushing deeply. 

“What?” He whispered, glancing round the door to make sure there was no sign of Gerard. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He demanded, a long pause following before Mikey answered.

“Nothing just... I dunno, I assume you don’t plan on sticking around do you?” He asked, Frank frowning.

“What? Stick around where?”

“With Gerard.” Mikey scoffed as if it should be obvious. “He’s had about a million one night stands since his boyfriend left him when he was nineteen.” He said simply, Frank feeling the colour drain from his face as he leant against the kitchen work top.

“I... He... He never said...” He whispered, his heart hammering as his stomach sank. A million one night stands? Obviously that was an exaggeration but he’d had no idea Gerard had one night stands at all let alone a lot of them. And he hadn’t had a boyfriend since he was nineteen? Why? Why didn’t any of the one night stands stick around? Or was it that Gerard never wanted them to? 

“Well sure, he’s not exactly gonna bring it up in casual conversation is he?” Mikey pointed out, Frank blushing and running a hand through his hair.

“But I... He said he wanted a relationship with me.” He breathed, starting to feel terrified that he’d been used. He couldn’t imagine that a guy as sweet and anxious as Gerard would ever just fuck him and then run. Why would he have made such a big deal out of sleeping with him if he was just after a one night stand? But then... Frank had been with all kinds of guys and he knew all too well that men were capable of weaving intricate lies to get what they wanted without anyone else suspecting a thing. Was that what Gerard had done? Was this shy exterior all a ruse?

“He said that?” Mikey’s voice broke Frank away from his thoughts, though it couldn’t stop the terror gripping him. “And you want that to? You’re not just using him?” He demanded, Frank scowling.

“Of course I’m not! Who the fuck are you to assume what I do or don’t want from him?” He snapped, Mikey falling silent for a long moment.

“He’s my brother, I’m just looking out for him.” He said softly, before sighing. “I’m sorry, I’ve said too much. Is Gerard there, I want to talk to him?” 

“He’s sleeping.” Frank growled, deciding he didn’t like this Mikey guy, even if he was Gerard’s brother. “I’ll have him call you back.” He snapped before hanging up before Mikey could say another word. 

Frank tossed the phone onto the kitchen worktop and folded his arms tight across his chest with an agitated sigh. He knew he shouldn’t get pissed off and just wait until he could talk to Gerard about all that Mikey had said but knowing that didn’t make it easy. Frank was a hot headed kinda guy, he wasn’t one to tiptoe delicately around any subject.

Frank jumped as the coffee machine broke him out of his thoughts with a cheery _ping_ and he turned with a grumble to fill his cup. He didn’t feel like making Gerard breakfast anymore, in fact, he didn’t even feel like staying. If all Gerard had wanted was a one night stand then he never wanted to see the artist again.

Frank stood tensely against the counter, sipping his coffee and trying to make sense of what Mikey had said. No matter how much he thought about it he couldn’t think of any point where Gerard had shown himself to be anything other than the shy, adorable artist Frank had thought he was. Either Mikey was wrong or Gerard was a _really_ good liar.

“Frankie?” Frank jumped when Gerard suddenly appeared in the doorway, yawning and rubbing his hair with one hand and his eyes with the other. “Hey...”

“Hey.” Frank mumbled back, putting down his mug as his heart raced. He hadn’t even heard Gerard get up. 

“Have you seen my phone?” Gerard asked through a yawn, smiling as he moved his hands away from his face and gazed at Frank, stood in all his naked glory against his kitchen counter. He was so gorgeous it was all Gerard could do to stop himself getting aroused again.

“Oh, yeah. Your brother called.” Frank picked up Gerard’s cell and handed it to him with a small frown. “I told him you’d call him back.”

“Oh... Okay, thanks.” Gerard put his phone back down again and looked nervously at Frank. The younger man was looking kind of pissed off, but Gerard couldn’t understand why. “Err... Is something wrong?” He asked timidly, Frank glancing at him from the corner of his eyes.

“I had an interesting conversation with your brother, that’s all.” He said a little stiffly, some of his anger melting away whilst he was faced with Gerard’s frightened look. He couldn’t believe that this man would use him... He just looked too sweet.

“I... You... About what?” Gerard asked, utterly confused. Why would Frank and Mikey have a conversation at all? And what could Mikey have possibly said to make Frank look so angry? “Frank?”

“I... It doesn’t even matter.” Frank sighed, trying to push it away. He didn’t want to ruin what should have been a perfect morning after.

“Yes it does.” Gerard pushed, stepping closer to Frank and trying to take his hand. “What did he say to you? Whatever it was I’m sorry, he doesn’t normally say anything... Bad.” Gerard blushed, wondering what it could have been that Mikey had said.

Frank sighed and hesitated before slowly meeting Gerard’s gaze, looking into his eyes and seeing nothing but genuine concern. Maybe he was over reacting... He didn’t want to upset Gerard by bringing it up if it was nothing important, but he supposed if Gerard had had the decency to be honest with him the night before about worrying about Frank faking his arousal, then he should have the same decency now.

 

“I... Okay. We need to talk.” He confessed, feeling more of his iciness melt away at the look of utter horror that crossed Gerard’s face. “Let me put some clothes on first.” Frank squeezed Gerard’s hands and then promptly walked away to get changed, leaving the older man looking terrified as he stood in the kitchen.

Gerard glanced at his phone and felt his heart skip a beat. What had Mikey said to Frank? Mikey was a sweet kid, he and Gerard were incredibly close, he never said a bad thing to anyone... Gerard couldn’t imagine what had happened during his conversation with Frank and he felt sick with nerves as he wandered into the living room to sit down on the couch. He knew he would have to call Mikey back as soon as he had finished talking with Frank in case Mikey was upset too.

Gerard sighed and curled his legs up onto the couch, clasping his hands in his lap and staring down at the sweatpants he had thrown on before coming to find Frank. He had been so happy when he woke up, knowing that he hadn’t made a mistake in having sex with Frank and had been eager to give him a good morning kiss and have some breakfast together. This... This he hadn’t been expecting.

“Okay, ready.” Gerard looked up as Frank came back into the living room, wearing his jeans from the night before but no shirt. He sat down next to Gerard on the couch and forced a smile, seeing that Gerard was terrified still. 

“Hey, don’t look so afraid. I’m sure I’m just over reacting.” He said as soothingly as he could... No easy feat when deep down he wanted to just start screaming and shouting at Gerard for using him. He knew from past experience though that his temper always got him into worse situations and if Mikey had been wrong then Gerard was too perfect to lose over a simple misjudgement.

“What’s wrong?” Gerard asked nervously, turning to face Frank properly and searching his eyes with fear gripping tight to his chest. He didn’t know what could be upsetting Frank but what if whatever it was meant that he was going to lose him? Gerard was certain that now he had got a taste for what dating Frank could be like he just wouldn’t cope without him. 

“Well... I’m just gonna come out with it bluntly okay?” Frank sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s easier that way.” He waited until Gerard nodded his understanding before continuing. “I... Are you just using me for sex?” He demanded, regretting it almost immediately at the look on Gerard’s face. 

“I... What?” Gerard’s voice came out as barely a whisper, dread flooding through him like icy water. He couldn’t quite believe what he had just heard... Was Frank being serious? Was that what Mikey had told him?

“Just... Just, your brother mentioned on the phone just... Something about you only ever having one night stands and...” Frank trailed off, blushing as he realised that he had been a complete idiot after all. Gerard’s eyes had filled with tears and it was painfully clear that he had wounded the older man deeply. 

“I... You... He told you that?” Gerard could feel that he had gone paler than usual, and though he tried to remain composed and talk this out properly he just had the ridiculous urge to curl up on the floor and scream. “You... You think you were a one night stand?” He croaked, his eyes wide and vulnerable as he looked at Frank. “After all the dates, and the waiting, and me telling you how much I want a relationship with you? You really think I was lying?” He breathed, Frank blushing and lowering his gaze.

“I... I’m sorry. It was stupid, I should have realised...” He apologised quickly, terrified that he had messed things up completely and that Gerard was going to kick him out or something. Gerard was so different from anyone else Frank had dated, he didn’t want to lose him. Not so early on. 

“It’s just… Your brother said that and I was just shocked because I never imagined you would and I... I’m really sorry Gerard. It’s okay, I know it’s not true now.” He mewled. 

“But I... I just... Why would you think that? What? Did you think I was gonna wake up this morning and tell you to go? Great, got what I wanted, sia Frankie.” He scoffed, growing angry. Frank raised his eyebrows in surprise, his body giving a strange shiver at the anger swirling in Gerard’s eyes.

“I... No, of course not.” He sighed, gazing at Gerard with a growing curiosity. “But... I was talking to Mikey and I just over reacted that’s all.” He apologised, raising an eyebrow at Gerard’s scowl.

“Is this how it’s always going to be? Just one word off someone telling you bullshit and you’re going to assume I’m some kind of asshole?” Gerard snapped, surprising himself with how angry he was. Now he could see Frank wasn’t about to walk out on him he was feeling angry that he had even brought this up in the first place. Gerard didn’t want Frank to just suddenly stop trusting him at the drop of a hat, not when he wanted to be with him more than anything.

“Look, I over reacted, okay? Because of my job I have a lot of guys using me, ya’ know? Men seem to think because I have sex for a living it means they can just fuck me and leave me without a moment’s notice.” Frank snapped back, sitting up straighter and folding his arms as he glared at Gerard. “I know you’re not like that, but when Mikey said you haven’t been in a relationship since you were nineteen fucking years old I panicked, okay!?” 

“I... He told you that?” Gerard’s anger suddenly disappeared as quickly as it had come, his face draining of colour again and Frank raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I... Why... Why did he bring that up?” He whimpered, moving back a little as if he was suddenly afraid of Frank. 

“I... He mentioned it just in conversation.” Frank said slowly, his arms moving to rest back by his sides as his muscles relaxed and he slumped down a little. He felt like he was intimidating Gerard, the older man taking on a frightened look again. “I told him how I wanted to be with you and he just sorta mentioned it, it’s not a big deal Gerard.” He mewled, crawling over to Gerard and gently touching his hands. “What is it?”

“I can’t believe he told you.” Gerard sighed, looking down at his hands in Frank’s. “You must think I’m an idiot.” He whispered, Frank frowning and shifting closer to Gerard, moving until he was sat in his lap, his legs wrapped around his waist.

“What? Why would I think that?” He asked quietly, gently cupping Gerard’s face and tilting his head up to look at him. “Why would I think that Gerard?”

“Because... I’m twenty six years old and haven’t had a boyfriend in seven years...” Gerard mumbled, blushing furiously. It always sounded worse when he said it out loud. 

“So?” Frank chuckled, finding it adorable that Gerard was self conscious about it. “It sounds like you had no problem in finding men...” He pointed out delicately, trying to show Gerard that he didn’t care if he’d had a million one night stands so long as he wasn’t one too. 

Gerard blushed furiously and lowered his head again, frowning down at his lap. “Well sure, but it probably says a lot about me that none of those guys stuck around.” He pointed out sulkily, Frank raising his eyebrows in slight surprise.

“You mean... You mean you weren’t just using those guys yourself?” He asked softly, Gerard looking up at him in surprise. 

“Is that what you thought?” He asked quietly, feeling his heart sink. Of course, he knew deep down it was kind of true. Every man Gerard had ever slept with since he was nineteen had been a quick fuck just to get it out of his system. Each of them had _known_ it was all he was after and they had been using him just as much, but that was only because he had spent the last few years wanting no one but Frank. He couldn’t admit that of course. 

“Well, that’s kind of how Mikey made it sound.” Frank said slowly, before thinking back to the anger in Mikey’s voice and blushing. “Or... Actually, now I think about it, he could have been implying that _I_ was using _you_.” He admitted quietly, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid as Gerard gazed at him with those sweet, hazel eyes. 

“God, I’m sorry Gee, I’ve been so stupid.” Frank groaned, bowing his head.

Gerard felt his heart skip a beat and he automatically wrapped his arms around Frank, gently drawing him closer and hugging him tight. “No you haven’t... I should have told you about my past.” He whispered, though he knew that he would never have mentioned all his one night stands if he could have helped it. “Mikey’s a good kid really, he just... He hates that I haven’t been able to find a relationship in so long.”

“I’m sorry Gee,” Frank mewled, cuddling Gerard close and kissing the side of his neck where he buried his face. “I should have waited for you to clear things up before getting mad; You’ve been hurt so much and I just made it worse.” 

“Hey, what? Who’s been hurt?” Gerard mewled, cupping Frank’s face and moving so he would look at him again. “I haven’t been hurt.” He said soothingly, pecking Frank’s lips.

“But all these years... men just leaving after they had sex with you. No wonder you wanted to wait.” Frank mewled, hiding his face in Gerard’s neck again but this time the older man just let him as his cheeks blazed red. He felt a stab of guilt in his chest and he had to take a moment to compose himself again. He hadn’t meant to make it sound like he’d been heart broken by all these men, he hadn’t wanted relationships with them, they hadn’t meant anything. 

“Frankie... Frank, I was never hurt.” He mewled, knowing he already had too many lies to keep hold of as it was without allowing Frank to believe he was some victim. “All the one night stands I had... I... I always knew that was all they were after. But I didn’t mind because I was waiting for the right guy to come along before I got into a relationship.” He explained quickly, Frank tensing as he slowly peeked up at Gerard.

“I... Really? Then why do you want to have a relationship with me?” He asked softly, sitting up so he could look at Gerard properly, the artist now wide eyed and bright red. 

“I... I... Well I...” Gerard didn’t quite know what to say. He couldn’t be honest... He couldn’t tell Frank he had been unable to find any man good enough because he was so incredibly obsessed with his videos that he was determined to be only with him, or someone just like him. 

Frank waited for Gerard to answer, smirking when he saw the older man was just getting gradually more flustered. He felt his own heart racing erratically as he realised that out of all the men that had shown Gerard an interest for the past seven years, he was the only one that Gerard had wanted a relationship with.

“Gee...” Frank giggled, trying not to squeal and flap his hands about like some sort of ridiculous school girl. “Why me? What makes me so special?” He giggled, Gerard blushing though he smiled softly at Frank.

“I... You’re just different.” Gerard whispered, biting his lip when he saw that Frank was clearly not mad anymore. He felt himself relaxing as he a result, hoping they had got over that sticky patch and he smiled shyly. “I don’t know what it is... Just from the second I met you, I knew I wanted to get to know you.” 

“I guessed as much...” Frank purred, slowly sliding his hands up Gerard’s chest and wrapping his arms around his neck. “I knew you had to have some interest in me to agree to come and see me at my signing desk at the expo.” He smirked, leaning forward to ever so gently brush his lips across Gerard’s. “And for the record... You’re the first man I’ve asked out since I was eighteen.” 

“I... Really?” Gerard breathed, shocked and he smiled uncertainly as Frank pulled back to grin at him.

“Uhuh.” He nodded, idly drawing patterns on Gerard’s naked chest. “As soon as I got into the ‘business’ I never had to ask anyone out because men always asked me...” He shrugged, gazing at Gerard through his lashes. “But when I met you I knew I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t try to score at least one date with you.” He purred, smiling at how adorable Gerard looked as he blushed.

“Well... I’m thrilled you did.” He whispered, Frank giggling as he leant forward and gently captured Gerard’s lips with his own. Gerard sighed and melted against the couch, lifting a hand to rest against Frank’s cheek as he worked his lips against his slow and delicate...

“Mm... I never thought,” Frank whispered as he slowly pulled back from Gerard’s soft, warm lips. “That scoring one date would get me more... You’re so different to all the other men I’ve dated Gerard.” He sighed, touching his forehead to the older man’s and gently smoothing his thumb against his collar bone. “I really want to stop talking about considering a relationship and just do it Gee... I want you to be my boyfriend.” He mewled; giggling a little though inside he was shaking with nerves. He had never had to be the one to make it official either, but he understood that Gerard wouldn’t have the courage to do it himself.

Gerard gazed at Frank with wide eyes, his lips parted in surprise. Hearing Frank say those words was more than he could ever have dreamt of and for a moment all he could do was squeeze his eyes shut and think back to all the times he had watched his videos, or gazed at his photos, and wished with all his body and soul that he could have at least one night with Frank. To hear him ask for a relationship, for his words to hold the promise of many more nights as perfect as the one before, it made Gerard’s heart swell with delight and beat harsh against his ribs.

“Frankie... I would love that.” He finally managed to choke out, trembling as he cupped Frank’s face and tugged him gently back into a kiss. He couldn’t think straight anymore, his mind was reeling with the word _boyfriend_ whilst every cell inside him sprouted legs and asses and began doing some sort of happy dance akin to a booty pop.

Frank giggled against Gerard’s lips and smiled as he leant against him, holding him close and kissing him with a gentle passion. He was relieved that they had managed to do this without having a full blown row, and he made a mental note not to let his temper get the better of him whilst he was with Gerard. It was clear that Gerard wouldn’t be able to rise to Frank’s temper... Although, he had had that moment of anger himself.

“Frankie... We’re okay now, right?” Gerard sighed as he slowly drew back from Frank’s lips, gazing at him nervously though he relaxed when he saw the younger man’s warm smile.

“Of course we are.” He said genuinely, leaning in to kiss Gerard again and smiling as he felt Gerard relax. “Listen, I’m gonna make us some breakfast. How about you call Mikey back?” He suggested as he leant back again, Gerard smiling warmly and nodding.

“Okay...” He agreed softly, stealing another quick kiss from Frank before he got to his feet to go and call Mikey. 

xXx

“Gee? Hey, I was hoping you’d call.” Mikey beamed as he answered his phone. He was sat outside, doodling idly on the front of his folder as he killed time before his next lecture. 

“Yeah, Frank told me you wanted me to call you back.” 

“Yeah, who was that guy who answered your cell this morning?” 

“It was uh... Frank.” Gerard smirked, Mikey tutting and rolling his eyes.

“Yeah I got his name alright.” He scoffed, laying his pen down so he could concentrate on Gerard. “But who is he? Is he just another one night stand?” He demanded, Gerard scowling from where he was currently sat on his bed in his apartment where Frank would hopefully not hear his conversation.

“No, he’s not. He’s my boyfriend. And thank you, by the way, for almost ruining that by telling him all about my past.” He snapped, though he kept his voice quiet, wanting the conversation to be kept private from Frank.

“I... He... What? He’s your boyfriend?” Mikey gasped back, almost dropping his files all over the floor. “You didn’t tell me you’d got a boyfriend!”

“Well it’s a err... Relatively new development...” Gerard mumbled, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Since when?” Mikey demanded instantly, able to imagine Gerard’s blush perfectly as his brother fell silent. “Come on Gerard, how long have you guys been together?”

“Well... Officially about...” There was a pause as Gerard glanced at clock. “Twenty minutes.”

“Wow...” Mikey rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to slap his forehead. “Twenty minutes. It must be true love.” 

“We’ve been dating for a few weeks though.” Gerard protested, his voice growing defensive as he scowled. Mikey was never usually like this. “I thought you’d be happy for me, you’ve been on at me to get into a ‘proper’ relationship for years.”

“I know but... I dunno. I just didn’t like the sound of this Frank guy when I spoke to him this morning.” Mikey sighed, Gerard scoffing down the phone.

“Believe me he didn’t like the sound of you either.” He retorted. “He thought I was just using him after speaking to you. I almost lost him because of your big mouth.” He snapped, though his words lacked venom, he could never get properly angry at Mikey.

“I only told him the truth, it’s not my fault he got the wrong idea.” Mikey argued back, running a hand through his hair. “How did you guys end up getting together ‘officially’ if I pissed him off?” He asked.

“It’s a long story.” Gerard said simply, distracted by the soft scent of cooking seeping into the room and his stomach growled. “All you need to know is I’m really happy right now and I want this to work with Frank more than anything so _please_ just forget your call with him this morning and give him another chance.” 

“Alright.” Mikey groaned, knowing that Gerard was old enough to make his own decisions. Besides, if no man had been good enough for him since he was nineteen then he supposed Frank must be something special. “I wanna meet him though, when are you coming to see me next?” He demanded.

“Huh? Oh I dunno, I was gonna swing by in a couple weeks once I’d got most the work on the Breakfast Monkey out of the way.” 

“Great, you can bring Frank with you.” Mikey nodded, Gerard giving a strange choking noise down the phone.

“Whoa, what!? Mikes no, I can’t drag him halfway across the state to spend some time with my baby brother.” He whimpered, Mikey frowning.

“Why not?” He scoffed, getting up as he saw he needed to get moving to his lecture. “If he’s some great guy then I’m sure he won’t complain.” He said innocently.

“That’s not the point, he shouldn’t have to come.”

“Well how else am I gonna meet him?” 

“Well... Why don’t you just wait until you come home for one of your breaks.”

“I wanna meet him before then.” Mikey insisted, smirking as he knew he was making Gerard squirm. “Listen, I have to go, but don’t think this is the end of this conversation! I’m meeting Frank and I’m meeting him soon, don’t make me get grandma involved!”

“Aw Mikeey!” Gerard whined, flopping down onto his bed but Mikey only laughed and hung up before he could protest anymore. “Fuck.” Gerard cursed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. If Mikey told Elena then there’d be no hope. She’d drag Frank over to meet Mikey herself if she had to... Not mention she’d never leave Gerard alone about meeting him either.

Gerard scowled and slid off the bed, sighing and smiling a little fondly. He’d only been with Frank twenty minutes and already he had to consider when he’d be taking him to meet his family. He figured he wouldn’t mention it to Frank just yet though, he didn’t want to scare him away.

Walking back through to the kitchen Gerard found the porn star dancing around to the radio as he made pancakes. There was already a stack of them forming on a plate and Gerard could see that Frank had put bananas in them too. Gerard sighed and felt his heart give a little tug. Banana pancakes... It _had_ to be true love.

“Hey Gee, I was just thinking, don’t you have work at all this morning?” Frank asked as he turned to see Gerard was back, smiling warmly at him. 

“I err... Oh shit.” Gerard glanced at the time and bit his lip. “Yeah I do. Shit. Mikey didn’t even remind me.” He groaned. He had completely forgotten it was a Thursday, after having such a great night with Frank and then the almost-argument that morning he had just sort of assumed it was the weekend. 

“Oh man, do you need to go?” Frank mewled, Gerard shaking his head as he picked up his phone.

“It’s fine, I’ll call Brian and ask him to tell everyone I rang sick this morning.” He blushed, Frank smirking a little at him. He could tell Gerard wasn’t one to break the rules like that easily, and he felt a little flutter knowing he was doing it for him.

“So you’ll have the day off?” He purred, flipping the pancake in the pan over before turning back to Gerard. “How will we fill the day?” He smirked, Gerard smirking back at him as he raised his phone to his ear and walked away to take the call.

“I’m sure we’ll think of something.” He called before disappearing out the doorway to talk to Brian.

“I can think of tons of things.” Frank smirked to himself, starting to dance again as he cooked.


	11. Chapter eleven

Frank nuzzled his face into Gerard’s neck, purring as he licked and bit at the soft skin there, trying to make Gerard moan. 

The two men were locked in Gerard’s office at Cartoon Network, Gerard trying desperately to keep quiet so no one outside would know what was happening behind the closed door. Frank’s hand was pushed deep inside his pants, wrapped around his erection and pumping as much as he could in the confines of the fabric. 

Gerard was determined not to release any moans... Though he had told himself he wouldnt even let Frank tempt him past kissing and yet somehow here they were. The two men had been dating for a month by now, and with Frank’s help Gerard was getting more and more confident in the bedroom with each passing day. He wasn’t sure he was comfortable with fucking in his office though.

“Frankie...” He choked, taking a deep, shuddering breath as he tried to compose. “Frank stop.” He whimpered, his voice weak and despite his words he continued to smooth his hands down Frank’s back to cup beneath his ass and squeeze.

“Mm... Don’t worry, no one will know.” Frank giggled quietly, understanding that Gerard was terrified they’d be caught but the door was locked, and this office was all Gerard’s. Now he had his own cartoon he got his own private space and Frank had always wanted to have sex in an office. A real one, not a fake one for a porn shoot.

“But... But what if... someone hears...” Gerard groaned, unable to stop himself from caressing Frank’s backside through his dark jeans and pulling him closer as he tipped his head to the side to give him more access to his neck.

“I can be quiet.” Frank smirked, twisting his palm around Gerard’s engorged length as he bit down on his ear lobe. “Can you?” He asked huskily, his voice full of amusement and Gerard had to bite down hard on his tongue to stop himself from moaning.

“Probably not...” He confessed breathlessly, Frank giggling as he kissed and nipped along Gerard’s jaw, smoothing his thumb across the head of his cock as he leant closer to kiss him. 

“Maybe I’ll have to gag you.” He whispered playfully, kissing Gerard softly and passionately, smirking at the squeak of surprise Gerard released into his mouth. 

Gerard’s hands clamped down on Frank’s ass as his head spun, the younger man’s words and pumping hand making him feel so hot. He tried to come up with some smart response but all he could do was moan quietly as Frank pushed his tongue into his mouth and shared the taste of the cigarette he had smoked just before.

“Mm... Besides,” He purred as he pulled back from Gerard’s still kissing lips, “We need to celebrate the launch of your pilot episode.” He whispered, referring to the Breakfast Monkey which had been shown on Cartoon Network that morning, and would be played again once in the afternoon and once in the evening. If it went well, then the go ahead would be given for the full series, and Gerard had to admit, Frank’s intentions were helping calm his nerves.

“Couldn’t we... celebrate at home?” He whispered, his voice not shaking so much now that Frank had pulled his hand from out of his pants and was instead working on unbuttoning his shirt.

“We could... But we’ve already started now.” Frank teased, smirking as he kissed Gerard again. “Now stop complaining and enjoy it.” He added sternly, shuffling closer to Gerard, his knees on either side of his thighs, balancing precariously on the edges of the office chair. It was a good job the chair was so big, it meant Gerard was free to open his legs too and once Frank pressed close enough the bulges in their pants rubbed hard together.

“Ooh...” Gerard sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and tilting his head back as Frank began to grind their cocks together. He grinned to see Gerard so turned on and swooped down to kiss against his throat, flicking his tongue over his Adam’s apple before skating his lips down to the dip between his collarbones. 

Gerard arched his back and sighed as Frank pushed the fabric of his shirt open but didn’t remove it, just baring enough of Gerard’s flesh to kiss and suck down his chest and tease his nipples with the point of his tongue. 

Gerard felt his cock twitch and his groin tug deliciously as Frank rubbed against him, his teasing tongue causing Gerard’s nipples to harden and grow more sensitive before Frank sucked at the nubs. The porn star was of course incredible when it came to sex, and even now he still left Gerard amazed even after a month of incredible sex. Whenever they had any time to see each other they did and Gerard was falling for Frank harder every day... He had never been through the “honeymoon phase” before, what with never getting into relationships, and he was really beginning to understand that he’d been missing out.

Over the four incredible weeks that had passed Frank had learnt all the things Gerard liked and even found things Gerard hadn’t even known felt good on his body. And Gerard wasnt enough of a social idiot to have not learnt about Frank’s personal kinks too. As such every time they slept together it just got even better. Not to mention they had learnt about each other outside of the bedroom too... Gerard had never imagined Frank could fit him so perfectly. It was almost as if fate had brought him to Frank’s videos those years ago, like destiny had forced them together... Gerard was now convinced he had never been able to get a boyfriend because his heart could only belong to Frank.

“Mm...”

“What are you thinking about huh?” Frank was smirking when Gerard opened his eyes, the artist not even aware that he had shut them. Frank was pawing at his cock through his trousers again but Gerard had been so lost in his thoughts he had barely noticed. He blushed as Frank giggled, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“I was just... I wasn’t thinking about anything.” Gerard quickly lied, but of course Frank wasn’t buying it.

“Yes you were.” He smirked, sliding his hands up Gerard’s body, torturing him by refusing to touch his aching cock. “Tell me?”

“I... I was just... Thinking about how we met.” Gerard confessed, Frank’s face falling slightly.

“The porn thing again?” He sighed, Gerard blushing deeply. Despite how he hadn’t brought up his concerns over Frank’s career since the first time they’d had sex he knew that Frank could tell it still played on his mind... Not much, just sometimes... Sometimes when he thought about all the men he had seen Frank fuck on camera he wondered again why the porn star would want him. 

“No, not that.” He quickly assured his lover, Frank still not relaxing so Gerard kissed him quickly and then bucked his hips up to rub their bulges together again. “I was just wondering how that weekend in Vegas landed me with such an incredible boyfriend.” He purred, kissing along to Frank’s ear and biting playfully. 

“Oh...” Frank smiled, relaxing and smirking as he gently slapped Gerard’s arm. “Don’t start getting all soppy on me now lover, I want you to fuck me hard on this desk.” He grinned, his eyes flashing deviously and Gerard was hopeless to stop the burst of lust that shot through him. He could never take the power in their sex lives, no matter how much more confident he became or how he sometimes tried to be the dominant one; despite the fact he was the top, Frank still had him completely wrapped around his finger.

“Frankie...” He groaned, not knowing what else to say, his mind in a tailspin as Frank grinned and slid off the chair. He smirked at Gerard as he slowly unbuttoned his jeans and shimmied his hips to make them fall down his legs. He stepped out of them as he hooked his thumb into his underwear, holding Gerard’s gaze as he slowly slid the hemline down, getting about halfway before his erection sprang free and Gerard couldn’t help but look down.

“We don’t have much time.” Frank smirked, yanking his shirt off next before he hopped up onto the desk. “You better be quick if you don’t want anyone to get suspicious.” He smirked, Gerard biting his lip as he shakily got to his feet.

It was ridiculous how good Frank looked, naked and smirking, draped over Gerard’s desk. His legs were splayed open, giving Gerard a full view of his hardened cock as he leant back on his elbows. As Gerard slowly pulled open his own trousers he couldn’t help but scan Frank’s body, taking in the beautiful lines of each tattoo on his tanned skin, following the dip of his ribs into his soft belly, his hip bones visible but not too much. His muscles were toned just the right amount, his abs more noticeable when he stretched out. Gerard already knew every contour and dip of Frank’s body, he had memorised it long before he had even met him, but he never grew bored of staring at him.

Frank smiled dreamily, fully aware that Gerard was staring at him but he didn’t mind. Gerard always looked so mesmerised whenever he looked at Frank, like he couldn’t get over how gorgeous he was, and it was a look Frank adored. He’d been stared at plenty of times like he was a sex object, but never in the way Gerard gazed at him.

“Don’t forget –”

“I got it.” Gerard chuckled, cutting Frank off before he could finish as he held up the condom packet. Frank sighed and smiled, relaxing back onto the cool wood of the desk. 

Gerard was so unlike the other men Frank had dated. Not just in the way he looked at him, but everything about him. He was an obviously natural bottom and yet still topped Frank, too afraid to try anal sex himself even now. He completely understood the need to use condoms and didn’t complain about it like Frank’s other boyfriends had, he didn’t complain about the fact Frank had sex for a living, like his other boyfriends had, in fact... He just didn’t do anything Frank’s other boyfriends had, and Frank was finding it a huge breath of fresh air. It felt good... really good. He couldn’t imagine being with anyone more perfect.

“You don’t need to prep me baby, I did it myself before I got here.” Frank smirked once Gerard had rolled the condom down his erection and started to rub lube down his shaft. Gerard looked at Frank in surprise, raising his eyebrows.

“You did?”

“Uhuh... I was determined not to leave here without getting what I wanted... And I figured it would save time.” Frank said innocently, Gerard slowly smirking at him as he stepped close to the desk and began to rub the tip of his erection against Frank’s ass.

“Mm... You have no idea how sexy you are.” He growled, imagining how Frank would have been fingering and stretching himself with the knowledge that he was going to ask Gerard for sex. It made the artist just want him even more and his cock was already twitching with pleasure before he even began to push in.

“You sure you don’t need –”

“Trust me, just do it.” Frank groaned, his voice strained with need and he slid his body down the desk so that he could push his ass against Gerard’s tip. The older man grabbed his hips to stop him, smirking at him and leaning down to join him in a hungry kiss before he began to push inside him.

Frank moaned and wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck, tangling his hands deep into his air and sighing in delight as Gerard pushed into him. Gerard filled Frank just perfectly, bringing him no pain and yet still making him feel that pleasurable stretch. Frank preferred to be on top as a general rule, but he was really beginning to love the feeling of Gerard inside of him, and for the first time in his life he felt a burning, aching desire to have that feeling without the condom in the way.

“Mm...” Frank desperately wanted to moan Gerard’s name and let him know how good it felt, but he knew they had to be as quiet as possible so no one heard them so he forced his mouth to remain closed. 

Gerard had to bite his tongue to stop his own moans escaping as he sank into Frank’s ass, squeezing his hips and bowing his head as pleasure uncoiled like a snake in his abdomen. He shivered in delight and waited a moment once he was fully seated inside his lover before he pulled back and began to push slowly back in. He knew Frank wanted to be fucked hard, but he needed a second to let his pleasure subside or he’d never last more than a few minutes. 

Frank seemed to understand and only sighed softly as he stroked his fingers through Gerard’s hair and wrapped his legs around his waist. With Gerard standing by the desk and Frank lying on it he had the perfect angle to lock his legs around Gerard’s hips and tug the older man deeper inside him, caging their bodies together so that the angle of penetration allowed Gerard to rub over his prostate without even trying.

Frank was already quivering with pleasure before Gerard began to really move, but as soon as the older man began to rock into him with more deliberation and more speed Frank could do nothing but clutch at Gerard’s dark hair and tuck his face into his neck to try and stifle his moans. 

Gerard shuddered and bit back a soft growl of pleasure as he thrust hard and fast into Frank. He could feel Frank’s cock hard and hot trapped between their stomachs, and knowing that he was bringing pleasure to his lover made his own insides fizz and boil in delight. 

Both men struggled to remain silent, but their erratic breathing and soft pants and sighs were enough to signal to each other how much pleasure they were feeling. Gerard was encouraged by the pulsing clenches of Frank’s ass around his cock, and he arched over Frank as he pounded into him faster and faster.

Frank struggled not to cry out as Gerard rubbed repeatedly over his prostate, causing pre cum to ooze from the tip of his cock and slide stickily between their stomachs. The force of Gerard’s thrusts was making the drawers in the chest rattle and Frank laughed breathlessly. He tightened his legs around Gerard’s waist and used them to keep his rhythm up, letting him know through his body how good it felt, how much he wanted more without having to use his voice.

Gerard panted softly and met Frank in another needy kiss as he thrust into him. Frank’s inner channel was clenching more and more around him and he could feel that he was close. Gerard had began to grow accustomed to the signals Frank’s body gave before he came and he allowed his hold on his own pleasure to slip a little, bringing him closer to the edge.

Frank pushed his face more against Gerard’s neck, his mouth open wide against his skin as he panted and tried his hardest not to moan too loud and alert anyone outside to what they were doing, though the rattling of the desk was probably already doing that for them. Frank was too close to care though; Gerard’s clothed stomach sliding over his erection and his cock knocking into his prostate making Frank’s head spin in pleasure.

Gerard felt Frank’s ass clench so tight that it was almost painful, and when he didn’t relax immediately the artist knew his younger lover was hitting his climax. Barely a second later Frank’s nails were digging into Gerard’s back and his toes were curling as he came hard over his stomach. Gerard struggled not to moan and had to bite hard on his lip as his own orgasm tore through him. Frank’s tightened muscles made thrusting difficult, but the extra friction soon had Gerard releasing into the condom as he growled low in his throat and clung tight to Frank’s hips. 

Frank gasped and shuddered as he came down slowly from his high, his head still spinning in the afterglow and his body slumping against the desk as his arms and legs dropped from around Gerard. He felt positively boneless and he groaned quietly as Gerard slid out of him and tied off the condom before tossing it into the waste paper bin beneath the desk.

Gerard quickly checked his shirt for cum, breathing a sigh of relief when it didn’t seem to be stained and he smirked slowly as he turned back to Frank.

Frank sighed and smiled dreamily as he gazed at Gerard through his lashes, groaning as Gerard took the hands Frank offered him and tugged him gently into a sitting position.

“Fuck... God Gee, you’re incredible.” Frank giggled breathlessly, his voice hoarse. He was still tingling all over and he grinned as he slumped against Gerard’s chest and hugged him close.

“You too sugar.” Gerard chuckled, sighing as he kissed across Frank’s shoulders and smiled as the porn star went back to stroking his hair. 

Gerard sighed and just held Frank close for a long minute, breathing in the musky scent of sex and sweat off his skin. Frank’s fingers were trailing through his hair and making him feel relaxed, his breathing levelling out and he mewled as he nuzzled his face against Frank’s neck.

“Mm... Frankie, I... I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” He eventually whispered, Frank’s hands stilling in his hair for a moment before going back to their gentle stroking. Both men had their faces tucked into the others neck so they couldn’t meet each other’s gaze, but Gerard preferred it that way in that moment. 

“What’s that?” Frank asked softly, his voice soft and calm.

“Well um... are you busy next week?” Gerard asked quietly, Frank pulling back to quirk an eyebrow at him, smiling curiously.

“No, why?”

“Well uh...” Gerard swallowed thickly, starting to blush. He’d kind of been hoping that Frank would be busy, which was why he’d left it so late to ask him this. “I’m going to visit my brother Mikey at his university and he really wants to meet you...” Gerard trailed off, biting his lip. Mikey had been getting steadily more insistent every time they emailed or spoke on the phone, threatening Gerard that he wanted to be given a date he’d be seeing him and Frank or he’d be telling Elena. 

Gerard loved Elena, of course he did, and he’d seen her over the month he’d been with Frank but hadn’t given her any more information other than that he was “seeing someone” which was already torturing her enough without her discovering Mikey knew who the guy was. Or... He knew his name at least. Gerard just didn’t feel ready to start showing Frank to all his family... His family would embarrass him, and Frank was too perfect for Gerard to willingly go into a situation where he was going to be made a fool of infront of him. 

“Your brother?” Frank smirked a little as he gazed at Gerard, his arms still draped around his neck and he was starting to idly draw patterns against the nape with his fingertips. “Mm... Yeah... I should probably meet him.” He chuckled, his eyes mischievous and Gerard frowned.

“It’s a four hour drive.” Gerard warned, Frank shrugging like it was no big deal. “And you’ll need to be nice to him.”

“I’ll be nice to him if he’s nice to me.” Frank laughed, Gerard groaning. 

“He’ll probably tell you really embarrassing stories about me too. Try and scare you away.” He whined. Of course Mikey would never try to destroy a relationship Gerard was happy in, but he _would_ try to embarrass him.

“Gee, nothing he could tell me would make me leave you.” Frank smiled, leaning close to kiss Gerard delicately. “Besides, I have a thing or two I wanna say to him as well.” He smirked, Gerard glaring at him, making him laugh. “I’ll be nice, don’t worry.” He said innocently, sliding off the desk to start putting his clothes back on.

“So... You wanna come with me to visit him?”

“Just give me a date.” Frank grinned, Gerard sighing as he zipped up his trousers and patted down his shirt, neatening out his outfit. He couldn’t help but feel a little flutter of happiness. If nothing else the drive to the uni would be fun, everything with Frank was fun. 

“Well, I was going to head down on the Friday night, then spend the weekend with him.” He shrugged, Frank grinning with a nod.

“Great, I’ll let Matt know not to book anything in for then.” He chuckled, smoothing the creases out of his t-shirt and running his fingers through his hair before stepping up to Gerard to kiss him gently as he smoothed his collar out for him. 

“Wanna have dinner with me tonight?” He smiled, Gerard nodding.

“Sure.” He murmured against Frank’s lips, smiling as the younger man squeezed his shoulders. “I’ll get to yours about seven?”

“Sounds good.” Frank nodded, kissing Gerard again and sighing as he just indulged in his lips for a moment. “Mm... I wanna do something later, if you’re okay with it...” He whispered softly, almost as if he didn’t want Gerard to hear, but of course he did when Frank was whispering it right into his mouth.

“Oh? What’s that?” He asked quietly back, his heart starting to race a little. He didn’t want to jump to any conclusions.

“Mm... I’ll... Tell you later.” Frank said slowly, maddeningly, stepping back with a cheeky grin as Gerard blinked stupidly at him. “I better get going before you get told off for not doing any work.” He winked, Gerard opening his mouth to protest but he really did need to get back to work.

“Should I be scared for tonight?” He blurted out as Frank stepped to the door and went to open it. The porn star paused, glancing at Gerard over his shoulder with a playful smile but warm eyes.

“Gee, you know I’d never do anything you said no to.” He reminded him gently, making Gerard blush and nod, weakly waving goodbye as Frank blew a kiss and stepped out the door.

xXx

Gerard’s stomach was swirling nervously as he tugged a Misfits t-shirt over his head and bit his lip at the reflection gazing back at him in the mirror. 

Since dating Frank he felt like he had started to look slightly more attractive. Though he was still pale he had a healthy glow to his skin and his eyes were sparkling with new life. He didn’t look tired or miserable anymore now a days, in fact, he had began to move with an easy grace that showed how comfortable he was in his own skin and he knew it was all thanks to his lover.

Frank was incredible, everything Gerard had imagined him to be and more. The artist hadn’t forgotten how obsessed he had been with Frank and his videos, but now he was falling for the porn star as a person and not just as some man who had sex on screen. In fact, when Gerard thought about Frank’s video’s now he felt a little sick. He didn’t want to imagine other men touching Frank in the ways that he did... But he would never ask Frank to quit his job, he knew he loved it, and he also knew Frank’s ex boyfriends had asked him to quit and well... Look where that had got them.

Besides, Gerard was happier than he had been in a long time... Maybe even ever. Even after a full month he still felt like he was floating on cloud nine, and he wouldn’t let anything bring him down from that. Which was why he was staring into the mirror trying to brace himself for whatever it was Frank was going to ask him to do when he got to his apartment.

Gerard knew that Frank preferred to be on top, the two men had discussed it a couple of times, and Frank seemed to be convinced that Gerard would love being bottom. Gerard didn’t doubt Frank... Not entirely, he just didn’t feel ready. He was twenty six years old... He was beginning to think he’d never try being bottom. As much as he adored Frank and trusted him he still couldn’t bring himself to agree to let Frank be on top.

Gerard sighed and ran a hand through his hair, turning away from the mirror to find a studded belt to sling round his hips. 

He wanted to be able to relax and just let Frank top him. He got the feeling that that was what Frank was going to ask for tonight. It had been a while since he’d last asked, and Gerard knew Frank could never last long without asking again. Gerard had promised he’d try when he was ready, but he was starting to feel sick at the thought of turning Frank down again. He didn’t want him to think he didn’t trust him, or that he didn’t want him, because he did, he really did... He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

Gerard was certain other gay people didn’t have this problem. It was a well known fact that some gay men enjoyed bottoming and others didn’t. But it was also known that most of them were capable of compromising with their partners and swapping roles every now and then. Why couldn’t Gerard do that? Why was he was twenty six years old and still an anal virgin after having sex with so many people? He had always convinced himself it wasn’t a big deal... and it wasn’t when he was just having one night stands. But now he was in a relationship he was having to once again face the fact that sooner or later he would have to give in or Frank would leave.

_’Just like Bert’_ A voice in his head taunted. Gerard blushed and scowled, sitting on his bed to tug on some boots. 

Bert... God, he had loved Bert. He had been his boyfriend in High School. They hadn’t had the most loving relationship, but that was more to do with drugs and alcohol than their feelings for each other. Bert had been more dominant than Gerard, but when they had been so off their faces on whatever narcotic they had at the time it was easy for Gerard to persuade Bert to let him top.

Once they graduated and started having to find jobs they had got clean together. It hadn’t been easy, in fact, Gerard was still of the opinion he would never have managed it if he hadn’t had Bert doing it with him. The summer before he went to Art College he got clean with his boyfriend and things seemed great. Bert was going to just get a job in a store and work on his band whilst Gerard was at college, but he had promised he would wait for him and they’d get a place together once Gerard got his degree and they’d be together forever...

It still made Gerard feel sick to think how the only reason he had lost Bert was because he was too afraid to let him fuck him. How much of a fuck up was he that he had let the love of his life, at the time at least, just walk away because he couldn’t open his fucking legs.

Gerard growled and shoved his foot violently into his boot, tying the laces with tears burning in his eyes. He rarely thought about Bert but sometimes he just couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t love him anymore, and he would never get back with him, but he still had that taunting voice that would whisper Bert’s words to him sometimes.

_“We’ve been together three years Gee, why won’t you just let me? Don’t you love me? Don’t you TRUST me?”_

Gerard shuddered and swallowed thickly. He had wanted to let Bert take him, he really had... There had even been moments when he had thought he was really going to do it... but whenever they tried he got too tense, he just couldn’t relax and it was hopeless. When Bert got sick of it he had left, and Gerard had never had a boyfriend since.

Relationships were hard. One night stands were easy... One night stands just accepted that Gerard couldn’t let them fuck him and they’d bottom. But Frank... How long until he got sick of bottoming and left too? 

Gerard sat up and covered his mouth with his hand, taking deep, shuddering breaths to try and stem his tears before they fell. He knew Frank was going to ask him to bottom again tonight and he didn’t want to refuse him. But... Could he go through with it? What if they tried and he just couldn’t relax again? What, if like Bert, Frank couldn’t even get one finger in he tensed so much. Gerard knew he’d just die of shame.

“Fuck...” Gerard groaned, bowing his head in his hands and almost falling off his bed in surprise when his phone suddenly started blasting out music. “Fuck!” Gerard cursed again, seizing the small device and checking the ID.

“Fuuuck...” He groaned for a third time, tipping his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. He took a deep, cleansing breath and forced down the lump in his throat before pressing the answer button and holding the phone to his ear. “Hey grandma.” He said as cheerily as he could, even smiling a little when Elena replied as loudly and happily as ever.

“Gerard! My darling! How are you my love?” She sang camply, Gerard chuckling softly.

“I’m fine grandma, how are you?” He asked politely, Elena giggling as she replied that she was ‘just fabulous darling, just fabulous’. 

“I’m not doing anything this evening darling, and I’ve called up the Italian and there’s a table with our name on it. I thought I’d treat you.” 

“Oh... God, that’s great Grandma but I’m actually spending the evening with Frankie.” Gerard sighed apologetically, Elena clicking her tongue with a soft ‘oh’ of disappointment. There was a small moment of silence before she spoke up again.

“Well that’s alright. You can bring Frank with you... In fact yes, that’s a great idea. It’s about time I finally met this boy.” Gerard could hear the grin in her voice and he groaned with a soft chuckle.

“But... But Grandma we were gonna have dinner at his...”

“Well call him quick and tell him there’s a change of plan. If he’s as amazing as you tell me then I’m sure he won’t mind. And besides, you can’t hide him away from your family forever.” She told Gerard curtly, the artist groaning as he rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“I’m not hiding him away...”

“Oh really? Have you introduced him to anyone?”

“Well... Not yet but –”

“Exactly.” Elena cut him off, her smirk clear. “Bring him to dinner tonight. I’ll have no arguments. You can pick me up at eight okay my sweetness?” She purred, Gerard groaning.

“Grandma I really... I really don’t need this right now.”

“Why what’s wrong?” Elena demanded, suddenly concerned. Gerard blushed and bit his lip.

“Nothing I just mean -”

“There is something. Pick me up at eight, bring Frank or don’t bring him, I don’t care. I expect you here though, you know I won’t be happy if you’re not. I won’t have you trying to hide from me any longer.” Elena warned, Gerard resisting the urge to bash his head into the wall as he groaned but gave a soft ‘alright’ of consent.

“Good boy. I’ll see you soon... I love you very much.” Elena sighed, her voice gentle now, soothing and Gerard smiled fondly as he nodded.

“Alright... I love you too. See you soon.” He sighed, saying his goodbyes and hanging up with a shake of his head. At least with Elena sticking her oar in he had no choice but to stop worrying about Bert and bottoming and Frank... At least now he had more pressing matters to worry about. Like taking his boyfriend to meet his grandmother.

xXx

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I can just call her and tell her we can’t go.” Gerard insisted, Frank laughing as he shook his head, taking the lasagne he had made out of the oven and grabbing some foil to cover it with.

“Gee seriously it’s not a problem, this will keep until tomorrow.” He assured his lover, smoothing the foil over the top and turning to kiss Gerard lightly. “I’d love to meet your grandma.” He grinned, Gerard sighing and smiling softly. How could anyone be so perfect?

“Are you sure? She’s not the sweet old lady you’re probably imagining. She’s kinda bad ass.” He smirked, Frank laughing loudly and beaming at Gerard, his eyes sparkling.

“Really? Then I wanna meet her even more.” He chuckled, smoothing his hands up Gerard’s arms and tiptoeing up to kiss him again, letting his lips linger there for a long minute. “Mm... When do we need to leave?” He asked softly, Gerard sighing and wrapping his arms around his waist to tug him closer.

“About thirty minutes.” He whispered before kissing Frank longingly. Despite the sex in the office that morning he was eager for more. He always wanted more when it came to Frankie. 

“Yeah?” Frank grinned, sensing the passion in Gerard’s kisses and pressing tighter to him. “Then we have just enough time.” He smirked, Gerard looking at him curiously.

“Time for what?” He asked, his heart hammering again when he remembered Frank was going to be asking him something tonight. Was he going to ask him now? If he was then surely it couldn’t be the bottoming thing again... Thirty minutes was nowhere near enough time for that.

“I wanted to ask you something...” Frank smiled, taking Gerard’s hand and leading him through the apartment towards... The bathroom?

“Oh yeah...” Gerard mumbled numbly. “What was it?”

“I wanna do something to you...” Frank said gently, trying to make the ominous sounding words seem less scary. “I don’t know how you’ll feel about it.” 

“Well... Tell me what it is and I’ll let you know.” Gerard said nervously, following Frank into the bathroom and sitting down on the edge of the bath when Frank pushed him there. Gerard watched with slightly wide eyes as Frank didn’t speak but simply turned to the cupboard above the sink and produced a pair of razors – an electric one, and a normal one.

“Um...” Gerard stared at the objects as Frank held them out in his hands for him to see. 

“I wanna try something...” Frank said slowly, his eyes sparkling mischievously. “I need to shave you though.”

“Shave me where?” Gerard asked, alarmed. Frank giggled a little and leant forward to peck his lips. 

“Take your jeans off.” 

“Frankie no.” Gerard gasped, horrified as Frank grinned deviously at him. “Why... Why _there!?_ I thought you said you didn’t like being waxed there.” 

“Which is exactly why I’m not waxing you.” Frank laughed, expecting this reaction but guessing he’d be able to coax Gerard into it. “It won’t hurt.” He promised.

“But... But why.” Gerard whimpered. “I... I didn’t realise it bothered you.” He mewled, slightly horrified that this entire time Frank had disliked the fact he had pubic hair. But Jesus, didn’t everyone other than porn stars and ridiculously self conscious people have pubic hair?

“It doesn’t bother me.” Frank giggled innocently, hands on hips, razors still in hand, eyeing Gerard’s jeans with a smirk that made Gerard feel like he should run away. “But I’m feeling like I need to show you some fun stuff, and I need to shave you for it.”

“I don’t understand.” Gerard confessed, Frank laughing softly.

“You will.” He promised, eyeing Gerard for a minute before sighing. “Come on strip, we don’t wanna be late to meet your grandma.” 

“I don’t really wanna go see my grandma with shaven balls.” Gerard protested, only resulting in Frank laughing again. Gerard sighed and pouted moodily, waiting for Frank to come down from his laughing fit. “Do I really need to do this?” He whined once Frank had managed to contain his giggles.

“You don’t if you don’t want to. I told you, you can say no.” Frank smiled innocently, his eyes twinkling. It was obvious he already knew Gerard wouldn’t be able to deny him, and the artist cursed as he got to his feet and started to undo his belt and jeans. 

“I’m gonna look stupid.” Gerard insisted as he dropped his jeans and boxer briefs to the floor, feeling stupid with his shirt still on and he awkwardly covered himself with his hands. “I don’t see why you need to do this.”

“Just trust me sugar. And besides, I hate having to look like a little kid with no hair, it’s only fair you look the same.” He teased, Gerard scoffing as he sat back down on the edge of the bath when Frank told him to.

“I didn’t choose your career choice.” He pointed out, just complaining in the hope it would make him feel less idiotic. Frank snorted and shrugged, dropping to his knees infront of Gerard, causing the older man to blush and panic slightly. Oh God, seeing Frank in front of him just made him automatically think of one thing and he really didn’t want to get a boner during this.

“It’ll be worth it.” Frank chuckled, looking up at Gerard with innocent eyes that couldn’t quite mask his mischievous look. “You need to move your hands.” He smirked, Gerard blushing and scowling a little as he slowly moved his hands away from his crotch. 

“This better be worth it.” He whined, feeling self conscious and stupid with Frank gazing at him like this. It made him feel more vulnerable and more exposed than even being naked in front of him. He shivered a little as Frank pressed a tender kiss to his inner thigh and cupped his balls in one hand.

“Trust me.” He repeated, Gerard sighing as he nodded.

“I do.” He whispered back, blushing as Frank switched on the electric shaver and a soft buzzing filled the bathroom. Gerard tipped his head back and squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see. For what felt like an agonizingly long second nothing happened, and then Gerard felt the shaver on his balls and he shuddered on instinct, almost jolting away.

Immediately warm lips were pressed to his inner thigh, kissing soothingly and relaxing him as Frank shaved all the hair away with a practised hand. The clippers vibrated against Gerard’s sack and he felt his blush intensifying. It felt weird and out of place and he really couldn’t see why this was necessary. 

Frank kept his light kisses up as he gazed out the corner of his eyes at what he was doing, taking his time to make sure he didn’t miss a single hair or slip and cut Gerard. Once he was done with electric shaver he grabbed the normal razor and shaving foam. 

“This is just wrong on so many levels.” Gerard protested quietly as Frank rubbed the foam over his balls, Frank laughing softly. 

“I can tell you’re not enjoying it.” He smirked, Gerard rolling his eyes, still looking up at the ceiling, too embarrassed to look down at Frank tending to his balls.

“Really? What gave it away?” He drawled sarcastically, Frank laughing softly. 

“The fact you’re not hard.” Frank shrugged innocently, taking the razor and staring to shave again as Gerard’s cheeks flamed. All he could think of to say in return was a rather high pitched ‘oh’ before he fell silent again. 

Frank smirked and bit back his laughter, enjoying himself immensely as he finished shaving Gerard. Once he was finished he sat back and admired his handy work before cleaning off the excess foam. Gerard’s cock looked a little bigger now the hair was gone, but it wasn’t that Frank liked his men clean shaved. He actually didn’t. But the hair got in the way of what he wanted to do so it had to go.

“Alright, you can’t stop bitching now.” Frank smirked, getting to his feet and putting the things away before using his hands to sweep up all the hair off the floor and wash it down the sink the same time as he washed his hands.

Gerard looked down hesitantly, blushing and feeling his head spin a little. He looked like... Like a porn star.

“So... Why did you do this again?” He asked quietly, Frank smirking as he turned to dry his hands on the towel hanging by the sink before he turned back to Gerard, sinking slowly to his knees infront of him again.

“Tell me something,” He purred softly, leaning in between Gerard’s legs and kissing delicately up his thighs. “Have you ever had anyone put their mouths... _Here?_ ” Frank turned his head so he was breathing hotly over Gerard’s balls, the older man gasping and shuddering at the surprisingly welcome sensation.

“Uh, n – no...” He breathed shakily, his hands clutching the edge of the bath so tightly his knuckles stood out harshly. “Fuck...” He gasped as Frank flicked his tongue against his balls for just a second, teasing him before he pulled back and got to his feet with easy grace.

“Then you’re in for a treat.” He winked, Gerard staring at him with a horrified expression. He couldn’t just stop, not now, not when it had felt so good. Better than Gerard had ever imagined. 

“Now?” He asked softly, his voice giving away his eagerness and Frank giggled as he tossed him his clothes.

“No, later. We gotta meet your grandma first.” He reminded him sweetly, sauntering out the bathroom with a soft laugh as Gerard groaned loudly and leant back, rubbing his hands over his face before squeaking as he leant too far and landed into the bath. 

Frank glanced over his shoulder and snorted with laughter at the sight of Gerard, half naked, flailing on his back in the bathtub. It was these stupid things that Gerard did that made Frank like him so much and he collapsed onto the floor in a fit of giggles as Gerard whined at him to help him out.


	12. Chapter twelve

“Oh God... There she is.” Gerard whispered, squeezing Frank’s hand tighter as the two men approached the Italian restaurant. Elena was stood outside, looking up and down the street clearly trying to spot them. She was wearing another one of her summer dresses and shawls, and Frank grinned as he gazed at her.

“She looks awesome.”

“She looks like she’s gonna kick my ass.” Gerard responded nervously, Elena finally seeing them and she stood up straighter, a small smirk tugging at her lips. Gerard prayed she wasn’t going to yell at him for being late, they were only ten minutes late, and it was all Frank’s fault anyway. If he hadn’t insisted on the whole shaving thing...

“Finally, you’re here. Punctual as ever I see, Gerard.” Elena purred silkily as the two men reached her. Gerard blushed and muttered a ‘hi Grandma’ before Elena was turning to Frank, her arms outstretched and hands raised as if waiting to clamp on his cheeks and squeeze them.

“You must be Frank.” She smiled sweetly, Frank giggling as he nodded.

“You must be Elena. I’ve been dying to meet you.” He grinned, Elena positively beaming back at him as she squealed in delight and hugged him tight.

“Oh, I like you.” She decided, pulling back to squeeze Frank’s shoulders and grin at him. “How did my grandson fall lucky enough to attract someone so handsome huh?” She laughed, Gerard blushing as he stood beside Frank, pretty much forgotten. 

“With all respect ma’am, I’m the lucky one.” Frank smiled, Gerard unable to stop himself from blushing and smiling a little as he glanced at Frank and felt his heart tug slightly. Frank was looking gorgeous as ever and that playful sparkle in his eyes was making Gerard weak at the knees. He felt like a helplessly smitten school girl and he knew that Elena was going to pick up on it.

“Gosh you’re cute.” Elena gasped, her hands now on Frank’s cheeks though she didn’t squeeze them. Apparently, she was on her best behaviour. “And please, just call me Elena. Ma’am makes me feel so old.” She groaned, flipping the end of her shawl over her shoulder before she began to lead the way into the restaurant. 

“Come on boys, its freezing out here and I’m absolutely starved.”

Gerard smiled fondly and glanced at Frank, the younger man smirking back at him. He took Gerard’s hand and laced their fingers again, mouthing the words ‘I love her’ at him before following Elena to the table the waiter was showing them to.

As Gerard sat down next to Frank (making a conscious effort to make sure he wouldn’t be seated opposite him in case he got any bright ideas like the time in the Chinese restaurant), he recognised the waiter who was laying their menu’s down for them. He was smiling softly as he chatted quietly to Elena, telling her the day’s specials before taking their drinks order, and when he glanced at Gerard it was clear he remembered him to.

Gerard blushed and tried to bite back his smirk as he took the menu from the young man. It was the waiter Elena had pointed out to him last time they had come to the restaurant together, the one she had mentioned was good looking and Gerard had insisted wasn’t his type.

The memory brought a strange flutter in Gerard’s chest. The waiter had walked away and Elena was already chatting eagerly to Frank, trying to learn all about him. Frank was telling her all about the guitar shop he worked in – he and Gerard had agreed beforehand that they wouldn’t be telling Elena the truth of Frank’s job. As Gerard gazed at his boyfriend he couldn’t help but smile slowly, his lips tugging upwards until he was grinning like an idiot, melting in his seat.

It had always been his dream to be with a man special enough to bring to this restaurant that he usually only came to with Elena. Sure, it wasn’t just the two of them out on a romantic date, but it was closer than Gerard had ever got so far and he felt ridiculously happy to see Frank sitting in this place. 

“So do you live in New Jersey too then?” Elena asked conversationally as she opened up her menu, Frank following suit and smirking when Gerard just continued to stare at him stupidly. 

“Yeah I do I – You okay honey?” Frank had to fight not to laugh as Gerard gazed at him for another moment before snapping back into the moment and he blushed deeply, quickly sitting up properly and nodding as his cheeks flamed.

“Oh err... Y – Yeah, I’m fine.” He squeaked, his heart racing from the pet name. Frank smirked at him as Elena eyed him with interest over her menu.

“Jesus, you do have it bad don’t you?” She asked innocently, Gerard raising his eyebrows at her.

“Have what bad?” He asked quietly, Frank turning away to browse the menu in the hopes it would stop the laughter that was dying to burst from his throat. He was just in a really good mood, he was having a great time and they’d only been here five minutes. He loved Elena already, it was clear she was one sassy lady and Frank adored that. 

“What do you think?” Elena asked blankly, still staring at Gerard over her menu. “Oh sweetie, it’s so obvious.” She sighed, smirking a little and though she kept her face carefully expressionless there was a clear playful twinkle in her eyes, not unlike the one that was always in Frank’s.

“Okay...” Gerard didn’t have a clue what Elena was talking about but he blushed anyway. He couldn’t think straight like this, the intoxicating aroma of Italian cooking and the faint scent of Frank’s cologne was making his head spin. Being here, in this place he loved with the man he was dating was making his heart race erratically... and then somewhat ruining the moment was the awkward way he couldn’t stop thinking about his balls. 

Gerard was trying to just act like there was nothing different going on, but since Frank had shaved him he was hyper aware of each tiny movement he made; could feel each brush of the cotton of his underwear every time he shifted. He wasn’t uncomfortable... In fact, it was strangely comfortable, but it was making him feel tense and paranoid around Elena. He knew it was ridiculous but he just felt as if she must know, and he felt stupid enough as it was. Not to mention every time he thought too much about it he would remember Frank’s promise and he would have to clamp his legs tight shut.

“Have you decided what you’d like Frankie?” Elena smiled as she looked at Frank, closing her own menu as the porn star did the same. Gerard jumped when he realised he had been spacing out again and still hadn’t chosen what he’d wanted. He quickly closed his own menu, pretending he’d actually looked at it and figured he’d just go for his usual.

“I think I’m gonna have the mushroom linguini.” Frank answered Elena, taking a breadstick from the centre of the table and nibbling on the end as Elena praised him on ‘a fantastic choice’ before sitting back as the waiter arrived with their drinks.

Frank and Gerard hadn’t had any say before Elena bought a bottle of red wine for them all to share, and Gerard smiled fondly as Elena made a point of tasting the wine with great theatricality before allowing the waiter to pour their glasses. Once Elena was happily sipping from her glass she gave the waiter their food orders and then turned immediately back to Frank as he walked away.

“So remind me how you two met again?” She grinned, Gerard blushing slightly and helping himself to a bread stick too as Frank giggled.

“We met in Las Vegas at a comic book convention.” He replied, keeping to the lie that Gerard had been telling everybody else. Frank understood perfectly why Gerard didn’t want too many people knowing he was dating a porn star, and Frank liked that it meant he could have the opportunity to forget about it himself too. He loved his job, but he didn’t want it to be the only thing people saw when they looked at him. He found that most people found it difficult to see past the porn thing if they didn’t already know him before he told them.

“Mm...” Elena hummed thoughtfully as she chewed on a breadstick. She wasn’t fool enough not to realise that Frank was the boy Gerard had described to her before when they had been in this restaurant as his ‘type’ when he was still single. She wasn’t sure if that was before or after the comic convention though, so she decided not to bring it up in case her old age was making her memory a bit fuzzy. Though of course everyone knew Elena was still as sharp as a tac.

“What got you talking?” She asked softly, Gerard blushing and biting his lip.

“Come on Grandma can’t we talk about something else?” He whined, Elena looking at him in shock and scowling.

“Definitely not.” She scoffed, pointing her breadstick at Gerard. “You know I need to know every little detail. It’s your own fault for waiting so long to finally introduce me to Frank.” She said simply, turning her warm grin on Frank again. “Why don’t you tell me Frankie?” She purred, Frank smirking a little and resisting the urge to laugh as Gerard groaned.

“Well... Uh...” Frank took a sip of his drink to give himself time to think up a story. He wasn’t sure how much to lie, in the end he figured he’d just have to try and keep as much to the truth as possible. “The convention was being held in a hotel, and so before I went in I stopped outside to have a cigarette and Gerard was already there... struggling to light his cigarette.” Frank threw Gerard a playful grin, his eyes sparkling at the memory and he idly reached across the table to take Gerard’s hand. “As soon as I saw him I knew I needed to speak to him... He was just so handsome.” Frank sighed, making Gerard’s cheeks flame in an intense blush. He couldn’t tell if Frank was being honest or not, but the way his hazel eyes were locked with his made him feel like maybe this was all the truth. God, he hoped it was.

“I lit his cigarette for him, which gave me a chance to make small talk...” Frank continued, gazing adoringly at Gerard, barely even realising he was doing it but opposite him Elena was smirking with a warm shine to her eyes. “Before I knew it we’d been talking for ages and so I asked Gerard to join me in going round the convention, which he did... Then the next day we went on a real date and well... Haven’t looked back since.” 

Gerard sighed lovingly and nodded his agreement, gently squeezing Frank’s hand. His heart was racing in his chest as he gazed at Frank, a small quiver going down his spine. He still couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be with a man so perfect, and when he turned to look back at Elena he blushed when he realised she was grinning knowingly at them both.

“Such a sweet story.” She cooed, Frank giggling as he slowly drew his hand away from Gerard’s and went back to eating his breadstick as if he had never been staring at Gerard with that adoring shine to his eyes. “I can tell you boys are going to be together a long time.”

“Grandma.” Gerard whined, a hint of laughter in his voice. He blushed and melted inside at her words, but he worried that they were too strong for Frank, but to his surprise the porn star was grinning just as much.

“I’m sure we will.” Frank agreed, making Gerard melt even more. “I don’t plan on leaving any time soon that’s for sure.” He giggled, glancing at Gerard and smirking when he saw the older man was looking about ready to slither to floor and turn into a big pile of goo. Frank laughed softly and leant across to peck his check, Gerard sighing in soft delight.

“I don’t plan on leaving either.” He whispered softly, Frank grinning at him and squeezing his hand again quickly before turning back to Elena and starting to ask her questions instead to move the conversation on. He wasn’t sure Gerard would be able to stand the evening if it continued on the romantic route, he already looked dreamy enough and Frank needed him in the real world for what he planned later.

Gerard sighed and smiled, gazing at Frank and listening as he and Elena chatted. Once their food arrived they all laughed and talked over their meal about Elena’s past and Gerard’s childhood. For the most part Elena managed to contain herself from revealing too many embarrassing stories, though she did delight in telling Frank all about how Gerard used to be “such a gorgeous chubby little thing” and Gerard resisted the urge to hide under the table in shame.

Through out the evening Frank and Elena laughed and talked as if they had known each other for years and Gerard felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from him. It was so good to see them getting along and he felt a little bad for not introducing them sooner. It was just difficult... He didn’t want to start introducing Frank to all of his family when they had to lie about who he really was, but then he wasn’t sure he’d ever be at a stage where he’d be ready to tell his relatives that he was dating a porn star.

By the time they had eaten dessert and left the restaurant the night was late and Gerard insisted on driving Elena home. Of course she accepted graciously and then insisted that she and Frank should sit in the back so they could continue talking. Gerard had chuckled and agreed, Frank all to happy to join Elena on the backseat and all the way back to New Jersey they continued to discuss Gerard and Elena told Frank all about Mikey.

Frank was intrigued as he heard how close Gerard and his younger brother were. Gerard hadn’t really talked about him much but it soon became clear from all that Elena said that Mikey and Gerard were in fact inseparable.

“You know, when Mikey left for university it tore him and Gerard apart.” Elena sighed dramatically, Gerard rolling his eyes from his space in the driver’s seat. 

“I can hear you know.” He scoffed, Elena frowning and shrugging.

“And? I’m not saying anything I shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t be ashamed of how close you and Mikey are Gerard, it’s a beautiful thing. You know I think it’s just awful when I see siblings not getting along. Do you have any siblings Frank?” Elena was grinning again as she turned her twinkling eyes on Frank and he chuckled softly.

“No, I don’t.” He confessed, glancing at the back of Gerard’s head. “We’re going to visit Mikey soon though; I can’t wait to meet him.” He smirked, Gerard blushing and forcing himself to just keep concentrating on his driving as Elena grinned widely.

“Really? That’s wonderful!” She beamed. “Mikey’s such a gem. You’ll love him.” She grinned, Frank nodding though he couldn’t help but smirk a little; wondering if that really would be the case. Mikey had seemed nice enough on the phone, despite his attitude. Now that Frank was hearing how close he and Gerard were though he could understand Mikey being wary, it seemed like he was strangely protective over his older brother. 

Elena continued to chat happily until Gerard pulled up outside her house, smiling as Elena leant between the two front seats to peck his cheek and thank him for “such a fabulous evening” before she turned and hugged Frank tightly good bye.

“Be sure to come visit soon, won’t you?” She beamed, Frank giggling as he nodded.

“I definitely will Elena, it was great meeting you.” He promised, grinning as Elena pecked both his cheeks and left the car with a cheery “good bye darlings!” leaving a scent of powder and perfume behind her. 

xXx

Frank tossed his keys onto the counter and whispered softly into Gerard’s ear as he stepped up behind him and slid his denim jacket off his arms for him. “Mm... I had a great night baby.” 

“Oh?” Gerard smiled and bit his lip, his body tingling pleasantly at the sensation of Frank’s warm breath whispering over his ear and neck. “Me too... I’m so glad we went.” He admitted softly, sliding his arms out of the sleeves of his jacket and allowing Frank to hang it up for him. “Elena really liked you.”

“You think so?” Frank grinned, stepping up behind Gerard again and sliding his arms around his waist, pressing his chest to his back. “I thought she was awesome.” He chuckled, starting to kiss along the side of Gerard’s neck. 

Gerard sighed and closed his eyes, relaxing into Frank’s touch and biting his lip in silent delight. This was what he had been waiting for all night, the chance to feel Frank’s divine lips and kisses. 

“Frankie...” He mewled, sighing and shivering pleasantly as Frank’s hands slid down and round to push into the back pockets of his jeans and squeeze his ass gently. Gerard felt his heart miss a beat, his mind was slowly clouding with a lusty haze but he was perfectly aware that Frank’s crotch was pressed against his ass. He was torn between wanting to push back against him and wanting at the same time to jolt away. Frank wasn’t hard, the touch could even be innocent, but Gerard didn’t want to give the impression that he was ready to try bottoming.

“Gee...” Frank sighed, nibbling up to Gerard’s ear. “Will you do something for me?” He asked huskily, Gerard swallowing thickly.

“What?” He asked quietly, Frank chuckling a little.

“Go into my room... Take off all your clothes... And lay down on the bed.” Frank tried not to make his words sound like a demand, his hands still gently kneading and massaging Gerard’s ass through his jeans. God... Frank ached to be able to feel him properly, but he knew Gerard wasn’t ready yet. 

“I...” Gerard hesitated, wanting to do as Frank asked but feeling nervous about what was expected of him. In the end he decided if Frank was going to try and top him then he trusted him enough to be able to ask him to stop and he would listen, so he simply nodded and stepped away from Frank to hurry into his bedroom.

Frank smirked a little and turned to go into the kitchen, just needing to get a glass of water and give himself a moment to compose. Seeing Gerard do as he asked was really turning him on. He wasn’t a sadist who wanted to control people, but it was good to see Gerard doing what Frank thought should have been instinctive for him. In some relationships the top and the bottom was just obvious, and Frank felt like it was in their relationship too. Gerard was a natural bottom, but he just couldn’t see it whilst he was so afraid, Frank was determined to get him to a stage where he’d feel comfortable enough to at least try it, but before he got there he needed to start asserting his dominance as gently as he could so that Gerard learnt to trust him and submit to him without thinking about it.

Gerard was stripping slowly in Frank’s room, his heart racing. He wondered what Frank was planning to do, wondering whether he should feel nervous or excited. As he slipped off his underwear he realised he felt a little bit of both and he slowly moved to sit in the centre of the bed. He felt shy and exposed as he laid his hands in lap, waiting for Frank to come in.

Frank stripped of his own clothes as he walked into the room, meeting Gerard’s gaze and smirking playfully at him. 

“Tonight I wanna be all about making you feel good.” He purred as he slid off his shirt, Gerard biting his lip as he gazed intently at him. His eyes scanned Frank’s gorgeous tattooed body, his mouth watering slightly as Frank swayed his hips as if he was dancing to a song in his head. He met Gerard’s gaze and held it as he started to dance, lifting his arms above his head and crossing his wrists behind his neck as he began to swing his hips with more conviction.

“I... But, I like making you feel good...” Gerard mumbled, mesmerised by the way Frank moved. He couldn’t get enough of staring at him, the sensual way his hips swung from side to side. He never did anything like this in his porn videos... This was something Gerard had never seen him do before, and it was all for him. A special, secret thing all for his own eyes and no one else’s. Gerard’s cock twitched at the realisation.

“I will feel good.” Frank promised, grinning playfully at Gerard as he moved to flick on his stereo, Pantera blasting out of the speakers. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do anything I know you’re not ready for.” He promised, Gerard relaxing slightly at that, blushing in slight shame. He wished he wasn’t such a wimp, but he was grateful Frank understood. 

“Do you like this song?” Frank grinned, starting to sway his hips again as he started to work on his belt. 

“I love it.” Gerard nodded, the gritty guitar beat to Cowboys from hell making his heart race even more. Seeing Frank dance sexily to the dirty guitars of Pantera was really getting him hot. 

“Gee...” Frank purred, smirking at how Gerard was just sat nicely, covering his manhood with his hands. “Will you touch yourself for me?” He asked innocently, his hips jerking and twisting to the beat of the song playing and Gerard blushed deeply.

“I... What?”

“Don’t question it, just do it.” Frank ordered, his eyes sparkling playfully as he slid his studded belt from around his hips and dropped it to the floor. “Please baby...” He groaned, arching his back and sliding his hands up his chest and into his hair, rolling his head back. “Wanna see...” He sighed, his voice husky and seductive and Gerard could feel his whole body blushing.

“I... Okay.” He whispered, nervously leaning back onto his elbows and reluctantly spreading his legs. He was too shy and awkward for this kind of thing, but Frank was giving him something of a show and he guessed it was only fair to reciprocate. Besides, he just wanted to make Frank happy, and he was hardly thinking straight when Frank was dancing so sexily to one of his favourite songs.

Frank was losing himself to the beat of the music as he watched through half lidded eyes at Gerard slowly, shyly taking hold of his semi and starting to stroke his hand against it. Frank slowly licked his lips and threw his lover an approving look as he danced with more vigour. 

Frank’s own body was starting to heat up and grow more aroused as he watched Gerard start to relax. The older man was completely mesmerised by Frank’s gorgeous, moving body and he was soon achingly hard in his hand. He pumped slowly at his erection, never taking his eyes off Frank as the smaller man began to work open his jeans.

Frank loved dancing to music, especially when he had an audience and he put all his energy into making Gerard really drool as he slid down his jeans and stepped out of them as he sauntered towards the bed. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and he was already hard just from watching Gerard touch himself. 

“Keep going Gee.” He purred, crawling onto the bed and Gerard groaned a little, aching to reach out and pull Frank on top of him. His hand working up and down his length felt good but he knew that Frank would feel better and after seeing him dance he wanted nothing more than to feel their bare skin touching. He didn’t even care what they did; he just wanted to be touched.

“Frankie...” He whimpered, bucking his hips a little and squeezing his erection on the upstroke. “Please baby…” He sighed, Frank just sat back watching him, making no move to come closer.

“Please what?” Frank purred huskily, his own cock twitching. He hadn’t been expecting Gerard to beg but God was it making him hot. He wondered fleetingly if this meant Gerard would allow him to touch him _there_ but he quickly pushed that thought away. It wouldn’t be fair to just spring it on him after promising he wouldn’t try tonight.

“Please... Please just... Just do something. Kiss me, touch me, anything.” He begged, his hand working rapidly over his cock as he began to lose control, his eyes squeezed shut so that he didn’t realise Frank was moving until he was over him, knocking his hand away from his erection.

“Gee, you’re so fucking sexy.” Frank growled, taking Gerard by surprise as he smothered his lips in his own. “Mmph...” Frank pressed his body close to Gerard’s, sliding their cocks together as he kissed the older man fiercely. He had been dying to kiss Gerard properly all night and now he was his whole body was singing with the relief. 

Gerard groaned and wrapped his arms around Frank, submitting to him as Frank rocked their hips together, causing a sweet friction between their erections. 

Gerard’s whole body was on fire as he kissed Frank, moaning as the younger man pushed his tongue into his mouth and completely overpowered him with a fierce lust. Gerard didn’t think he had ever felt like this before and he moaned huskily as Frank’s tongue rubbed against his own, their rutting hips making Gerard’s cock leak with pre cum. In that moment he could think of nothing but Frank, couldn’t feel anything but the heat of his body and the intensity of their lust.

“F – Fuck...” Gerard gasped, panting as Frank broke from his lips and began to kiss down his body. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and struggled to hold back his moans and Frank kissed and licked his way down his chest. Maybe it was because they’d been dying to do this all night, making it was the music playing, the song now onto Psycho holiday. Gerard hadn’t listened to Pantera in ages, but suddenly he just wanted to fuck to the beat.

Frank breathed hotly over one of Gerard’s nipples and smirked as the older man shuddered in response. Frank’s cock was twitching against Gerard’s abdomen, and he could feel the heat radiating from Gerard’s throbbing length against his own skin. He wished fleetingly that he could just push into him and rock against him all night, but he knew he needed to push those thoughts away and be patient. He had faith that in time Gerard would be happy to bottom but not now... The wait would make it better anyway.

Gerard gasped and moaned shakily as Frank flicked his tongue against one of his nipples, the other being teased by his fingertips as he sucked and pinched to his heart’s content. Gerard pushed his chest up eagerly, seeking more sensation as his whole body quivered. He was so hard it hurt and he was dying for Frank to stop teasing him.

“F – Frankie...” He choked, Frank gazing up at him through his lashes and smirking as he bit Gerard’s nipple particularly hard, soothing the pain away with his tongue before he began to kiss down again. “F – Frank...”

“Shh...” Frank purred, kissing his way down Gerard’s stomach before breathing hotly against the tip of his erection. 

Gerard gazed down at Frank with hazy eyes, his body aching for his touch. He was tensed up, waiting and expecting Frank to suck him into his mouth and he groaned in despair as instead the porn star began to kiss down his inner thighs instead.

“Frankie... God, please... Stop teasing me.” He whimpered, his body on fire. He hadn’t been prepared to get so worked up tonight and he was desperate for Frank to bring him relief. Frank smirked and nibbled gently at Gerard’s thigh, his hands smoothing down his hips.

“Shh... I’m gonna make you feel so good baby.” Frank whispered, kissing up again and breathing hotly over Gerard’s balls.

“Oh!” Gerard shivered and threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut as he leant up on his elbows. He had almost completely forgotten that Frank had shaved him earlier and suddenly he realised what Frank had been planning to do all night. His lust wouldn’t allow him to feel embarrassed and he whimpered softly, begging Frank to ‘do it’.

Frank chuckled and nodded, nipping Gerard’s thigh one last time before he ran the point of his tongue from the base of Gerard’s shaft down over his balls, his tongue slipping behind them and nudging against Gerard’s perineum before sweeping back up again. He smirked as Gerard released a gasp that became a shaky, uncertain moan. Frank struggled not to chuckle and focus on his task at hand as he licked gently and teasingly all over Gerard’s sack, the older man gripping tight to the sheets.

“Oh God...” Gerard hadn’t been expecting it to feel so good and he struggled not to moan like a cheap whore as Frank slowly sucked against him, pulling one ball into his mouth and rolling his tongue around it before switching to the other one. It felt ridiculous and filthy and Gerard didn’t want to like it but God, he was on fire.

“Frankie... Oh...” He sighed, arching his back and letting his head fall back so that the tendons in his neck stood out. Frank gazed up at him through his lashes and felt his cock twitch at the sight, forcing him to wrap a hand around it to relieve some of the pressure. He loved knowing he could make him feel good, loved knowing he was the first to do this to him and he couldn’t wait to start pushing other boundaries.

Frank sighed and lathed his tongue down Gerard’s perineum again, feeling him shiver and tense a little before relaxing again as Frank slid his tongue back up and continued on up the length of his shaft. Gerard sighed and released a quiet breath of delight, Frank starting to slowly jack off his own cock.

“Been dying to taste you all night Gee.” He whispered huskily, his breath sailing over the head of Gerard’s erection and he groaned quietly. 

“Fuck Frankie...” He whimpered, his hands gripping tighter to the sheets and his toes curled a little as Frank finally sucked the tip into his mouth and began to swirl his tongue around him. Gerard felt his head spin in delight and he struggled to keep his hips down as Frank kept up a slow, teasing pace, driving him crazy.

Frank sighed in delight at Gerard’s taste, digging his tongue into the slit to try and steal more pre cum before he began to sink down over his erection, relaxing his throat to swallow him down. He closed his eyes and sucked gently as he smoothed his tongue against the vein standing out along the shaft. He could feel Gerard’s cock twitching every now and then as it lay hot and heavy on his tongue and he jacked his own cock faster as pleasure swirled inside him.

Both men were lost in a lusty haze and Gerard could do nothing but moan quietly and tremble as Frank sucked and licked all over him. Frank of course could deep throat and Gerard was hardly surprised as Frank took him down so far his lips were spread wide and pressed to his balls. 

Frank took a deep breath through his nose and steadied himself before he began to bob his head up and down, sucking and licking as much as he could whilst Gerard was pressed down his throat. His voice would be trashed after this he knew but as Gerard began to lose control and buck his hips he decided he just didn’t care. He lifted his hand not around his cock to Gerard’s balls and rolled them around his palm, tugging and squeezing gently as Gerard began to fuck his mouth.

Gerard was beyond himself in pleasure so that he barely even noticed what he was doing for a moment. As soon as he did his heart lurched, worried Frank wouldn’t be happy but when he glanced down Frank’s face was calm and his hand was working rapidly over his own length so Gerard knew he was fine. The artist blushed and bit his lip, moaning as he continued lifting and lowering his hips, pushing his cock deeper into Frank’s hot, wet mouth and riding through the waves of pleasure that were tearing through his groin.

Gerard could feel that he was getting close, his balls were heating and tightening and he tried to choke out a warning but Frank only sucked harder in response.

“F – Fuck... Fuck... Frankie I... I’m gonna cum...” He whimpered, Frank making a soft noise around his cock, somewhere between a laugh and a moan and Gerard couldn’t hold back any longer. 

Frank groaned as Gerard arched his back and gripped painfully tight to the sheets, his cum exploding down Frank’s throat and almost choking him. Frank squeezed is eyes shut tighter and swallowed as much as he could, but Gerard was cumming hard and Frank soon had to pull off before he gagged.

He gasped and moaned as Gerard finished cumming against his lips and soon Frank was spilling his own release over his fingers, shuddering and shaking as he came harder than he had in a long time. He moaned through his orgasm and licked the cum from his lips as much as he could before chasing the drop running down the side of his chin with his fingers and sucking it from the digits.

Gerard watched Frank with his body still trembling as he came down from his high. Seeing Frank eagerly lick his fingers and lips clean was making him want to just go all over again and he hissed in a mixture of pleasure and pain as Frank dipped down to lick his over sensitive cock clean.

Frank wiped his own cum off his hand onto the sheets before he crawled up Gerard’s body, cupping his face and pulling him into a searing kiss. Gerard gasped and moaned slightly as his tongue met Frank’s, tasting himself and making him shiver. He had never felt so good in his life and he wrapped his arms tighter around Frank, feeling spent and smitten and so... so happy.

“Frankie... You... You’re amazing.” He mewled as they broke apart and Frank giggled as he lay down on Gerard’s chest, nuzzling against his warm skin and feeling his heart racing against his cheek.

“Mm... So are you sugar.” He whispered, tugging the covers up over and hitching a leg over Gerard’s hips. “The best.” He sighed dreamily, Gerard raising his eyebrows in surprise and grinning like an idiot as his heart fluttered and missed a beat.

xXx

“Hi, I wonder if you can help me. I’m looking for err... Gerard Way?” Brian looked up from where he was stood beside the desk in the entrance hall of Cartoon Network. He had been on his way out to meet Matt for his lunch break and had stopped to speak to the receptionist Lisa to see if she was up for joining them and a few others for drinks that night to celebrate the start of the weekend. At Gerard’s name he looked curiously at the blonde man stood at the desk.

“Mr Way? Do you have an appointment to see him?” Lisa asked politely, smiling sweetly at the man who was looking a little nervous and out of place. He was wearing a ratty old pair of converse that looked on the brink of falling apart, his baggy jeans and over sized Misfits t-shirt doing nothing to hide how skinny he was. Brian quirked an eyebrow and turned to face the man properly, looking him up and down.

“I... No, I... I’m sorry I’m not here on business. I just wanted to talk to him, I heard he worked here.” The man said ever so quietly, his voice timid and Brian bit his lip. Who was this guy? He wondered if he was in trouble, if he desperately needed to see Gerard.

“Gerard isn’t here right now.” He spoke up, both the man and Lisa looking to him but Brian just held the man’s gaze. His eyes were watery blue, his blonde hair lank and greasy. “He’s gone across state to see his brother. Can I help you instead?” He asked gently, the man shaking his head and chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment.

“No... I... When will he be back?” He asked quietly, Brian shrugging.

“Monday I guess. Shall I take your name and number? I can ask him to call you when he returns.” He offered politely but the man just shook his head again and began to walk backwards, looking nervous and skittish.

“No... No thank you. Thanks. I... I’ll just go. Thanks.” Brian frowned as the man turned and strode out of the building quickly, almost knocking into several people in his haste. Once he had gone Brian exchanged a bemused look with Lisa, it clear neither of them had a clue who the guy was so Brian just shrugged and tried to laugh it off. He was sure it wasn’t important...


	13. Chapter thirteen

Frank stretched and groaned as he used his hip to slam the car door shut. The drive to visit Mikey had been long, and both he and Gerard were tired, but now that they had arrived Frank was in exceptionally high spirits. 

“Man, I cannot wait to meet your brother.” He smirked, arms still above his head as he stretched his sleeping muscles. Gerard rolled his eyes fondly and smiled as he locked the car, grabbing his rucksack full of his and Frank’s overnight things and slinging it over his shoulder. 

“I bet.” He scoffed, walking round the front of the car and taking Frank’s hand when he joined him. Frank may have been excited to meet Mikey, but Gerard was feeling anxious. He knew both his brother and his boyfriend were looking forward to irritating each other and Gerard just wanted them to get along. “Try to give him a chance.” He pleaded softly, Frank chuckling and nudging Gerard’s ribs with his elbow.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna bite his head off. I’ll see whether he’s giving me a chance first.” He smirked, Gerard frowning at him from the corner of his eye as he and Frank walked across the university campus. Gerard already knew which halls were Mikey’s and where his room was from previous visits so he had asked Mikey not to come out to meet them. He knew the walk to his room would be valuable time to give Frank this last minute reminder.

“He’ll be sceptical of you at first...” He admitted quietly, lacing his fingers with Frank’s as both men gazed with some amazement at the large, white university building. It looked pretty fancy, especially for Frank who had barely managed to graduate High school. “But that’s only because he’s kinda protective over me. We’re really close ya know?” 

“Sure, I get it.” Frank nodded, gazing around with slightly widened eyes at the many students milling around. It was early evening by now, but it seemed some kids still had lectures to go to. A few were holding books and folders, chatting to friends or escaping the world via their headphones as they rushed by. Others though were dressed up in cocktail dresses or jeans and shirts, clearly getting ready for a night out. Frank may have never gone to college, but he’d heard about the crazy parties.

“So you’ll be nice to him right?” Gerard asked nervously, tugging gently on Frank’s hand to lead him round the main building towards a line of other buildings with different names above the front doors. Frank realised they must be the halls of residences.

“I’ll be nice to him if he’s nice to me.” Frank shrugged, glancing at Gerard’s anxious face and squeezing his hand comfortingly as he chuckled. “You know me Gee, I give what I get.” He smirked, Gerard groaning as he rolled his eyes. 

“That’s what worries me.” He admitted through a chuckle, Frank scoffing and smirking as Gerard tugged him to the first building on the row and pushed open the heavy security door.

Inside there was a long hallway stretching right across to the other end of the building. Other corridors branched off it, the walls lined with plain wooden doors with brass numbers pinned to the top. The hallway was narrow and Frank had to walk a little behind Gerard so that he didn’t scrape along the doors. It felt dark and claustrophobic and Frank wondered if all college halls were like this.

“He’s on the third floor.” Gerard muttered as he pushed open another door to reveal a set of stairs. Frank wrinkled his nose up at the grey laminate flooring and peered uneasily up to see how far three floors was exactly.

“Isn’t there an elevator?” He groaned as Gerard began pulling him up the winding stair case, Frank stomping along behind. He couldn’t help it if he was lazy. If there was an easier option then he always took it.

“There is.” Gerard smirked, laughing a little at Frank’s disgruntled expression. “But the students are always finding ways to break it, trust me, you don’t wanna risk it. Last time I visited I took the elevator and ended up stuck between the third and second floor for an hour.” 

“This place sounds like a hell hole.” Frank scoffed, panting a little as they rounded the corner for the second floor and continued up. “Is a degree really worth it?” He groaned, Gerard laughing and smirking at him.

“Oh come on Frankie, you’re not that unfit.” He chuckled, a little breathless himself but he could see the landing for the third floor now.

“How do you know unfit I am?” Frank challenged, slumping against Gerard’s side once he stepped onto the third floor landing. 

“Well, with all the exercise you do for your job you shouldn’t be anyway...” Frank glowered at Gerard’s smirk, slapping his arm lightly as the older man dragged him through the door and into another narrow corridor. All the numbers here started with ‘3’ and Frank stuck close to Gerard as they walked across the carpet that was full of cigarette burns and sticky patches.

“Can I have a piggy back?” Frank groaned, Gerard laughing though he obediently stopped and stooped down for Frank to hop onto his back.

“You’re such a whiny bitch, you know that?” Gerard smirked as Frank clambered up onto him and locked his legs around his waist. 

“Oh you did not just call me a bitch.” Frank gasped, swatting Gerard’s bicep before wrapping his arms around his neck and slumping on him as Gerard continued walking. “I’m tired okay, it was a long drive getting here.”

“You didn’t even drive Frankie, and you slept the first two hours of it.”

“That isn’t the point.” Frank shrugged. “I have less energy than you, I have to do real work for my job as you just so kindly pointed out.”

“Having sex is not real work.” Gerard smirked, biting back laughter as Frank swatted him again.

“And drawing is?”

“It is compared to sex.”

“You’re just jealous.” Frank scoffed, slumping once more as Gerard came to a halt outside one of the doors and rapped his knuckles against it. Frank instantly slid off Gerard’s back, deciding it probably wouldn’t make the best first impression if the first time Mikey saw him he was using his brother as a slave. Gerard glanced at him and smirked, sliding an arm around his waist and holding him close as they waited for Mikey to open the door.

It didn’t take the youngest Way long. They heard him unlocking the door before he opened it, and then he was there, suddenly grabbing Gerard and hugging him tight with a cry of happiness. Gerard seemed to respond just as enthusiastically and Frank was forced to take a step back to allow the two of them a moment of pretty camp squealing and jumping about.

Frank bit back a smile and watched with curious eyes as Gerard hugged Mikey for a long moment, still in the doorway. The two brothers were whispering something to each other and it seemed to take them a long time to remember Frank was here too. 

“Oh! Mikey, I want you to meet Frank.” Gerard suddenly gasped, turning to take Frank’s hands and tug him into the room where Mikey had retreated. Frank idly kicked the door shut behind him and allowed Gerard to move him infront so he could finally see his little brother. “Frankie, this is Mikey.”

“Hey.” Mikey was looking at Frank with eyes just as curious and Frank rose his eyebrows in slight surprise. Mikey wasn’t what he had been expecting. He was taller than Gerard... A lot taller than Frank, and skinny too. He had floppy light brown hair that looked like he’d straightened it far too much, hiding one eye that was already behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses.

“Hi...” Frank mumbled, scanning Mikey’s skin tight jeans and white and black striped long sleeved shirt. The hemline had risen just enough to reveal pointed hipbones and Frank thought fleetingly how well Mikey would do in the porn business as a twink. 

“So... You’re Gerard’s new boyfriend?” Mikey said slowly, his own eyes taking Frank in with a look of equal surprise. Apparently Frank wasn’t what Mikey had been expecting either. 

“I guess I am.” Frank smirked, Mikey raising an eyebrow at the sparkle in his eyes and Gerard quickly stepped forward to get talking.

“He met Elena already, she loves him.” He grinned, hoping that might show Mikey how perfect Frank was for him. He could already tell both men were psyching each other out and deciding whether they were going to make this hard or easy, and Gerard wanted it to be easy. He just wanted everyone to get along and have a good time. “We went to that Italian restaurant, the one in New York? I said I’d take you there when you come home next?”

“Uhuh...” Mikey nodded, his eyes never leaving Frank. He wasn’t sure if he liked him or not. He looked like the type of guy Mikey would see in his lectures or out with his friends and wish wistfully that he could look as cool as that. But after their phone conversation and the knowledge he was dating his older brother he wasn’t so sure whether Frank looked cool or like an asshole. 

“We’re gonna be staying in that hotel just down the road, so I was thinking maybe tonight you could show us around the town or...” Gerard trailed off, biting his lip when he realised no one was listening to him. He half expected Frank and Mikey to start circling each other like a pair of lions.

Frank was stood with his weight on one hip, his hands resting lazily in the pockets of his jeans, a smirk still playing about his lips. Mikey was stood with his arms folded, his body rigid as he eyed the porn star sceptically.

“Nice tattoos.” He finally settled on saying. Gerard blinked in surprise, and even Frank had to admit he was sure he had misheard for a moment. 

“Uh... Thanks.” He said slowly, Mikey scanning his tattooed arms.

“That Black Flag?” He asked, nodding at four black bars inked into his skin and Frank’s eyes sparkled, his smirk growing as he nodded.

“You bet.” 

“Damaged is like... my favourite album ever.” 

“Really? No way, mine too!”

“I used to play it on cassette so often it completely burned out. I was so devastated, until Gee bought me the CD.” Mikey started to chuckle softly and Gerard watched in wide eyed as amazement as Frank suddenly slung his arm round him and disappeared across the room, laughing and chatting with Mikey as if they had been friends for years.

Gerard stood awkwardly in the hallway, just gawping at the spot where Mikey had been giving Frank a death stare just seconds before. He had been hoping they’d get along but he hadn’t been expecting it to happen that fast... or for it to end with him left alone and forgotten.

Mikey and Frank had disappeared into the tiny kitchen that came with Mikey’s room to make coffee for everyone. Being in his final year Mikey had a type of bedsit, meaning he got his own kitchen and bathroom unlike first year students. He ought to have moved into a real house with some friends like other students did... but Mikey wasn’t too good at making friends he could feel that close to.

Gerard waited for a moment before he joined the two men in the kitchen, just leaning in the doorway and watching with some fascination at the way they laughed and talked to each other. Mikey was bouncing off Frank’s words in a way Gerard had never seen before. Mikey was an awkward kind of guy, he had never just _clicked_ with anyone, except maybe his girlfriend Alicia, and so to see him acting so naturally around Frank was both a shock and a relief.

“Coffee Gee?” Gerard was jolted back into the moment by Mikey looking over his shoulder at him, smiling curiously. 

“Oh, sure.” Gerard was still too busy being amazed to think straight and he forced a smile at Mikey until he turned back to the boiled kettle and began pouring water into mugs. Frank was leaning lazily on the counter, tapping a teaspoon against his palm as he discussed music with Mikey and the many bands he had been in throughout his life.

“So is that what you do? Make music?” Mikey asked curiously as he handed Frank one of the mugs and then another to Gerard. “Come through guys.” He smiled, leading the way back into the main room which boasted nothing but a simple bed and computer chair. Mikey took the chair so that Gerard and Frank could sit together on the bed, but the porn star still had eyes only for Mikey.

“I’m not in any bands at the moment, too busy with my job ya know? But if an opportunity comes along then sure, I’d love to keep making music. It’s always been a dream of mine to be in a band.” He sighed wistfully, Mikey giving a sage like nod.

“Me too...” He said softly, his eyes big and innocent looking behind the lenses of his glasses.

It was Gerard’s dream to be in a band too, but he didn’t mention it; he felt like if he said it now he’d just sound like he was copying. But then, who didn’t dream about being in a band? Gerard pouted a little and took a sip of his coffee, letting the liquid burn his throat. He was feeling strange as Mikey and Frank chatted to each other, almost... left out. Even though Mikey was _his_ brother and Frank was _his_ boyfriend he felt as if he was just in their way. This had never happened before... Whenever he and Mikey were together people generally took more interest in Gerard. He didn’t mean for that to happen, Mikey was so just so shy and Gerard had a tendency to talk too much... this was the first time the tables had turned.

“So, what _do_ you do Frank?” Mikey asked softly, sipping his own coffee. “For a job I mean.”

“Oh, I’m a porn star.” Frank smiled, as if it was a totally normal thing to say and Gerard blushed as Mikey started to choke on his coffee. Frank just smiled lazily and sipped his own drink, used to this kind of reaction. He had already discussed with Gerard in the car whether they were going to tell Mikey the truth, and after some persuading Gerard had finally agreed that it was better to have less lies to keep track of. 

“A... A... Does Grandma know!?” Mikey turned instantly to Gerard, his face a picture of surprise and Gerard’s blush intensified.

“We thought it’d be best not tell her straight away...” He said slowly, Frank taking his hand and squeezing softly as Mikey gawped at him. “We told her that Frank works in a guitar shop for now.”

“For now? For _now_. When exactly do you intend to tell her the truth?” Mikey demanded, Frank shuffling closer to Gerard, touching their shoulders together and hoping to give him some sort of comfort. Frank was used to reactions like these, but he knew for Gerard it might be difficult and embarrassing.

“Well... We’ll tell her the truth if and when we decide she needs to know.” Gerard finally settled on saying, feeling a little sick with anxiousness. He hadn’t wanted to tell Mikey the truth of Frank’s job at all, and this was exactly why. He had known he would react like this.

“Gerard... But... She...” Mikey trailed off, at a loss for words. He wanted to say that Elena deserved to know, but when he thought about it he supposed it was probably a better idea if she didn’t. Especially if she liked Frank... Mikey had liked Frank too, until he found this out. 

“So... If you’re a porn star,” He said slowly, turning to look at Frank again. “That means you have sex with other guys right?” 

“Well... Yeah.” Frank shrugged like it was nothing, but not even he could stop himself from blushing. “Gerard knew that before he got into a relationship with me though. He understands it’s not cheating, he knows he’s the only man I want.” Frank’s voice was full of conviction and Gerard couldn’t help but smile a little as he squeezed his hand. He had no doubt about this kind of thing now, but he could easily see that Mikey wasn’t so convinced.

“If you don’t want sex with other guys then why don’t you just get another job?” He asked simply, Frank sighing and resisting the urge to roll his eyes. It was a question he had been asked a million times before, mostly by his past boyfriends, and he shrugged as he looked at Mikey.

“I enjoy my job.” He said honestly, making the youngest Way roll his eyes. “I’m not going to leave a job that pays great money and that I enjoy just because I’m in a relationship. That may sound harsh to you, but Gerard knew what he was getting into when he agreed to date me. I was honest from the beginning, I have nothing to be ashamed of.” Frank’s voice was firm, allowing no room for argument and Gerard felt a strange flutter in his stomach. As much as he hated the fact that he had to share Frank with a load of porn actors, he agreed with everything his lover had said and he couldn’t help but feel proud of him.

“I’m okay with Frank’s job Mikey.” He said softly, Mikey looking at him with slightly hurt eyes. “I knew from the start... I don’t mind.” 

“But Gerard... How can you be fine with that? How can you be fine with being just another guy?” Mikey whimpered, hating to sound unreasonable but he loved Gerard more than anything, and he wanted his brother to be treated right. It had been so long since Gerard had had a boyfriend, Mikey didn’t want to end up seeing him hurt just like before.

“Hey, just another guy? Listen Mikey, I may have sex with men as part of my job but Gerard is so much more than that. He isn’t _just_ another guy, he is _the_ guy I wanna spend my time with and if you don’t like that then I’m sorry, but it’s Gerard’s decision whether he wants to be with me or not.” 

For a long moment all three men fell silent, Gerard blushing furiously as Mikey stared at him and Frank in shock. Mikey was trying to come to terms with everything, but it was difficult. He had never imagined Gerard would be dating a _porn star_.

“But... Gee I...” Mikey sighed, forcing himself to calm down and think rationally. If Gerard was happy – and it was clear that he was – then he supposed he shouldn’t cause an argument about it. “What about before? What about what Bert did to you?” Mikey asked ever so quietly, Frank looking at Gerard with a confused expression as Gerard blushed more than ever, the redness going right down his neck. Mikey knew he was potentially crossing a line, but he had to ask. He had to make sure Gerard had thought about this.

“What about Bert?” Gerard’s cheeks were flaming, his voice hard as he bristled. He hated having Bert brought up like this and Mikey knew it.

“I just... He hurt you before by... I just don’t want that to happen again...” Mikey said as slowly and gently as he could, Gerard’s fists clenching. He looked like he wanted to jump to his feet and storm out but Frank’s hand touching his shoulder made him calm down a little. Frank was looking confused as he gazed at the older man, wondering what things Mikey was unearthing.

“I... He... Frank isn’t going to do that. Don’t talk about things you don’t understand.” Gerard’s voice was shaking as he snapped at Mikey, the younger of the two biting his lip and bowing his head, embarrassed.

“I just worry about you.” He sighed, Frank rolling his eyes a little.

“Okay I am still in the room guys, you know that?” He asked, starting to grow irritated. He wasnt sure what Mikey was trying to suggest he was going to do, or who this Bert guy was, but he could tell it was upsetting Gerard and he wasn’t cool with that. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s not important.” Gerard quickly answered before Mikey could. Mikey frowned and turned to Frank, opening his mouth to speak but Gerard cut across him again. “Mikey, it’s _not_ important.” He snarled, Mikey meeting his gaze slowly, holding it for a long moment before he sighed and nodded.

“Alright...” He whispered, bowing his head and staring into his coffee as he let the subject drop.

xXx

Brian groaned and arched upwards into Matt’s touch as the muscled man pinned his wrists above his head. Matt’s mouth was working wonders over Brian’s chest and nipples, sucking, biting and licking a trail over his tattooed skin. Brian groaned again and arched his chest up, whining softly as Matt rubbed his thigh against his crotch.

“Mm... You’re so hot tonight babe.” Matt chuckled, nibbling his way up Brian’s neck. “What’s go into you huh?”

“Nngh... Am I ever not hot for you?” Brian whimpered, bucking his hips up to get more friction against his cock that was straining in his jeans. 

“Good point...” Matt smirked, sucking hard on Brian’s neck to leave a mark. He slid his hands up his thighs and moved to undo his button and zipper. Brian’s hands were smoothing over Matt’s broad back, dipping and diving with the contours of his muscles. He was so turned on, but then he always was when Matt did this.

Matt smirked as he met Brian’s lips in a heated kiss, yanking down his jeans and underwear before tugging off his own. Once both men were naked Matt got busy rubbing his cock against Brian’s, swallowing his moans and groaning himself as Brian writhed beneath him. The smaller man always got ridiculously aroused and it made Matt’s whole body just sing with pleasure. 

Brian closed his eyes and surrendered himself to the pleasure coursing through his body. He couldn’t get enough of Matt, and now that Frank was with Gerard for the weekend it meant that Matt was free to take a few days off and just spend them with Brian. They had planned to do something fun for the weekend, but they hadn’t planned anything official. Right now Brian wouldn’t have complained if they decided to just stay in bed the whole time.

Matt stopped biting and kissing Brian’s neck long enough to lean across and grab the small bottle of lube from his bedside drawer. He knew that both he and Brian were clean so they had stopped using protection a few days before hand, and since then things had really gone up a notch. Now Matt came to think about it that was probably why Brian was hornier than usual...

“Don’t bother prepping me Matt, unn... Just want you in me now...” Brian groaned, his voice strained and Matt chuckled lightly. He met his lover in a deep kiss, rushing to pop open the lube and squeeze some over his throbbing erection. He sucked against Brian’s tongue as he worked his fist over his length, pumping slowly to spread the lube but not bring his climax any closer. He was already achingly close... That was just the effect Brian had on him.

Brian spread his legs wide and angled his hips up, inviting Matt to enter him. He was already panting softly when they broke the kiss, his eyes closed and his hair splayed out on the pillow. Matt leant back to get a good look at him for a second, sighing as he drank in the sight of him. 

Brian cracked open an eyelid and smirked a little when he felt Matt’s stare, though he didn’t say anything. He kept his hands pressed to Matt’s back, drawing patterns and delighting in the feeling of his soft skin as he gazed back at him through heavily lidded eyes. Brian always looked half asleep in Matt’s opinion, his eyelids half shut so he constantly looked at people through his eyelashes. Matt found it ridiculously sexy, just like he found Brian’s defined cheekbones and cupid bow lips.

“Nnghh...” Brian squeezed his eyes shut and hissed in slight surprise when Matt suddenly pressed a finger inside him, holding it there for just a second before he pulled it back far enough to squeeze a second in beside it. Brian shuddered at the welcome contact and shifted his hips slowly. “Matt I said –”

“I know, I’m just making sure.” Matt purred, twisting his fingers deeper inside his lover and leaning down to kiss him wantonly. He didn’t want to tear Brian, even though he knew that his body was well adjusted to his now. His fingers had slid in easily, and Brian was soft and pliant as he scissored them. 

“God Matt...” Brian gasped as Matt pushed the digits deeper and rubbed the pads of his fingers over his prostate. “Fuck baby... Fuck just... fucking fuck me...” Brian whined, Matt chuckling hoarsely against the hollow of his throat where he was trailing a line of kisses. Brian always had a dirty mouth, but it got even worse when he was hot like this. Matt loved it though, he had never been with anyone as responsive as Brian. It was like fucking a porn star, but Matt had seen enough of those to tell that Brian wasn’t faking it like they did.

“Alright alright... I’m moving.” He grunted, chuckling softly as he pulled his fingers free and moved his erection to press against Brian’s ass instead. He nudged the head against his sphincter muscle, applying just enough pressure to dip against it but not push inside. Brian whined huskily and scraped his nails up Matt’s neck and into his short hair, tugging at the spikes running down the centre of his scalp.

“Maaatt...” He all but sobbed, pushing his hips down and growling when Matt moved his hips back to keep the pressure the same. Matt couldn’t help himself, he loved to tease Brian, especially when he was as eager as this. Matt liked to draw sex out, so sometimes he had to slow down Brian who wanted it fast and wanted it _now_. 

“You’re so impatient.” He chuckled darkly, kissing up Brian’s neck to bite against the shell of his ear, delighting in the ripple that went through Brian’s muscles.

“Fuck Matt... God, please don’t tease me... Fuck... You fucking asshole...” Brian whimpered, still trying to push his hips down and chase Matt’s cock. “Matt _please_.” He begged, yanking harder on Matt’s hair and gasping when the larger man suddenly slammed into him without a single hint of warning.

“Oh FUCK!” Brian cried, arching his back and flailing his legs a little, not sure whether he wanted to spread them wide, hook them over Matt’s shoulders or squeeze them round his hips. “Fuck!”

“Happy now?” Matt asked around a smirk, his voice dark and gravelly with lust. He could feel the way Brian was trembling around him, his face flushed and a little surprised. Matt resisted the urge to laugh and helped the poor guy out, grabbing one of his ankles where he was still trying to figure out what the hell to do with his legs, pushing against the sole of his foot until he lifted his leg enough to hook over Matt’s shoulder.

“Y – Yeah... Yeah...” Brian sighed, nodding and shivering as Matt took hold of his other leg and lifted it enough to slide round his back, just a little higher than his waist. It forced Brian open and gave Matt a deeper angle of penetration, his balls pressing against Brian’s ass. “Oh yeah...” Brian sighed again, arching his back a little and feeling the muscles in the back of his leg tighten from the awkward angle on Matt’s shoulder. 

“Good...” Matt smirked, arching his body over Brian’s so he could look down at him as he began to thrust his hips back and forth. Brian released a shuddered groan and tugged harder at Matt’s hair as he arched his hips up to meet his thrusts. 

The one good thing about Brian’s dirty mouth was that he always became surprisingly quiet once he’d gotten what he wanted. As soon as Matt was really making him feel good Brian would fall silent, as if he was too stunned to speak, and would simply moan like a whore whilst he let his body speak all the words he couldn’t get out.

Matt groaned quietly and pushed faster, thrusting into Brian smoothly but quickly as he gazed down at his lover. His strong hands were keeping Brian’s legs in position, letting him fuck him without difficulty and meaning Brian could relax his leg muscles without fear of them dropping. He was making loud, keening moans as he arching his back and bucked his hips, writhing on the sheets as his cock visibly pulsed against his stomach. Matt’s cock twitched in response, his breathing getting heavier and heavier as he lost himself in Brian’s body.

Brian was beyond himself with pleasure, the feeling of Matt’s cock rubbing against his inner walls causing his own cock to leak pre cum onto his stomach. His body was rippling with pleasure and he could do nothing but moan and dig his nails into Matt’s back, begging him with his body language to go faster. Somehow, just from his bucking hips and scratching nails Matt got the message and began putting more power behind his thrusts, pounding into Brian hard and fast.

Brian’s mouth gaped open as he panted harshly in between hoarse moans. Matt had found his prostate as quick as he always did and was mercilessly rubbing against it with each thrust in, causing Brian’s muscles to contract around his cock.

Brian arched his back and felt the stretch of his muscles in his legs, the burn making him even hotter and he arched further, throwing his head back until his Adam’s apple stood out. Matt groaned and leant forward to sink his teeth into it, feeling Brian’s moan vibrate through his mouth and fucked him faster, delighting in the way Brian’s nails scrabbled at his back, trying to gain purchase.

“Fuck... Fuck, fuck, fuck...” There it was, the tell tale chanting of obscenities that Brian always released when he was close. Matt chuckled against his throat, he knew Brian too well. He pushed harder against his prostate, keeping his cock deep inside him as he stopped thrusting and started rocking his hips instead. The constant friction on Brian’s sweet spot was almost too much and the smaller man was soon crying out hoarsely as he came hard against his and Matt’s stomachs.

Matt growled into his throat and began thrusting again, slow and steady this time, so that he felt the pulsing of Brian’s muscles all down his length. He moved the hand holding Brian’s leg up his back down to grasp his cock instead, pumping it quickly to milk Brian of his orgasm and send more cum spurting over his stomach.

Brian moaned huskily, arching his back more as his leg slid down to Matt’s waist, making the stretch in his other leg even more painful but he was too busy riding through a powerful orgasm to care. Matt was still thrusting slowly into him, dragging out his climax and squeezing his cock until he didn’t have a single drop of cum left to give. 

Brian managed to keep his hips up long enough for Matt to thrust into him a few more times and then reach his own climax, but without Matt’s strong hands keeping him up Brian was forced to slump boneless against the sheets. Matt hissed as his cock slipped out of his lover and he shuddered as he grabbed it, using his hand to jack himself through his orgasm, groaning through clenched teeth as he tipped his head back and came over the crease between Brian’s thigh and pubic region. 

Brian sighed and slowly ran his hands over his face and into his sweat dampened hair, focusing on getting his breath back and savouring the beautiful noises Matt made as he came down from his orgasm. 

Matt gazed at Brian through his eyelashes as he slowly released his softening cock and slumped down beside his lover. Brian instantly rolled over to curl into Matt’s muscled arms, burying his face in his neck and breathing in his scent with a sigh of delight. For a long moment the two men said nothing as they held onto each other, basking in the afterglow and smiling at each other. Matt couldn’t help but chuckle a little as he finally leant close to kiss Brian, thinking again how wonderfully responsive he was during sex and shaking his head fondly. 

Brian cracked open an eyelid and smirked at Matt, kissing him gently again for a second. “Mm... What you chuckling at?” He asked softly, Matt smirking back at him. 

“Just you...” He chuckled, stroking Brian’s back gently as the smaller man quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Did I do something funny?” He asked, trying to look serious though his lips were twitching into a smile, making Matt’s smirk grow.

“You’re just adorable.” He laughed, pulling Brian close to kiss him gently as Brian whined, trying to protest that he was ‘sexy not adorable’ but Matt’s deep kissing soon had his words dying in his throat.

xXx

“Hey, Mikey’s outside, should I go down and let him in?” Frank asked brightly as Gerard stepped out of the hotel bathroom, towel drying his hair. After going out for a meal with Mikey the night before the awkward moment in the uni room had finally passed. Neither of the men had mentioned it since but it was still playing on Frank’s mind. He could tell Gerard didn’t want to talk about it so he didn’t bring it up, but it was eating away at him and he was sure it was probably eating away at Mikey too.

“Sure, I’ll only be five minutes.” Gerard smiled, turning to their case to get some clothes. Frank nodded and grabbed a hoody and his cigarettes, telling Gerard he’d come back up once he’d had a smoke before disappearing out the door.

Outside the hotel Mikey was leaning against a wall, scanning his phone to try and look busy whilst he waited for Frank and Gerard to show. When he spotted Frank walking over to him he smiled and pocketed his phone, biting his lip as he shuffled nervously. He hoped Frank wasn’t mad at him or anything for the day before. The meal had been strangely fine, but now that Mikey had had a chance to sleep on what he’d said he felt ashamed and he only hoped that it wasn’t going to be brought up again.

Frank smiled as he approached Mikey, taking out his cigarettes and lighter as he reached the older man and hopped up onto the wall to sit beside him.

“Hey Mikes.” He said brightly, as if he had known him for years and Mikey relaxed slightly, smiling. Despite everything he had to admit he did like Frank, he was friendly, and he was cool... and Mikey had always wanted to be seen talking to cool people.

“Hey...” 

“You want a smoke?” Frank offered Mikey the packet but the youngest Way shook his head, explaining he didn’t smoke as Frank placed a cigarette between his lips and faced away from Mikey a moment to light it. Once he’d managed to inhale some of the calming smoke into his lungs and exhale it back into the air Frank turned to face Mikey again, cigarette dangling between his lips as he put everything back into his pockets.

“Mikey... Can I speak to you for a sec?” Frank asked softly, his voice husky from the smoke still in his lungs and Mikey bit his lip as he nodded. 

“Sure...” He mumbled, gazing at Frank curiously. The younger man wasn’t looking at him anymore, he was gazing up at the sky, watching the clouds and smoking.

“That guy Bert you mentioned yesterday, who is he?” Frank could pretty much guess that he was an ex boyfriend of Gerard’s, but that was all he could safely assume without jumping to conclusions. He imagined he must be the guy from when Gerard was nineteen but that still didn’t tell him much.

Mikey blushed at Frank’s question and chewed thoughtfully on the inside of his cheek, glancing towards the hotel doors in case Gerard was coming out yet. He knew he should just brush the question off, Gerard wouldn’t want him to say anything. If he felt like Frank needed to know he would have told him himself already.

“I... I don’t think Gee would want me to talk about it...” He said slowly, his blush intensifying when Frank turned to look at him. Frank blinked stupidly for a second, the resemblance between Mikey and Gerard suddenly incredibly apparent whilst Mikey was blushing as he was. Frank smirked a little and sighed, idly flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette and gazing at Mikey in what he hoped was a soothing way.

“I won’t tell him you said anything. I won’t let on I know anything at all. It’s just... been playing on my mind is all, for all I know this could be some be all end all secret.” He sighed, trying to look suitably upset. Mikey began to waver almost immediately, looking nervously at the hotel doors. “Don’t worry, he’ll be five minutes yet.” Frank quickly assured him, his heart racing when he saw Mikey was considering telling him.

“Well...” Mikey looked down at his feet, biting his lip so hard it hurt. He knew he shouldn’t say anything. He loved Gerard so much, and they were incredibly close. Gerard would trust him to keep his mouth shut. But... Maybe if Frank knew the truth then it would make him less likely to end up hurting Gerard in the end.

Frank nodded slowly, begging Mikey with his eyes to tell him. His cigarette was dangling forgotten between his fingers, ash crumbling and dropping to the ground below as Frank stared at Mikey intently. The older man looked at him for a second, hesitating before he groaned and started talking.

“Bert was Gerard’s last boyfriend, he broke up with him years ago.” He sighed, Frank feeling a strange rush of warmth over his scalp, like all the blood in his head had stopped moving and had now got going again. He felt a little dizzy as he nodded, remembering his cigarette and taking a long, calming drag.

“The one from when he was like, nineteen?”

“Yeah.” Mikey nodded, looking down again and picking at a thread on his jeans. “Gee doesn’t like to talk about him much... He broke his heart.” He whispered, Frank’s own heart missing a beat.

“What happened?” He asked just as quietly, already deciding he didn’t like this Bert guy. No one broke Gerard’s heart and got away with it.

“I’m not sure.” Mikey shrugged, still gazing down. “All I know is that he was the first guy Gerard really felt something for, like... He was really in love ya know? Anyone could see it, but him and Bert well...” Mikey hesitated, not really knowing how much he should reveal. “Let’s just say they had some issues they needed to work out. We all thought Bert was dragging Gee down but then after a while they sorted themselves out and it looked like they were going to be perfect together. I was even starting to like Bert a bit and then... It just seemed that out of nowhere he had packed his stuff and left. Gerard never told me why.” Mikey sighed and stopped talking, still staring at his feet. Frank gawped at him for a long moment, taking in everything he had said.

“So uh... So you still don’t know why he left?” He asked softly, finding it hard to believe that Mikey wouldn’t know. Gerard had told him plenty of times how close he and Mikey were, how they told each other everything, it was part of the reason why he insisted in being honest about his job, but Mikey only shook his head.

“I’ve tried asking him tons of times but he gets mad when I bring it up and won’t tell me about it. I could pretty much figure out that Bert left him for someone else... but I dunno... There must be more to it than that. Ever since then Gerard just... He just couldn’t get into a relationship, even though he had plenty of guys trying.” Mikey looked at Frank then, his eyes curious. “But you... God, it’s crazy. I don’t know why but he’s just so relaxed with you, I’ve never seen him like it.” 

Frank blushed deeply as Mikey smiled at him, Frank crushing his cigarette against the wall and dropping it to the floor as he offered a small smile. It was strange to hear something like that. Honestly, Frank had never been in a relationship like this. He had always been able to sense he had to be delicate with Gerard, and he agreed with Mikey that there must be something more to the Bert thing... Something that made Gerard wary of relationships. Knowing he was the one to finally gain the older man’s trust made Frank swell with pride and his stomach fluttered strangely.

“Well... He’s a great guy.” Frank coughed awkwardly, grinning at Mikey as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I really care for him ya know? I don’t ever want to see him hurt.”

“Yeah?” Mikey blushed a little himself as he grinned and leant forward to hug Frank tight. He could tell that Frank was being genuine and he felt a rush of relief as Frank hugged him gently back. “I’m really glad to hear you say that...” He whispered, Frank chuckling and assuring him it was true as they slowly pulled back.

As they pulled apart Frank noticed Gerard walking towards them, his hair still slightly damp and he smiled a little shyly as he waved a hand up. He had seen Frank and Mikey hugging and wondered what had brought it on, but once he reached them Frank got chatting excitedly about all the things they should do that day and Gerard didn’t have a chance to ask.

xXx

Brian was lying on Matt’s chest as they savoured the feeling of being in each other’s arms after another incredible hour in bed. Brian knew they should probably get up and do something with their time. They had the whole weekend to just be together, they could go out somewhere... but with Matt’s arms heavy and warm around his back Brian found he just didn’t want to move.

“Mm... Ya know... Something weird happened at work yesterday.” Brian yawned, snuggling closer to Matt and smiling when the muscular man pulled the blankets up to cover them both again.

“Oh?” Matt smiled, his eyes closed as he played with Brian’s hair and relished the weight of him on his chest. He felt warm and safe and so content. He could lie with Brian forever. 

“Mm...” Brian nodded, drawing lazy patterns over Matt’s tattoos. “Some guy came in asking for Gerard. He looked kinda distressed... When he found out Gerard wasn’t there he shot out again. I offered to let Gee know he’d been but he just said no...” 

“Hmm...” Matt opened his eyes and glanced down at Brian, but the smaller man was still dreamily smiling to himself. Matt smirked a little and continued to run his fingers through his dark hair. “Did you let Gerard know?”

“Nah, I figured I’d just let him know when he gets back to work.” Brian shrugged. He wasn’t even sure he was bringing it up, it had just been playing on his mind a little... The guy had looked really... Weird. 

“Did you recognise the guy?” Matt asked, closing his eyes as he settled down again.

“No... He was just really jittery. Like he was in trouble or on drugs or something.” 

“Probably both.” Matt scoffed, stroking Brian’s back as he thought about it for a second. “Maybe you should let them know though... I mean, if it’s someone important to Gerard and he is in trouble he might want to come home early.” He suggested softly, Brian opening his eyes as he shrugged and looked up at Matt.

“Do you think so? I don’t wanna ruin his and Frank’s weekend.” He mewled, Matt meeting his gaze and smiling warmly.

“I guess... Well, if it was really important the guy would’ve left his name or something.” He shrugged, Brian nodding his agreement and snuggling down again as he and Matt agreed they’d just mention it first thing Monday morning.

Brian was sure it wasn’t important... But no matter how many times he told himself that he couldn’t stop thinking about the tortured look in the blonde man’s eyes and he shuddered as he pressed closer to Matt and squeezed his eyes shut. Whoever the guy looking for Gerard was, Brian was just glad he wasn’t looking for him.


	14. Chapter fourteen

“Gerard?” 

“Mm?”

“Tell me about Bert?”

Gerard tensed up instantly and slowly turned his head to gaze at Frank, his eyes wide and alarmed. The two men had spent all day driving back from Mikey’s college and had collapsed straight into bed at Gerard’s place once they had arrived. They had managed to strip of their clothes and were just lying in one another’s arms, not needing anymore than that. They hadn’t been talking because they didn’t need to... but Frank had been unable to get one thing off his mind all day.

“I... Bert?” Gerard tried to sound confused but it was obvious he knew what Frank was asking and his reluctance to explain was only too clear. “Why do you wanna talk about him?”

“Because...” Frank shrugged, not sure how to voice what he wanted to without upsetting the older man. “Because he seems important.” 

“He’s not.” Gerard scoffed instantly, his eyebrows knitting into a frown. Frank gazed up at him with innocent eyes, his hand starting to drift slowly over Gerard’s chest to relax him. 

“Well, tell me about him anyway?” He asked gently, Gerard’s scowl intensifying and he glanced down at Frank to meet his gaze. He seemed to relent a little when he met Frank’s hazel eyes, but his body remained tense.

“I don’t want to talk about him.” He finally whispered, one hand coming up to cup Frank’s jaw, his thumb sliding beneath his lower lip. “I haven’t seen him since I was nineteen Frank, there’s nothing I could tell you about him that would matter anymore.”

“You know that’s not true.” Frank sighed, anchoring himself up on his elbows so he could cage Gerard beneath him and look at him carefully. “He was your last boyfriend Gee... Something must have happened in that relationship to stop you from getting into another one until now.” He pointed out, his voice soft but firm. He was determined to get the truth out of Gerard. He didn’t want to upset him, but he needed to know exactly who Bert was and what he had done to Gerard to shape him into the man he was now. Bert _was_ important, Frank knew it... He just didn’t know why.

“Jesus Frank, you trying to psychoanalyse me or something?” Gerard scoffed, his cheeks tingeing pink as he turned his face away. 

“No...” Frank sighed, blushing and sitting up with a pout. “I just... Forget it.” He sighed, sliding out of bed and crossing the room to start pulling his clothes back on. Gerard leant up on his elbows to look at him curiously, his heart starting to race.

“Frank?” He mewled, realising he had upset the younger man and his stomach lurched. “What are you doing?”

“Going home.” Frank shrugged, doing up his jeans and grabbing his belt. “I’m obviously just upsetting you.” 

“What? Frank don’t go.” Gerard groaned, sitting up properly and crawling to the end of the bed to sit there and look hopelessly at Frank. He wondered whether calling the younger man a diva would just make him angrier... More than likely, so he kept the word back. “Sit down?”

“No.”

“Frankie...” Gerard groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and running a hand through his hair. He could feel a headache coming on and he pressed his fingertips to his temples. He didn’t want to go through this. He had heard enough of Bert as it was and he didn’t want to talk about him. Frank was the man he had wanted to be with for years... He was supposed to be perfect. He wasn’t supposed to get moody over something so stupid. “Please just come back to bed.”

“How can I Gerard?” Frank sighed, his voice exasperated as he snatched his t-shirt from the floor. “We’re supposed to be a couple but I feel like I hardly know you.” Frank’s eyes were wounded as he gazed at Gerard, the artist stunned for a second.

“What? That’s ridiculous, of course you know me Frankie.” He mewled, getting to his feet and pulling on his underwear quickly. “We know almost everything about each other.”

“Oh come on Gee, you can’t really be that stupid.” Frank scoffed, making Gerard blush and flinch a little. “You can deny it as much as you want but even a blind man could see that Bert was a huge part of your life. If you won’t tell me about him how can I ever believe I know you at all.” Frank sighed, his shirt now on and his arms folded across his chest though his voice remained soft. “The more you try to avoid conversations about him the more worried it makes me.”

“Frank...” Gerard sighed, stepping closer to the porn star but Frank mirrored the movement so that the gap between them didn’t change. “Frank please... I... This is so ridiculous. He’s not a big deal. Why won’t you believe me?” 

“If he’s not a big deal why won’t you tell me about him?” Frank retorted, Gerard’s cheeks blazing red as he scowled. He felt sick and anxious, his stomach tying itself in knots as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

“Because...” Gerard swallowed thickly, the words getting stuck in his throat. “Because...” He tried again and sighed, growing irritated as he ran a hand through his hair and tugged a little on the dark locks. Frank raised his eyebrows, his arms slipping down from his chest as he began to look at Gerard with warmer eyes.

“Because...?” He pushed gently, stepping towards the older man as Gerard took a deep breath and rolled his eyes.

“ _Because_ I... I get embarrassed.” He finally snapped, blushing even more and Frank looked at him in confusion as he approached him. “I get embarrassed okay?”

“Why?” Frank asked softly, almost chuckled as he reached Gerard and laid his hands on his shoulders. “I’m sure whatever you need to say it isn’t embarrassing.” He said as he comfortingly as he could, moving Gerard to sit down in the bed with him again. “Tell me?”

“I don’t want to Frank.” Gerard groaned, burying his face into his hands as he drew his knees up. “I... I trust you, and I really don’t want you thinking I’m hiding anything just...Please, I don’t want to talk about it. Please don’t force me.” 

“Gee...” Frank hesitated, biting his lip as he looked at his lover. He didn’t want to become one of those guys that forced their partner into doing things they didn’t want to, but he couldn’t shake off the need to hear about Bert. “Please...” He whispered, his eyes swirling with sadness as he met Gerard’s gaze. “I promise you, no matter what you say I’ll still want to be with you...”

Gerard looked sceptically at Frank, biting his lip. “How can you know that?” He asked softly, his heart racing erratically still. “How can you make a promise like that when you have no idea what I might say?” 

“Well let’s put it this way.” Frank sighed, taking Gerard’s hand in his. “If you don’t tell me, I’m just going to assume it’s something so awful that I should leave...”

“That’s not fair Frank.” Gerard whined, squeezing Frank’s hand tighter, as if trying to make him stay. “You can’t just give me ultimatums like that.”

“It’s not an ultimatum.” Frank said gently, lacing his and Gerard’s fingers. “I’m just pointing out a fact. If I had something I was obviously hiding from you wouldn’t you panic, wondering what it is?” 

“No, I would trust that you had a good reason for hiding it.” Gerard responded instantly, though his heart twisted at the obvious lie. He knew full well that if Frank was hiding something from him he would drive himself crazy wondering what it could be. But he was allowed to do that, he had almost no self esteem and was already terrified Frank would come to his senses and leave him as it was. If Frank was hiding something from him Gerard would assume the worst just because he was so afraid of losing Frank as it was, but Frank was perfect... Surely he understood that no matter what Gerard would always want to be with him. Surely he would know that whatever Gerard was hiding had nothing to do with him.

“I don’t believe that.” Frank said delicately, his eyes boring into Gerard’s, making the older man just feel even worse. “I would never hide anything from you Gee.”

“Frankie...” Gerard bowed his head and sighed, guilt twisting inside him. He had already lied to Frank about not being a fan of his; he didn’t want to give him anymore reason to not trust him. “It’s just... It was such a long time ago. We just had a rough relationship, that’s all.”

“Tell me about it?” Frank asked softly, moving to sit closer to Gerard, their sides pressed together so Frank could slide his arm around Gerard’s waist. At first Gerard just avoided his gaze and kept his mouth tight shut, but as Frank slowly ran his fingers up and down on his waist the artist began to relax and he sighed as he stole his courage and began to speak.

“I... We got together in High School...” Gerard swallowed thickly, staring down into his lap, too afraid to look at Frank as he wondered whether he could really say this. Frank shuffled closer to him, pressing tight to his side so that he could share his warmth, gently pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“How long were you together?”

“Three years.” Gerard mewled, biting his lip. “We got together when we were sixteen; we lost our virginity together...” 

“What happened?” Frank asked delicately when Gerard trailed off again, his heart hammering. He wished Gerard would just hurry and spit out whatever it was, the suspense was killing him. “Why did you break up?”

“We...” Gerard bit his lip, groaning a little as he ran his hands through his hair. “I wouldn’t let him be on top.” He whispered ever so quietly, his cheeks flaming red as he hunched over his knees. He wished the ground would open up and swallow him; Frank was going to think he was such an idiot.

For a moment Frank was silent, waiting for Gerard to continue and he blushed when he realised that was it. Bert had left him for that? Frank had to admit he was shocked. Of course he already knew that Gerard was too nervous to try bottoming, but to have a guy leave him for it just seemed harsh.

“He left you for that?” He asked softly, Gerard nodding shamefully. “That’s... God, what an asshole. Gee you deserve so much better than him, don’t even worry about it.” Frank hugged his arms close around Gerard and held him tight, Gerard automatically turning to melt into his arms. 

“I know...” He sighed, feeling a little better as Frank gently rubbed his back. “It was just... it was tough, trying to get over that. We had been through so much together; we were planning to get a place together and everything and then he... It just showed me that no matter how much I think someone might love me they won’t stick around forever if I don’t do... that.” 

“Oh Gee no.” Frank gasped, hugging Gerard tighter and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “That’s not true Gee. It’s not. You’re so wonderful honey, if he left you for something as ridiculous as that then all that proves is that he’s an idiot.” 

“You think so?” Gerard chuckled weakly, trying his hardest to stay composed and not start crying as he clutched Frank’s shirt. He couldn’t believe he was even telling Frank this, but now he had started he found he just couldn’t stop.

“I felt like I was really in love with him Frankie, I thought we would spend our lives together. All he wanted was for me to prove I trusted him... And God, I _wanted_ to let him top me but I just... I just couldn’t. He couldn’t even prep me.” Gerard felt tears start to drip down his cheeks, hot and humiliating as he buried his face into Frank’s neck. The younger man tensed a little before just holding him gently, hushing him ever so quietly as he tugged him back into the centre of the bed. 

“Oh Gee...” Frank sighed; so many things starting to make sense as he cuddled Gerard closed and gently ran his fingers through his hair. “So is that why you just had one night stands? Cos you weren’t over him?” He asked quietly, Gerard sniffling as he awkwardly wiped at his tears and shook his head.

“Not exactly...” He sighed, forcing himself to stop crying. “I had one night stands because then it didn’t matter if I didn’t want to bottom. People don’t question it when it’s just a one off.” He sighed, it not exactly a lie either. It was true that he liked one night stands because then he didn’t have to bottom, but mostly he had one night stands because he had only ever wanted Frankie from the moment he had first seen his videos.

“Oh...” Frank nodded, squeezing Gerard close before letting go just long enough to tug off his shirt and jeans before he moved to burrow under the covers in just his underwear, pulling Gerard with him. “But I’m different...” He noted, Gerard smiling as he nodded and lay his head down on Frank’s chest.

“Yeah... I knew as soon as I saw you I’d want more than just a one night stand with you...” He whispered, Frank smiling as he nodded and gently kissed Gerard’s hair. 

“Why?” He asked curiously, his tattooed fingers drifting over Gerard’s biceps. “What made me so different?”

“I don’t know...” Gerard shrugged, blushing. “I just... knew.”

Frank smiled to himself and the two men fell silent, just holding each other and leaving one another to their own thoughts. Frank was mulling over everything Gerard had told him about Bert. He was sure there was more to the story than Gerard had said, but he didn’t want to push him anymore when he had already pushed him enough. One thing was clear though, Gerard had been in love with him and he had broken his heart. Frank just felt sick at the thought and he knew that if he ever met the bastard he wouldn’t hold back. He was caring for Gerard more and more every day and he wanted revenge on anyone who hurt him.

Gerard though wasn’t thinking about Bert at all anymore. He was thinking about Frank... How lucky he was to have found him. Not only because he was his fanboy and had dreamed of being with him for God only knew how long, but because he had actually managed to open up to him about the one thing he had never been able to tell anyone and it actually felt... good. It was like a great weight had been lifted from his chest, like he was finally actually beginning to let Bert go.

Gerard sighed and smiled, curling up closer to Frank and mewling as the younger man tangled his fingers into his hair and tugged gently. Gerard idly kissed Frank’s chest, stroking his flat stomach with the very tips of his fingers and whispering a soft thank you into his skin. Frank smiled lazily back and shook his head, relaxing beneath the covers with Gerard.

“Mm... Thank _you_ for telling me... I really appreciate Gee.” He whispered honestly, Gerard smiling as he tipped his head up to share a soft kiss before simply cuddling up with his lover and falling slowly into deep, restful sleeps.

xXx

“Excuse me, is Mr Way here?”

“Mm? Mr Way hasn’t arrived yet I’m afraid.” The receptionist looked bored as she continued to stare at her computer screen, tapping something into a search engine. “Do you have an appointment with him?”

“Yes, he said he would meet me this morning.”

“He’s probably stuck in traffic.” The receptionist finally looked up, quirking an eyebrow at the man at the desk. He was about average height, but his sharp suit and long blonde hair slicked back into a neat pony tail made him look a little intimidating. “If you want to just go on up to his office he’ll be here shortly. He works on floor twelve, second door to the left.” 

“Thank you.” The man smiled lazily and made his way to the elevators, not looking back as he stepped inside one and made his way up to the indicated floor.

xXx

“Hey Gee, can I just check my emails on your computer real quick?” Frank smiled as he stepped out the bathroom, his hair still damp and falling into his eyes. Gerard smirked softly for a moment, just taking in the sight of his ridiculously gorgeous boyfriend before he nodded.

“Anything you want Sugar.” He chuckled, Frank smirking back at him and rolling his eyes fondly as he made his way over to the computer and sat down in the leather chair. Gerard thought fleetingly over how many times he had sat in that chair just to jerk off to Frank’s videos but he pushed that out of mind and slid out of bed to grab his own shower. 

“I’ll make some breakfast when I come out.” He promised, stopping to kiss Frank’s cheek before he made his way into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him.

Frank smiled to himself and got busy getting to his email inbox. He liked to check his mail daily, he often had some sort of offer from one porn company or another, and now he was getting more popular he was anxious to see if any of the big dogs tried to hire him.

Frank clicked open the shortcut to the email inbox, going to log Gerard out so that he could sign in when something caught his eye. An unopened email in Gerard’s inbox from a site Frank knew only too well. It was one of the most popular gay porn sites on the net and Frank had had many of his videos shown on there.

Frank blinked stupidly and just stared at the email a moment before slowly glancing over his shoulder to make sure Gerard was still in the bathroom. The subject of the email simply said ‘we’re sorry you’ve cancelled your subscription’ and Frank just had to click on it. He didn’t know Gerard was subscribed to a porn site. He supposed it wasn’t the sort of thing you told people but... Well, surely in all their conversations about porn it could have been mentioned. Plus, Gerard had always given the impression that he didn’t like porn. 

Frank smirked to himself, biting back the urge to giggle. What a sly dog, he knew he must watch porn. What man didn’t? Frank was stunned though that Gerard hadn’t known about him before though if this was his website of choice. Frank wasn’t big headed but he knew he was popular enough to be advertised frequently on this site. Gerard must have seen him. 

Frank leant forward a little as the email opened, adorned with pictures and advertising campaigns. It was obviously just an automatic email that got sent out when you cancelled your subscription but it did hold some interesting information. It became clear Gerard had been subscribed to this site for years, even paying the full amount for a premium membership. It had his account name and password in the email, explaining though he would be no longer subscribed to the site his account would not be completely deactivated for up to two months, giving him plenty of time to change his mind. 

Frank hesitated a moment before snatching a pen and post it note from the pile to the side of the computer. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it, but before he had even really thought about it he was scribbling down Gerard’s account name and password. His hands shook nervously as he put the pen down and folded up the post it note until it was just a tiny square no bigger than his thumb nail. He pushed the paper into his pocket and quickly deleted the email before signing into his own account, his heart hammering.

He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to check Gerard’s porn account. So the guy was into gay porn, that was hardly surprising. And what did he possibly believe he would discover by checking his account? Frank knew he should forget the whole thing but he couldn’t shake off his curiosity. He reasoned that if he lost the post it note or forgot about it then it wouldn’t matter, he may not even bother going on the site even if he did keep the post it. He was just curious, that was all. It was no big deal, and Gerard would never even have to know.

xXx

After spending the morning eating breakfast with Frank, Gerard finally made his way into work only half an hour late. He was trying not to take advantage of the fact that he was now getting away with more things since the launch of The Breakfast Monkey, but he hadn’t wanted to rush his morning with his lover. Especially after having such a tense moment the night before.

No one seemed to notice Gerard was arriving late as he made his up to the twelfth floor and walked quickly and quietly to his office. He considered going to find Brian later to ask how his weekend with Matt had gone, but first he had better get some work done. 

A few people stopped to chat to Gerard as he passed, just asking him how his weekend had been and making general conversation, one woman offering to bring him a coffee and he blushed as he thanked her but declined, picking up his pace to get to his office quicker. People were so nice here, he had never been able to get used to it. He was getting better now though, being with Frank was slowly building up his confidence bit by bit.

“Hey Gerard –” Gerard hesitated just outside his office door, turning to look at the blonde man calling his name. “Brian wanted to talk to you; he said to get you to see him as soon as you arrived.” The man smiled, Gerard nodding with a confused smile.

“Oh... Okay, I’ll just be a minute.” He called back, blushing as he unlocked his office and walked inside. He had no idea why Brian would be so eager to see him, probably to tell him another ridiculous sex story. Gerard chuckled to himself and threw his bag down onto his desk, turning to leave again and feeling his heart lurch when he realised someone was already in here with him.

“Oh! Sorry you startled me.” He chuckled, a hand over his chest where his heart had started to race. He didn’t recognise the man, but he looked quite professional. Gerard panicked as he wondered fleetingly if he had forgotten about a meeting today or something. “Uh... You um... Are you here for uh...”

“I’m here to see you.” The man said delicately, using the flat of his hand to close the office door again and lock it himself. Gerard stared at his hand for a second before looking to his face again, confused. He didn’t know who this guy was but he didn’t like the way he was making him feel. 

“I... I’m sorry, do I know you?” He asked as calmly as he could, backing against his desk and gripping the edges with his hands. He forced himself to remember that he could just shout and everyone outside would hear him and come running. He had no reason to be frightened. 

“Wow...” The man chuckled, slowly making his way towards Gerard. “Has it really been so long that you don’t even recognise me anymore?” He asked softly, his voice almost wounded and Gerard blushed. Now the guy had said that he had to admit he did look a little familiar, but Gerard couldn’t place his face. 

“I... I’m sorry.” He whispered, shaking his head. The man paused in the middle of the room, slowly reaching back to pull the elastic from his hair so that his pony tail fell and allowed his hair to frame his face.

“How about now?” He asked, shaking his head to let his hair fall naturally where it was supposed to be, the dirty blonde locks framing his face. Gerard frowned, it taking him another second before his stomach lurched sickeningly and he stopped breathing for a moment. 

Bert smiled curiously at Gerard, tilting his head to the side. “I remember... My hair was black last time we saw each other wasn’t it?” He smiled softly, apparently oblivious to the wide eyed stare of horror he was receiving from his ex lover.

“B – B – BERT!?” Gerard choked out, his hand once again clutching as his chest. “W – What are you doing here?” He squeaked, his heart racing so fast it was making him breathless. He hadn’t seen Bert for seven years, and he liked it that way. The last time he had seen him he had been a scrawny, grubby teenager with still healing scars on his arms and lank, unwashed hair. Now though he seemed like he had filled out, or maybe that was just the suit he was wearing... his hair was still long but it looked soft and shiny, Gerard almost felt relieved to see he’d been taking care of himself.

“I needed to see you.” Bert said softly, not coming any closer to Gerard when it became clear he was wary of him. “I... I looked for you the other day but you had gone away for the weekend. I had to stay with this guy while I waited for you.” 

“A guy?” Gerard carefully lowered his hand from his chest and stood up straight, staring at Bert with slowly diminishing fear. “What guy?”

“Just some guy I met at a bar. This is his.” Bert pulled open the suit to indicate what he was talking about. Just before he allowed the two sides to come together again Gerard could see how baggy the shirt beneath it was and he realised that he was still as skinny as ever. 

“A guy you met at a bar?” He repeated slowly, his eyes taking in Bert’s appearance more carefully. His watery blue eyes were glazed over, his pupils dilated. Gerard frowned and took a step towards him, Bert watching him carefully. “Do you know who he is?”

“Well... Not really.” Bert shrugged, his breathing picking up as Gerard approached him, his eyes growing wide as he stared at him. “I just needed a place to stay until I could see you. I’m hoping I won’t have to see him again...” He confessed, Gerard starting to feel sick as he stepped up to Bert and gazed intently into his familiar eyes.

“Are you high?” He whispered, Bert blushing and shaking his head frantically. 

“No.” He said gently, but it was obviously a lie. 

“Yes you are. You’ve come into my place of work and you’re high.” Gerard whispered, his voice growing angry and to his surprise tears began to fill Bert’s eyes. “Bert?

“I just had a little... Just... Just a little... I – I’m not high, I just... Just needed it for the confidence.” He whispered, Gerard growing more concerned as he gripped Bert’s shoulders. He could feel that he was incredibly skinny beneath the suit, the clothes were helping to hide how underweight he was but Gerard could feel the sharpness of bone even beneath the fabric.

“A little of what? What did you take Bert?” He asked gently but firmly, Bert swallowing thickly, his eyes darting about to avoid Gerard’s gaze. “Bert?”

“Just some coke Gee, that’s all I swear.” Bert whimpered, the old nickname like a dagger of ice through Gerard’s heart. It took him a moment to wipe the look of shock from his face and compose himself again, his grip on Bert’s shoulders loosening slightly. 

“Okay...” He breathed, taking a step back and running his hand through his hair as Bert looked at him nervously. It was clear that he really had taken just a little, and that it was beginning to wear off already. Gerard couldn’t understand why Bert was here, or why he was back on drugs. He hadn’t seen him in so long, it just didn’t make sense for him to be here right now. 

“Bert.” He said as gently as he could, waiting until the blonde met his eyes. “Why are you here?” 

“I came to see you.” Bert replied automatically, his hands reaching out to grab at Gerard’s, squeezing them tight so he couldn’t pull away. “I need you Gee... I... I need you.” Gerard watched in shock as Bert began to sink to the floor, one arm wrapping around his stomach as if he was in pain, tears dripping down his cheeks. “You’re the only one... Th – The only one...” He gasped, Gerard’s heart missing a beat as fear gripped him. 

“The only one what?” He asked as gently as he could, sinking down to his knees too so that he could cup Bert’s face and make him look at him. He was suddenly terrified for the man before him. There was clearly something not right with him, and it wasn’t just the drugs. “You’ve got to talk to me Bert, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Gerard...” Bert swallowed thickly, his hands clutching weakly at Gerard’s. He was starting to look pale, his hands trembling and Gerard held them tightly to try and stop them. “He’ll kill me Gerard.” He whispered hoarsely, staring at him for another long moment before he slumped unconscious onto the floor.

xXx

Frank sighed and stretched as he flopped down beside Matt on the couch on set for the next porn shoot he would be taking part in. The other actor was late arriving, but neither Frank nor Matt cared. Matt was too busy texting Brian for all he was worth and Frank had some stalking to do.

Sliding to the other end of the couch Frank fished around in his pocket until he found the tiny square of the post it note from that morning. He felt a tinge of guilt as he unfolded it and accessed the correct site on his phone. He knew he probably shouldn’t be doing this, but it wasn’t like he was going to be telling him anything interesting. Besides he was just killing time.

Frank glanced at the post it and then typed in the information from it into the log in boxes at the top of the screen. He clicked enter and waited for his phone to load up the next screen. He wished he had his laptop with him but he wasn’t exactly going to carry that around with him to porn shoots. To his delight though it didn’t take too long before he was logged into the site and able to browse via Gerard’s account. Ignoring all the video’s that had popped up Frank went straight for the ‘my favourites’ tag and waited for that to load.

Frank supposed that deep down he was curious to see if Gerard looked at one specific porn star. He told himself he wasnt the jealous type, and he wanted to believe that if it turned out Gerard’s favourite video’s were all of one or two specific actors he wouldn’t care. But deep down he knew that it would kill him if Gerard was a fan of someone else whilst dating him... Though he had cancelled his subscription so Frank supposed that should be enough to prove that Gerard only wanted him now.

Realising this Frank guessed he should just click away from the site. Ignorance was bliss and clearly Gerard was committing to him right now and – Frank blinked stupidly as he glanced down at his phone to discover the page had loaded. He wondered fleetingly if he had clicked on the right thing, but the ‘my favourites’ headline across the top told him he hadn’t.

Frank felt numb as he scrolled down, staring at video after video of himself. A few pictures were mingled in and even a few articles about himself. Each one had Gerard’s own rating on them, a full five stars. Frank frowned and felt his jaw dropping as he scrolled right to the bottom to find only himself. Not a single different porn star had been included. Gerard’s favourites were all... him.


	15. Chapter fifteen

It had taken four cups of coffee, two ‘great chill out songs’ compilation albums and a hell of a lot of pacing and hair pulling before Gerard managed to feel like he wasn’t about to have a nervous breakdown. He had stopped pacing at last and was now just sat on the couch, hands fisted in his hair and body slumped so that his chest touched his knees. 

Bert was in his bed.

_Bert_ was in his _bed_.

His _ex-boyfriend_ was in his _bed_.

Gerard’s stomach lurched and he had to cover his mouth quickly before he ended up vomiting onto the floor. Seven years... Seven damn years and Bert had to come back _now!?_ It just didn’t make sense... He hadn’t made any attempt to come back into Gerard’s life before and Gerard hadn’t tried to get back into his. In fact he’d done everything he could to try and forget him completely and yet here he was, fast asleep in the bed he had been having sex with Frank in only hours earlier. 

_Frank._

“Fuck...” Gerard breathed, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to stop the dizziness washing over him. What was he going to tell Frank? What was Frank going to say? He had been so understanding the night before about Gerard and Bert’s past, maybe this wouldn’t bother him... but Gerard wasn’t an idiot, it seemed very strange that the day after finally revealing what Bert was to him the guy suddenly showed up out of the blue. Frank was bound to be suspicious and Gerard had no way to explain any of this. He was so confused...

Taking a deep breath Gerard tried to force himself to compose. He and Frank hadn’t made any formal plans to meet yet, so he had a couple days grace before he’d have to consider telling him, and maybe by then whatever was wrong with Bert would be sorted and he’d be out of here. He certainly couldn’t stay with Gerard. They hadn’t seen each other in seven years Gerard wasn’t about to just let him live with him, no matter how briefly. He’d had no choice but to bring him back to his apartment though, Bert had been passed out for about ten minutes and Gerard had been considering calling an ambulance when the younger man had finally managed to stir. He had been obviously disorientated and hazy and Gerard had had no choice but to help him out of the building and into his car.

Gerard sighed and slowly looked up, gazing towards his bedroom door. Bert hadn’t been making much sense on the way back, his eyes struggling to stay open and his words slurred where he was mumbling in the passenger seat. Gerard had seen Bert crash on drugs enough times to know what was happening and he knew his only other option was to take him to a hospital where the drugs would be found in his system and he’d probably have ended up in prison. Gerard would be forced to be involved since he’d be the one to take him there and it would have just caused a whole lot more crap than bringing Bert back here until he was sober again.

It had been about four hours since Gerard had got Bert into his apartment and into bed. He had sat with him for a little while, just trying to soothe him so he would fall asleep. Even on the brink of unconsciousness he had been obviously distressed and had only calmed down when Gerard had gently stroked his hair and whispered to him to just get some rest. As soon as he had fallen asleep Gerard had left, leaving Bert fully clothed in his borrowed suit sleeping on top of the covers.

Gerard sighed and bit anxiously on his thumb nail as he wondered whether Bert was any closer to waking up. It felt like he had been here forever and Gerard just really wanted him to wake up so they could talk and then Bert could leave. He was clutching his cell phone in one hand and had been since he’d got home. He had called in sick at work once he’d got back home and though he knew he had been seen by plenty of people walking out with Bert he hoped no one would flag it up and get him into any trouble. He had been expecting Brian to call but there was no word from him yet... or Frank for that matter, but he was probably busy doing a shoot or something and Gerard just really didn’t want to think about that.

After what felt like eternity the sound of groaning finally drifted from the bedroom and Gerard looked up in alarm. His heart began to race as he realised Bert must be waking up and he slowly rose to his feet. He suddenly wished that Bert was still sleeping; he didn’t feel ready to face him yet...

“G – Gerard?” The voice that drifted from behind the closed door sounded weak and desperate... frightened. Though unmistakeably Bert it didn’t sound anything like the Bert that Gerard remembered and it made him feel even more uneasy. “Gerard!?” 

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Gerard called, rushing across the room when he heard how panicked Bert sounded. He shoved his phone quickly into his pocket and pushed his way into the bedroom, pausing just inside the doorway as he saw the blonde man sat up in the bed. Bert looked at him with wide eyes and for a second he looked as though he was going to dash across the room into Gerard’s arms but he faltered and slowly sank back against the sheets, his face drawn and pale. 

“I... I’m sorry. I was... I just woke up I... I don’t know where I am I –”

“You’re in my apartment.” Gerard spoke softly, cutting across Bert who watched him with wide eyes as he walked across the room to sit on his computer chair. He turned so he was facing Bert again; he felt a lot calmer with the expanse of the room separating them, and the fear clear in Bert’s eyes. Whatever power he used to hold over Gerard it was clear it was no longer existent. 

“Are you sober now?” Gerard asked softly, resting one foot up on his chair, his arms crossed on top of his knee. 

“I uh... Y –Yeah I am...” Bert had the grace to blush and look ashamed of himself, avoiding Gerard’s gaze and instead staring down at his hands. “I’m sorry for just showing up like this, really I... I know you probably don’t want to see me I just didn’t know who else to go to.” 

“Well... Are you going to explain why you’re here?” Gerard asked softly, surprising himself at how composed he felt. He supposed it was the anxious look on Bert’s face that made him feel so calm, now that the cocaine had worn off all confidence Bert had been clinging to had gone and he was like a small child waiting to be scolded. 

“It’s been seven years Bert...”

“I know. I know... Fuck, I’m so sorry I...” Bert trailed off, pulling his knees to his chest and bowing until his forehead laid against them. He ran his fingers through his long hair and pulled gently, groaning in distress. “I didn’t know who else to go to Gee... I’m so sorry.” 

“What’s happened?” Gerard asked softly but firmly, flinching at the old nickname as if he had been slapped round the face. All of his friends called him Gee but Bert was no friend. “Bert tell me what’s going on.” He demanded when Bert didn’t answer.

“I... I...” Bert groaned and began to tremble, Gerard sure he could hear soft sobs coming from him. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Bert cry before. “I’m so sorry...” He rasped, his voice broken and shaking. “I just... I had to get away from him and... And I don’t have any friends, any family... I had to get out of town you were the only person I could think of...” 

“Get away from who?” Gerard asked quietly, keeping his voice gentle as he ignored the small tug in his chest. Seeing Bert so clearly distressed worried him and admittedly he did wonder whether he should go to him and hold him, but he restrained himself. It just wouldn’t be appropriate. He was supposed to hate this man. 

“I... M – My boyfriend...” Bert whispered softly; face still hidden in his knees. Gerard nodded slowly, idly tapping his fingertips beneath his lower lip. 

“Why?”

“He... H – He...” Bert shuddered violently with a harsh intake of breath, shaking his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” His words were suddenly firm, a tinge of panic the only thing that gave away the fact he was still afraid. Gerard scowled and pouted a little, glaring at Bert though the younger man didn’t look up.

“Alright.” Gerard finally sighed, getting to his feet and brushing the creases from his shirt. “In that case you should just leave.” He shrugged, Bert’s head flying up as he stared at him in horror.

“W – What?” He gasped, eyes brimming with tears. “Gee you can’t just kick me out!”

“Actually I can and I am.” Gerard said darkly, his face carefully expressionless. He had never seen Bert like this before and it was unnerving. He didn’t know whether he wanted him to leave or whether he wanted to help him... but he knew that the best option was just to get rid of him. “I haven’t seen you in seven years Bert, I don’t owe you anything. Just go.”

“But I...” Bert looked honestly terrified as he slowly got to his feet, tears starting to drift down his cheeks. Gerard felt a twinge of guilt but he kept his face firm, knowing he couldn’t just give in. “Gerard please...” Bert whispered, though he made no attempt to step closer to his ex boyfriend. “I need you.”

“You don’t need me Bert. You never needed me.” Gerard scoffed, sighing as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and shook his head. He was starting to sound like a bitter ex and that really wasnt the case. He was long over what had happened between the two of them. “Look at you, you’re fine.” 

“I’m not fine Gerard.” Bert said automatically, his voice hollow and his eyes tired. “I’m not fine.” He whispered again, wiping at his tears with the too long sleeves of the borrowed suit. “I need you.”

“If you need me that much then you’d tell me what’s going on.” Gerard responded just as emotionlessly. Deep down he was worried about Bert... This was unlike him, but then Gerard couldn’t possibly know how much he had changed in the last seven years. He couldn’t pretend not to care for him though, he always would... Despite everything. 

“I... Gee I can’t tell you I...” Bert groaned and ran both hands through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut as more tears dripped down his cheeks. “God I just can’t I... I’m trying but I... Fuck I need something. I need... Need something for my fucking _nerves_.” 

“I don’t have any drugs.” Gerard said calmly, knowing all too well that Bert hadn’t been referring to a cup of coffee. “I haven’t touched them since we got clean together.” Gerard didn’t mean to sound accusing but his voice came out like a jab and Bert winced as if he’d been slapped. His eyes turned apologetic as he gazed at Gerard, the watery blue irises glazed with tears.

“Yeah? That’s great Gee... Really great...” He whispered, still tugging a little at his hair. “You know I was doing really well too? I only... Just this past year... I was never gonna go back but I just... Escape ya know?” Bert was starting to grow jittery and Gerard automatically took a step closer, holding his hands up slowly. He knew the way it felt to come down from a high and desperately want it back... but he also knew that Bert could quit this. He had done it before.

“Escape from what?” He asked as gently as he could, Bert eyeing him warily. “You said you had to get away from your boyfriend... Were the drugs an escape from him too?” He asked delicately, trying to put together a picture of what was going on based on the little information Bert had already given him. 

“They... H – He....” Bert’s eyes had grown wide and Gerard noticed he had begun to tremble as he nodded silently. 

“They were..?” Gerard took a tiny step closer to Bert, jumping in surprise when the blonde man stumbled backwards, fear clear on his face. Gerard frowned, stunned at the reaction. What was going on? His heart began to thump faster as he grew more concerned, biting his lip. “Bert... Your boyfriend, why do you need to be away from him?”

“He wasn’t a nice guy.” Bert slowly whispered, his hands visibly trembling and he clasped them together to try and stop them. He wasn’t even sure himself whether it was from anxiety or drugs. “I... He... The drugs I... I didn’t wanna start again I... You have to believe me I tried so hard I did I... He made me Gee. He _made_ me.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay I believe you.” Gerard quickly assured Bert, trying to slowly edge closer but keep Bert talking at the same time. He didn’t know why he needed to get closer, he was running on instinct. Bert was acting like a nervous animal and Gerard just felt the need to soothe him. “Did he hurt you Bert? Is that why you’re here?” He asked gently, Bert nodding absent mindedly. 

“He... He was angry I... It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t. But he... He snapped... Like always... But this time I just... I didn’t know what to do. I just had to get away. Had to come here. I had to come here.” 

“What did he do to you Bert? Did he hit you?” Gerard asked softly, by now only a few feet away from the younger man. “Is that why you had to escape?”

“N – No...” Bert whispered, angling his body slightly away from Gerard as he watched him approach. “He’s hit my plenty of times... This time was worse.” He breathed, making Gerard even more worried. What if Bert had been raped? 

“What did he do Bert?” He asked ever so tenderly; close enough to gently touch his fingers to Bert’s wrist. To his relief the younger man didn’t pull away though he did tense. “Tell me?”

“I... He... Gee please can I just... Just a little something? It helps with the pain.” Bert whimpered, his eyes darting around and Gerard had to cup his face to make him look at him again.

“No. No drugs.” He said firmly, tears dripping down Bert’s cheeks. “What’s hurting? Tell me and I’ll get something else to help the pain.” He promised, Bert gulping as he nodded and slowly moved his shaking hands to pull open the suit jacket and remove it. Gerard lowered his own hands and took a step back to watch him, confused as to what he was doing.

“I... Gee I’m sorry.” Bert whispered, his voice shaking from tears as he tugged the white shirt out from where it was tucked into the baggy trousers. “I’m sorry for coming here... I’m sorry I’m putting this on you I just... I had no one else.” He whimpered, apologising again and again as he untucked the shirt and lifted it up. “So sorry...”

Gerard’s lips were parted in slight confusion as he lowered his gaze to watch the hemline of the shirt moving upwards, revealing more and more of Bert’s pale skin before revealing just above his left hipbone a long, barely scabbed gash that was black from the thickness of the congealing blood. Gerard gasped and stumbled back on instinct, covering his mouth in shock as his heart raced.

“He didn’t mean to he... He was just mad and... It’s only a scratch. He barely even got me he –”

“Is that a fucking knife wound!?” Gerard demanded, interrupting Bert before he could try to make any more excuses for whoever had done this. “Your boyfriend _stabbed_ you!?”

“He didn’t mean to –”

“No! Don’t even start!” Gerard snapped, cutting Bert off again as he strode over to him and took hold of his wrist, pulling him into the bathroom before he could protest. “Bert that thing looks terrible; we need to get you to the hospital so they can stitch it up.” 

“No Gee, please, it’s fine honest.” Bert whimpered as Gerard dragged him into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet seat. “Please Gee if I go to the hospital they’ll start asking questions and I can’t exactly hide this for what it is!”

“You can’t exactly leave it either.” Gerard snapped, turning to grab some bandages from the cupboard along with a clean wash cloth and some antiseptic. “Bert it’s going to get infected if you leave it.”

“No it won’t, it’s fine look – it’s almost scabbed.” Bert looked down at the wound and grimaced slightly. It was days old now but it still bled every morning. He hadn’t had anything to dress it with, the guy he had been staying with whilst he waited for Gee to come back hadn’t exactly been very accommodating, but Bert had had nowhere else to go.

“How long ago was this?” Gerard asked, kneeling down infront of Bert and pouring the antiseptic onto the cloth. Bert swallowed thickly and bit his lip, wincing a little as he shied away from the cloth.

“Only about three days.” He answered, gasping and hissing in pain when Gerard dabbed the cloth over the wound. “Fuck! That hurts!” He cried, Gerard frowning with a sympathetic look though he kept the pressure on the cloth, just dabbing over the wound, not rubbing in case he pulled off the scab that was starting to form.

“Three days? Jesus Bert it should have scabbed by now, we gotta take you to the hospital.” Gerard breathed, dabbing as gently as he could over the wound but Bert shook his head frantically. 

“Gee no! I can’t Gerard, please! If they find out about Jeph they’ll get the police involved and I can’t let that happen, he’d kill me Gerard. Literally!” Gerard glanced up to see tears pouring down Bert’s cheeks again and he relented a little as he sighed.

“Jeph? Is that your boyfriend?” He asked gently, Bert nodding with a sniffle. “Maybe you should call the cops Bert, this guy has stabbed you...” 

“No! Damn it Gerard no!”

“Alright, alright shh!” Gerard hushed Bert quickly before the guy could jump up and leave. It looked like he was contemplating it and Gerard knew he had to tread more delicately. Clearly Bert was terrified this Jeph guy was going to hurt him... He had come to Gerard for help and that much told him that Bert was also hiding from the cops. Because he was in trouble? Or just because he was trying to protect Jeph? Gerard had to find out what was going on exactly but it was going to take time. One thing was clear though, Bert couldn’t leave now. Gerard wouldn’t rest if he did, he’d be worried sick about him. 

“Look... I... I’ll clean it up as best I can okay? But if it’s still not healing in a couple days you have to let me take you to the hospital okay? We can figure out an excuse then.” Gerard looked up at Bert with pleading eyes and for a moment the blonde man just looked amazed, but then he softened and even smiled timidly as he nodded.

“Alright...” He agreed, sighing and clenching his hands on the edge of the toilet seat as Gerard continued to dab over the wound. “Does that mean... Uh... Does that mean I can stay?” He asked quietly, embarrassed to ask, hating to intrude but he really did have nowhere else to go.

“I guess you’re gonna have to.” Gerard sighed, not particularly happy about it but he wasn’t about to kick the guy out onto the street. “I take it this guy you’ve been staying with whilst you waited for me wasn’t exactly great.” 

“Well... Beggars can’t be choosers. I needed a place to stay and had to rely on strangers, of course I ended up with an asshole. But as far as assholes go he wasn’t too bad... at least he didn’t stab me.” Bert tried to sound light hearted but his voice still came out heavy. He couldn’t believe this was happening... Couldn’t believe he had ended up here. Seven years and he was back to being an addict, abused by his boyfriend and sleeping with strangers just to keep a roof over his head only to come crawling back to his ex who had a gorgeous apartment, clearly a good job and not a single craving for any type of drug. Bert had never imagined things would turn out like this.

“Well, you won’t be going back there.” Gerard sighed, unravelling the bandages to fix a cotton pad he had laid over the wound in place. “You can stay here until things are sorted.” Gerard knew he was treading dangerously. God only knew how long Bert would need to stay with him, and Frank wasn’t going to like this one bit. But despite everything Gerard couldn’t just turn Bert away... He needed him.

“Gerard I... God... Thank you I... I don’t know what to say.” Bert was feeling choked up again as Gerard wound the bandages around him and fixed them with some medical tape. He gave a small smile but Bert could see it was forced and his heart ached. He knew he was being a huge burden but he had no other choice, he just hoped he’d be able to move on soon and get of Gerard’s hair.

“Just promise me you’ll sort yourself out.” Gerard sighed, getting to his feet once he’d finished bandaging Bert, putting everything back into the cabinet. “No more drugs okay? And sort yourself out a job and a place of your own, I’ll help you.” 

“I promise.” Bert nodded, gazing at Gerard with puppy dog eyes as he was helped to his feet and led back into the older man’s bedroom. “I mean it Gerard; I’ll be out of here in no time. I really am so grateful.” He mewled, feeling awful still but he couldn’t stop the tiny flicker of relief inside him knowing that he finally had someone willing to help him. Gerard always had been too good to him. 

“It’s fine, don’t mention it.” Gerard sighed, looking at Bert sadly and finally offering a genuine smile. It was weak and uncertain but it was real. “I guess we have a lot of catching up to do.” 

“Oh uh... Yeah I err... Guess we do.” Bert chuckled sheepishly, blushing as he rubbed the back of his neck. As he met Gerard’s eyes he recognised something of the old Gee he had used to know and he grinned a little as Gerard shook his head fondly, offering to give Bert some more comfortable clothes to borrow before he left the room to make them both some lunch.

xXx

Frank had been unable to get Gerard out of his head all day. This in itself wasn’t that much different to usual... What made it different was that this time Frank wasn’t thinking about how much he wanted to kiss him and more... This time he was thinking about how much he wanted to throttle the lying bastard.

Frank had had a gruelling day of one porn shoot after another, and whilst he had laid on his back and moaned for the camera he had constantly thought over the many different conversations he and Gerard had had. He remembered when they had first met, how Gerard had told him he was in Vegas on a bachelor party and that he had no idea there was porn convention on. Maybe that was the truth; Frank had tried to reason with himself, but even if it was Gerard had still lied about not knowing who he was.

He had still told him countless times, over and over again, that he hadn’t known Frank was a porn star until he told him himself. He had still led Frank to believe that he didn’t so much as watch porn, let alone only watch his videos. Frank couldn’t believe he had been so damn stupid, Gerard was just another creepy fan who was desperate to sleep with him. Though Frank had to give him credit, he was the only one who hadn’t made it obvious... but in doing so he had lied.

As soon as Frank had finished his final shoot he had told Matt he was going to see Gerard and had stormed off to his car. His ass felt numb and over used and more than anything he just felt ashamed as he drove to Gerard’s apartment. He hadn’t felt so disgusting after doing a day’s work in a long time and he knew it was because he was already feeling humiliated after finding out the truth about Gerard. He felt like the only reason anyone ever wanted him was just to fuck him... Gerard had been proving that wrong, and now like a slap to the face it turned out Frank had just been deluding himself about that as well.

By the time Frank reached Gerard’s apartment he was ready to tear the roof off he was so angry. His hands were shaking as he pounded on the door, his heart racing. He had a ridiculous lump in his throat that he struggled to force down, not sure why he was feeling so upset. He usually just got angry, but right now he was feeling heartbroken too and he realised with a sickening lurch of the stomach that he had really been falling for Gerard.

Well, that was ruined now.

Frank pounded angrily on the door again when Gerard didn’t instantly come to answer it. He heard movement inside the apartment and he tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the door to open. After barely five seconds he began to knock again, not stopping this time as he clenched his teeth and waited for Gerard to appear.

Inside the apartment Gerard looked warily at the door as he made his way towards it. His heart hammered as he wondered if Bert’s boyfriend had somehow found him and was coming to hurt him again. Bert seemed to have the same idea as he looked in horror at Gerard before tearing into the bedroom and slamming the door behind him to hide. Gerard gave him a few seconds to make sure he had time to get hidden before he swallowed thickly and moved to open the front door.

When he saw it was only Frank he sighed with relief and almost laughed as his relaxed, smiling warmly. “Oh, Frankie it’s you I –” Gerard stopped, his face falling serious again when he saw the anger blazing in Frank’s eyes. “Frankie?”

“You lying son of a bitch.” Frank growled, his voice low and dangerous as he walked into the apartment, Gerard instinctively walking backwards to keep a gap between them. Frank moved to gently click the apartment door shut with his hand, never taking his eyes off his lover. “You fucking lying bastard I should have _known_.” 

“W – What? Frankie what are you talking about?” Gerard whimpered, stumbling back a few more steps before the coffee table blocked his way. He was staring at Frank with wide, frightened eyes as his heart pounded. Had Frank somehow found out about Bert? Gerard didn’t know how, maybe Brian had seen them at work and told him. Maybe Frank thought he was cheating on him. “Please, I can explain –”

“Oh can you?” Frank scoffed, his fists clenched and his jaw tense as he moved slowly closer to Gerard. “Well I’m all ears. I can’t fucking _wait_ to find out what excuse you have.” 

“I... I...” Gerard faltered, not sure what to say. What if Frank didn’t know about Bert and this was something else? Gerard didn’t want to alert the younger man to the fact that Bert was here and so he gave up on trying to explain and snapped his mouth shut. 

“What’s the matter Gerard?” Frank demanded, walking until he was just a couple feet from Gerard, his arms folded tightly across his chest. “Cat got your tongue? That’s so unlike you, you usually have _so_ much to say about my career.” Gerard blinked stupidly at Frank, wondering what the hell he was going on about as he stared at him.

“I uh... I do?” 

“How many times have you filmed it?” Frank demanded, his voice a deadly growl and Gerard blushed as he gawped at him. His heart was starting to feel like it was going to just beat right out of his chest, his stomach churning with worry. He didn’t know what was going on and he really couldn’t deal with anything else today. 

“F – Filmed what?” He asked, confused. This didn’t sound like it was about Bert at all and that just made Gerard even more paranoid. Whatever Frank was angry about Gerard doubted it would be made better if Bert appeared. “I haven’t filmed anything.”

“Oh fuck off.” Frank snapped, one of his arms flying out and his hands began to move around as he spoke. It was a trait Gerard had used to find cute, but in that moment he was just terrified. “Don’t even dare to try and lie to me anymore! I _know_ Gerard, I found your account on that fucking porn site!” Frank suddenly turned away and gripped his hair tightly in both hands, crying out in his anger. “I’m such a fucking _idiot!_ I should have known you were too good to be true, turns out you’re just another fucking pervert trying to make some money.” 

“What?” Gerard breathed, his heart dropping. His porn account? But he had cancelled the subscription weeks ago. He’d deleted his internet history. He had done everything he could to make sure Frank would never find out that he was a fan of his. “I... H – How?” 

“So you don’t deny it?” Frank demanded, whirling round to face Gerard again. “You really did know me all along.” 

“I... I...” Gerard hesitated, his face pale and his eyes wide. If Frank really had found his account there was no use in trying to lie about it. He would just need to try and calm Frank down somehow and assure him he didn’t watch his videos anymore. “Well I... I did but I –”

“I knew it!” Frank snapped, his eyes suddenly growing teary though they still blazed with rage. “You weren’t in Vegas with your friends at all were you?” He breathed, his voice broken and hurt. Gerard winced and blushed, bowing his head shamefully. 

“I... No, I wasn’t.” He whispered honestly, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t even have any friends... Other than Brian and Mikey.” He admitted quietly, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. “I went to see you but I didn’t expect to see you outside or anything.”

“Right, and the date, that wasn’t planned either right?” Frank scoffed, it clear from his tone he already believed Gerard had planned everything. The artist lifted his head to stare at him in surprise, frowning a little in confusion.

“Of course it wasn’t. You asked me remember?” He said gently, Frank looking as if he actually wanted to hit him at that.

“Because you made me think you didn’t have a clue who I was! You told me you didn’t know I was a porn star, you fucking stood outside and had a cigarette with me playing all dumb and innocent and now it turns out you knew all along – Don’t you dare try and tell me you didn’t have some fucking game plan!” Frank all but shouted, his tears starting to actually drip down his cheeks and Gerard just stared at him, stunned.

“I... Frankie I’m sorry.” He finally whispered, trying to step closer to Frank but the younger jumped back with a snarl. “Frank... I... I don’t know what it is you think I was trying to do. I didn’t tell you I knew you because I...” Gerard blushed, not sure what to say. Why hadn’t he told Frank? Because he’d overheard a conversation about him never wanting to sleep with any of his fans? Gerard doubted that would go down well... 

“I panicked.” He finally concluded, gazing at Frank with wide, genuine eyes. “Look, I’ll admit it, I was a huge fan of yours. When you suddenly appeared right infront of me, lighting my fucking cigarette I just... I panicked okay? I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to come across as just another creepy fan I wanted to talk to you, like... Just like normal people. So I lied, yes I admit it. I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t some well thought out plan – it’s been killing me all this time knowing I’ve been lying to you but I just... It’s just not a big deal Frank, I don’t watch your videos anymore, I swear.”

Frank stared at Gerard for a long moment, trying to work out whether he was being honest or not. It sounded plausible, but then Gerard could easily just be lying again. The fact was Frank had got his heart into this now and that was dangerous, he never got his heart into anything. 

“I...” He hesitated, not sure what to believe. “Have you been filming us?” He finally asked, Gerard looking genuinely confused.

“Filming us?” 

“Yeah... Whilst we have sex.” Frank said softly, as if it should have been obvious. The blush that coated Gerard’s cheeks was fierce and familiar and Frank felt himself relax slightly. 

“W – What!? NO! Of course not I – Jesus Frankie, fuck, of course I haven’t why would I – Are you crazy!?” Frank almost giggled at the way Gerard stuttered and tripped over his words, clearly horrified at the very idea. “Frank I swear I haven’t been filming us, Jesus Christ why would I _want_ to I’m an idiot in bed.” Frank couldn’t help but laugh then, blushing a little himself as he realised he’d been an idiot. Of course Gerard wasn’t just another scum bag trying to get money out of him, a fan he may be but he was genuine.

“Okay okay, I’m sorry.” Frank giggled, sighing and smiling timidly at Gerard. “I guess I just freaked out, I shouldn’t have I’m –” Frank suddenly fell silent, something catching his eye and he turned to look towards the bedroom where someone was peeking out from behind the door. “Oh, God, I’m sorry you... You didn’t say you had a guest round.” Frank breathed, turning to fully face the person watching them. 

As Bert slowly sidled into view Gerard felt his blood run cold. Frank was smiling gently at Bert, his eyes curious and Gerard had to force himself not to panic like an idiot and lunge at Bert to shove him back into his bedroom. 

“Who’s this?” Frank asked softly, looking at Gerard with still sparkling eyes. His voice was calm but Gerard could hear an undercurrent of worry and he knew Frank was wondering why a strange man had been hiding in Gerard’s bedroom. Especially after Gerard had only been saying moments before how his only friends were Brian and Mikey. 

“I... My names Bert...” Bert answered quietly when Gerard didn’t say anything. Frank turned his head sharply to stare at Bert again, his eyes wide. Bert gazed timidly back, hunched over slightly with his arms wrapped around his stomach. He looked frail and frightened and nothing like the man Gerard had described to Frank just the night before.

“B – Bert...” He whispered, understanding dawning on him as he turned to stare at Gerard again. Gerard’s heart missed a beat when he saw tears were rolling down Frank’s cheeks again, his eyes swirling with pain and anger. “That’s Bert? That’s the guy who supposedly made your life hell?” Frank spat, Gerard blushing deeply.

“Frankie please, don’t jump to conclusions let me explain I –”

“No! NO! FUCK!” Frank turned away and ran his hands forcefully through his hair, staring at Bert’s worried face again before he growled and started to storm towards the door. “You’re a fucking liar, I knew it! So come on, what’s the truth? Were you and Bert ever even broken up? Have you been with him all along?” Frank demanded as he grabbed the door handle and turned to scowl at Gerard. “You fucking disgusting asshole, you’ve probably just been using us both.” He snapped, tears falling thick and fast and making his voice sound strange.

“What? No Frankie please, I haven’t been using anyone. Please you have to let me explain it’s not what you think!” Gerard wasn’t entirely sure what it was Frank was thinking, but he knew it wasn’t the truth. 

“Oh shut up Gerard!” Frank snapped, stamping his foot childishly as Bert gazed with wide eyes between him and Gerard, but Frank only had eyes for the artist. “You think I haven’t been with guys like you before? Trust me Gerard, you are not the first bastard to end up being some pervert getting videos of me to earn a bit of extra cash. Well fucking good for you, you’re a better actor than any of the others I’ll give you that. The fucking scared of bottoming thing? Genius.” Frank snapped, his voice like acid as he yanked the door open and stepped out of the apartment. “Thanks for nothing, dick.” He growled as he began to storm down the corridor, Gerard racing after him.

“Frankie wait! Please, Frank you’ve got it wrong, it isn’t like that! Bert just came back today, I swear to you I had no idea he was – Frankie please!” Gerard’s voice was starting to sound something like a ridiculous scream and he was forced to drop to his knees outside on to the street when Frank got into his car and sped off down the road without so much as a backwards glance at him. 

“FRANKIE!” Gerard shouted, feeling everything inside him tear into pieces knowing that he had just lost the only man he had ever really wanted. He felt like he was going to be sick and he just stayed slumped over his knees on the street before a gentle hand to his shoulder made him look up.

“Gee?” Bert’s voice was worried and shaky and Gerard sighed as he squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment, just trying to compose. He couldn’t snap at Bert, not right now, so he forced himself to get to his feet and wipe the tears off his cheeks. “Gee I... Was that my fault?”

“No... Not it wasn’t your fault.”Gerard sighed, touching Bert’s hand and leading him back into his apartment with a lump thickening in his throat. “It was mine.”


	16. Chapter sixteen

Gerard didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. 

The days were drifting by in a slow, numb haze, everything tainted by the knowledge that Frank had gone and wasn’t coming back. Gerard was trying not to let it affect him, he was trying to pretend it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t like he and Frank had ever said they loved each other or anything... but he really had cared for him, and he wanted him back.

After Frank had stormed out and Bert had followed Gerard back into the apartment the artist had spent hours trying to call Frank, leaving him message after message begging him to let him explain. When that had failed he had tried Matt instead, but he ignored his calls too and Gerard was left feeling even more heart broken. 

Gerard was trying to remain strong and forget about Frank for now. Bert needed his help and he was spending all of his spare time and energy on trying to find out exactly what problems Bert was in and how they could solve them. So far he had managed to get a little more information out of him about his boyfriend and it was fairly obvious the guy was abusive, but that was the most he could ascertain. Bert wasn’t opening up to him and Gerard knew it was going to take a long time to make him trust him enough to really talk to him. It was frustrating, especially when Bert had come to him specifically for help and was now closing up on him.

Gerard sighed and slid his head down to rest in his palm, his elbows resting on the desk top. He was sat in his office, trying to forget his problems long enough to get some work done but he just couldn’t bring himself to do anything. Drawing was the one thing he had always been able to count on to make him feel better, but now it just wasn’t helping at all. No matter what he did, every line, every shade, it all became Frank. He was growing sick of it.

Gerard hadn’t bothered to leave his office at all whilst at work the past few days. He didn’t feel like eating and he couldn’t even summon the energy to go for a cigarette. It was a miracle he even made it into work at all... All he wanted to do was lye in his bed and wallow in self pity, but he couldn’t do that even when he finished work thanks to Bert living with him. He couldn’t let the younger man see how upset he was, it would only make things worse. Bert was already blaming himself for what happened even though Gerard had explained why Frank was mad, and it wasn’t helping the blonde man’s self esteem one bit.

Gerard groaned and slumped until his head was resting on the desk. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to dispel the queasy feeling in his stomach. He just wanted Frank back... He just wanted to explain...

“Gerard?” Gerard glanced up through his eyelashes to see that the door to his office had been pushed open, Brian gazing at him from round the side of the door. He was looking anxious, biting on his lip and shuffling his feet as he gazed in on the artist. “Can I come in?”

“Mm...” Gerard shrugged and tipped his head a little, neither giving nor denying Brian entry so the younger man took it as an invitation and stepped into the office anyway. He closed the door gently behind himself and sighed as he leant against it, folding his arms across his chest and resting one foot against the door. For a long while he just stared at Gerard and didn’t say anything and Gerard just couldn’t bring himself to sit up properly.

“Are you okay?” Brian finally asked, Gerard sighing as he shook his head slowly. “I heard about your break up... I’m sorry man.” Gerard blushed deeply and winced as he felt tears prickling hotly in his eyes. Technically neither he nor Frank had _said_ they weren’t together anymore, though of course Gerard had assumed that must be the case. Hearing Brian confirm it just made him feel a million times worse. 

“Look,” Brian sighed when Gerard made no sign he had even heard him. “Frank’s been really cut up, Matt’s been going out of his mind trying to cheer him up. I think you guys need to talk.” Brian walked across the room to sit on the edge of the desk, gently stroking his fingers through Gerard’s hair and biting his lip when Gerard scowled.

“Me and Matt?”

“No... You and Frank.” Brian sighed, working his fingers ever so gently through Gerard’s soft hair, trying to soothe him. To his surprise Gerard actually began to relax, but then with a jolt Brian realised that his shoulders were shaking... tiny sobs escaping his lips as he began to cry. “Gee?”

“H – H – He won’t talk to me B – Bri I’ve _tried_.” 

“Oh Gerard...” Brian sighed, sliding off the desk to crouch awkwardly beside Gerard’s chair instead, wrapping his arms around him in an attempt to hug him. “When was the last time you tried calling him? Maybe he’d answer now... ya know, now he’s had time to calm down maybe?”

“I d – doubt it...” Gerard sniffled, gulping and coughing as he tried to stem his sobs. He didn’t want to cry, especially infront of Brian, it just made him feel even more stupid and embarrassed. He didn’t deserve any sympathy, he was the one who had been lying to Frank the whole time. Even if Frank did find out the truth he probably wouldn’t get back with him thanks to the fact Gerard had always been a fan of his.

“Come on Gee...” Brian mewled, rubbing Gerard’s back gently, looking up at him and trying to see his face through the curtain of his hair. “Look... You’re both really upset, clearly you don’t want to be apart.” He pointed out as delicately as he could, tears dripping off Gerard’s jaw to leave tiny wet patches on his jeans.

“H – How would y – you know he’s u – upset?” Gerard scoffed, wiping his eyes roughly with his sleeve. “Have you s – seen him?”

“I already told you, Matt’s been talking to him. I mean shit Gee, he’s the guys agent he sees him every day.” Brian pointed out gently, tutting as he leant up to wipe Gerard’s tears away himself when he saw how roughly Gerard was doing it. “Look... To be honest, Frank hasn’t said much. He just said you’re a liar or something, but he’s obviously upset and I don’t know or care what it is you argued over you need to sort it out.” 

“But Bri –”

“No. No buts.” Brian cut across Gerard before could speak, smiling hopefully at him as he cupped his face and used the pads of his thumbs to wipe at his tears. “Matt seems to think that Frank has always been a little bit volatile... Apparently he’s a total drama queen but Matt’s genuinely worried about him this time. I don’t know a lot about the guy but I can tell he loves you, he’d be an idiot not to. You guys need to talk okay?” 

Gerard looked at Brian sceptically, his tears finally coming to a halt. He quirked an eyebrow at the younger man and sighed, resisting the urge not to just tell him he was an idiot and push him out of his office so he could go back to moping alone. He wanted to talk to Frank... Of course he did. But he had been trying desperately to make him hear him out and Frank was just ignoring him. Hell, even Matt had been ignoring him. Why would it be any different now?

“I want to talk to him Bri...” He finally sighed, leaning back in his chair as Brian rose to his feet to perch on the edge of the desk again. “But I’ve been texting and calling him since the second he left, he just doesn’t reply. I even tried calling Matt to see if he could help me but he’s been ignoring me too.” Gerard didn’t mean for his voice to come out as accusing as it sounded, but Brian didn’t look offended. In fact, he looked a little ashamed.

“Well yeah he... Well, as soon as he found out you guys had had a fight he was on Frank’s side from the start.” He confessed, grabbing Gerard’s hand and quickly continuing before Gerard could get upset. “But only because him and Frank are such good friends. He’s been ignoring your calls just until he could get Frank’s side of the story... But like I say, Frank hasn’t been saying much and we can’t make much sense out of him. But I told Matt he must have it wrong, I told him you’re a great guy. I just know that whatever happened you wouldn’t have meant for it to turn out like this.”

“No I didn’t.” Gerard agreed quietly, sighing as he tugged his hand out of Brian’s and ran it through his hair. He felt exhausted all of a sudden, like he could nothing now but sleep for a thousand years. He wished he could just go to bed and then wake up to find it was all a horrible nightmare... That Bert had never come back and Frank had never left... 

“I really care about him Bri...” He mewled, staring down at the desk. “I can’t think straight anymore... I just keep thinking about what we both said and wishing I could change it. I’ve tried so hard to make him give me a chance to explain but I just can’t get through to him.” 

“Well I can help you Gee.” Brian said gently, offering a small smile as he squeezed Gerard’s hand. “Matt and I both agree you guys need to talk. Matt thinks he’ll be able to convince Frank to let you at least call him.” 

Gerard was silent for a long moment, letting that sink in. He had been relying on Matt to help him, and had given up all hope when Brian’s lover had ignored him too. But if he was willing to help then maybe Gerard really did have a chance. 

“I... You’d help me?” He finally whispered, his eyes sparkling with hope as he looked up at Brian. “Oh God... Brian if I could just talk to him I’m sure I could make him understand this is all just a huge mistake.” He breathed, jumping to his feet and seizing both of Brian’s hands in his. “You have to get him to talk to me! Please Bri...”

“I’ll try.” Brian promised, smiling softly as he slid off the desk so he could stand up too, pulling Gerard into a quick hug. “I can’t promise he’ll listen to us, but I have every faith in Matt. You should start thinking about what you’ll say; if you get this chance you can’t fuck it up.” He pointed out gently, leaning back to look at Gerard with warm eyes. “Your best chance is to be calm and composed if and when you manage to talk to him. No more beating yourself up okay?” Brian chuckled gently as he stroked a thumb across Gerard’s still damp cheek, causing him to blush.

“I promise...” Gerard whispered, even offering a soft smile. Brian was right, all this wallowing in self pity wasn’t helping anyone, and if he managed to get a chance to talk to Frank he’d need to be confident in what he was going to say. No doubt Frank would still be mad at him and unwilling to listen, so Gerard would need to be prepared to persuade him he was telling the truth. Losing it and breaking down in tears wasn’t going to help anything.

xXx

“Alright, let me take a look.” Gerard leant forward on the couch, resting his arms on his knees as Bert approached him and lifted his shirt. Gerard gently unravelled the bandages around his stomach and let them drop so he could take a look at the knife wound. 

“It’s the first time there’s been no blood on the bandages...” Bert pointed out quietly as he looked at the fabric dropped to the floor, Gerard ‘hmm’ing as he nodded. 

Now that Bert had had someone to take care of him and clean his wound and dress it every day it was starting to heal nicely. He was right, it wasn’t bleeding anymore, and the scab still held even when Gerard began to gently run his fingers around it and prod a little at the skin surrounding it. He smiled up at Bert and nodded for him to put his shirt back on.

“I think it’s gonna be okay. You should be able to get away with not wearing the bandages now as long as you’re careful not to knock the scab off.” He said gently, Bert grinning as he pulled his shirt over his head. 

“Awesome, thanks Gee.” He beamed, flopping down onto the couch beside the artist and smiling softly at him. “Dinner should only be a little bit longer.” He added quietly, his face hopeful for approval as Gerard nodded and forced a smile.

“Sounds great.”

In the few days that Bert had been staying with Gerard the blonde man had been eager to not overstay his welcome and work hard to be useful. He had cooked every night and had breakfast ready before Gerard had to leave for work in the morning. He had cleaned the whole apartment and had even offered to do the washing and ironing, but Gerard had insisted that he really didn’t need to do that... He didn’t need to do anything.

Gerard didn’t like feeling like Bert was becoming a house husband. He knew he was just feeling anxious that he wasn’t wanted around and so was making up for it by doing chores but Gerard really wished he wouldn’t. It felt strange and awkward and almost like he was using Bert. He was prepared to help him, despite everything that had happened in their past he wasn’t going to turn him away when he so obviously needed help. He just wanted to find out exactly what he needed to do to make things better for him and then he could get on his way.

“Bert listen...” Gerard sighed, turning to face the younger man properly. “I need to know why your boyfriend stabbed you.” Instantly Bert’s face went pale, his eyes growing wide and he began to shake his head frantically. Gerard reached out to touch his hand, hoping to help him relax. 

“Hey, shh... I know you don’t want to talk about it, and I know you keep saying he didn’t mean to hurt you but Bert I _need_ to know what’s been going on with you if I’m going to be able to help you.”

“It’s okay; you don’t have to do anything.” Bert whispered quickly, the same thing he had been saying every time Gerard tried to ask him about this. “I just need a job and a place of my own – I’m working on it Gee, really I am. I’ve been looking for jobs all around and as soon as I get one I promise I’ll go.”

“Bert...” Gerard sighed, shifting closer to him and squeezing his hands gently. “Look, I’m not trying to tell you that you need to leave soon or something. I just... Look, if you didn’t need my help you wouldn’t have gone through all the trouble of finding me. You can’t have just needed me for a place to stay...” He pointed out softly, Bert’s cheeks flaming red and he bowed his head as he bit his lip. “Talk to me man...”

“I... Gee please, I don’t want to talk about it...” Bert whispered, tugging his hands out of Gerard’s and angling his body away slightly, though not entirely. He didn’t want to be rude; he just wanted Gerard to drop the subject.

“I know you don’t and Bert I really wouldn’t ask but... Well, shit Bert, you can’t expect to show up after seven years and not tell me why. Especially after the way you left me. I’ve been through _hell_ because of you.” Gerard blushed a little himself, hating to bring this up, but now he had started he just couldn’t stop. Bert had to know the truth...

“You left me Bert... You _left_ me, all because I couldn’t fucking bottom for you. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? How cut up I was? I almost became a fucking alcoholic again; I had to get therapy because of you.” Gerard could feel tears building in his eyes, Bert gazing at him from under his eyelashes, his body tense and his face ashamed. 

“I’ve spent the last seven years too afraid to get into relationships because I thought I would never be good enough... and now the one guy I finally trusted enough to try and make a relationship with has left me because _you_ showed up on my damn doorstep again. I think I’ve been more than kind to you considering and the least you can do is _talk to me_.”

Gerard fell silent and wiped awkwardly at his eyes, trying to stop his tears before they could fall. His voice had grown harsh and full of hurt and he knew he wasn’t helping one bit by saying all this. It was all past history, but he just couldn’t stop the words from slipping past his lips. He had been dying to say it to Bert since the moment he had left but now he finally had he realised it just made him feel worse.

“I... God, Bert I’m sorry I –”

“Don’t.” Bert whispered, cutting across Gerard. He was no longer looking at him, his eyes directed at the floor. “Don’t apologise...” Bert didn’t move, sitting tense and still for a long moment. Gerard gazed at him through glistening eyes, too afraid to move or even speak himself. He wasn’t sure what Bert was thinking, but it felt like the silence stretched on forever.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Bert’s words came out hollow and emotionless and Gerard couldn’t stop the scoff that escaped his throat. Bert instantly snapped his head to the side to look at him, his eyes hurt. 

“It’s true.” He insisted, some feeling finally entering his voice. “I never meant to cause you so much shit. Fuck Gerard, we were young man. We were barely even twenty and I was hot headed and stupid. It was immature of me to leave you for that, I know that now, but if I had known it was going to affect you so much I would have stuck around.”

“Don’t say that.” Gerard sighed, running a hand through his hair and squeezing his eyes shut. “I would never have wanted you to stick around just because you pitied me. Fuck, I didn’t want you to stick around at all when I realised I wasn’t good enough for you –”

“Gerard stop it!” Bert suddenly snapped, Gerard raising his eyebrows in surprise. “Okay, stop with the fucking self pity crap. If you had therapy shouldn’t they have gotten that out of you? I was the guy shallow enough to leave you for why I did and you think _you’re_ the one not good enough? Are you fucking delusional?”

For a moment Gerard was stunned, the hardness of Bert’s eyes and the rough tone to his voice suddenly very familiar. This was more like the Bert he had known. Not the timid, wounded man who had shown up high in his office, but the brash, cock sure boy he had used to date. Gerard didn’t know whether he wanted to feel angry or frightened, his stomach swirling and his body tense. 

“Why are we talking about this?” He finally whispered, running his hand through his hair again, a nervous tick of his. “It was a long time ago... I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yes you do.” Bert scoffed, sighing and forcing himself to relax. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have brought it up.” He said, gently this time, gazing at Gerard with apologetic eyes. There was a long silence for a moment, both men just gazing at each other. 

“Look I... If it would help, I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

Gerard blinked in surprise, not entirely sure how Bert came to that conclusion but he guessed he was just anxious to make things okay between them again and Gerard wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to finally find out everything about him and his boyfriend.

“Alright...” He said gently, nodding his head. “Tell me what happened between you and Jeph... Why did he stab you and why did you decide to come to me?” 

Bert sighed and bit his lip, running a hand through his hair before laying his chin down on his knuckles, considering for a moment. He tried to force away his nerves and decide where to start. It was such a long story it seemed... and he was exhausted just thinking about it. But he knew deep down he would have to tell Gerard sooner or later... had always known he would have to. Gerard was right, he couldn’t just show up in his office asking for help and not expect to tell him everything. 

“Let me sort out our dinner first.” He finally sighed, getting up to head into the kitchen and fill some bowls with the pasta he had cooked, needing just a few minutes to brace himself before he told all.

xXx

Frank sighed as he stepped out of the shower and worked a towel over his hair. He was feeling exhausted and lower than ever, his body aching from the ridiculous positions he had had to be fucked in for the video he had just finished. The camera crew were just finishing packing away and Frank’s co-star had already disappeared to go to another shoot, but Frank was blessedly done for the day. 

There wasn’t always a shower available on set, and Frank was relieved there had been one here. If he hadn’t been able to shower straight after he would have just felt even more disgusting. He hadn’t felt tainted after doing video’s since he had first started in the business; but since arguing with Gee he just hadn’t been himself. He felt constantly sick and was desperate for a day off. He didn’t even enjoy his photo shoots anymore, he just didn’t feel... sexy.

“You alright man?” Matt asked gently as Frank sighed and flopped down onto a chair, sliding his pile of clothes over using his feet though he made no attempt to get dressed. He dropped the towel from his hair down to rest over his shoulders, the towel round his waist tiny and barely resting down his thighs. 

“Mmm...” Was his only response to Matt’s question, his eyes focused blankly on the wall opposite them, his face expressionless. Matt sighed and sat down beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder and squeezing softly. Frank made no sign he could even feel him.

“Look... Frankie, I really think you need to talk to Gerard...” Matt said ever so softly, Frank wincing for a moment before his face went blank again.

“No.” He said simply, picking at a thread on the towel round his waist. 

“Frank...”

“No.” 

“Frank please.” Matt groaned, gazing at Frank with worried eyes, wishing the younger man would meet his gaze. “Brian talked to Gerard today and I really think that you guys need to talk. Apparently Gerard’s been really depressed the last few days, and I don’t need to be a psychologist to tell you have been too.” 

“I don’t care if he’s depressed.” Frank said softly, eyes still fixed infront. “He shouldn’t have lied to me. He’s just another creepy fan, like every other guy I’ve ever cared about.” Deep down Frank wasn’t sure he believed that, but what other explanation was there? Still, this was the first time Matt had tried to convince him he should give his ex a chance, usually Matt would scoff and offer to beat the guy up. 

“I don’t believe that Frank.” Matt said softly, rolling his eyes and cupping Frank’s jaw to turn his face to look at him. “I don’t think you do either. Look at you Frank, you’re nothing like yourself. You miss him, and don’t even try to tell me that you don’t. What harm can there be in hearing him out?”

“I don’t want to hear him out. I don’t want anything more to do with him. He _lied_ to me Matt, you have no idea how much...” Frank tugged out of Matt’s grip, tears welling up in his eyes and for a moment he was just as shocked as Matt to have them there. It was the first real emotion he had shown in days and he felt his chest tightening as he wiped slowly at his eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about him anymore okay...”

“Frankie...” Matt mewled, reaching out for Franks hand but the younger man jumped to his feet and began to get dressed before Matt could touch him. He sniffed hard and tried to swallow down the lump in his throat, yanking on his clothes as quickly as he could. 

“Frank please,” Matt sighed, getting to his own feet. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but you can’t tell me that it’s impossible you might have got the wrong end of the stick. Just talk to him, if nothing else then just on the phone, and if you don’t like what he’s saying then just hang up and I’ll never ask you to speak to him again.”

“You shouldn’t be asking me to speak to him at all!” Frank snapped, his tone suddenly angry and he whirled round to face Matt as he finished yanking on his t-shirt and scowled at the older man. “Look, I don’t know what he said to Brian, and I couldn’t really giving a flying fuck either. I don’t want to speak to him, and nothing you, or anyone else says is going to change my mind on that. Now just leave me the fuck alone!” 

Frank span on his heel, threw down his towels and stormed out of the building without another word. Matt groaned and called for him to come back, but of course he ignored him, and the older man was left to sigh and run a hand through his Mohawk as he bit his lip. He knew that when Frank got stubborn like this no one could change his mind, and his stomach swirled at the thought of having to let Brian down and tell him he hadn’t been able to get Frank to agree to talk to Gee.

Outside the building Frank had finally broke down into tears, his hands shaking as he grabbed a cigarette from the packet in his pocket and struggled to light it up. He cursed and swore until his lighter finally sparked and he inhaled a lungful of smoke gratefully, striding to his car as quickly as he could. He just wanted to get home... He wanted to curl up and bed and hide there until he grew old and died.

xXx

Bert took a deep breath and sighed, idly stirring the pasta in his bowl as Gerard gazed at him. Both men were simply picking at their food, Gerard forcing himself to eat a few bites just out of politeness though neither man had much of an appetite. Bert was finally about to start explaining and both men were nervous.

“Okay so uh... Well I guess I’ll just start when I first met Jeph...” Bert mumbled uncertainly, Gerard nodding at him with a soft smile, encouraging him to continue. Bert met his gaze for a moment, his hesitancy clear but he forced himself to summon up his courage and to find his voice. 

“Well...” He began. “I met him about three years ago... Just in a bar ya know? He bought me a drink and we got chatting, and it just kinda went from there, I won’t bore you with the details.” Bert gazed into his bowl and pushed some of the pasta around, his heart hammering as he got lost in his reminiscing. “It only took us a couple weeks before we officially started dating... and then only a couple months after that until we moved in together. It didn’t feel fast at the time, we just really hit it off and I kinda felt convinced he was the perfect guy for me.” Bert blushed deeply and glanced at Gerard almost as if he was afraid he had offended him, but Gerard’s face was calm and he smiled comfortingly at Bert.

“So what happened?” He asked gently, eating some pasta in the hopes it would tempt Bert to eat too and he relaxed when the blonde actually did attempt a mouthful. Bert considered Gerard’s question as he chewed, trying to remember when everything had turned sour but it was hard to pinpoint an exact moment.

“I... I don’t really know when I realised things weren’t perfect.” He confessed quietly, avoiding Gerard’s gaze again. “All I know is that after a while things weren’t great anymore... in fact they weren’t even good anymore... Jeph was always part of a bad crowd I guess, I knew from day one he was in a gang of sorts...” Bert’s blush intensified as he realised how moronic that sounded. As if Jeph had been part of some group of teenagers who roamed the streets.

“He was pretty much the leader I think. I don’t know exactly what they used to get up to, but he would be gone sometimes for days at a time and there were tonnes of times when I had to leave the apartment and meet him in a motel somewhere cos’ he was hiding from the police. We got really good at laying low.” Bert’s voice had grown softer, almost trancelike and it was clear he was on a roll. 

“I never liked it but I didn’t care too much... I was just happy to be with him and I would have done anything for him... Deep down I knew he wasn’t a good guy though. Sometimes I’d find blood on his clothes he’d thrown in the wash, or drugs in his pockets. I don’t think he took them, probably just sold them, we always had plenty of money and he didn’t have a job... I tried questioning him on it a few times but he used to get mad at me, and then... Well, one day he brought his friends over – his gang friends – and they were... they were so cruel...” Bert’s face wrinkled up as if in disgust, but there were tears in his eyes and Gerard felt his heart miss a beat as his voice cracked slightly.

“Jeph made me wait on them like a servant... Whatever they wanted, I did it. And all the time they laughed in my face and called me names. It’s stupid really, it’s not like we’re in high school I shouldn’t have got offended but I did and so...” Bert hesitated, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I called Jeph into the bedroom and demanded that he throw them all out, and he got angry at me, said I was stepping out of line... that was the first time he hit me... After that he did it all the time. It was like the floodgates opened, he was always making fun of me, always putting me down... I just felt so worthless, I couldn’t do anything right and there was always one thing or another that meant he had to ‘put me in my place’. I got so fucking sick of him hitting me all the time, that’s when I turned to drugs again.”

“Why didn’t you just leave him?” Gerard asked softly when Bert stopped talking to eat some more of his pasta, just trying to give himself time to think. He sighed at the question, shaking his head and chewing slowly. 

“It’s not that simple.” He finally whispered, stirring his food idly. “I wasn’t happy... but I loved him so much. I still do...” Bert blushed at the admission and carried on quickly before Gerard could say anything. “I guess you can never fully understand it until you’re in that position, but I just believed that I deserved everything I got. Deep down I knew I was lying to myself, I knew I needed to leave him but I just couldn’t... He made me feel worthless but I needed him. He was all I knew... We’d been together two years at that point, and the drugs made everything so numb, I thought I was handling it...”

“So what made him stab you?” Gerard asked softly, feeling sick to hear all this and he just wanted the story to end. He knew about abusive relationships just like everyone else did, but hearing Bert saying all this, to see the pain on his face and imagine how much he had been through... it really hit him then how terrible domestic violence was. He thought back to when he had dated Bert, and he couldn’t imagine anyone being able to treat him like Jeph had. He couldn’t imagine Bert being so... vulnerable.

“We had a fight... the worst fight we’d ever had.” Bert sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as he forced himself to remain calm. “It was about the drugs I think... I don’t remember it that much, the fight wasn’t important. He beat me until I couldn’t move and then stormed out, said he needed to clear his head. I lay in our room for three days waiting for him to get home but he never showed up... In the end once I’d managed to clean myself up and get some food in me I went looking for him. I was... worried. I thought he’d done something stupid.” Bert’s voice was wavering again, the lump thick in his throat making his words sound strange in his ears. 

“I found him after only a couple hours... It was an accident really. I was getting anxious, felt like I needed something to make the search easier. I went to this warehouse you’re always guaranteed to find a dealer in. I got some stuff off a guy and then found Jeph when I was leaving, he was outside, just selling stuff. But the guy who was buying from him didn’t have any money, so he was sucking his dick instead.” 

Gerard choked on his food at that, the blunt way Bert said it just making his stomach lurch. Of course he knew that some dealers let you pay with your body, but he hadn’t been imagining the story would take that route. He gawped at Bert with wide eyes, but the blonde man didn’t even seem to realise he had said anything shocking.

“I knew it was stupid but I got jealous. I threw the guy off him and beat him to a fucking pulp. God... By the time Jeph got me off him you couldn’t even recognise his face anymore.” Tears began to make tracks down Bert’s cheeks, the guilt thick in his voice. “I was just... I was so blind with rage, I was an idiot. And Jeph was just screaming at me, and I could hear sirens, way in the distance, probably nothing to do with that place but I freaked and ran. I didn’t know what to do, where to go... I was covered in this guy’s blood and I was so fucking scared. I just went home cos’ I didn’t know what else to do. I got in the shower in all my clothes and just sat there...”

Bert’s voice trailed off for a moment, his eyes fixed on his bowl of food but it was clear he was lost in the memory. Gerard considered taking his hand but he didn’t want to startle him, so he simply stared at him and waited for him to finish.

“I don’t think I was sat there long... Jeph got home pretty quickly and he came straight into the bathroom and dragged me out the shower. He was so angry... He was just shouting and shouting and I was so afraid, I just cowered there, soaking wet. He was yelling something about me putting us all at risk, saying I was gonna get us all thrown in jail... that I was an idiot and just... all this stuff. I didn’t even know he owned a knife, but then next thing I know he’s stabbed me and I’m on the floor... I don’t know why he left the bathroom, but I saw him leave and I just knew I had to go. I thought I was fucking dying ya know?” Bert laughed hollowly and shook his head, swallowing thickly. 

“I used my t-shirt to press against the wound and grabbed a jacket but that’s all... I just wandered through the streets, expecting to drop down dead at any moment, too scared to look at the wound... I didn’t have a plan at that point... but then I walked past this fucking bus stop right? And there’s this ad for a new cartoon show, I don’t remember what it was called but your name was on there.” Bert finally turned his gaze on Gerard, his eyes sparkling. “I just stood there, staring at it like an idiot for ages... I didn’t know if it meant _you_ but I was sort of half convinced it was like a fucking divine sign. I wasn’t thinking straight, I just knew I needed to get away from where Jeph would find me so I snuck onto the subway... luckily at that time of night no one gives a shit what you look like. I didn’t get stopped at all... I made it to Cartoon Network but of course it wasn’t open. I was fading fast at that point, but I wandered around and found this gay bar and... Well, I met some guy in the alley behind it, ended up begging him for help. He offered to let me stay with him if I fucked him so I agreed. I thought for sure I’d pass out before we got to his but I didn’t. I still had the cocaine on me so I took some as soon as we got to his and that got me through the weekend until I could see you.”

“Jesus...” Gerard breathed, his food long forgotten as he stared at Bert with wide eyes. He felt for sure he was going to be sick and he had to put his bowl down on the coffee table, Bert doing the same. The last thing either of them wanted to do then was eat. “I... Fuck Bert I... I don’t know what to say...”

“You don’t have to say anything.” Bert blushed, wiping his eyes and taking a deep breath to compose. He felt strangely better after telling Gerard everything and he slumped down into the couch with a soft sigh. He wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep. “I’ve only told you cos’ you asked me, it’s not important.” 

“What? Bert of course it’s important.” Gerard gasped, moving closer to Bert and taking his hands in his, lacing their fingers and gazing at him with wide eyes. “The way he treated you that’s... God, that’s so not okay Bert. You need to promise me you will never go back to him okay? _Promise_.”

Bert sighed and glanced at Gerard timidly, hesitating for a long moment before Gerard began to grow tense and he slowly nodded his head. “Alright... I promise...”

xXx

Gerard felt exhausted as he doodled idly on a corner of some paper, his head resting in his hand and his eyes drooping. He had sat up all night, unable to sleep as his mind chewed over everything Bert had said. He had guessed already that is boyfriend must be abusive, but he hadn’t expected it to be as bad as it was. He supposed that was stupid of him really, after seeing a stab wound he should have realised that things with Jeph weren’t going to be rosy. It left him in quite the predicament... He needed to help Bert get a job and find a place to stay, but now he had to consider how to do that without Jeph finding Bert. The blonde man had timidly confessed that he believed Jeph would keep looking for him, he wouldnt let him just get away that easy and it was clear Bert was terrified, but not knowing where Jeph was looking, or even if he was at all, made everything harder.

Gerard sighed and ran a hand through his hair, struggling to stay awake. He was already having trouble sleeping what with thinking about Frank all the time; he couldn’t deal with Bert’s problems too... But he had promised to help him, and he couldn’t just turn his back on him now. Not when he had told him so much and put his trust in him.

“Mm... Come in...” Gerard called softly when there was a knock at his office door. He glanced up and forced a smile as Brian walked in, the younger man looking slightly anxious. Gerard laid down his pencil and sat up properly, rubbing his eyes and trying to summon up some energy. “Hey Bri...”

“Hey...” Brian mumbled, biting his lip nervously as he approached the desk and took his usual perch on it. “I uh... I got Matt to talk to Frank for you yesterday...”

“Yeah?” Gerard finally looked a little more awake at that, his face anxious as he gazed nervously at Brian. “What did he say?” 

“He...” Brian sighed, hesitating a moment. He didn’t want to hurt Gerard, and he knew it was going to be like a kick in the teeth to hear Frank wasn’t interested in talking after Brian had given him some hope. He felt awful as he looked at the artist and quietly whispered that Frank had refused to agree to a conversation. “Matt tried his best Gee but... Well, Frank’s really stubborn...” 

Brian bit his lip and tried to touch Gerard’s hand but the older man slowly drew it away before he could reach. Gerard’s heart had sunk miserably at the news but he couldn’t say he was surprised. He tried not to let his sadness show, not wanting Brian to feel guilty for something he couldn’t help.

“Oh well... Well thanks for trying anyway...” He muttered, bowing his head and allowing the weight of the situation to crush him. Frank really was gone, and he really was never going to be given a chance to explain. “I guess I better get back to work anyway so –”

“Gee...” Brian mewled, his heart twisting at the sorrow on Gerard’s face. “Look, he wouldn’t agree to talk but maybe if you uh...” Brian wracked his brains for something, anything that might make this situation better. He just wanted to help Gerard... Just wanted to see him happy again. “Maybe if you write him a letter? I could give it to Matt and then he’ll give it to Frank.” 

“A letter?” Gerard looked up at Brian with a thoughtful expression, some of the pain in his eyes melting away as he considered it. Brian had thought of it on the spot, but he nodded instantly, pretending like he had had it planned all along.

“Sure. I mean... That way you can at least say whatever you wanted to say to him right? I can’t promise it’ll make him talk to you but at least then you’ll know you tried to clear things up...” Brian shrugged, Gerard nodding slowly, his fingertips pressed beneath his lower lip.

“Yeah... Yeah that’s right.” He agreed quietly, thinking about it for a long moment before he decided he just didn’t have anything to lose and he seized a piece of paper from the side of his desk and grabbed the first pen to hand. “And you’ll get it to him? Tonight?” He asked eagerly as he began to scribble, the words coming out of him in a rush. He knew that when Frank opened the letter he’d be tempted to throw it away the second he realised what it was, so Gerard worked to clear up as much as he could in the first few lines before he went into more detail and then grovelling. 

“I uh... Sure. Yeah, I’ll give it to Matt on my lunch break...” Brian mumbled, staring with wide eyes at the way Gerard’s hand flew across the page. Brian hadn’t been expecting him to write it so quick, it was like he wasn’t putting any thought into it at all, but Brian knew that Gerard was a man of passion, and the words on that page would be the rawest and most real thing Frank had ever read. 

“Thanks... God, thank you. Brian you’re amazing I... Thanks so much...” Gerard breathed, barely concentrating as he scribbled his name at the bottom of the page, hesitating a moment before he blushed and added ever so slowly. _’P.S. I love you so much.’_ He had never told Frank he loved him before, but he knew that he needed to... he just needed Frank to know. Even if he never spoke to him again and only ever read the words in a rushed letter, he needed to know.

“That it?” Brian asked softly, Gerard’s cheeks still pink as he slid the letter into an unmarked envelope and handed it to Brian with a silent nod. “Alright, I’ll get it to Matt.” Brian jumped off the desk and smiled hesitantly at Gerard, gently squeezing his shoulder. “It’ll be okay...” He whispered, Gerard bowing his head though he forced a smile and a nod.

“I really hope so Bri... Just... Just make sure he gets the letter okay? As long as he reads it I’ll know I did all I could.” 

xXx

“What’s this?” Frank looked curiously at the blank envelope Matt dropped on the table infront of him, the muscular man saying nothing as Frank picked it up and looked it over. They were sat outside a coffee shop, just people watching and killing time until Frank’s next photo shoot. The porn star opened the envelope but didn’t reach inside, hesitating as he looked at Matt and quirked an eyebrow questioningly at him.

“It’s just a letter.” Matt said quietly, sitting down opposite Frank and laying his elbows on the table. “Read it.”

Frank looked down at the envelope in his hands and then back at Matt’s carefully emotionless face. It didn’t take him long to put two and two together and he scowled as he folded the top of the envelope back over and began digging around in his pocket. 

“It’s off him isn’t it?” He hissed, Matt frowning at him.

“Just read it Frank, it’s not going to hurt to just read it.”

“No! Fuck you; I don’t want to know what he has to say. I told you already, stop getting involved.” Frank snapped, his eyes blazing as he scowled at Matt and snatched his lighter from his pocket. “I know you and Bri are like, all in love now or whatever, and that Brian and Gerard are friends but just keep _out_ of it. I don’t want to talk to him Matt, and I don’t want to read any shitty letter of his either.” Frank sparked a flame with his lighter and held it to the corner of the envelope, Matt gasping and trying to snatch it from him but Frank moved it out of his way and held his gaze with angry eyes as the flames ate at the envelope.

“Frank...” Matt groaned, watching in horror as the flames spread and consumed the envelope and the letter inside. “He loves you Frank...”

“No he doesn’t.” Frank whispered, dropping the corner he was holding just as the flames nearly reached his fingers, the rest of the envelope disappearing on the table. “And that is the last time you try to tell me I need to listen to him. Do it again and I’ll find myself a new agent.” Frank’s voice wavered, thick with tears but his eyes were stern and it was clear he meant it. Matt stared at him in surprise, his jaw growing tense as he clenched his teeth and gave a small, sharp nod.

“Good...” Frank whispered, grabbing his things and striding away as the wind picked up the ash from the table and blew it away into the street.


	17. Chapter seventeen

Gerard looked up, his eyes hopeful, as Brian came into his office. He had been waiting for him to show up all morning, it now just after lunch though Gerard hadn’t gone to the cafeteria for anything himself. He was still feeling exhausted and run down, he felt like he’d never be able to stomach another meal again; yet he was full of a delicate hope that Frank had received his letter... that maybe he would want to talk.

“Hey...” He whispered softly, watching with anxious eyes as Brian crossed the room to sit on the edge of the desk as always. Gerard’s heart sank slightly at the look on the younger man’s face, and he knew already what he was going to say. “He didn’t read it did he?” He sighed, his whole body deflating as he slumped in his chair and looked down at his lap. “I knew he wouldn’t...”

“I’m sorry Gerard...” Brian sighed, his face scrunched up sadly. “Matt did everything he could but...” Brian trailed off, shaking his head. He didn’t want to go into detail... Gerard didn’t need to know that Frank had burnt the letter before he could even get it out of the envelope.

“It’s okay...” Gerard whispered, just staring into his lap, his face emotionless. “It’s fine I... You did everything you could.” He heaved a deep sigh and slumped even more, closing his eyes for a moment and swallowing thickly. He wished he could just go home and go to bed. He just wanted to go to sleep and never get up again until it all stopped hurting. 

“Gee...” Brian whimpered, sliding his hand across the smooth wood of the desk to touch his fingers to Gerard’s. “Maybe if you just give him a bit more time... In a week or so maybe he’ll listen, maybe – ”

“No.” Gerard’s voice was soft but he shook his head vigorously. “No. No more chasing him.” He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut to try and dispel the headache that was beginning to form. “He doesn’t want to hear me out, so I’ll leave him alone.” He lifted his head just a tiny bit to meet Brian’s gaze, smiling sadly at him. “Thanks again though Bri, I appreciate it.” He sighed, the words polite, devoid of all feeling. As much as Gerard was trying to hide it Brian could clearly see he was just falling apart. 

“Gerard I –”

“Just go, please.” Gerard sighed, shaking his head again and looking back to his lap. “I have a lot of work to catch up on.” He whispered, Brian looking at him sadly for a long moment. He considered arguing, even opened his mouth to start... but he knew it was hopeless. Gerard was hurting and he wanted to be alone, Brian had failed to make Frank listen, the least he could do was follow Gerard’s wishes now.

“Alright...” He breathed, squeezing Gerard’s hand gently as he slid off the desk. “Just call if you need anything.” He said gently, hesitating by the desk for a moment but Gerard didn’t say anything in return. Once the silence began to feel awkward Brian sighed and nodded, turning and heading out the door without another word. He glanced over his shoulder just as he was stepping over the threshold, his eyes full of concern to see Gerard sat as still as a statue, still staring into his lap. He didn’t move at all as Brian slowly closed the door, the younger man left to go back to his own desk feeling worse than ever. 

Once Brian had gone Gerard slumped fully, laying his head against the desk and just letting a few tears fall. He kept mostly silent, he had already cried so much since Frank had left he didn’t feel like he had any energy left to sob. He was in a world of shit what with everything going on with Bert and he knew he couldn’t let this issue with Frank get on top of him. Frank didn’t want to talk to him, he didn’t want to see him... Gerard knew he simply had to accept that and move on. But God that was easier said than done.

He found it hard to believe that all of this had happened just because Frank had found out about him being a fan. He supposed he should have been honest from the start... Maybe if he had just told him then things wouldn’t have turned out like this. Bert would have turned up and Frank would have trusted Gerard enough to actually stand by him and help him get through this mess. He ached to think that he could have had Frank’s support now... his strength would have been invaluable. Even just the simple act of curling up into his arms at the end of each day would have helped tremendously. But instead he was forced to face it alone, forced to try and get through the hardest breakup of his life whilst being strong enough to help his abused, ex boyfriend get back on his feet... not to mention he had a cartoon to be writing and drawing. 

Suddenly Gerard felt the full, overwhelming impact of the situation he was in. For the first time in the past few days he realised he wasn’t coping... that he couldn’t cope. He was falling apart and things were only going to get worse now he knew he didn’t stand a chance in getting Frank back. He couldn’t just forget him and move on, he couldn’t just push him out of mind and force himself to help Bert and work on the Breakfast Monkey. He had no motivation to do anything. All he could do was sit there, head on his desk, eyes closed as he used the last of his energy to try and block out the world.

For hours it was all he did.

He sat there for so long that he must have dozed off a little, for when he came round he felt disorientated and confused. He wasn’t sure what time it was, or even what day it was, and it took him a long moment of staring at the clock for him to work out that only hours had passed. He felt like he had just slept through decades.

Gerard slowly sat back in his chair, running his hand slowly through his hair and just feeling heavy and lethargic. He still had a blank story board resting infront of him, waiting to be filled in and pitched to the head of the animation team but there was no way he would get that finished now. He would have to take it home and do it ready for the morning. He had never left anything to the last minute like this before, but he realised with a guilty twist in his stomach that the past few days he had come into work to simply mope at his desk. The most work he had done were some doodles that all looked like Frank and had ended up in the bin. 

“God...” Gerard sighed, running both hands through his hair and squeezing his eyes shut for a second. “Pull yourself together...” He whispered to himself, only resulting in making himself feel even more pathetic. He couldn’t keep doing this, there was no way he could allow his work to suffer. This was the job of his dreams, this is what he had endured years of hell at Art College for. He couldn’t allow a break up to destroy that... 

Gerard lowered his hands to his eyes and just focused on breathing for a second. He tried to remember when Bert had walked away from him all those years ago... How he had felt then. Worse than this? It was hard to imagine it now but he must have done. He had almost gone back to drugs because of it. He had tried to kill himself on several occasions because of it… If he had managed to survive through that then he’d be damned if he was going to fall through this.

Moving his hands away from his face Gerard rolled his chair closer to his desk and grabbed the closest pencil to hand. He took a moment to sharpen it and arrange his different erasers in size order across the top of the desk, the sharpener beside them. He was stalling slightly, trying to get his thoughts in order, but after just a few minutes and a grip on the pencil so tight it threatened to snap it, he was finally able to force himself to start drawing.

“Concentrate... Concentrate...” Gerard’s brow furrowed deeply as his hand slid across the page. It was a great effort to draw anything that didn’t look like Frank, and by the time he had drawn the first rough sketch of the breakfast monkey sweat had begun to bead across the back of his neck and at his temples. He wiped his hand across his forehead quickly, forcing himself to keep going, to not think of anything but the story board, of the episode it would become... For now Frank simply couldn’t exist. Bert couldn’t exist. The deadline had to be forgotten and the ache in his chest would just have to wait. 

For now, he simply needed to work.

xXx

“How was he?” Matt asked quietly, standing with his shoulder leant against the wall as he held his cell phone in his other hand. He was with Frank at another photo shoot, but it would be done any moment. He had hidden around the corner from the main room, answering his call from Brian and talking as softly as he could. “What did you tell him?”

_“Only that he hadn’t read it... I didn’t tell him about him burning it or anything. I..._ ” There was a long pause as Brian sighed deeply, the sadness in his voice clear. _“I really don’t think he would have handled it if I had.”_

“That bad huh?” Matt sighed, Brian’s soft _‘you have no idea’_ making him wince. “Is he gonna be okay do you think?”

_“Honestly? I don’t know Matt... You should have seen him when I left. He was just sat there... Staring at his hands all expressionless. He just looked so numb Matt, I... God, I’m worried about him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think he’s coping at all.”_

“Ya think we should keep an eye on him?” Matt asked softly, chewing on his thumbnail as he stared down at the floor. 

_“Oh definitely.”_ Brian scoffed, as if it should be obvious. _“But once he goes home after work there’s not much we can do to check up on him. I doubt he’d agree to hang out at all, and I’m not exactly gonna break into his apartment and spy on him.”_ Brian’s voice sounded hard and Matt could clearly imagine him running his hands through his hair in stress. 

“You don’t think he’d do anything stupid do you?” Matt asked softly, Brian giving a hollow chuckle down the phone. 

_“I don’t know Matt... I... I don’t think he would. But I honestly couldn’t say for sure. For all I know he could be fucking...slitting his wrists right now.”_ Brian snapped wildly, Matt shaking his head as he took a deep breath. 

“God Bri, don’t say stuff like that.” He groaned, not wanting the mental image of Gerard trying to end his life because of Frank’s stubbornness. Admittedly when Matt had first heard about their argument he had been on Frank’s side, but since talking to Brian about Gerard and what with Frank being so damn ignorant he had to admit he wasn’t feeling much sympathy for the porn star at all. Gerard on the other hand... Well, he was just as worried about him as Brian was. 

“Alright we... We need to think of something.” He finally sighed, running a hand through his Mohawk and leaving it there for a moment. “If you’re really that worried about him we can’t just let him go home alone tonight. At least not without talking to him again...” He paused, trying to think of how they could go about this calmly and rationally. “Do you think you could talk to him again before he leaves? See if he’s any better and if he’s still bad then we’ll figure out what to do then.”

_“I guess...”_ Brian’s reply came slowly, his voice uncertain. _“But what do we do if he’s not better? I... God Matt, I don’t know what to do.”_

“Hey, shh...” Matt sighed, wishing he was there to hold Brian to his chest and soothe him properly. “You need to stop panicking first, that’s what you need to do.” He said gently but firmly, taking control of the situation with ease as he was so used to doing. “Just... Don’t worry until you have a reason to. Talk to him again as soon as you can, check that he’s alright. If you have any doubts that he’ll make it through tonight then... I dunno, offer to take him to get a coffee or something. Just don’t let him go home, get him somewhere public with you any way you can, even if you have to drag him, then call me and I’ll come down and we’ll work something out. He can stay with one of us for a while if that’s what needs to be done. It’s not like we have to call suicide watch Brian.” Matt’s voice grew calmer the more he spoke, having a plan felt good. They were probably completely over reacting anyway. Matt knew that Brian had been attracted to Gerard, and he also knew he cared about him a lot, it was only natural he was worrying himself silly when in fact things probably weren’t that bad. 

“Does that sound good?” He asked gently when Brian didn’t respond straight away.

_“I... Yeah, okay... I guess that works.”_ Brian finally responded, his voice resigned. _“I’ll talk to him again and see how he’s doing... I’ll let you know what’s happening okay?”_

“Alright, make sure you do.” Matt nodded, sighing and rubbing his temples with one hand as he gently said his goodbye’s and hung up. His head was aching badly and he wanted nothing more than to just get a coffee and sit for a while; but when he turned around it was to come face to face with a half naked Frank.

“Jesus! Fuck, sorry Frank I didn’t know you were there.” Matt gasped, clutching his chest and shoving Frank gently for startling him. The porn star eyed him suspiciously, folding his arms across his naked chest. The shoot had only been an underwear shoot, but Frank had got his jeans back on even if he hadn’t bothered with a shirt.

“Who were you talking to?” He asked curiously, eyeing Matt’s phone as he put it back into his pocket. 

“Just Brian.” Matt shrugged, trying to walk past Frank but he followed his step so he continued to block his way. “Frank, we need to go back in there and make sure they got all the shots they needed.” Matt tried to sound firm and professional, but Frank was glaring intently into his eyes and he knew he probably had a guilty expression written all over his face. 

“What were you and Brian talking about?” He asked, or rather, demanded. “You mentioned something about suicide watch. Who’s suicidal?” 

“No one.” Matt scoffed, shaking his head and trying to get past Frank only to once more have his movements mirrored. “For God’s sake Frank you’re being childish.”

“It was Gerard wasn’t it?” Frank snapped, and behind the angry hardness to his eyes Matt could see a trace of fear. “You were talking about Gerard.”

Matt sighed heavily and stopped trying to get past Frank. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared into his eyes for a long moment, measuring the emotions flitting through them before he simply shook his head and shrugged. 

“It doesn’t matter whether we were or not, you don’t care.” He tried to pass again, but it wasn’t a surprise when Frank didn’t let him. 

“You think Gerard’s gonna hurt himself?” Frank asked harshly, his tone angry but Matt could see panic start to swirl in his eyes and he sighed as he slowly relaxed his arms. He couldn’t help but take pity on the shorter man, his face softening. 

“Look, we don’t know anything okay?” He said as gently as he could, Frank’s face by now clearly worried. “Brian’s just a little concerned about him that’s all, it’s really nothing to worry about. I’m sure he’s fine.” Matt moved past Frank then, laying his hands on his shoulders to move him when he tried to step in the way and he made his way back into the main shooting room. Frank stayed in the corridor alone for a moment, staring after Matt and feeling his heart thud erratically. He wanted to believe that he really didn’t need to worry, but at the same time he knew that Matt wasn’t the sort to jump to ridiculous conclusions. If he was worried about Gerard then there must be something to it. 

“Matt?” He mewled, finally stepping forward to follow him. “Matt?” Frank walked back into the main shoot room and sighed as he saw Matt already talking to the photographer, checking he’d got all the shots he wanted before he grabbed Frank’s shirt and tossed it to him.

“Come on, you don’t wanna be late for the video.” He sighed, leaving whilst Frank was still yanking his t-shirt over his head. He had just one more video to make and then he had a couple days off, but right now he didn’t feel like he’d be able to make it through the video at all. If he had thought he wasn’t in the mood for sex before, it was nothing compared to how out of it he felt now.

“Matt...” He whined, tipping his head back and groaning like a sulky teenager as he stomped off after the taller man, forced to forget about Gerard for now when it became clear Matt wouldn’t be talking to him about it no matter how much he complained. 

xXx

When Brian went to check on Gerard before leaving work he found the older man fast asleep on his desk. He was lying on his half completed story board, pencil still in hand and mouth agape. Brian hesitated in the doorway for a second before he sighed and moved into the room to gently wake Gerard up.

Gerard sighed and groaned when Brian’s hand touched his shoulder, shaking gently. It took Gerard a moment to shift from sleep to waking, but when he did he sat up with a jolt, gasping Frank’s name before his eyes were even completely open. Brian jumped back with a blush, looking apologetically at the artist when he met his gaze.

“Hey... Sorry, you were asleep.” He whispered, sliding the story board across the desk away from Gerard before it got ruined. “Everyone’s leaving now; I wondered if you wanted a ride home or anything?” 

“Hm? Oh, no thanks.” Gerard sighed, yawning and rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Is it really five already?” He groaned, looking at the time and then to his half finished story board. He couldn’t believe he’d actually fallen asleep. Now he’d definitely have to work through the night to finish it. He didn’t much like the idea of taking it on the subway but Brian didn’t even live in New Jersey, there was no point in accepting his offer for a lift if it meant the poor guy would have to go completely out of his way. 

“You sure?” Brian asked gently, watching Gerard start to pack his things away. “You must be really tired.” He pointed out gently, leaning against the desk and watching Gerard closely to try and judge how he was feeling. “It’s no hardship ya know, I’m heading that way anyway.”

“Really?” Gerard looked at Brian in surprise, slipping his story board into an artist’s briefcase. “Why?” 

“Matt’s over there with Frank.” Brian said without thinking, a blush blossoming on his cheeks when he saw the pain flash across Gerard’s eyes. “Oh I... Sorry Gee.”

“Don’t be.” Gerard scoffed, frowning and shaking his head like it was nothing. “You don’t have to not mention him around me ya know. I’m not a child.” He sighed, slipping on his jacket and forcing himself to smile as he looked at Bri. “I guess if you’re going that way anyway then a lift would be nice.” He said gently, feeling a little relieved to see the bright smile that lifted the corners of Brian’s mouth. 

“Awesome.” He beamed, heading out of the office with Gerard and keeping a close eye on him as they rode the elevator down to the first floor. He was trying to judge how the older man was feeling but it was difficult to tell. He was down and trying to hide it that much was obvious, but exactly how upset he was Brian couldn’t be sure. He didn’t think it would be unsafe to let Gerard go home alone, but he wanted to be sure. 

“How’s the story board coming along?” He asked conversationally, leading the way outside to his car. Gerard shrugged and glanced at the briefcase, sighing as he felt a pang of frustration in his chest. He hated having to leave work to the last minute, but it was his own fault for doing nothing the past few days. 

“Not great.” He sighed, putting his things onto the back seat before he got into the front with Brian. “I’ll have to sit up tonight to finish it.” 

“It’s not like you to leave things this late.” Brian noted quietly, clicking on his seatbelt as Gerard did the same. He looked at him worriedly, Gerard’s brow furrowed and he could tell he was stressed. “I guess you’ve been too busy with this whole um... Frank thing though, right?” He asked as gently as he could, hating to even bring it up but he needed to know how Gerard was feeling.

Gerard looked at Brian with slightly stunned eyes, surprised he was going to actually talk about this. But then he supposed he had just told him he shouldn’t feel like he couldn’t mention it. He sighed and turned to face the window again, nodding his head silently as Brian moved away from the sidewalk and joined the traffic leaving New York. 

“I haven’t really done much work at all the past few days.” Gerard admitted softly, sighing and leaning his head against the window. “I was too anxious about trying to get Frank back. Now I don’t have any chance though I need to focus on getting back on my game... I can’t risk losing my job because of this.” As much as it hurt to say it, it did help. Gerard hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone about Frank and so he hadn’t, but he supposed out of everyone he knew Brian was the guy he was most likely to open up to about this. Mikey and Elena didn’t yet know about the break up, and Gerard just didn’t feel ready to tell them. 

“You won’t lose your job.” Brian said gently, focusing on the road though his heart ached to hear Gerard talking like this. “You’re an incredible artist and the breakfast monkey is already popular. They won’t fire you for getting a tiny bit behind.” He assured him, Gerard nodding but not saying anything in response. 

“Gee?” Brian mewled.

“Yeah.” Gerard sighed, nodding to show he agreed though that was all. Now he was out of the building all he could think about was Frank. He desperately wanted to see him. It was strange to think that after Brian dropped him off he’d be going to see him... It hurt to know that Brian would be seeing a lot of him, whilst he was still dating Matt at least, and yet Gerard’s only hope of seeing his gorgeous face again was in his porn videos. 

“Gee...” Brian sighed gently, waiting until Gerard looked at him. “Listen, I know you’re hurting right now but –”

“Oh Brian, just don’t.” Gerard groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Please. I’m fine. I just need to get over him now alright.” He sighed, not meaning to snap he just didn’t want to be fussed over. “I’m fine.” He repeated, quieter this time.

“I’m worried about you.” Brian said bluntly, figuring being honest was probably the best tactic now. “I don’t think you’re fine at all.” 

“Brian.” Gerard’s voice was harder now, almost a growl. “I said I’m _fine_. Just drop it.”

“No Gerard, I won’t just drop it.” Brian snapped, following the stream of cars out of the city and towards New Jersey. “You’re not fine, I can tell you’re not. You’re upset, and Frank is being a stubborn idiot and you know what he’s upset too. Fuck I just... I don’t see why you guys can’t just talk.” Brian trailed off with a sigh, shaking his head and blushing, knowing he had said too much. 

“Funnily enough Brian I would actually love to talk to him.” Gerard said coldly, staring out the window again and regretting agreeing to the lift. If he’d known they were going to talk about this he would have refused. 

“I know, I know I’m sorry.” Brian groaned, realising his mistake too late. “I just... It’s frustrating for me too – I don’t mean you’re frustrating, just Frank. I just wish there was something I could do to make him listen to you.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I know.” Gerard sighed slowly, considering Brian’s words as he stared out the window. Honestly he hadn’t considered that it could be hard on him too, and now he came to think about it he supposed it wasn’t easy on Matt either. Gerard blushed, feeling ashamed of himself for putting them through hell too and he sighed, bowing his head. If only he could talk to Frank... But the guy wouldn’t even read his letter.

“Bri...” He mewled softly, looking at the younger man and biting his lip. “I’m sorry.” He finally sighed, his tone genuine. “I know you’re worried about me, but you really don’t need to be.” He watched Brian driving, wondering what he could say to make him believe him. He knew that he was still worried, but Gerard couldn’t really understand why. He’d be fine... he would. He just needed time. He just...

God, he just needed Frank to speak to him.

“You said you’re meeting Matt right?” 

“Hm?” Brian looked at Gerard in confusion then, nodding. “Yeah... He’s at a set with Frank at the minute...” He said slowly, the look on Gerard’s face making his heart race. He wasn’t looking defeated anymore, his eyes had gone hard and his jaw tense. “I... Gerard?”

“Can I come with you?” 

“What?”

“Can I come with you?” Gerard looked at Brian then, a determined expression on his face. His eyes looked bright, like he was seeing clearly for the first time in days and Brian felt a spark run down his spine. “I need to talk to Frank, and if this is the only way to do it then I’m doing it.”

“Gerard...” Brian breathed, looking back to the road and trying to think rationally. Honestly he wanted nothing more than to just agree and get Gerard there as soon as possible. But he knew he needed to try and be sensible about this. “He’s in the middle of a porn shoot Gee, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“I don’t care what he’s in the middle of. I’ve tried to speak to him and he insists on just hurting everyone instead. I won’t stand for it. He’s stubborn but I can be stubborn too. And I’m not giving up until he listens to me!” Gerard sat up straighter, his fists clenched and he looked out the window to see if he could judge how much longer they had to travel. “Whether you take me there or not Bri I’m going.”

Brian stared at Gerard for a moment, his eyes flicking between him and the road. He hadn’t been expecting this, but he felt a strange rush of relief course through him to hear Gerard speak like that. It was refreshing to see him refuse to give up, made his heart warm to hear that he wasn’t going to just lie down and let Frank destroy the only thing that mattered to either of them. He knew that if Gerard wanted Frank back he was going to have to fight for him, and it sounded like he’d finally realised that himself now.

“Alright.” He conceded, grinning a little as he glanced at Gerard again. “Alright, I’ll take you there. But you better have something good to say to him.” He warned, Gerard grinning back at him and he nodded. 

“I will...” He promised, his heart racing erratically and he allowed for the last time that fragile flame of hope to ignite inside him.

xXx

“Oh yeah! Fuck... Unn... Fuck me...” Frank gasped, arching his back and tilting his head back to relieve the pressure on his scalp where the other actor had his hand fisted in his hair. The thrusting behind him was hard and merciless, sending shockwaves up his spine that made his bones ache. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, sweat dripping down his body as the guy behind him fucked him... They had had the preliminary introductions beforehand but Frank couldn’t remember his name. Glen or Ben or something like that...

“Yeah... Fuck yeah, like that don’t you?” Whatever his name was groaned, Frank nodding as much as he could with his head yanked back by the hair, the cameras around them shining them with light. Matt was stood in the doorway as usual, tapping away on his blackberry. 

“Alright, pause there.” The director’s authoritative voice boomed out over the room and immediately actor number two stopped his thrusting. His hand moved out of Frank’s hair and Frank was given a second to droop his head and try and catch some of his breath back. 

“Alright guys we’re gonna take a few photos then change positions for the climax alright?” The director was busy looking at a clipboard so as the first few photos were taken he didn’t complain, but then he looked up again. “Ben can you hold onto Frank’s hair again please? Yeah that’s good, Frank move your left leg a little more down so we can see everything... Alright, that’s good.” 

Camera flashes went off and Frank sighed, closing his eyes and fixing his expressions in a variety of pleasured faces, something he’d got used to doing by now. He didn’t notice Matt turning to open the door or Brian walking in, Gerard close behind him. He didn’t even notice when the director called an end to the photos and instructed the actors to change positions.

“We’ll go for missionary now then guys. Are we gonna go straight through?” He looked to the photographers for a second, confirming something in whispers before he nodded. “Yep, straight through. Frank we want you cumming first please, and then Ben if you pull out when you’re ready and cum over his stomach.” 

From over by the door Gerard’s face had gone bright red with embarrassment. He had never heard anyone talk about sex so clinically before, like it was just a job... but then of course to these men it was just a job. He watched with an aching heart as Frank and the other actor moved so that Frank was on his back, the other guy moving between his legs and pushing straight back into him without any resistance. 

Gerard watched with a sickening feeling in his stomach as the thrusting began again and he bowed his head, unable to look. He found it hard to believe he had ever used to enjoy watching these videos now. It was clear neither actor were enjoying themselves, though their moaning and panting was believable enough when the camera’s were turned on them. 

Frank sighed and arched his back, pushing a hand between himself and Ben to get at his erection and start stroking it. He’d had to take Viagra to get hard that day, and it had been a while since he’d had to do that. He just hadn’t been in the mood... More so than usual. He opened his eyes in the hopes that maybe Ben’s face might inspire some sort of pleasure to help him achieve climax, but from the corner of his eye he could see more people had entered the room and instinctively he glanced over. When he saw Gerard stood with Brian and Matt, looking at the floor red faced and tense his stomach gave an almighty lurch.

“Frankie can you keep in character please?” The director barked at him as his eyes grew wide, his face horrified. He quickly looked away, heart racing as he tried to get back into the flow of things but it was impossible. All he could think about was the fact that Gerard was stood right there, watching him. 

“Alright guys, money shots please.” The director’s voice seemed as if it was coming from far away, Frank’s head spinning. Even with the Viagra still in his system it was all Frank could do to keep hard let alone cum and he groaned as he tried desperately to bring himself to orgasm. Making yourself cum on demand was part of the territory when it came to porn, but Frank just couldn’t do it. The more he tried and the more he struggled the more his heart began to race, his muscles tensing. He couldn’t do it.

“F – Fuck...” He gritted out between clenched teeth, Ben’s thrusting slowly slightly as he tried to stop his own orgasm from hitting but Frank knew he could be given all the time in the world there was no way he was going to be able to climax with Gerard in the room.

“I’m sorry...” He finally, gasped, dropping his hands to his sides and falling still, his chest heaving with the force of his breathing. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“Excuse me?” The director demanded, thrusting his clipboard at someone and marching over to leer down at Frank. “What do you mean you can’t? We gotta end this video in five minutes Frank and I need a money shot.”

“I know but I just _can’t_ man. I just... It doesn’t matter how many times you yell at me about it I can’t.” Frank snapped back, the director looking about ready to hit someone, but one look at Frank’s expression and he knew there was no point arguing.

“Fine! Ben you finish up and we’ll have to leave it at that.” He sighed, storming off set again. Frank sighed and ran a hand through his hair, taking a moment to compose before he nodded at Ben to continue. Within a second his face was once more a mask of pleasure so that it was impossible to tell he was hating every second, just counting down the minutes until Ben finally groaned and pulled out, jacking off his cock until he came hard over Frank’s stomach.

By now Frank’s erection had completely flagged and he sighed as he slumped against the floor, keeping himself smiling as they finished up with the usual soft kissing and such until the director called ‘that’s a wrap’ and Frank was free to get shakily to his feet. 

Matt, who had been whispering to Brian and Gerard, suddenly rushed forward to hand Frank a towel and turn to scowl at the director as he stormed over. The man had a face of thunder but Matt’s job was to defuse situations like this and after agreeing to take fifty dollars off of Frank’s money for the shoot thanks to his inability to cum at the end the director finally walked away and Frank could breathe a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry Matt I just couldn’t do it.” He whispered shamefully, wiping the cum and sweat off his body and grabbing his clothes to get dressed. The last thing he wanted was to speak to Gerard, let alone when he had just finished a terrible porn shoot and wanted nothing more than to shower and get to bed.

“Hey, don’t apologise to me.” Matt sighed, squeezing Frank’s shoulder gently. “It happens.” 

“Yeah. And what is _he_ doing here?” Frank demanded, shooting a cold look at Gerard who was still stood awkwardly with Brian, too afraid to meet his gaze. “I thought I told you I didn’t want to talk to him.”

“I had nothing to do with this.” Matt replied calmly, watching as Frank yanked on his jeans and t-shirt. “Brian was giving him a ride home and he brought him here. He wants to talk to you, he said he’s not leaving until he has.” Matt tried not to sound impressed, but he couldn’t help but admire the fact that Gerard had finally grown a pair and had sought Frank out himself. Frank of course though didn’t seem to appreciate it.

“Fabulous.” Frank snapped, yanking his shirt over his head and looking uncertainly at Gerard. He looked so down, broken almost. Frank hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him all day after hearing about the suicide thing, though he wondered now whether Matt had said that to purposefully make him worry so he’d be more likely to speak to him now... Frank had to give him for credit for one thing though, no man had tried this hard to get back with him after a break up. 

Gerard was starting to feel like he was going to throw up before he’d have chance to actually talk to Frank. Seeing him have sex for the cameras like that had made him almost turn around and just leave; only Brian’s hand on his arm stopping him. He hated having to see another man fuck Frank, but deep down he knew he’d have found it harder still to see Frank top someone else. Gerard supposed it was stupid, but even though he knew that Frank did top people for his job, the thought of seeing it when he himself couldn’t even let Frank do that was almost too much to bear. Even if they weren’t technically together, the pain was still too intense.

Gerard waited until Frank had finished dressing before he dared to so much as look at him, his eyes timid as Matt steered Frank over, much to the porn star’s disdain. Frank was clearly not happy and he scowled deeply at Gerard as he walked over, but beneath his anger Gerard wondered if he could see a flicker of hope in his eyes.

“What do you want?” Frank snapped as soon as he reached him, Gerard swallowing thickly as he tried to remember what he had come up with in the car. He’d had a whole speech planned but now it came to actually saying it he came up blank. In the end he could only think of one thing.

“I miss you.” His voice came out quieter than intended, timid and broken and pathetic sounding. He blushed and bowed his head, Brian looking worriedly at him before he grabbed Matt’s hand and tugged him out of the room to give Frank and Gerard some privacy. The team working on the video had already left, eager to get home now the day was done.

Frank fixed Gerard with a cool stare, just gazing at him and trying to work out how honest he was being. Admittedly if Gerard was lying then the guy deserved a damn Oscar for it, Frank couldn’t help but believe him.

“Go on...” He finally sighed, figuring if Gerard had come to actually find him then he supposed he should listen to him. Besides, he was exhausted and upset and he couldn’t be bothered to argue. 

Gerard looked at Frank in surprise, not expecting him to actually give him a chance. For a moment he just looked dumbfounded, but then he finally snapped out of it and got busy talking.

“I’m sorry that I upset you.” Apologising, he decided, was the best start. “I... I’m not entirely sure what you think I’ve done or... what you’re angry about exactly. But I know that I just need to be honest with you so I... I figured if I just told you everything, from the start, then... then that might be enough.” Gerard looked uncertainly at Frank, biting his lip and waiting. 

It took Frank a moment to realise he was waiting for permission to speak and the porn star blushed, nodding his head... This was the Gerard he had fallen for... the timid, nervous man who was practically afraid of his own shadow. This was nothing like the man he had assumed he must be when he found out he was a fan.

“You can have five minutes.” Frank sighed when Gerard just continued to look at him. “Say what you need to say in that time, and then I’m leaving.” He said quietly, his heart breaking to see tears well up in Gerard’s eyes but he nodded and took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain composed so he could speak.

“Okay...” He mewled, taking a moment to assess his thoughts before he jumped right into it. “Right well... I suppose I should start by admitting that I’ve been a fan of yours for... God, years.” Gerard blushed deeply at the admission, but he forced himself to keep his gaze locked with Franks. “Everything I told you about me and Bert was the truth. He did leave me when we were nineteen because I couldn’t bottom for him, and it really did mess me about... I lost all my confidence. I was too afraid to go out and try to meet people at all. So, just like anyone would, I ended up watching a lot of porn.” Gerard blushed even more and sighed, having to look down at his feet for a moment before he could meet Frank’s eyes again.

“I found your videos and just thought you were amazing... I watched you all the time. I admit I was a little obsessed... I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to know. I’m ashamed of it, I know you must hate it, I know it’s weird but...” Gerard swallowed thickly, his eyes frightened and full of tears. “But I was lonely.” He whispered, his voice breaking.

It had been a long time since he’d ever been so honest.

“I was lonely and I... I was scared to get a boyfriend and... and everyone I knew kept telling me I was too nice, too handsome to be single. Whenever I brought people back for a one night stand it was enough, I knew if I got into a relationship I’d eventually be expected to bottom and I just couldn’t risk going through what I did with Bert again... So I just watched your videos all the time. I was mesmerised by you... Not so much the sex, but just... _you_. Your eyes and your smile and the way you giggle in your interviews.” Gerard couldn’t stop himself from smiling, Frank’s chest aching at the look of pure love on Gerard’s face. Even Frank wasn’t enough of an idiot to miss that.

“I know you probably find that creepy.” Gerard sighed, bowing his head. “But I... I can’t help it Frank. I adored you and when I heard you were gonna be at that convention I just had to go. I swear I had no intention of going on a date with you, fuck I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to get a word out when I finally met you. I didn’t think I’d make it to Vegas at all... And when I got there and saw the kinds of people around I just felt so out of place. I felt lonelier than ever and I kept wondering why I didn’t just go home... When I went out for a smoke and you were just suddenly there I couldn’t think straight. I don’t know why I lied and said I didn’t know who you were... I guess I just didn’t want you to think I was another crazy fan.” Gerard chuckled hollowly, shaking his head. “Crazy right?” He breathed, peeking up at Frank through his lashes.

“You had plenty of other times to tell me.” Frank whispered back, his own voice broken as he gazed at Gerard, wanting to believe him but still feeling suspicious. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because I thought if I did you’d leave.” Gerard replied without hesitation, his eyes drilling into Frank’s, open and honest. It was like he was trying to bare his soul to him, to prove to him he was genuine. “And I was right.” He pointed out, smiling weakly. 

“No.” Frank snapped, blushing. “I didn’t leave because of that. I left because you lied. I left because you never told me, and because Bert was in your apartment, I left because everything you told me was a lie.”

“No it wasn’t.” Gerard whimpered, shaking his head and wrapping his arms around himself. “I only lied about not knowing who you were. Everything else was the truth Frank. I cared for you... Fuck, I still do care for you more than anything. When we started dating properly I unsubscribed to the porn site I was on. I didn’t want to see your videos any more, I hate seeing you with other men. I hate seeing you laying out your body to the cameras... I hate knowing other guys are jerking off over you but I never wanted to tell you that Frank cos it’s your job and it’s your choice. Fuck, I used to be one of those guys so who was I to ask you to quit? I’d never do that... Cos I loved you... Love you... So much, it doesn’t matter whether you’re with just me or a million guys, just so long as it’s my arms you end up in at night...” Tears began to drip down Gerard’s cheeks now, but he didn’t wipe them away. 

Frank sighed and shook his head, but he couldn’t look away from Gerard. Tears of his own had begun to fall and he exhaled shakily as he tried to think straight; but it was hard... Gerard was the only man to confess to hating his work and then tell him he still wanted to be with him. All his other boyfriends had demanded that he either quit or they leave... It made Frank ache then... Made him ache for the relationship he could have had with Gerard. It could have been so perfect. But...

“But what about Bert?” Frank sniffed and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, frowning at Gerard. “I saw him in your apartment Gerard. You told me you never saw him after he left.”

“I didn’t.” Gerard sighed, groaning slightly and running his hands through his hair. “He turned up that day in my office, off his face on cocaine in some borrowed suit. He was half starved to death, had a fucking knife wound in his side and passed out on my floor. What more could I do other than bring him back to my place?” He whimpered, Frank rolling his eyes and scoffing.

“Oh God Gerard, at least try and make the story believable –”

“It’s the truth!” Gerard snapped, stepping forward to cup Frank’s face and force him to look at him. Frank raised his eyebrows in surprise, but he could see that Gerard was determined to convince him, his heart lurching at the honesty in his eyes. 

“Gerard?”

“I never lied to you about him Frank.” Gerard whispered strongly, his voice trembling only a little. “I hate him for just showing up out of the blue and ruining us. But he... He needs my help. He’s been living with me the past few days cos’ he has nowhere else to go and all I’ve done is wish you were with me to help me... I miss you so much Frank. I can’t do this on my own... He’s back on drugs and has his psycho ex looking for him, the guy’s murdered people Frank... His boyfriend I mean, not Bert, and for all I know he could turn up on my doorstep any day now and kill Bert too. I’m so behind on my work and I just... I can’t do anything. I can’t do anything other than think about you and hate myself for losing you...”

“Stop it.” Frank whispered, shaking his head and pushing Gerard’s hands off him. “Stop with the self hating bull shit. You know I hate that.” He sighed, turning away for a second and just groaning as he ran his hands over his face. “I... Fuck Gerard, I just don’t know what to believe anymore.” He mewled, wanting with all his heart to believe Gerard, but he just wasn’t sure he could.

“Believe _me_.” Gerard begged quietly, taking a deep breath to try and still his sobs. “I’ll do anything you ask me to Frank... Anything if it means you’ll come back. I... I’d kick Bert out. I’d quit my job. I’d... I’d let you top me... Anything it takes.” He whispered, his voice shaking so much on the final option that Frank couldn’t help but look over his shoulder at him.

It was clear then, in Gerard’s voice alone, that he really had never bottomed before. It was the sound of a virgin making promises they couldn’t handle, but wanted to keep. It was the sound of a man opening himself up and turning to face his deepest fears just to prove his love for another person. It was the sound of undying trust and Frank couldn’t help but cover his mouth to try and stop himself from sobbing.

“Alright.” He whispered softly, his voice cold and hard. “Strip.” He snapped, Gerard looking at him confusion.

“Wha –”

“Strip.” Frank repeated, louder this time, his voice angry. “If you really mean that, then take off your clothes and get on your knees. I’ll come back if you let me top you.”

Gerard stared at Frank as if he had gone crazy, his heart missing a beat before picking up erratically. Did Frank mean it? Was that really all it took? It seemed like such an easy deal but of course Gerard’s blood instantly ran cold. He knew he had said he’d do it, but he hadn’t meant right that second.

“I... Now?” He breathed, Frank scowling at him.

“Right now. Or I leave.” He snarled, Gerard’s eyes filling with pain but to Frank’s astonishment he lifted his hands to his shirt and began to undo the buttons. He kept his eyes on Frank’s face, his hands beginning to shake three buttons down, and then the rest of him began to tremble too with each button. By the time the shirt was open and on the floor his whole body was shaking so violently Frank was speechless, unable to say anything as Gerard gulped and began to work on his belt.

Gerard supposed this was entirely his fault for suggesting it in the first place. He really hadn’t expected Frank to want it right now though but he supposed it was the only way for him to prove he loved him and so he had no choice. He’d rather die than leave here without Frank and he sighed as he undid his belt and pulled open his trousers. He hesitated for just a second before dropping them down and stepping out of them, Frank watching him the whole time.

Gerard tried not to think of the few times he’d attempted to bottom for Bert. His cheeks flushed with shame as he thought back to the one time they’d even tried it drunk in the hopes it would help him relax, and even after hours of kissing and light touches he still couldn’t relax enough for Bert to push in even just one finger. He doubted that this was going to go much better, but he tried to convince himself it didn’t matter. He’d let Frank tear him apart if he needed to, he was going to do this. He wouldn’t lose him.

“You’re shaking.” Frank whispered, finally managing to find his tongue as he watched Gerard start on his underwear. “You’re scared.”

“I’ve never done this before.” Gerard reminded him, even his voice shaking as he dropped his boxers and blushed deeply. Tears began to fall down his cheeks again as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around himself, instinctively trying to hide his body. He didn’t want Frank to look at him... 

“I’m sorry, I’m trying.” He whimpered, knowing he wasn’t helping matters.

“Gee –”

“I’ll be alright when we get started.” Gerard insisted, his voice thick with tears and he slowly sank down to his knees. “You uh... You want me like this?” He stuttered, leaning forward onto his hands so that he was waiting on all fours. He squeezed his eyes shut and just waited, shaking like a leaf and crying softly.

By now Frank’s own tears were falling thick and fast. He felt sick as he stared down at Gerard, naked and exposed, obediently waiting for him to actually rape him. Frank wanted to believe Gerard was just calling his bluff but he knew that the older man actually believed he was going to do it and that just made it worse. He was really prepared to let Frank fuck him... To just take his anal virginity right there in the middle of a room just used for a porn shoot, completely against his will. Frank had never felt like so much of a monster.

“So that’s it then? I fuck you and we go off into the sunset and live happily ever after?” He demanded, dropping to his knees behind Gerard who winced at his harsh tone.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” He asked timidly, Frank sobbing as he grabbed Gerard’s shoulder, ignoring the way he flinched and tugging him up so he was kneeling facing him.

“No you idiot.” He snapped, hardly able to see anymore he was crying so hard and he yanked Gerard against him, hugging him tight and tucking his face into his hair. “I don’t want to rape you Gerard... I just... God, I want to make you feel good. I want to be with you, you’re the only man I’ve ever truly loved.” He sobbed, his voice weak and shaking as he finally admitted it. After seeing that he knew that Gerard couldn’t be lying... The type of man Gerard was, was just not the type of man to make sex videos with porn stars for cash. Frank felt like an idiot to admit it, but he had been wrong.

“Oh God Gee I’m sorry... I’m sorry alright. I had it all wrong and I... I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.”

“Frankie...” Gerard sighed, relief making him dizzy as he wrapped his arms around Frank and buried himself against his chest. He curled up, naked and crying into his arms and just held onto him, completely overwhelmed. Frank was apologising over and over but Gerard just didn’t want to hear it. All he cared about was that he finally believed him and he choked on a sob as Frank tipped his face up to kiss him.

“Don’t leave me...” He begged softly against his lips, Frank shaking his head as he held him close.

“I won’t... God, I won’t Gee... I can’t. I love you too much.” He breathed, the two men holding onto each other and just crying quietly until Matt and Brian finally came in to get them home.


	18. Chapter eighteen

Frank gazed at Gerard through his lashes as he lay in bed, fingers curled around the edge of the covers, ready to throw them back and invite Gerard into bed as soon as the older man was done with his work. Frank wanted nothing more than to just lie with him and kiss him all night, but it turned out the artist was behind on his work and he had no choice but to finish his Breakfast Monkey story board before he could come to bed.

When the two men had made it back to Gerard’s apartment they had sat for almost three hours, just talking over everything and getting it all out into the open. Frank had spent the whole time feeling gradually more and more ashamed of himself. Thinking back he knew he had completely jumped to the wrong conclusions... But Gerard being Gerard he had insisted he understood and had done everything he could to lessen Frank’s guilt.

Lying in bed now Frank just couldn’t understand how he had ended up with someone so perfect. He felt incredibly stupid to have ever thought about leaving Gerard. Knowing how close he’d come to never seeing him again made him feel sick. Who cared whether Gerard was a fan. He was still the best man Frank had ever met and he should be fighting to keep him not lose him. Frank had never felt more stupid in his entire life.

“Gee...” He mewled, biting his lip as he gazed at Gerard’s back. “Baby, you coming to bed soon?” 

“Mm? Oh, yeah I’m nearly finished.” Gerard promised, not turning to look at Frank. Now that they were okay again his motivation to draw had returned in one fell swoop and he was racing through his story board. He had had an onslaught of ideas and couldn’t wait to pitch them, but for now he just needed to finish this one and then he’d spend the rest of the night with Frank. 

Gerard knew that Frank was beating himself up over everything but the artist wanted nothing more than to just forget it all now and focus on moving on. They were back together and that was what was important. He didn’t care what Frank had thought or how stubborn he had been, all he cared about was the fact that he was back in his bed and in just a few minutes he could curl up in his arms and everything would be okay again. Frank would help him with the Bert situation and his work would start to get back on track. It was all just _fine_.

Frank sighed as he gazed at Gerard for another long moment before he rolled slowly onto his back and just gazed at the ceiling. Knowing he had caused Gerard such sadness, enough to stop him from doing his job, made him feel like the worst person in the world. Especially now that he had been told the whole story with Bert as well and he realised how much stress Gerard had been under recently. Frank made a silent vow to himself to stand by Gerard now no matter what. He had talked to Bert briefly when they had arrived in the apartment, before the blonde man had scuttled away into the kitchen to keep out of their way whilst they talked on the sofa which was serving as his bed since Gerard didn’t have a spare room. 

Frank couldn’t say he liked Bert. He seemed pleasant enough... If a little timid and nervous. But Frank could only think of everything that Gerard had told him about him. How cruel he had been to Gerard when they had been dating. He remembered what Mikey had said to him that day outside the university, about how cut up Gerard had been when Bert left and Frank just couldn’t bring himself to like him. He would be civil to him, and he would help him for Gerard’s sake but that was all.

The thought of Jeph finding them made Frank feel anxious, but he didn’t want to let on in case he worried Gerard. The porn business had its dark sides, darker than most people imagined and Frank had met some cruel people in his time. He knew better than to underestimate men like Jeph and he prayed to God that he never found them. He had no doubt that he would hurt Gerard for trying to help Bert, and Frank just didn’t know what he’d do if Gerard was harmed. The thought brought tears to his eyes and made his heart race erratically, and he had to take a deep breath to compose himself.

“Hey.” Frank jumped in surprise and blushed when he saw that Gerard had moved and was standing beside the bed, gazing down at him. “Are you okay?” 

“Oh, yeah I’m fine.” Frank quickly replied, his cheeks pink as he sat up and smiled at Gerard. “You finished?” He asked, nodding over at the desk where the storyboard was still spread out. Gerard glanced over his shoulder and looked at it for a second, smiling as he nodded.

“Yep. I think it should be okay... I mean, I rushed it a little bit but you can’t really tell and –”

“Good.” Frank grinned, interrupting him as he sat up and grabbed Gerard’s hips, pulling him gently onto the bed to lye atop him. “Now I can finally get your full attention.” He smirked, leaning up to softly brush his lips against Gerard’s, sighing in quiet delight when the older man kissed him properly almost instantly. “Mmm... Gerard honey, I’m so sorry for everything...”

“Shh...” Gerard hushed him quietly, pulling back just enough to brush his lips against his jaw gently, his hands already caressing the sides of Frank’s neck. “Please, stop apologising... You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” He sighed, nuzzling against the spot of flesh where jaw met neck, making Frank sigh quietly.

“I love you Gerard.” He groaned, sliding his hands down his sides and closing his eyes for a moment. “Listen you uh... Seeing me today, at work...” Frank hesitated, not sure whether now was the best time to bring this up but he knew he’d have to say it eventually. Even though Gerard knew he was a porn star that was still a lot different to actually having to see it live. 

Gerard pulled back to look at Frank, waiting for him to continue with a confused gaze. He bit his lip, stroking his thumb along the side of Frank’s neck. “What about it?”

“I just...” Frank timidly met Gerard’s gaze, his hands playing round his hips. “It... You’re okay right? Just, I’d never have wanted you to see that. I don’t usually let my boyfriends come to a set.” He blushed, Gerard’s own cheeks tingeing dark pink too. He could understand why Frank would feel awkward about it, it hadn’t exactly been fun for Gerard either. He hated to see that guy fucking Frank, but he knew it was just his job, and it had been only too clear how much Frank enjoyed it.

“It’s fine.” He sighed, smiling softly at Frank, his eyes genuine. “I understand it’s just your job... I mean, I can’t say I’d ever want to see it again but it doesn’t change the way I feel about you.” Gerard moved so that he was lying beside Frank, feeling awkward lying above him and just talking. Frank smiled and rolled onto his side to gaze lovingly at Gerard, touching their hands together. “In fact,” Gerard continued, “nothing that’s happened recently has changed the way I feel about you... I love you Frankie, so much.” He sighed.

Frank looked at Gerard with slight surprise then, his eyes even welling up slightly. Trust Gerard to say something like that... to reassure him that they were going to be okay, even if Frank had been the world’s biggest idiot; even if he did still feel wracked with guilt... It was fine. It was all fine. Because Gerard loved him.

“Gee...” He mewled, leaning close to hug his arms tight around him. “I love you too gorgeous.” He sighed, meeting him in a gentle kiss and smiling as he saw how tired Gerard looked. “Do you have work early tomorrow?” He asked softly, Gerard smiling as he nodded.

“I need to be in for seven, to set up the storyboards... We’re going to be picking which episodes we’re going to do for the first season of the Breakfast Monkey so, I guess it’s a big day.” Gerard blushed slightly, not wanting to appear too proud of himself but he was incredibly pleased with how things were going in his job. He had always wanted his own cartoon and now he had one. Though he wasn’t looking forward to the early start. 

“I’ve set my alarm for half five but... Well you can just stay in bed as long as you want, if you don’t mind staying here without me.” 

“Of course I don’t.” Frank smiled, idly unbuttoning Gerard’s shirt for him and pushing it back off his shoulders. “I best not keep you awake though eh? I don’t want you struggling to get up.” He smiled, though it felt like forever since they’d last had sex and even with all the action Frank got in his job he was dying to just lose himself in Gerard. “I have a few days off so I’ll be right here when you get back home...”

“Yeah?” Gerard grinned, sliding his shirt down his arms and throwing the fabric to the floor before he lifted Frank’s shirt over his head and got rid of that too. “Work’s going to drag knowing you’re at home waiting for me.” He purred, meeting Frank in a soft kiss and just letting their lips stick for a moment. He wanted to take things up a notch and let himself grow intoxicated, wanting nothing more than to just get naked with his lover and roll about all night. But he already only had five hours sleep ahead of him and he couldn’t be exhausted for work.

“Mmm... It’s going to drag for me too.” Frank agreed softly, kissing Gerard delicately as they both shimmied out of their pants so that they were just lying in their underwear. “When you get home tomorrow night I want it to be all about us okay?” He sighed, Gerard eagerly nodding his agreement. 

“That sounds perfect Frankie...” He breathed, tangling their legs and kissing Frank softly for as long as he dared before they were forced to admit that he needed his sleep and Frank obediently pulled back. He smiled as Gerard flicked off the lamp and snuggled down under the covers together, his fingers playing with the older man’s hair as he watched him falling asleep.

For hours Frank just stayed up, watching him in the darkness with a soft smile on his face. Gerard was so beautiful... And Frank felt a lump in his throat knowing he had been prepared to lose him. He didn’t care what happened now, he would never leave Gerard again. Matt had been right all wrong, he was an idiot to give up on him.

xXx

When Frank woke up the next morning Gerard had already disappeared for work, but there was a note on his pillow with the words _’love you’_ written on it. Frank picked it up and sleepily smiled at it, his heart fluttering. He had already decided he wanted to make the evening special for Gerard when he got back home, and he was eager to go out and get some ideas for it.

He got up and showered quickly, making his way out of the bedroom once he was dressed to find something for breakfast. He had completely forgotten that Bert would be there too and he jumped in surprise as he stepped into the living room and saw the blonde man sat on the sofa, rolling a cigarette on his knee. When Frank walked in he glanced up at him, his eyes nervous.

“Oh, morning Frank.” He said shyly, looking back to his half completed cigarette, his cheeks tingeing pink. “Did you err... Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah thanks, did you?” Frank asked automatically, looking at him somewhat suspiciously as he walked across the living room towards the kitchen. The duvet Bert used had been folded up neatly and laid at the end of the couch, the cushions neatly rearranged so it was impossible to tell he had even slept on it. 

“Yes thanks.” Bert answered Frank quietly, rolling his cigarette carefully before licking the tab of paper left and sticking it down. “You smoke?” He asked politely, Frank glancing over his shoulder at him from where he was making a cup of coffee, nodding silently. 

“Want one?”

“No thanks.” Frank turned back to his coffee, spooning some of the instant stuff Gee had into a mug before it occurred to him he should ask Bert too. “Do you uh... You want a drink or anything?”

“Nah.” Bert shrugged, sliding a nearby ashtray over to him before digging in his pocket for his lighter. “I just had one.” 

Frank nodded and grabbed the now boiled kettle to pour the water into his mug, feeling strangely tense around Bert on his own. He wasn’t afraid of him, far from it, but he did feel the indescribable urge to march over to him and punch him in the face. He knew this weak, whimpering facade of his probably wasn’t fake but Frank found it hard to believe after all the things he had heard about him that he could really be so... different. 

Frank glanced over at Bert as he found some bread and showed it in the toaster. The blonde man was gazing at some of the art work on the walls from his spot on the couch, smoking and tapping the ash into the ashtray on his knee. He looked pale and his face sunken, his hands a little shaky. Gerard had told Frank Bert was in the middle of detoxing from the drugs he’d last taken, and that they needed to be delicate with him because of it. Frank rolled his eyes at the thought and wandered to the fridge to find the butter.

“Hey Bert.” He called as he peered inside the fridge. “Listen, I was thinking about cooking me and Gerard a meal tonight, like a romantic kinda thing.” Frank grabbed the butter and wandered back to the counter, looking at Bert now who was gazing at him with those ridiculous sad puppy eyes. “Should I cook for you too?” Frank hadn’t been planning to offer, he’d actually been planning to ask Bert if he could leave for the evening to give Gerard and Frank their own time but he already knew that wasn’t possible. Bert didn’t have anywhere to go and Gerard would get upset if Frank kicked him out.

Bert looked surprised at the offer, and it took him a long moment to snap out of it and answer. “Oh... Oh, no thanks man I wouldn’t wanna intrude or anything.” He blushed, finding it strange to be faced with Gerard’s new lover... to hear about their romantic plans. Though he knew it was ridiculous he had never been able to imagine with anyone other than himself. “I’ll just cook for myself.” 

“Well, if you’re sure.” Frank shrugged, not attempting to persuade him otherwise as his toast popped and he instantly got to work buttering it. “We’ll be out of your way pretty quick.” Frank assured him. Most of his evening’s plans involved the bedroom and Bert could probably already guess that. 

“Uhuh...” Bert nodded, blushing as he knew exactly what that meant and he frowned to himself. He didn’t much like the thought of Frank and Gerard having sex whilst he was in the house but he didn’t have a lot of say in it. He was a guest, and he owed Gerard a lot, so he simply smiled and nodded his head. 

Frank looked at Bert curiously as he carried his plate into the living room and sat down in the chair opposite the sofa. He gazed at the blonde as he slowly chewed on his toast, just trying to psyche him out. He fully believed that he had a crazy boyfriend who was after him, and he even believed that he sincerely cared for Gerard... to an extent. 

“So Bert,” he spoke loud, making the blonde jump and look at him fearfully. “Gerard tells me you two used to be a couple?” Frank smiled softly, his voice innocent. Bert’s cheeks instantly flushed pink but he held Frank’s gaze as he nodded. “What caused your break up? If you don’t mind me asking.” Frank purred sweetly, Bert looking suitably uncomfortable.

“We uh... We weren’t working out, at the time.” He mumbled quietly, wondering how much Gerard had told Frank. Clearly not a lot... Bert could understand that. “Personal issues.”

“Personal issues as in ones you had? Or ones Gerard had?” Frank asked innocently, determined to see Bert squirm. 

“I... Uh... A m – mixture of the two I guess...” He spoke slowly, not sure where Frank was going with this. It wasn’t exactly a lie, it had been a mixture of the two... A mixture of Gerard’s personal issues and his own shallowness. “It was a long time ago, I can’t really remember to be honest.”

Frank scowled deeply at the lie but nodded and turned back to his toast. He didn’t want to cause any trouble that would upset Gerard, but that was the only thing that stopped him from confronting Bert for being such an asshole. What kind of a man left his boyfriend just because he was too afraid to bottom for him? It angered Frank to no end but he knew exactly what would make him feel better... He knew how to prove that he was better than Bert.

Gerard was terrified at the thought of anyone trying to do anything to his ass. That was perfectly understandable. Frank had been terrified his first time too. The problem for him though lay in that he naturally preferred to be on top, where as Gerard was clearly a natural bottom. Frank knew that if he could just prove that to Gerard then his fears would melt away, and he had finally thought of a way he could do that. It was risky... and maybe tonight wasn’t the best night to try what with their recent near-break up; but Frank enjoyed risk tasking... Enjoyed it enough to already know this was a risk he was willing to take. If Gerard freaked out he would just have to pray he’d be able to talk his way out of it, but if it all went to plan...

Frank looked at Bert and bit back a smirk. If it all went to plan then he’d prove once and for all that Bert could never be as good as him. No matter how much he appeared to have changed. 

xXx

Gerard was in high spirits as he made his way home. The meeting to discuss the Breakfast Monkey episodes had gone well and his new story board had been popular. Brian had come to see him in his office and had been eager to congratulate him on settling things with Gerard, hugging him tight and leaving him with a parting wink and the words ‘have fun tonight’. Gerard had blushed... But he couldn’t stop the smile that had split his features. He had every intention of having fun that night.

When he made it back to the apartment and opened the door his senses were immediately assaulted by the most delicious smell of food cooking. His eyes fluttered for a moment and he practically drifted through the door, inhaling deeply and sighing in delight. 

“Oh... Wow. Frankie?” He called softly, his mouth watering. He had no idea what he could smell, definitely something Italian and he beamed as Frank appeared in the kitchen doorway, looking far too sexy to be allowed in a tight black button up shirt and jeans. He had discovered Gerard’s ‘kiss the chef’ apron and was wearing it over his clothes. 

“Hey gorgeous.” Frank beamed, rushing over to fling himself into Gerard’s arms. “Welcome home... Did you have a good day at work?” He asked brightly, and for a gleaming second Gerard could imagine that they were actually living together, and that this could happen every day. He grinned back and nodded, dropping his artist’s case so that he could wrap his arms tight around his waist and press their bodies together.

“Mmhmm... It was a good day. But it’s been killing me being away from you.” He whispered, smirking at the apron. “Now let me kiss the chef already.” He smirked, cupping Frank’s face and capturing his lips in an eager kiss. Frank giggled but soon moaned in delight, kissing Gerard hungrily after what felt like forever of not being able to feel his lips. 

“Mm...” He mewled, tiptoeing up to get closer to him, just beginning to weave his fingers through his hair when a soft cough behind him made them break. Gerard blushed deeply, only just realising Bert was in the room but Frank only smirked and pecked his lips again.

“Dinner will be ready in five minutes, just sit and relax whilst I take care of everything.” He purred, kissing Gerard quickly again before he flounced into the kitchen. Gerard watched him go with slightly stunned but adoring eyes, smiling drunkenly to himself before he snapped out of it and turned to see Bert staring at him.

“Um... Hey Bert, did you have a good day?” He coughed, feeling a little embarrassed for kissing right in front of him, but at the same time a little smug too. It was like Frank had stuck a big sign above his head. _’Look at me, look at how much better off I am now I’m not with you’_.

Bert nodded quietly and turned back to the magazine he was reading, his cheeks pink and brow furrowed. He felt like he was completely in the way, but he had nowhere he could go. He was fairly sure Frank would be capable of snaring all of Gerard’s attention anyway. The blonde man could tell his job for the night was to just do everything he could to blend into the background and not be noticed. 

Gerard nodded and blushed as he picked up his things and moved to the bedroom to put everything away and get changed. He felt a little bad... He knew Frank wanted tonight to just be about the two of them and he knew it would make Bert feel awful. But at the same time he felt like he and Frank needed this. They needed a nice romantic evening just to really help put the argument behind them, and he wasn’t about to ruin it just because he felt a little guilty about Bert being left out. 

When Gerard made his way back into the kitchen he was wearing a loose band t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He was tired from his early start but eager to spend his night with Frank and he cast a polite smile at Bert before he disappeared into the kitchen where Frank was just serving up the food. There was a bottle of red wine on the tiny table by the window, as well as a lit candle and Gerard’s heart fluttered at the gesture. 

“Frankie, this looks amazing.” He cooed, stepping over to kiss his cheek before he sat down at the table. He supposed it said a lot about him that he was so amazed by something so simple. But he didn’t care. This was perfect. 

“Yeah?” Frank beamed at Gerard as he carried their plates over and sat opposite him. He touched Gerard’s hand on top of the table for a moment, smiling warmly at him and feeling his heart flutter. “Its mushroom ravioli. I made it all myself, even the pasta.” He grinned, hoping he would impress. He really wanted to show Gerard just how special he was that night.

“Oh Frankie... Honey, this is amazing, thank you.” Gerard sighed, squeezing Frank’s hand and smiling at him for a long moment before he forced himself to stop melting and try the food. Frank grinned at him and filled their wine glasses from the bottle as Gerard took a bite out of one of the little pasta parcels, closing his eyes almost immediately and humming his appreciation.

“Mmm... Mhmm... Oh... Frankie this is delicious...” He sighed, Frank’s heart swelling with love as he nodded and picked up his own cutlery to try. 

“Thanks Gee.” He grinned; taking a bite himself and he had to admit it wasn’t too bad. He loved cooking, it was something he had always enjoyed and he was glad now that he had the talent. Everything had to be perfect. “There’s cheesecake for after too if you want it, but I didn’t make that.” He confessed through a soft giggle.

Back in the living room Bert was curled up on the sofa, chin resting on his arms as he gazed blankly at the television. The volume was on low and he could hear Frank and Gerard chatting and laughing in the kitchen. It made his heart sink and tears prick in his eyes, but he tried to ignore them. He would never admit it but he was jealous... He had been so in love with Jeph, had completely surrendered his heart to him and yet they had never had nights like these. Especially not right after a huge argument. Those usually ended in Bert getting pushed down onto the bed and taking whatever Jeph gave to him as punishment for causing a row.

Bert didn’t resent Frank and Gerard their relationship. He had fucked up his chance with Gerard and he knew that... He didn’t even think he wanted to be with him again. He just wanted someone to love him back... The way Frank clearly loved Gerard. Bert had watched him all day, flitting about the kitchen and worrying over the tiniest details. Bert had thought stuff like that only happened in the movies and yet here was Gerard’s new boyfriend, proving him wrong...

The whole time Frank and Gerard were eating Bert just felt sick and lonely. He was imposing by being here, he knew he was. Maybe it would be better to just leave and take his chances with Jeph finding him. He could find a hostel to stay in and look for a job without Gerard’s help... Surely that would be better than hearing the two of them whispering seductive words over their cheesecake.

By the time all the washing up had been done and the wine finished Gerard was feeling like he had fallen and landed on cloud nine. He was so happy he could do nothing but smile like a drunken idiot, and when Frank gently took his hand and began to draw him towards the bedroom he only chuckled and followed without question. He didn’t even notice Bert on the couch, too engrossed in the subtle swing of Frank’s hips in his tight jeans and his cute round butt. He was practically mesmerised as they disappeared into the bedroom and shut the door behind them.

Frank turned to face Gerard as soon as they were safely hidden away in the bedroom together and he grinned at him, draping his arms around his neck. He didn’t say anything, just gave Gerard a chance to look around and take in the red fairy lights draped around everywhere, casting the room in a seductive glow. He hoped that that coupled with the wine they had shared would help Gerard relax.

“Frankie...” Gerard breathed, gazing around with a soft smile, his heart fluttering. “You did all this?”

“Mhmm...” Frank nodded, grinning as he pressed closer to Gerard and tangled his fingers gently into his hair. “I wanted tonight to be perfect.” He whispered, smiling as he tiptoed up and pressed a tender kiss to his lips. “I want this to be all about you...”

“Frank...” Gerard sighed, already intoxicated and they had barely even kissed yet. He melted against Frank eagerly and pressed their lips tighter together, kissing him slowly but passionately as Frank smoothed his fingers through his hair and pulled him gently back towards the bed. 

Frank smiled as he worked his lips tenderly against Gerard’s, his hands smoothing down the back of his neck and playing with the back of his shirt as he sighed quietly. It felt so good to kiss Gerard again, and he savoured every second knowing that he had almost lost this. He kept his kissing gentle, trying to show how much he loved the older man through his lips alone as he pressed tighter and tighter to him, the warmth of their bodies radiating around them.

“Gee... Undress me honey...” He purred, nipping tenderly against Gerard’s lower lip and smiling along with him. 

Gerard felt warm and relaxed, any nerves he may have had completely disappeared as he ran his hands down Frank’s chest and then began to slowly unbutton his shirt. His artist’s fingers brushed gently against each inch of skin that was revealed with every button that was released. He took his time, savouring the feeling of Frank’s warm, olive skin as he pushed his shirt open and let it slide down his shoulders.

The dark fabric bunched round Frank’s elbows and Gerard left it there a moment as he lifted his hands to Frank’s face and cupped it gently, kissing him with more passion. Frank sighed and submitted to him, his lips parting on instinct to allow Gerard’s tongue to push into his mouth and rub slowly. He pressed his own hands to Gerard’s chest, clutching his shirt gently and mewling into his mouth. He could feel himself getting hard already and his head span from the surprise. No one could turn him on like Gerard could.

“Gee...” He breathed, his voice husky already and Gerard groaned quietly in response. His hips twitched forward of their own accord and Frank felt his erection against his thigh. Knowing Gerard was just as turned on from a simple kiss made his own cock pulse with pleasure. 

“Frankie... I...” Gerard sighed, not knowing what to say. What he wanted. He pushed at Frank’s shirt to make it fall to the floor and instantly wrapped his arms around his waist, smoothing his hands up his warm back. Frank sighed and pressed closer to him, kissing him with a sudden fierce heat before he pulled back to tug Gerard’s shirt over his head and drop it to the floor. 

“Gee, get on the bed baby.” He whispered huskily, taking a step back to undo his jeans and drop them to the floor, Gerard quickly doing the same before he sat down on the edge of the bed. He blushed as he tugged off his underwear too, just following Frank’s lead before he moved to lie down in the centre of the bed. He felt strangely warm and content, not exposed at all and he smiled lazily at Frank as he watched him finish dressing before he too climbed up onto the mattress.

Frank smirked as he crawled up the bed to lie above Gerard, resting on his elbows to keep his weight off him as he just gazed down at him for a moment. Gerard smiled softly as he met Frank’s gaze, his heart racing slightly and he resisted the urge to push his hips up and rub against Frank. He sensed that Frank had specific plans for tonight, and he was content to just lie back and wait to see what they were. 

Frank took a moment to just gaze down at Gerard and drink in the sight of him. He was so gorgeous, Frank was convinced he would never see a man more beautiful. The way his naked body just stretched out across the sheets, all pale skin and heavy breathing, his erection pulsing every few seconds. Frank felt like he could just stare at him forever, but he had other plans. 

“Gee... I want you to promise me something...” Frank whispered, tracing his fingers down Gerard’s chest and rubbing one round a rosy pink nipple. Gerard sighed and squirmed a little, his eyes growing hazy as he nodded. 

“Anything...” He sighed, arching up slightly and biting his lip when his erection rubbed against Frank’s, sending a sharp tug through his groin. Frank smirked at him and tried to suppress his own shudder of delight, though his hips jerked forward on instinct. 

“Tonight, I don’t want you to do anything for me okay? Let me just focus on you...” He whispered, his eyes swirling darkly and Gerard hesitated for just a moment before nodding. He wasn’t keen on that deal, he wanted to be able to touch Frank and make him feel good too. But part of him understood this was Frank’s way of making up for all he had put him through and so he would graciously take it.

Frank grinned at Gerard’s nod and leant down to capture his lips in a grateful kiss. Gerard sighed and leant up slightly, chasing Frank’s mouth as he pulled back and whining when the kiss broke. Frank chuckled and hushed Gerard, leaning down again to kiss his jaw and trail towards his neck. Gerard sighed and turned his head, kissing through Frank’s hair just so he could kiss _something_. He wanted nothing more than to just entwine himself around his lover and never let go, but he stayed lying back as he was, letting Frank have his way. 

Frank could tell that Gerard was seriously restraining himself and he chuckled as he rubbed his hands lightly down his sides. “Relax Sugar...” He whispered, nipping the shell of Gerard’s ear before kissing lightly down his neck. He had no problem with Gerard touching him, he just wanted all their focus to be on the artist. As soon as Gerard became aware of this he got busy trailing his hands down Frank’s back, sighing in delight at being able to at least feel him and he arched his back with a soft groan as Frank sucked against his neck. 

“Frankie... What are you planning?” He mewled, sighing and biting his lip. He allowed his eyes to flutter closed as his fingers followed every dip and contour of Frank’s back. He was feeling so intoxicated already, his hips starting to rub upwards in slow, wavelike motions in the attempt to get some much needed friction against his aching erection. Frank chuckled huskily and bit against his skin ever so lightly, licking over the mark he had created on his neck before he began to kiss back down again, pushing his own hips down to meet Gerard’s and rub their cocks together with more force.

“O – Oh! Frankiee...” Gerard groaned, his nails digging into the younger man’s back for just a second, his legs spreading wider. “Please...”

“What do you want Gee?” Frank sighed, his own head spinning with the force of his lust. It felt like he had been waiting forever for this. His heart began to race as he wondered fleetingly whether Gerard was going to ask him... whether he actually wanted... 

“I... I don’t...” Gerard huffed lightly, his cheeks and neck flushing red and he furrowed his eyebrows slightly. Frank felt him tense and sighed, quickly moving up to peck his lips. He could tell that Gerard had just clicked on to what Frank might be trying to do and he worked quickly to reassure him.

“Hey... Shh... I’m not going to do that.” He whispered soothingly, Gerard’s blush intensifying though he relaxed. He looked timidly at Frank then, embarrassed that they still had to be like this, that he still couldn’t find the courage to even _try_ ; but Frank just gazed back with that understanding smile of his and Gerard just fell for him even more.

“I love you Frankie...” He sighed, relaxing again as Frank continued his soft kissing down his chest. Frank smiled and nodded, murmuring a soft ‘love you too’ against his skin before his tongue flicked against one of Gerard’s nipples and the artist became well and truly lost. 

Frank gazed up at Gerard through his eyelashes, smirking slightly as he teased the hardened nub with the tip of his tongue. Gerard’s eyes were closed and his lips slightly parted, and Frank could feel his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing. Their lips were still rubbing slowly together, though Frank kept the pace lazy and relaxed. He didn’t want to rush a single second of this. He wanted to make Gerard feel incredible. 

Gerard’s hands slid over Frank’s back and shoulder as he sighed and arched into his touch. Frank was sucking against his nipple now, drawing out soft noises of appreciation from his lips before he could even think about it. The porn star moved across to his other nipple after a moment, his hands by now working slowly over Gerard’s thighs, keeping his legs pressed open and his body still as he rubbed against him. Gerard felt like his skin was on fire he was so hot, squirming against the bed and feeling pleasure tug through his groin and centre in his cock.

“Oh Frankie...” He groaned quietly, conscious that Bert was only in the other room and he didn’t want him to hear. “P – Please...” He gasped, not even sure what he was asking for he just needed _something_. Anything more than this delicious torture Frank was inflicting on him, sending soft tingles of pleasure wherever his lips touched but always avoiding the one place he wanted them.

Frank felt a smug thrill run through him as he kissed down Gerard’s stomach, feeling the muscles in his abdomen clench and release with every touch of his lips. Knowing how much he was turning the older man on made his own cock twitch and ache with need, but he forced himself to ignore it; he needed to have a clear head for what he was going to do to ensure that he didn’t overstep any boundaries. He was taking a risk with this, he knew, but he also felt like... maybe this was the right time. He didn’t know whether that was just because he wanted it to be, but he was still going to act on it either way. 

Gerard was in seventh heaven as he closed his eyes and brushed his fingers through Frank’s hair, spreading his legs as wide as he could get them as Frank kissed down one thigh and then the other, deliberately teasing him. He considered begging again but he just couldn’t find his voice, his was completely losing himself and he loved every second.

Frank gazed at Gerard through his lashes as he kissed slowly up towards his erection, taking his time and growing intoxicated from the scent of him. He inhaled deeply and his eyes fluttered as he pressed his lips to the base of the shaft, not moving at first, just feeling the blood pulse through it and letting Gerard grow impatient. He was squirming again, making high, keening sounds that said only too clearly how much he wanted him even without words. 

Frank sighed and touched the very tip of his tongue to the shaft, watching Gerard closely as he licked slowly, ever so slowly upwards. The artist shuddered, his hands falling out of Frank’s hair to grip the sheets instead, his back making a slow, graceful arch as pleasure shot up his spine. Frank smiled and closed his eyes, licking back down just as slowly but continuing on to lick down over Gerard’s balls and slick over his perineum. The reaction was expected but no less gratifying – Gerard gasped sharply and gripped tighter to the sheets, yanking at them as he struggled not to buck his hips and moaned breathlessly.

Frank gave a quiet groan of delight himself, his tongue lapping gently against the underside of Gerard’s balls, nudging against the sack before he sucked in one side and then the other. He could feel the stubble of the hairs growing back and his body tingled at the thought of being able to shave Gerard again. He had never really considered it a kink of his, but pretty much anything became a kink of his when Gerard was involved.

Frank lathered attention over Gerard’s balls until the older man was gasping and groaning in frustration, his nails were scrabbling over the sheets and Frank was sure he was starting to chant ‘please’ over and over under his breath. Frank was starting to feel desperate too, his own cock hanging hot and heavy between his legs. He forced himself not to touch it just yet, focusing on licking his way back up Gerard’s shaft again before swirling his tongue around the tip.

Gerard gasped and released a shuddering moan, his hands moving to tangle through Frank’s hair as his cock throbbed and jerked as it was taken slowly into Frank’s mouth. His skin was on fire and every cell in his body seemed to be singing its relief. He groaned and tipped his head back, his fingers clenching and unclenching in Frank’s soft locks as he bobbed over his cock. 

Frank sucked lightly at first, and then harder as he slid his lips up and down along the shaft. He worked his tongue around it, using every bit of skill he had to really make Gerard sing. He closed his eyes as he concentrated on making him feel good, moving one of his hands down to wrap around his own cock when the ache became too much. He rubbed his hand up and down his length and groaned in relief, his moans muffled by Gerard’s dick in his mouth.

So overcome by his own pleasure for a minute Frank was oblivious to the way Gerard’s length was pulsing and twitching more and more, his balls began to tighten and his whole body tensed like a wound up spring. When Frank noticed it was almost too late and he pulled off immediately, leaning back onto his knees and releasing his own cock with a soft hiss. He had the taste of pre cum in his mouth and when he looked down more was leaking from Gerard’s tip, the artist groaning loudly in pain.

“F – Fuck! Frankie...” He gasped, squeezing his eyes shut and whimpering as his orgasm ebbed away and left his cock harder than ever, bright red and weeping. “Frankie please... Oh God... Fuck Frank, it hurts.” He gasped, squirming uncomfortably though he didn’t even try to touch himself. Frank smirked and licked his lips, loving to see how obedient towards him the older man was without even needing to be told.

“Shh... Shh my love, I’m going to make you feel so good...” He purred, tugging at Gerard’s hips until the older man got the hint and rolled slowly onto his stomach, his breathing hard and heavy. “I’m going to make you cum so hard Gerard...” 

“Fuck...” Gerard groaned, the promise making his cock throb but at the same time some of the fog in his brain was beginning to clear as Frank pulled him up so he was on his knees. He felt weak and wound up, desperate for release and so turned on. He couldn’t move and he just kept his chest pressed into the cheeks, but that caused his ass to raise into the air and he suddenly began to panic over what Frank was planning. 

“I... F – Frankie... Frankie what are you going to do?” He gasped, his voice full of nerves and he tried to move, but Frank’s hand pressed lightly on his back and he hushed him softly.

“Not _that_ Gee, I promise.” He whispered, his voice huskier than before and Gerard blushed as he realised that seeing him in this position was turning him on even more. Gerard’s heart began to race, making him even more breathless and he struggled to think of what to do as Frank began to kiss down the back of his neck. He could feel his erection pressing into the crease of his ass and it terrified him... but at the same time he wanted to make Frank feel good. He wanted to prove that he loved him. He had said he wouldn’t fuck him, but then Gerard had told him before he’d let him if it meant he’d stay with him. Maybe Frank really was intending to take him up on that offer.

“Frankie... Frank please I...” He felt like crying. He wanted to remind him he had never done this before, that he was frightened... but it was all things that Frank already knew.

“Gerard...” Frank whispered, sliding one of his hands beneath the older man to wrap around his erection and stroke slowly. “Shh honey... I promise, I’m not going to do that okay?” He whispered, Gerard trembling slightly and Frank felt his heart ache. “I just wanna make you feel good... Just wanna try one little thing... If you don’t like it you can tell me to stop and I will. You _know_ I will... Please Gee...” He breathed, kissing a slow, gentle trail down his spine. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I...” Gerard hesitated, sighing as the hand on his cock worked to keep him hard despite his fear. Frank’s kisses were light and loving, and he knew that if he refused him this then he would always regret it. He was never going to stop being afraid, but he loved Frank more than anything and he didn’t want to risk losing him again. “I do trust you.” He mewled, lowering his head and slumping more against the sheets, spreading his legs just a little as a sign of consent. “I trust you...”

“I love you Gee.” Frank sighed, smiling as he kissed down his back ever so slowly, his free hand moving to his ass and gently massaging over one of the cheeks. He knew Gerard was frightened, it was obvious in the way that he trembled and how his erection had flagged slightly. But Frank also knew that fear would never go away, and if he stopped now then he doubted they’d ever get to a point where they both felt confident enough to try again. Frank had to at least show him what he wanted to do, and if it became too much and it was obvious Gerard wasn’t enjoying it, even if he didn’t ask him to Frank would stop. He had slept with enough people to be able to read a body well enough to know when he was pushing too hard.

“Just relax Gee... It’s gonna be okay...” Frank purred, kissing down the base of his back and feeling Gerard just tense even more as he began to kiss against the soft round globes of his ass. He kept his hand working over Gerard’s length, trying to keep him aroused as much as he could as he kissed him. He was confident that when Gerard felt what he was planning he’d be hard in an instant... He really hoped he would anyway. He didn’t want to ruin their evening by being too pushy.

“Are you alright?” He whispered gently, moving his hand away from Gerard’s half hard cock to join the other in squeezing and massaging his ass instead. “Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.” Gerard sighed, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes tight shut as he hid his face in one of the pillows. He was trembling a lot by now, and when Frank began to part the cheeks of his ass he felt like his heart was going to jump right out of his chest. He remembered fleetingly how terrible it had been the last time he and Bert had tried to do this and he felt almost teary with fear. He didn’t want to upset Frank, he didn’t want to disappoint him by not being able to relax but it... it was just so difficult.

“Frankie, I’m sorry I’m trying to relax I... I really am just –”

“It’s okay.” Frank whispered, still kissing over his backside with feather light kisses. “I’m not going to... ya know... put anything in.” He promised quietly, Gerard blushing deeply at that but his shaking lessened. 

“You’re not?”

“Not even a finger.” Frank swore, smiling slightly when he felt Gerard relax a lot more, his trembling almost completely stopping. “I told you we weren’t gonna try that Gee, and I meant it.”

“I... Oh.” Gerard suddenly felt stupid. He should have known Frank wouldn’t push him into anything like that, but that still didn’t explain what he _was_ doing. “Then... Then what are you – OH!” Gerard’s whole body jolted as if he had been electrocuted when Frank suddenly blew a stream of warm air over his exposed anus. To his shock Gerard’s cock twitched in response and his whole body flushed red as he trembled again.

“F – Frankie?”

“Shh...” Frank purred, spurred on by Gerard’s response and he blew softly over his ass again, his fingers still massaging his cheeks as he held them apart. Gerard had turned his face so that only his cheek was pressed into the pillow, his eyes half open as his fingers dug into the sheets and he waited in anticipation to feel what Frank would do next.

Frank alternated between breathing warm over his ass and kissing gently at his cheeks. He nipped lightly every now and then, not doing anything more for a long while until Gerard had grown used to the sensations and was relaxing even more. His cock was fully hard once more and he was beginning to huff against the sheets, needing something _more_.

Sensing that he was ready Frank leant forward and pressed the point of his tongue into the cleft of his ass, running it up slowly along the crease, brushing over his sphincter and carrying on upwards. Gerard gasped in surprise and a long shudder ran through the whole length of his body, his fingers gripping tighter to the sheets. He choked out Frank’s name and shivered as Frank slid his tongue along the same path, again and again, sometimes fast and sometimes slow, setting fire to nerve endings Gerard hadn’t even known he’d had.

“Oh... F – Fuck...” Gerard breathed, sighing softly and beginning to pant again as Frank’s tongue began to focus on his anus, circling round the tight ring of muscle so that Gerard could fee Frank’s heavy breathing against it. Hot on the saliva. For a long while it just felt all wrong, alien and unwelcome and he remained tense. But as he began to get used to it, as he got over his paranoia when it came to anyone touching back there he began to relax and he realised that it felt... really, really good...

“Oh... Oh Frankie...” He groaned, arching his back and pushing his ass back instinctively, gasping as Frank’s tongue swiped over his hole and dug against the sphincter. He was still too tight for him to breach him, but unlike with fingers this wasn’t embarrassing, it didn’t matter whether he could breach him or not. It still felt good, it still felt _right_.

“Frankie... Frankiieee!” He gasped, beyond himself already. He had never felt anything like this and he moaned as Frank held his ass cheeks apart and worked his tongue over and around his entrance. As Gerard came to terms with what was happening he felt a dizzying sensation of accomplishment, feeling almost smug as he realised he was letting Frank do this and he was actually _enjoying_ it. He had never managed to let anyone do something like this before and he moaned all the more freely for it, spreading his legs as far as he could go and gasping for breath.

Frank felt ridiculously smug as his talented tongue flicked and rubbed against Gerard’s ass. The older man was being incredibly vocal and Frank found himself hoping that Bert could hear him, hoped he could guess what they were doing. No one had done this to Gerard before, Frank was the first, and he was going to be the first to fuck him too. The _only_ one to fuck him. He knew that he had managed to get this far the floodgates would be opened and Gerard would finally start warming to the idea of bottoming.

“Oh... Oh f – fuck Frankie I... Fuck I need to be quiet... Fuck...” Gerard groaned, fisting his hands in the sheets and pressing his face into them, trying to muffle the sounds of his moans as the tip of Frank’s tongue wiggled against his ass and he felt his muscles relaxing. It was a sensation he wasn’t used to... Whenever he tried anything like this he would tense so much it would be almost painful, but now his sphincter was loosening, opening up for Frank’s hot, wet tongue to dip inside. 

Frank groaned his delight as he managed to slip a tiny bit inside Gerard, feeling so proud of him to be able to relax this much and he almost chuckled at the cry of delight that tore from Gerard’s throat. His cock was throbbing again by now, weeping pre cum onto the sheets as he arched and trembled, his body writhing under that sinful tongue.

Gerard had never guessed this could feel so good and his cock was throbbing from the force of the pleasure. His body was on fire again, his head spinning and he could do nothing but push back eagerly against Frank’s face and hope he wasn’t being too embarrassing. Frank certainly didn’t seem to mind, his tongue wasn’t letting up one bit and he was even starting to nibble against the ring of muscle, opening his mouth around it as if he was giving it some sort of obscene kiss. Gerard wondered fleetingly why this wasn’t disgusting, how it was possible he could be enjoying but then the pleasure clouded his mind once more.

Frank’s erection was starting to ache fiercely again as he listened to the delicious noises Gerard was making. Knowing he was making him feel so good was turning him on too and he groaned as he grabbed his cock and began to pump his hand rapidly over it. He kept his other hand on Gerard’s ass, keeping him held open as he worked his tongue further inside him as more of the muscles relaxed. He hadn’t expected it to go so well and he moaned softly, sending vibrations through Gerard’s body as he stroked at his inner walls.

Gerard was so lost in his pleasure by now that he couldn’t see straight so he kept his eyes tight shut, scratching at the sheets and moaning breathlessly. There was a pulsing deep in his core, a pleasure that tugged through him and centred in his ass. In that one secret place he had never believed he could want to be touched. But now he just couldn’t get enough, for one blinding moment he even considered begging Frank to do more, to maybe try adding a finger but then he was suddenly cumming, gasping as he was thrown over the edge by Frank’s warm hands and talented mouth.

“O – Oh, fuck! Oh my _God_.” Gerard’s voice was hoarse and broken as he cried out, rocking back against Frank as he came without even being touch. Frank gasped and moaned himself, tugging at his own cock and working his tongue against Gerard as much as he could whilst his muscles were spasming. Frank had never managed to make anyone cum before without touching their cock and he felt dizzy from the sense of power that gripped him. 

Gerard was practically screaming as he came hard, spilling rope after rope of cum onto the sheets as it shot from his cock that hung heavy and untouched between his legs. By the time he was beginning to come down from his orgasm Frank had sat back, working his own erection with a tight fist and Gerard collapsed onto the sheets just as he heard Frank grit out his name, tumbling through his own climax.

Frank was gasping and panting as he milked his orgasm, his free hand gripping the back of Gerard’s leg where he had collapsed down. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cum so hard and by the time he was done he felt sticky and boneless.

“Gee...” He groaned, slumping down next to the older man and just panting harshly for a long moment, struggling to get is breath back.

For a while neither man moved, Frank too overcome from his orgasm and Gerard just completely incapable. The artist’s ass was still quivering and he felt entirely over sensitized. He couldn’t believe what had just happened and before he knew it he was giggling; laughing breathlessly as a dizzy sense of relief washed over him. He loved Frank... He loved him so much he was able to do _that_ with him and enjoy it. Enjoy it so much it had given him the best orgasm of his life.

“Frankie...” He giggled, rolling weakly onto his side and smiling as the porn star moved closer to drape his arms around him. “Frankie I love you.” He groaned breathlessly, Frank chuckling too as he nodded and pressed a light kiss to his forehead.

“I love you too beautiful...” He sighed, laughing quietly along with Gerard as he too understood the enormity of what had just happened.

Back in the living room Bert had had enough. He grabbed the few clothes Gerard had lent him and stuffed them into a bag he found in the kitchen drawer. He was bright red in the face and close to tears as he stole as much food as he could carry and put that into the bag too. He couldn’t stay here... Not after hearing what he just had. He was imposing and he was hurting and it would just be better for everyone if he left. Frank and Gerard belonged together and Bert just didn’t belong anywhere.

Just before he left Bert scribbled a quick note to stick onto the fridge, his heart hammering and tears beginning to drip down his cheeks as he grabbed the bag and walked to the door. He hesitated for just a moment, looking sadly at Gerard’s bedroom door and almost hoping someone would come out and stop him from leaving... but of course no one did and so Bert simply opened the door and tiptoed out.


	19. Chapter nineteen

When Gerard woke up early the next morning he couldn’t bring himself to leave Frank’s arms. He was warm and content and he just felt completely whole entwined around his lover’s body. He smiled to himself and nuzzled into Frank’s neck, whispering softly that he needed to get to work but no matter how much he tried to convince himself to move he just couldn’t do it. The thought of having to get to New York and then do a whole day’s work was just too daunting. All he wanted was to stay with Frank and sleep all morning.

Forcing himself to get out of bed Gerard moved to the bathroom to shower and attempt to wake himself up. He was just washing the last of the shampoo from out of his hair when slick arms wrapped around his waist and lips nuzzled against the back of his neck. Gerard jumped in surprise at first but then smiled to himself, exhaling slowly when he felt Frank’s cock, already semi-hard pressing against the curve of his ass.

“Frankie?” He purred, tilting his head back and sighing in delight as Frank eagerly kissed and nibbled at the length of his throat. His hands were stroking across Gerard’s chest, teasing his nipples and making him moan softly. He could feel himself waking up more, though he stayed relaxed and he grinned quietly. 

“I gotta leave in half an hour sugar...”

“I can be quick.” Frank smirked, rocking his hips gently against Gerard’s ass to rub his cock against him. His erection was growing to full length now and Gerard’s own cock perked up at the feeling. He pushed back gently against Frank and groaned in delight when Frank wasted no time in sliding his hand down Gerard’s stomach to wrap around his semi and stroke him into an aching erection. 

“F – Fuck...” Gerard sighed, arching more against Frank and pushing his hips forward into his slowly pumping fist. “Frankie... Baby, I love you.” He smiled softly, Frank turning him round with ease to pin him against the shower wall and smother his lips in a heated, but somehow still tender kiss. 

“I love you Gee...” He sighed, mewling as he kissed him long and deep, tongue probing into his mouth and lapping at the roof of his mouth. Gerard groaned as vivid flashbacks of the night before swam through his mind, the way Frank had so expertly rimmed him and he moaned hungrily into Frank’s mouth. God, he wanted to feel that again. He wanted to feel so much more than that. 

“Frankie... Nnghh... Frank God, I...” His cock was starting to pulse and twitch so hard Frank could easily feel it against his thigh and he smirked, hearing an unspoken request in Gerard’s voice and he pulled back slightly, tugging on his lower lip with his teeth.

“What is it baby?” He purred, the hot water of the shower raining down over them and making their skin shine. Their hair was plastered to their foreheads and the nape of their necks, and Frank was really hoping that Gerard was trying to ask what he thought he was. Last night had been incredible for the both of them, and Frank was praying that he had done enough of a good job that some of Gerard’s fears surrounding anal sex had disappeared. He wasn’t going to push anymore, wanting Gerard to decide for himself from now on exactly how far they went when it came to his body. 

Gerard huffed gently against Frank’s mouth, moaning weakly and nudging his hips forward so that his cock slid against Frank’s wet thigh. He could feel the heat radiating from Frank’s own erection and part of him just wanted to join them together and rut hard against one another until they came. But then a bigger part of him wanted something more intimate than that. He considered asking Frank if he thought they could squeeze in a quick fuck before work, but as much as Gerard loved fucking Frank the thought didn’t make his cock throb half as much as when he dared to think about the night before.

Gerard wanted Frank’s tongue in his ass again, and the thought made his whole body flush with embarrassment. 

“Frankie I... I want...” He sighed softly, not sure he could say it. He was certain Frank could tell what he wanted, and he was half expecting him to supply the answer for him like he usually did. But this time he wouldn’t do it... Frank kept silent, waiting for Gerard to tell him himself as he kissed and sucked at his neck, driving the artist wild with need. He didn’t have time to hesitate or be shy; he knew he could ask Frank this... He _knew_ he could, and he didn’t consider himself to be a bashful lover but... he had never asked anyone for something like this before. He was so used to trying to convince people that he really didn’t want it, too consumed by his own fear, that now he considered voicing the words he found he couldn’t speak them. 

“Frankie please... _Please_.” He groaned, bucking his hips forward again before pushing back against the hands that had come down to gently squeeze his ass. Their bodies were soaked and it helped with every movement, Frank’s mouth slicking down Gerard’s collarbone and the older man was beyond himself at just the thought of that hot mouth doing the same thing against his ass. 

“What? What do you want Gee, _tell_ me.” Frank groaned, practically begged and Gerard choked out the words before he could hesitate anymore. 

“I want you to do it again...” He gasped, his hands coming down to seize Frank’s hips and yank him forward, rubbing their wet cocks together and making them both moan huskily. “Th – That thing... With your tongue... Nnghh... D – Do it again...” He whimpered, his whole body feeling like it was on fire from the desire.

“O – Oh... Fuck mm... W – What thing?” Frank gasped, a devious smirk on his lips and Gerard groaned in frustration. Of course Frank knew exactly what he was talking about, he just wanted him to spell it out.

“Th – That thing with your _tongue_ in my _ass_.” He grunted, pushing aside his embarrassment with ease thanks to his lust making his mind cloud up. He didn’t care what he was asking for anymore, he just _wanted_ it. God, he _needed_ it. His cock was throbbing and there was a strange pulsing between his ass cheeks, his whole core aching for Frank to hurry up and give him want he wanted.

“Mm, anything you want Gee.” Frank smirked, his heart racing with delight and he tiptoed up, wrapping his arms tight around Gerard’s neck for a moment as he kissed him fiercely. He felt a strange lump in his throat, overwhelmed that Gerard had asked him for this. This was the outcome he had hoped for, but he hadn’t really believed it could happen. Everything was going better than he had ever imagined and for a moment he just had to kiss Gerard and try to convey through their lips how much he loved him.

When Frank finally pulled away from Gerard’s lips both men were panting, their eyes shining and faces flushed. Frank dropped to his knees without another word, Gerard’s cock twitching in his line of view but he resisted the urge to take him into his mouth and instead took hold of his hips to turn him round. Gerard moved with no resistance, his heart racing with anticipation. 

“God Gee, you’re so hot.” Frank groaned, kissing and biting with a lust fuelled hunger over Gerard’s lower back and buttocks. Gerard had placed his hands flat against the wet shower wall, bowing his head and bracing himself as the water from the shower cascaded down his back.

Knowing they didn’t have much time Frank was quick to part the cheeks of Gerard’s ass and watch with glazed eyes as the water running down the older man’s spine filtered down the cleft of his ass and spilt like a waterfall over his puckered entrance. Frank’s body was already quivering with delight, eager to get started. He had rimmed plenty of guys in his job, but it always felt a little disgusting. Though every rimming scene in porn began with an off camera thorough cleaning it always just seemed a bit revolting getting up close and personal with a strangers backside. Gerard on the other hand had the opposite effect on Frank and the younger man’s mouth practically watered as he leant forward and began to snake his tongue teasingly up and down the cleft between his cheeks.

Gerard began to moan softly already, his muscles spasming and his cock jerking so violently it lifted further towards his stomach before bobbing back down again to point straight forward. Frank’s tongue was fluttering over his hole and making his body tingle all over, pre cum starting to leak from his tip almost immediately. This was fast becoming his new favourite thing and he spoke through quiet moans, reminding Frank they had little time.

“Mm... Don’t worry Gee...” Frank purred, knowing he could get Gerard off in an instant. He stopped teasing and focused the point of his tongue against Gerard’s anus, licking and rubbing and feeling the muscles relaxing slowly but surely. Though Gerard was still extremely tense he relaxed a lot quicker than he had the night before, spurred on by the knowledge it would feel good along with the hot water coaxing his muscles to relent. 

Frank could taste the hot water from the shower on his tongue and he pushed the wet muscle harder against Gerard’s ass, moaning in slight surprise when it slid into him with ease. Gerard was starting to shake slightly, moaning with his face pressed into his bicep to muffle the sounds echoing round the shower. It felt just as good as he remembered and he struggled not to push back as his cock leaked more and more pre cum.

“F – Frankie... Oh... Oh God...” He groaned, his voice somewhat strained and he just had to drop a hand down off the wall to wrap around his erection and stroke rapidly. He tightened his fist around the base and dragged his hand up, his tip sticky with pre cum which he smoothed about the head using his thumb. He was starting to jerk his hips erratically as he felt his orgasm swiftly approaching and he found himself begging for more before he could really think about what he was saying. 

“Fuck Frankie m – more... Please, God babe I need... n – need more...” He gasped, somehow his rapidly building orgasm just not enough. He wanted more, he wanted _everything_. Frank seemed hesitant, his licking ceasing but Gerard continued to beg, refusing to give in now. Never before had he felt the desire for what he was asking, but now he did he wasn’t going to let go of it easily. It was about damn time he felt like this. 

“Frankie fuck, _please!_ ” He gasped, Frank groaning and shaking his head dazedly, water getting into his eyes so that he could barely see as he went back to fucking Gerard with his tongue. He could easily feel how relaxed the older man’s muscles were and so, with a racing heart, he shakily did as he asked and slicked a finger past his tongue to press slowly into the older man.

Gerard’s hips twitched, then jolted, and for a moment he almost tried to pull away but then instinctively he threw his hips back and pressed down against the finger sliding into him. His muscles were clenching tight, and usually Frank would have waited for them to relax further but Gerard was insistent. He was moaning loudly now, head thrown back and fist working heatedly over his own erection.

“Fuck! FUCK! Oh God its... Oh _God_ I’ve actually...” He couldn’t seem to get the words out, but Frank sympathised. He knew what he was trying to say and he nodded, moving his lips to kiss against his lower back as he slowly thrust his finger, Gerard’s tight heat dragging against his knuckles. 

“I know Gee... I know...” He whispered, moaning slightly himself and just having to use his free hand to wrap around his cock and stroke in time to Gerard’s own jacking off. 

Gerard was completely beyond himself, his head spinning, completely overwhelmed by what was happening. Sure he had asked for it but he hadn’t been prepared, but now that Frank’s finger was inside him he just felt so proud of himself. He remembered fleetingly how Bert had never been able to get a single finger inside him no matter how hard he pushed, and now he could feel Frank sliding in a second to join the first.

Gerard’s moaning grew louder, barely a second between each wanton cry as he pushed his hips back and forth to slam down over Frank’s fingers and then buck back into his own fist. The fingers didn’t feel all too good, the two of them were stretching him and they felt alien and wrong, but somehow it crashed him into his orgasm full force. It certainly didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as he had expected, Bert’s fingers had hurt more than this and they hadn’t even penetrated him. The slow, somewhat rough drag of Frank’s fingers pressed inside him was nothing more than a small ache. More than anything it was just all sensation, not quite good or bad, just solid and there.

Frank could feel himself getting closer and closer, and he mostly kept his fingers still inside the older man as Gerard pressed down against them. He tried to angle them in a way that they would slide easier inside him, trying to just make Gerard at least comfortable but then before he knew it Gerard was clenching hard around them, crying out Frank’s name as he came hard over his own hand.

Gerard gasped and groaned, choking out loud moans as he pumped his hand faster and faster, milking his orgasm for a long moment before he slowed his hand down and just dragged out the last few drops of cum. He felt in shock, his head swimming from the force of his orgasm. The orgasm he had achieved with two fingers deep in his ass...

“Oh God...” Gerard breathed, hissing in discomfort when Frank’s fingers slid out of him and he slumped down to his knees, bowing his head and panting as Frank grunted behind him and Gerard knew had achieved his own climax.

Frank panted softly as he milked his orgasm for as long as he could before allowing the water to wash his hand clean. He felt just as in shock as Gerard and his heart pounded at the realisation of what they had done. Gerard had begged him and he had reacted... but now he couldn’t help but worry that it had been too much too soon. The artist certainly seemed to have enjoyed it, but Frank just felt like things had happened entirely different to how he had wanted them to. He had hoped they would get to the fingering stage fairly soon, but he had expected it to be slow and romantic, lying in bed after discussing it for a while first. This had been fast and gritty and though Frank had loved it at the time his quickly clearing head turned to panic.

“Gee?” He asked breathlessly, sliding forward on his knees, to wrap his arms weakly around Gerard’s back to rest on his chest, nuzzling the back of his neck. “Gee... Gerard... Are you okay?” He breathed, praying to God he hadn’t overstepped a mark.

For a moment Gerard was silent, just letting the water wash down over them both as he felt Frank’s body pressed against his back. He felt a little shocked still, but as his lust disappeared he felt himself slowly relaxing. 

“I’m fine...” He sighed, smiling almost drunkenly and he slid his hands up to rest over Frank’s squeezing gently. “I’m sorry I... I got a little carried away.” He admitted softly, though he chuckled a little as he blushed. He turned slowly to face Frank, letting him see how relaxed he was and he grinned as he gently pecked his lips. “I’m sorry if I put you on the spot there... I love you.” He sighed, Frank breathing a long sigh of relief himself and he nodded, cupping Gerard’s face and kissing him for a moment longer.

“I’m just glad you’re alright. I was worried I... Went too far.” He confessed, but Gerard just shook his head with a warm smile. 

“I asked for it.” He reminded him, chuckling softly and he grinned again, kissing Frank a little more passionately this time. “Mmm... Thank you. I’m... I’m glad we did that I... I never thought I could...” Gerard trailed off, not needing to remind either of them just how terrified he had always been of something like that. He was stunned that it had happened so quickly and with relatively little build up... But maybe that was just what he had needed all these years. To stop thinking about it and instead get caught up in the heat of the moment. 

Frank sighed and nodded, smiling as for a while the two men just stayed under the warm spray of the shower and kissed gently. The moment was perfect but short lived, Gerard reluctantly getting to his feet and mentioning that he needed to get to work for what felt like the hundredth time. No matter how much he said it he just couldn’t bring himself to get motivated to go.

Frank resisted the urge to try and tempt the older man to take the day off, knowing he needed to be supportive and just wait patiently for him to get back from work rather than stop him from going at all. He waited in his towel, just letting Gerard dry himself and dress quickly. When they made their way back into the bedroom and saw the time Gerard flew into a blind panic to get himself ready to leave on time. He threw on his shirt and trousers and gathered up everything he needed for the office. Frank watched him with a fond smirk on his face, just lounging against the wall in his towel and saying nothing.

“Right, I better be off then.” Gerard sighed, fumbling with his jacket before he rushed over to Frank and pressed a quick, heated kiss to his lips. “I’ll be home later, you’ll still be here right?” He asked, Frank following him out of the bedroom and through the living room to the door. 

“If you want me to be.” He smirked in response to Gerard’s question, the older man flashing him a soft smile, his eyes sparkling.

“God yes. I want you here.” He chuckled, turning to kiss Frank again. When they broke apart he glanced to the sofa where the blankets Bert had been using were neatly folded and stacked to one end. It was barely seven am so he had no idea why the blonde wasn’t still sleeping there. “Huh... I wonder where Bert went.”

Frank glanced at the sofa but simply shrugged, honestly not too bothered what had happened to the older man. He turned to rest his hands on Gerard’s chest, playing with his shirt collar for a moment and smiling as they shared another quick kiss. It was obvious that both of them were reluctant to spend the day apart, but Gerard forced himself to take the lead and pull back, opening the door to leave.

“He must have gone out for coffee or something...” He mumbled in relevance to Bert. It wouldnt be the first time that he had, but he had certainly never gone this early before. But then, he realised with a blush, he had probably heard them in the shower and decided to get out of the house until they were done. Gerard’s cheeks flamed at the thought but he didn’t have time to mull over it, instead he simply kissed Frank one last, desperate time before he flew out the door with a loud - 

“Bye! I love you!” 

Frank giggled to himself and shook his head, unable to wipe the lazy smile off his face as he shut the door and wandered into the kitchen to make some breakfast. He wasn’t usually an early riser, but since he had dragged himself awake to join Gerard in the shower he figured he may as well stay up and maybe do something productive.

Flicking on the coffee machine Frank turned to grab the milk from the fridge when the note stuck to the front caught his eye. At first he simply registered it to be a piece of paper, perhaps a shopping list, but by the time he had grabbed the milk and was closing the door again he had realised it had Bert’s name signed on the bottom and he frowned curiously as he shut the fridge door and pulled the note off it.

The handwriting was bad, barely legible, and Frank guessed Bert must have written it in a rush. He expected it to simply say he had gone out for coffee like Gerard had suggested, but it was a bit long to be just about coffee. Frank slowly put down the milk and leant against the side, trying to decipher the handwriting and read the words written on the paper.

_’Gerard,_  
Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. If it weren’t for you I’d probably be dead right now, and I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate it because I do. I know you say that I’m not imposing by being here, but I feel worse with each day because I still haven’t left.  
I’m really happy for you and Frank. I really hope things work out this time. You seem to be very in love.   
Thanks again for everything.   
I can’t stay here any longer. I’m getting in the way of your life and I need to leave sooner or later. I’ll find a job and a place to stay on my own. Please don’t worry about me.   
Be happy. Thanks... again.  
Bert.’ 

The note seemed very disjointed and it was clear that Bert had simply wrote what he was thinking as he thought it. It wasn’t very well put together and Frank could only just imagine how Bert had scribbled it last minute before leaving the apartment. But when exactly? This morning? Last night? He had still been on the couch when he and Gerard had disappeared into the bedroom the night before, he was sure of it, but he could have left five minutes after that for all Frank knew.

The porn star sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his heart beginning to race. It didn’t take him long to realise that if Gerard knew about this he’d be devastated. He was clearly worried about Bert and he hadn’t been trying so hard the past few days to help him just for the guy to up and leave without a moment’s notice. If Gerard came back to find Bert gone he’d be distraught, and Frank couldn’t very well sit down and do nothing about it.

Praying that Bert hadn’t left too long ago Frank forgot about his coffee and rushed back into the bedroom to find his clothes. Now that the initial shock had worn off he was starting to feel pissed off. He didn’t want to spend the day driving around New Jersey to try and find Gerard’s ex boyfriend, but he didn’t feel like he had much choice. He would do anything to keep Gerard happy, and deep down, as much as he loathed to admit it, he didn’t want to see Bert get hurt either. He couldn’t say he liked the guy, and he was still trying to figure out whether he trusted him or not, but he still didn’t want to end up seeing some horrific news story later in the week to discover that Bert’s body had been dragged out from the bottom of a lake or something. 

Throwing on his jeans and T- shirt Frank did little to tame his hair before he was running out of the apartment and down to the parking lot. He didn’t have a key to lock the apartment behind him, and he felt a little anxious just leaving it where anyone could walk in. He would just have to hope luck was on his side and that he wouldn’t get back to find everything stolen. He wondered too late whether he should have hid Gerard’s treasured Alan Moore drawing at least, but by then he was already in his car and starting up the engine. He supposed he could go back up, but right then he just wanted to find Bert and drag him back to the apartment.

As Frank began to drive slowly down the road he realised he didn’t have a single clue where to look. He didn’t want to call Gerard to see if he had any ideas, and though he wracked his brains just in case, he knew Bert hadn’t given him any sort of clue as to a sort of sanctuary he may have around here. All he could do was drive about and hope he spotted him. It seemed a long shot, but he would have to try. 

Frank was just grateful that he had lived in this part of Jersey his whole life. He knew it well, and if Bert wasn’t out in the open and likely to be hiding somewhere Frank knew a lot of places he could be. He just prayed that he would be able to get him back before Gerard got home, or before Jeph found him...

xXx

Gerard was struggling to concentrate as he tapped his pencil on his desk and stared blankly at the different bits of paper work he was expected to fill in. No one ever told you that having your own cartoon meant you had to do professional stuff that didn’t include drawing, but Gerard hadn’t struggled with any of it until now. He was reading the words but he just couldn’t take it in, which wasn’t exactly a surprise considering how much Frank had taken over his mind.

Now that the heat of the moment he had experienced in the shower had passed he had a nervous swirl in his stomach. Half of him was thrilled that they had gone as far as they had. He had asked for it, and Frank had simply done what he had told him to. But now that it was over he didn’t know what to feel... 

He couldn’t tell whether his ass was actually hurting or if it was just a psychological pain because he knew what they had done. Either way he was able to walk and sit normally, and when he got distracted by small amounts of time by his paperwork he didn’t feel it at all. But then when he stopped working and allowed himself to carry on thinking about Frank the dull ache would return. It was nothing he couldn’t handle, but it made him blush and forced his heart to race. He almost felt as if he had the words _’my boyfriend fingered me’_ written across his forehead. As if there could be anything more humiliating. 

Gerard sighed and put down his pencil, picking up his cup of coffee instead as he sat back in his chair and cradled the mug in between his hands. The sides warmed his palms and helped him relax as he turned his head to gaze out the window and run through everything in his mind again. He had been caught up in a sudden frenzy of lust when they had been in the shower that morning, that much was obvious, and it had been that lust that had caused him to ask Frank to do what he did. Thinking back on the sensation of his fingers pressing inside him he realised he probably wouldn’t have been able to cum through that alone if he hadn’t already been so turned on by the rimming beforehand. It had been a little uncomfortable and hadn’t felt all that good, and yet at the time...

Gerard blushed deeply as he thought over how badly he had wanted it. How even with the fingers inside him he had been overcome with desire, pushing back against them and desperately seeking his orgasm whilst Frank did relatively very little. Gerard didn’t think he’d ever been so frenzied before and his cheeks flushed red as he realised how ridiculous he must have seemed. 

He knew that as much as he didn’t want to he and Frank would have to talk about this when he got home. He didn’t want Frank to get the impression that he wasn’t afraid of bottoming anymore because he was. Admittedly nowhere near as much as he had been before; he had never once imagined that he would be able to get so far as to get even one finger inside him let alone two. Bert had tried plenty of times and failed, and he had never let anyone else try since then. To think that Frank had managed it without any build up at all terrified him. 

Gerard sighed and sipped his coffee, considering everything until his head ached from it all. He knew only one thing for sure, he was frightened by the prospect of what this could all lead to – now that Frank had managed to get this far he had no doubt he would try to take Gerard all the way. And deep down Gerard wanted that too... He knew that Frank would probably be the only person to take him, whether they stayed together forever or not. But Gerard wanted them to be forever... he really wanted that. And he wanted to give himself to Frank because he knew it was what Frank wanted. And if he had managed to get this far without freaking out then, he reasoned with himself, there was no reason why he couldn’t talk it out with Frank and eventually have sex with him completely. 

Gerard shivered slightly at the thought, but mingling in with his fear was the tiniest spark of excitement. He couldn’t imagine how it would feel to lie beneath Frank... to have him seated deeply inside him, kissing him and holding him tight as they made love, but he wanted to find out...

The sudden knock at his office door caused Gerard to jump in surprise, though it was hardly a shock when Brian walked in, grinning brightly at him and waving a hand up.

“Hey Gee, you had lunch yet?” He asked, holding the door open with one hand. Now that he was with Matt and Gerard had Frank the artist didn’t rush off to have lunch early so often anymore, sometimes even waiting specifically just so he could go with Brian. It made both men happy to have created a comfortable friendship, and Gerard smiled as he shook his head and pushed his paper work away.

“Not yet. You heading there now?” He grinned, getting to his feet and following Brian out of the room when the younger man nodded his head. 

Gerard smiled as he walked with Brian through the department where the animators for the Breakfast Monkey were all hard at work. He smiled and nodded at any who glanced at him as he walked by, trying to show in his expression how grateful he was to everyone for all their hard work before he disappeared out into the corridor with Brian and made their way towards the cafeteria.

“So, how are things with you and Frank now?” Brian asked brightly, looking to Gerard with a grin. He could tell things must be good from how it was putting Matt into a good mood. It was hard for him to have to deal with an emotional Frank, the guy could sulk for the whole of America, but now he and Gerard were once more together his good mood was contagious.

“We’re doing great so far.” Gerard chuckled, confirming Brian’s suspicions. “But then it’s only been like... what? Two days?” Gerard shrugged with a small blush, his mind instantly launching itself into the memory of what had happened so far over those two days. 

“Yeah but... at least things are going well right?” Brian smiled, walking into the cafeteria and heading straight to where the pre-packaged sandwiches were. “I can tell you’re a lot happier, shit Gee, you got a real spring in your step.” He beamed, Gerard smiling shyly back though he blushed as he wondered whether Brian meant literally and it was actually due to the fact he had had two fingers in his ass just a few hours before.

“Thanks Bri.” He tried to brush his compliments aside and move the conversation on, asking how he and Matt were instead to get Brian talking about himself, which of course wasn’t too hard.

“Oh we’re great thanks.” Brian’s whole face lit up as he selected a sandwich, waiting for Gerard to choose one before they both made a beeline for the coffee machine. “We’re both really happy that you and Frank are doing okay again. I’m super stoked he has a couple days off as well, it means we can see more of each other even though I’m here. We were actually gonna meet in my lunch break now but then I figured if we did that I’d probably never make it back to work and I have so many things I need to get done.”

Gerard smiled softly as Brian chuckled to himself, the two men taking their paper coffee cups to the little cashier at the back of the food hall to pay before sitting down at a small table by one of the large windows overlooking the city streets. Gerard unwrapped his sandwich with a smirk, listening to Brian continue to talk about Matt with a clear shine to his eyes and he couldn’t help but laugh after a moment and kick him gently beneath the table.

“Jesus Bri, you sure got it bad don’t you?” He teased, it taking Brian a moment to realise what he was on about but then he smirked and blushed, shrugging as he stirred some sugar into his coffee.

“I guess. But you’re one to talk, you practically had a freakin’ meltdown when you and Frank had your lovers tiff.” Brian hoped fleetingly that he wasn’t stepping over a line or anything. He didn’t know whether Gerard was still too sensitive to talk about what had happened even though it had all been resolved now, but to his relief the older man just smiled and shrugged. 

“It was a bit more than a lovers tiff.” He argued, taking a bite out of his sandwich and sighing as he gazed out the window for a second. Their near breakup felt a million worlds away now. They were doing better than ever and Gerard was actually considering letting Frank top him... this time three days ago he had been facing up to the fact that they would never be together again. “But yeah you’re right.” He added after swallowing his mouthful of food, turning to smirk at Brian again. “I did nearly have a meltdown. But I bet you’d be the same if you and Matt fell out like we did.”

“Oh no doubt about it.” Brian nodded sagely, managing to keep face for all of thirty seconds before he smirked and laughed softly. “Seriously though, I really admire how you didn’t give up on him Gee. Frank is one stubborn little bitch.” He scoffed, Gerard having to nod his agreement at that. “If Matt ever did that to me when I was trying to make things up with him I’d probably end up hunting him down and punching him in the face.” 

“And then having angry sex on the floor, right?” Gerard smirked, Brian looking shocked at his bluntness for a moment before he laughed loudly and nodded, grinning to himself as he gazed out the window for a second.

“Mm... You know, you’re probably pretty damn accurate there.” 

xXx

By the time four hours had passed Frank had to admit he was getting a little worried. 

He felt like he had driven through every street, down every road, searched every back alley in the whole of New Jersey and still no sign of Bert. He began to panic that the blonde had got on a train or something to God only knows where and that he’d never find him. He didn’t think Gerard had any contact details for him, in fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if Bert didn’t even have a cell phone at all. If Frank returned to the apartment without Bert then the odds were stacked against them ever seeing him again.

Frank had stopped only once to get a quick coffee from Starbucks when he felt like if he didn’t get a caffeine hit soon he’d crash the car. Since then he’d simply continued to drive slowly around, his eyes scouring over everything in his line of vision in the desperate hope he would get a sight of some dirty blonde hair.

Gerard wouldn’t be back for another five hours at least, but Frank just felt like time was slipping through his fingers. His stomach growled and twisted uncomfortably and he wondered whether it would make too much difference if he stopped off for something to eat. He considered it for a moment, guessing it wouldn’t be that terrible if he just quickly went through a McDonald’s drive in or something and got some fries. But in the end he decided against it, sighing miserably and frowning to himself, knowing he just had to keep going.

Another two hours dwindled away with Frank doing nothing much different other than flipping radio stations. He was getting tired of driving around and he was beginning to think he was just going to have to call it a day when a flash of blonde caught his eye. It was hardly anything new, he had been spotting (and in some cases, chasing) blonde people all day in the hopes they might be Bert, but this time he knew for sure he had got him.

He was walking down the street with his head bowed and his hands shoved in his pockets. He hadn’t been on the pavement a second ago Frank was sure, which meant he must have just left the police station Frank had been driving past. Not bothering to wonder why this might be Frank quickly pulled over and jumped out the car, jogging down the street to catch up with the scruffy older man.

“Bert! Hey Bert! Wait up!” Frank’s heart leapt in his chest when the man actually turned around with a look of surprise and he saw his face for the first time. He _knew_ it.

Bert looked astonished at being caught and for a second he looked like he was considering turning and making a run for it, but Frank got to him before he could even finish making up his mind and grabbed him by the wrist. “Dude! I’ve been looking for you _all freakin’ day!_ ”

“S – Sorry?” Bert sounded more confused than ever and Frank couldn’t help but scowl at him as he yanked him closer to the wall of the building they were stood outside so that they weren’t in the way of people trying to walk down the street.

“Man, I found your note. Why did you just take off all of a sudden? You know if Gerard finds out about this he’s gonna be crushed.” Frank snapped, though he kept his voice low to keep the conversation just between the two of them. He could feel Bert trembling slightly beneath his grip but he didn’t try to pull away. He simply stared at Frank with wide, anxious blue eyes.

“I’m sorry... I just... I f – felt like I was imposing, I wanted to get out of the way.” He said meekly, gasping and hissing in pain when Frank instinctively squeezed his wrist. When Frank realised what he was doing he relented on his grip, though didn’t let go entirely. Bert had grabbed at his hand in his pain, but he immediately stopped trying to push Frank off once his vice like grip had loosened. 

“F – Frank please, just let me go.” He whimpered, tears in his eyes. “I’m trying to do the right thing, Gerard has his own life to worry about without worrying about mine too.”

“What are you talking about? He wouldn’t have taken you in if he didn’t want to help you.” Frank scoffed, rolling his eyes. “What suddenly made you decide you were imposing huh? You’ve been fine sleeping on his couch so far.” He snapped, his tone venomous though he knew he needed to calm down and be gentle. He was just pissed off that he had had to scour over New Jersey like a stalker for the past six hours.

“Listen, it’s a good job Gerard was in a rush for work this morning and assumed you’d just gone out for coffee, cos’ I know for a _fact_ if he realised you’d made a run for it he’d be devastated.” Frank hissed, his eyes boring into Bert’s. “The man fucking cares about you okay? He wants to help you, but he can’t do that when you make us panic like this!” 

“I’m sorry...” Bert mewled, not really knowing what else to say. “I just... I could hear you guys last night and I...” Bert trailed, his cheeks flaming red as he turned his face away and tried to yank out of Frank’s grip. “Let me go please.” He said coolly, Frank scowling and shaking his head, pulling him closer.

“So what if you heard us? I’m sorry if that bothered you, but no offence Bert we were making up and we shouldn’t have had to feel like we had to be quiet just because you were there.” 

“I know that!” Bert scoffed, blushing even more and sighing as he stopped trying to tug away and instead just stared down at his feet. He didn’t know what to say or do to make Frank let him go, and he certainly wasn’t about to tell Frank that he was jealous of his and Gerard’s relationship. The guy would probably get the wrong idea and assume he wanted Gerard back, and that wasn’t exactly the case... He was happy for Gerard, he just... wanted someone to love him the way Frank and Gerard loved each other. 

“Look, just let me go. I’m sorry if I made you panic, but I did leave a note.” He sighed after a moment, wincing when Frank simply tightened his grip again.

“Don’t you get it Bert? I have not just spent the last six hours hunting your ass down just to let you go again. You’re coming back with me to Gerard’s apartment and we’re gonna talk things through properly okay? Preferably before he gets home and finds out about all this.” Frank’s voice was sharp and demanding, but beneath it Bert could sense a sort of care and he couldn’t help but sigh and swallow the lump in his throat with a small nod.

“Alright... Alright, I’ll come back. But just to talk.” He said in what he hoped was a firm way, but he just sounded weak even to his own ears. 

Frank sighed and nodded, relenting his hold and tugging Bert gently towards his car. “Alright... Good.” He nodded, feeling a little bad for getting angry now as he led Bert back to his car, but he didn’t think he could really be blamed for losing his temper. Bert was just grating on him, as he would anyone given the circumstances. Running around after his current boyfriends exes was not the way Frank wanted to spend his days off.

As they drove back to the apartment Bert sat with his body angled towards the car door, practically leaning his face against the window. He looked pale and drawn, and for the first time Frank noticed how sick he really looked. He began to feel worried that he had gone out and taken some drugs... Maybe that was why he had been in the police station.

“Bert...” He said slowly, glancing at him quickly as he drove down the road. “Where did you go when you left?” He asked in what he hoped was a casual and disinterested tone. He didn’t want to seem like he was prying, and he wanted to give Bert a chance to tell the truth before accusing him of anything. 

For a long while Bert was silent, just staring out the window and sighing as he thought over his answer. For a moment he considered lying, but then he couldn’t see how lying would help. In the end he shrugged, squeezing his eyes shut and gathering his thoughts before he spoke.

“I went to the train station... I just got on the first train there, I was gonna let it take me wherever.” Bert grew thoughtful, sighing and biting his lip. “The further away the better...” He whispered, Frank looking at him worriedly. 

“So what happened?” He asked softly, feeling his anger disappear in a flood of concern for this dirty, scruffy man who had almost destroyed his and Gerard’s relationship. 

“I didn’t have any money.” Bert shrugged, fiddling with the handle of the bag he had taken from Gerard’s apartment, still full of food and clothes. “I was gonna take some from Gerard before I left but in the end I didn’t even look. I couldn’t do that... I didn’t know when I would be able to send him the money back, and I didn’t want to leave with him thinking that I stole from him.” Bert blushed at the thought, sighing as he laid his head against the cool glass of the window. 

“When I got to the station I just hopped on the train without a ticket and no one stopped me. It’s pretty easy if you hide in the toilet when the conductor comes down... But this time he saw me going in and waited for me to come out. I couldn’t stay in there the whole journey; he started banging the door demanding I come out. There was nothing I could do, I figured he’d at least just drop me off at the next stop and even if I had to see the police it would be somewhere other than here.” Bert looked at Frank then, his face impossible to read and Frank felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze. 

“In the end though I was forced to come back here, apparently its new regulation, you get taken back to the last stop and then the police there deal with you. I had to spend the night in the station – They were just gonna fine me, but I told them I had no money and that I was homeless, so they put me in a cell.” Bert wrinkled his nose up with a scowl, clearly not happy with what had happened. “I was gonna just try again when they let me go, but you found me instead.”

“Oh...” Frank didn’t know what else to say other than that. He bit his lip and considered everything Bert had said, sighing to himself. “And what if you’d been caught again?” He asked eventually, looking at Bert as he drove into the car park outside Gerard’s apartment. “They wouldn’t have let you get away with just one night in the cells then.”

“I know that.” Bert scoffed, pouting a little to himself. “But I figured either way I’d be fine, I mean, if I got caught then I’d be in prison where no one could get me. And if I didn’t get caught I’d be far away from here... where no one could get me...” Bert ‘s voice grew soft as he trailed off, going to get out of the car when it stopped but to his surprise Frank hit the locks, securing them inside. 

“Frank?” Bert looked at the porn star with wide, surprised eyes, biting his lip as Frank turned off the ignition and looked at him.

“When you say no one, you mean Jeph don’t you?” He asked calmly, Bert blushing at his words though he nodded slowly. He wasn’t surprised that Gerard had told him about Jeph, though he wished he hadn’t. “Is he still looking for you?”

“I don’t know.” Bert sighed, running a hand through his greasy hair and looking down at his knees for a moment. “I would guess he is... But if he hasn’t found me so far then I don’t think he will. He’d have no way of knowing that I’d be here. If he did then I wouldn’t have come here, I wouldn’t ever put Gerard at risk like that.” 

“Do you love him still?” Frank asked softly, Bert’s blush intensifying and he felt a lump rise in his throat. How was it that Frank would know how to ask these questions? He avoided his gaze and hunched over his knees slightly, as if trying to curl inside himself. 

“I... I know I shouldn’t.” He finally whispered, tears brimming in his eyes and he ached to get a hit of something. Anything. Even a damn cigarette would do. “But I just... Despite everything he’s done to me, I’ve never felt this way for anyone else. But I... I see you and Gerard together and I know I want that kind of love, and I know I’ll never get if from Jeph but I... I still want to be with him.” 

“Wait.” Frank frowned, shaking his head in slight confusion. “Do you mean that you still love Jeph, or Gerard?” 

“Jeph obviously.” Bert looked at Frank with raised eyebrows, looking confused himself. “Why would I still be in love with Gerard?” He asked, frowning slightly. He adored Gerard, but if he still loved him then he would never have left him in the first place. Frank blushed as he realised this and couldn’t help but relax slightly. 

“Oh. I... I was asking if you still loved Gee.” He breathed, Bert looking stunned and he opened his mouth to protest but Frank cut him off. “Look, I think you’re a total idiot if you still love Jeph but even I know that love doesn’t work the way we want it to.” He sighed, shrugging and hesitating a moment before he reached out to squeeze Bert’s shoulder. “But either way, you can’t run off like this again Bert. If not for your sake, then for Gerard’s. He’s trying to help you, and if you leave now you’ll just destroy him like you did when you left him before.” 

Bert’s heart missed a beat, understanding that Frank meant when he and Gerard had broke up and he felt a stab of guilt in his chest. He had never imagined his leaving would affect Gerard like it had, but he supposed back then he wouldn’t have cared. He had changed a lot through the years, beaten and broken down by Jeph. He supposed he ought to be grateful in a way for his abusive nature, without it he wouldn’t have started to care. He sighed at the thought, biting his lip and considering apologising for hurting Gerard, but then he knew apologising to Frank wouldn’t change anything. He needed to apologise to Gerard.

“I just... I was just trying to help.” He finally sighed, Frank shaking his head and rolling his eyes though he squeezed his shoulder comfortingly again.

“Well it wouldn’t have helped. It would have made everything a million times worse.” He said simply, Bert sighing and shaking his head sadly though he didn’t say anything. “Gerard wants to help you Bert... Hell, _I_ I want to help you.” Frank scoffed, rolling his eyes again though he smiled slightly. “Just promise me you won’t take off again without at least talking to us first, alright?” 

Bert looked at Frank suspiciously, wondering if the shorter man was just lying to him. But when he looked into his eyes he could see nothing but sincerity and he felt his body shiver as he smiled. It felt strange to have two people caring for him, stranger still that one of them hadn’t even known him for that long. He couldn’t understand why Frank would want to help, but he felt a flood of emotion at the prospect and he nodded shakily, moving to touch Frank’s hand still on his shoulder and squeezing gently.

“Alright.” He whispered, nodding his head. “I promise.”


	20. Chapter twenty

Frank and Bert were quiet as they sat side by side on the couch, both holding a mug of coffee whilst they gazed at the TV. Some sort of old western was playing, but neither man was focusing on it. 

Since getting back into the apartment the two men had continued to talk, at first about Bert’s leaving, but then moving onto different topics until they were simply getting to know each other. The more Bert talked the more Frank warmed to him, realising that the man before him wasn’t the same person who had once dated Gerard and then broke his heart. Even Bert knew he wasn’t that man anymore, and that helped Frank to lose some of his hostility. 

Frank had told Bert a bit about himself too, and for the most part they actually started to get along. They ended up passing the final few hours before Gerard was due home just laughing and chatting together, but now that the artist was due back any minute they had fallen silent again and were just pretending to be concentrating on the movie that was playing.

Frank felt like he could properly understand now why Gerard wanted to help Bert. He supposed deep down he had resented that, not understanding why Gerard would want to help a guy who had hurt him so much... but Gerard wasn’t the kind to hold grudges, especially if the person the grudge was against was different; and Frank could see now Bert really was different. It didn’t excuse the fact that he had hurt Gerard, but Frank supposed it was seven years ago and that really ought to be enough time to feel comfortable enough to give the guy a second chance.

Frank also felt a lot better knowing that Bert wasn’t trying to get Gerard back. He couldn’t understand why he would still be in love with Jeph... but just as long as he wasn’t still in love with Gerard then Frank was happy.   
Bert himself was feeling better too. He hadn’t really wanted to come back to the apartment, but now he was here he supposed it was better than sleeping on the streets. He was struggling to get back on his feet, and his stomach would twist guiltily every time he thought about how long it was going to take him to find a job. He still felt some of his withdrawal symptoms too, but he hadn’t touched a single drug since he had been living with Gerard. He just couldn’t let the guy down like that.

Frank sighed and glanced at the time, biting his lip and wondering if Gerard was close. He and Bert had agreed that they wouldn’t let the older man know about Bert’s leaving. It would just upset him and cause too many problems, it was better if he was just allowed to believe that everything was fine. As far as Frank was concerned everything _was_ fine. He had brought Bert back and he had promised not to leave again and everything was sorted; there was nothing to worry about.

Both Frank and Bert looked up with eager smiles when they heard footsteps approaching the door, barely a second passing before Gerard was letting himself in with a cheery ‘hey guys!’. 

Frank was on his feet immediately, rushing over to his lover to encase him in his arms and press a camp kiss to his lips. He was so happy to see him, especially looking so chirpy. Part of Frank had been worried that after what had happened in the shower Gerard would be a bit shaken. He knew they definitely need to talk about what had happened, Frank wasn’t sure whether they had overstepped a line or not and he wanted to confirm everything, but in that moment all he wanted was to kiss Gerard over and over.

“Hey gorgeous! Did you have a good day at work?” He beamed, still hanging off the artist who chuckled and nodded, his cheeks a little pink from Frank’s enthusiastic greeting. He wished he could have this every day... 

“It was fine.” He smiled in response to Frank’s question, gently nudging him away so he could remove his jacket and hang it up. “Did you guys have a good day?” He asked casually, throwing a warm smile at Bert so that he didn’t feel too left out. The blonde smiled softly in return, and Gerard noted that he was looking strangely relaxed. More relaxed than he had seen him before. 

“We had a great day.” He answered before Frank could open his mouth. “Frank and I have been getting to know each other.” He smiled, blushing a little as he smiled hopefully at Frank, hoping he was saying what the porn star wanted him to. Frank flashed him a grin, nodding his head as Gerard looked curiously between them, smiling uncertainly. 

“Really?” He chuckled, finding that hard to believe. He knew Frank wasn’t too happy about Bert being here still, and he wasn’t really the type to try and get to know anyone if he had already decided he didn’t like them. Maybe he was learning to be less stubborn after their almost break up. “That’s great guys.”

“Isn’t it?” Frank beamed, still hovering close to Gerard, clearly wanting to just dive on him again though he was trying to contain himself. “We’ve been getting along great... But I couldn’t wait for you to get home.” He sighed, Gerard glancing at him and smirking at the way he was practically shaking. 

“Well me too honey... I couldn’t wait to see you.” He smiled, wandering to the kitchen just to torture Frank a little more before he turned and laughed. “Oh come here.” He smirked, opening his arms and gasping as Frank shot forward, flinging his arms around him and giving a weird little squeak of delight as he buried his face into Gerard’s neck. 

“Mmm... I love you...” He whispered, his heart hammering. He wasn’t sure why he was suddenly so happy to see Gerard, but he didn’t want to question it. He just wanted to hold their bodies together and soak in his warmth for a moment, just breathing in his scent and nuzzling his lips softly against his neck.

Gerard sighed and smiled to himself, shaking his head fondly as he closed his eyes. He was a little surprised over Frank’s eagerness to be held by him but he wasn’t complaining. He allowed himself to just get lost with him for a moment, wrapped up in each other and forgetting everything else as they turned their heads to meet in quick, tender kisses between soft whispers and smiles. 

Back in the living room Bert sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking away from the couple in the kitchen and just focusing on the TV screen again. They really were a gorgeous couple... He and Jeph had never been like that. He wondered if he would ever end up in a relationship that loving and felt his heart miss a beat at the thought. He wanted nothing more than that... he had spent too many years allowing himself to get hurt or hurting others... He just wanted to be in love now. Real love, where no one had to get beaten up.

When Frank and Gerard finally managed to tear themselves away from each other Frank offered to cook for everyone and got busy grabbing pots and pans from out of the cupboards. 

“Why don’t you go shower and make yourself comfortable Gee, you’ve been working all day.” He grinned when Gerard moved to help him. He turned and gently pecked his lips before nudging him towards the kitchen doorway. “Go on – Bert do you wanna give me a hand?” 

Bert looked over at Frank in surprise, blushing and smiling as he hesitated for just a moment before he nodded. “I... Yeah, sure.” He beamed, happy to get involved and he got up eagerly to join Frank in the kitchen as Gerard chuckled and went to the bathroom to wash and change.

xXx

Gerard sighed against Frank’s lips and smiled softly, his hands tangled in his hair as they rolled about the bed together. They had sat up talking to Bert all evening, chatting and laughing and just feeling like they were three friends hanging out. It had been such a relief for Gerard to have the tension gone between them all and when Bert had began to drift asleep it had been a shock to find that it was so late. 

Frank and Gerard had disappeared to bed together soon after, and had waited long enough for Bert to be deep asleep before they started to get lost in their passionate kisses. Both of them seemed to have made an unspoken decision to be more caring this time to the fact that Bert was in ear shot, and even though he was sleeping they still tried to be as quiet as they could as their hips rocked and their tongues tangled.

They had yet to discuss what had happened in the shower but Frank could sense they were going to have to soon. Although they were both hard in their jeans and were eagerly rubbing against one another neither were as relaxed as they could have been. It was clear it was playing on both of their minds, and eventually Frank sighed as he understood he was just going to have to bring it up first.

“Gee... Mmph... Babe, listen...” He sighed, forcing his hips to stop moving and his cock twitched painfully in his jeans at the lack of friction. He winced as he leant up on his elbows, lying atop Gerard. He considered moving, but when he went to Gerard’s soft hands touched his hips, silently asking him to stay.

“What’s up?” He asked softly, his eyes lust hazed but he was still thinking clearly. Lying beneath Frank like this made him feel warm and safe. All he could see was Frank. All he could _feel_ was Frank, and strangely it made him feel less intimidated than he would if he was on top or if they were lying on their sides. He could tell Frank was about to bring up the issue with bottoming, but for the first time that didn’t fill Gerard with dread and he focused on staying relaxed as he waited for Frank to talk. 

“I...” Frank hesitated, not sure what to say. He felt calm though... seeing Gerard so relaxed was helping him stay relaxed too. “About the shower this morning I... What happened I just... Wanted to check you’re okay I guess.” He sighed, smiling a little when Gerard grinned at him with an almost playful twinkle in his eyes. 

“Just, I know we both kind of got caught up in the heat of the moment and I don’t want you to think that I was trying to push you into doing that or anything cos I –”

“Frank its fine.” Gerard chuckled, cutting his younger lover off and smiling as he leant up to peck his lips. He felt even more relaxed after hearing Frank say that. Although he had already known Frank wasn’t trying to force him into bottoming it still felt good hearing him say it and helped confirmed that the decision he had made at work that day was still the right one. 

He was fed up of being a twenty six year old loser who was scared of anal sex. It was ridiculous. He was with the man of his dreams – the man he had wanted to be with for years. He had been more than prepared to let Frank top him when it had been to get him back and so he should be prepared to let him top him now. He trusted him... He _loved_ him and he knew if it was all too much then they would simply stop and there would be no reason to feel embarrassed. Frank knew how scared he was and if it turned out he couldn’t go through with it he was sure the porn star wouldn’t hold it against him. There was nothing to be afraid of.

“Look I... I’ve been thinking a lot today about what happened in the shower and stuff.” Gerard blushed at the admission, avoiding Frank’s gaze for a moment as he took a deep breath. He slowly moved his eyes to meet Frank’s again, biting his lip and feeling nerves start to tingle inside him. “I... I think... Well I _know_ I... Frankie I want to try bottoming.”

Frank’s eyes widened and he stared at Gerard as if he had gone crazy, a shudder running through his body and his cock throbbed at the thought. He swallowed thickly and struggled to keep a hand on his thoughts, trying to think rationally and not start imagining how incredible it would feel to get to fuck Gerard. 

“I... W – Wow... I... Gerard you... Are you sure?” He breathed, knowing that the older man was thinking clearly and that he should trust that he had thought about this enough to make this decision. As much as Frank wanted to top him he didn’t want to do anything that would upset or hurt Gerard, and he wasn’t sure whether this was the right time. 

“Gee you know I don’t mind bottoming.”

“I know.” Gerard nodded, blushing and smiling hopefully at Frank. “But I... I really wanna try.” He whispered, knowing that he was asking a lot. Even though he was nervous and this was something he had always been afraid to do, he also knew it was asking a lot of Frank because it meant the porn star had to forget about all the times Gerard had refused and trust him enough to know that this was what he wanted. 

“Please Frankie I... I can’t promise that I won’t ask you to stop or anything. But I really want to try. I love you so much and I... I just... Want to try.” Gerard didn’t know what else to say and he sighed as he bucked his hips up so that Frank could feel his erection still straining in his jeans. “Please baby...”

“Gerard...” Frank groaned, his cock pulsing as it rubbed against Gerard’s and his eyelids fluttered for a moment. He was struggling to come up with a reason why they shouldn’t do this and so he simply sighed and nodded. If Gerard was sure then Frank wouldn’t deny him this. “If you’re sure...”

“I am sure.” Gerard promised, leaning up to kiss Frank softly, smiling against his lips. “I’ve never been surer about anything.” He whispered, Frank sighing as he nodded and smiled a little shakily. 

“Alright... Alright we’ll try.” He nodded, sinking down over Gerard and kissing him tenderly but deeply. The conversation was clearly closed and Gerard smiled, relaxing under Frank’s touch and stroking his fingers through his hair again as they kissed long and slow. 

Frank refused to let the kisses heat up for a long moment, just making sure he was fully composed and aware of what was going on. He wouldn’t relax until this whole thing was over and he knew Gerard was okay... He needed to be the one in control now, he needed to make sure that he was constantly assessing the situation so that the instant Gerard had any doubts they could stop.

Gerard could sense that Frank was tense, and he ran his hands gently over his back and shoulders in an attempt to soothe him. He had expected to feel more nervous than he did, but right then all he cared about was calming Frank down rather than relaxing himself. He knew what he wanted... He was going to do this. He was going to prove to Frank that he trusted him more than he had ever trusted anyone in his whole life. He was going to prove that he loved him and he wasn’t going to let his fear get the best of him.

“Mmm... Frankie come on...” He groaned, tugging Frank gently closer and spreading his legs so that their crotches lined up perfectly. “Don’t go easy on me...” He purred as temptingly as he could, leaning up to try and kiss Frank with more heat but the porn star only shook his head, smirking a little as he continued to simply peck over Gerard’s lips. 

“Hey... I’m setting the pace this time.” He scolded playfully, Gerard whining though he didn’t resist. He allowed Frank to keep up his light kisses, taking his time before he finally began to kiss Gerard with more definition. By the time he did Gerard was so eager for it that the meeting of their tongues and the clashing of their teeth sent shockwaves down his spine. His cock throbbed and he bucked his hips up eagerly, tangling his hands into Frank’s hair and tugging gently as he moaned into his mouth.

“Frankie... Please...” He sighed, his voice so soft and seductive that Frank’s head span dizzyingly fast. Gerard’s eagerness wasn’t making it any easier for the younger man to keep composed and he sighed as he pressed tighter to his lover, rocking their hips and indulging in heated kisses for a moment.

Gerard was still relaxed when Frank began to kiss down the side of his neck, sucking and nipping on the milky skin and trailing his tongue down the length of it. His hands had begun to drift down his torso, his fingertips rolling round pink nipples and making Gerard’s breathing grow heavy. 

Frank gazed at the older man through his lashes as he indulged in his body. He loved making Gerard feel good and he prayed he’d be able to make him feel amazing when he took him. He knew he had enough experience to make this as good for Gerard as possible and he concentrated hard on remembering all the things he had learnt. He never took his mouth off Gerard’s skin as he worked his way ever so slowly down, making sure to take his time and drag it out as long as possible.

Gerard sighed and huffed impatiently as he arched his back slightly. As nice as it felt for Frank to be trailing his kisses down his body it just wasn’t enough and he wanted _more_. He tried not to be impatient and kept his mouth shut, merely sighing and purring at what felt good, savouring each second and willing the ache in his erection to go away. He knew that Frank would take care of him and his climax would be granted eventually... but they had a long way to go yet.

Frank closed his eyes once he had finished sucking each nipple in turn, rolling one rosy nub then the other between his teeth before he continued his way down. He paid extra attention to Gerard’s flat stomach, kissing and licking from one side to the other whilst his hands slowly worked on his belt and jeans. Once they were open he left them for a while, just enjoying the sight of the bulge in Gerard’s underwear straining past the fly of his jeans before he closed his eyes again and kissed down past his midriff.

By now Gerard was almost crazy with need, his fingers splayed out against the bed sheets as his whole body thrummed with desire. He forced himself to keep quiet and just wait to see what Frank would do, but when the younger man started to suck against his erection through the fabric of his boxers without pulling his jeans down a single inch it just became too much for him. 

“F – Fuck... Frankie _please_... Please baby I... Fuck I need you...” He whimpered, his voice a husky whisper as he struggled not to be too loud. A dark patch was spreading on his underwear where Frank’s saliva was saturating it, his tongue pressing against the side of his shaft through the fabric. He opened his eyes to look up at Gerard, but it was clear from his expression he wasn’t going to be rushed by anything the older man said. 

“Please?” Gerard whimpered just for good measure, sighing and tipping his head back when Frank simply closed his eyes again, denying his wishes and simply continuing to tease him until he felt like he could die if something didn’t happen soon.

When Frank felt like he had been teased enough he finally dragged his jeans down and off his legs, tossing them to the floor before he went back to his maddening teasing through the fabric of his underwear. One hand had moved away from massaging his thighs though to root around in the bedside drawer, Gerard hurrying to help him locate the condoms and lube, hoping their retrieval would speed things along a bit.

“Mm... I have to say Gee, you are eager.” Frank purred softly, not sure how to feel about that as he finally started to drag Gerard’s briefs down his legs. “Are you sure you’ve thought this through properly?”

“Yes!” Gerard groaned, lifting his hips to help get his underwear off quicker, kicking it away once it was by his ankles. “God yes, Frank I’ve thought about it and I want this.” He insisted, ignoring his nerves for now in place of focusing on his desperate need. “Please just trust me...” He whimpered, his cock hot red and weeping pre cum onto his stomach as Frank popped open the lube.

“Shh... Alright.” Frank smirked, his heart hammering erratically in his chest. Despite his best efforts to stay carefully composed his body was responding just as eagerly as Gerard’s. He had fantasised about doing this for what felt like forever and he just had to strip himself of his own clothes to relieve the pressure on his cock which sprang free the instant his jeans were part way down his thighs.

Gerard leant up on his elbows and bit his lip, his mouth watering at the sight of Frank naked before him. His colourfully inked skin was like a work of art and Gerard drank it in, but soon enough his eyes were drawn to his erection standing proud between his legs. No matter how many times Gerard had seen him naked on screen it didn’t add up to anything like seeing him in real life. He could practically feel the heat radiating off him and he ached to take him in his mouth and taste him; but that would have to wait for another time when there wasn’t more pressing matters at hand.

“Frankie, I love you.” He purred huskily, his voice just oozing sex and Frank’s cock twitched at the sound, Gerard’s doing the same almost instantly after, as if in sympathy. Frank was almost alarmed by how in tune their bodies were, but it made him tingle pleasantly inside. He took it as proof of their closeness and it helped him relax a little.

“I love you too Gee...” He whispered, popping open the lube and squeezing some of the clear gel onto his fingers. “I love you so much... I’m gonna take real good care of you.” He promised quietly, leaning down to kiss the older man lovingly for a moment as he slicked up his fingers until they were completely coated in the lube.   
“Mm... I know... Mmm... I know you will...” Gerard sighed, wrapping his arms around Frank’s shoulders and spreading his legs wider, tilting his hips up for him. Frank paused to move a pillow beneath Gerard’s hips to make things easier on him before he began to run two fingers up and down between the soft cheeks of his ass, Gerard shivering a little at the sensation.

“If you want to stop –”

“I’ll tell you.” Gerard nodded, his voice calm and Frank sighed with a soft smile, nodding quietly. He was stunned by how relaxed Gerard was and he kissed him gently once more before he began to focus on circling just one fingertip around his puckered entrance. At this Gerard began to tense, but Frank could sense him working hard to try and relax. It only served to make him tense further, but he appreciated that the older man was trying. 

“Gee... Don’t think about it okay...” Frank whispered, not wanting Gerard to get too involved with what was happening and then getting too afraid. The shower had worked because he had been lost in the heat of the moment, but this time wasn’t the same. “Think about me instead... Think about how good I’m gonna make you feel...” He whispered, keeping his rubbing slow as Gerard’s eyelids fluttered and he gazed at him uncertainly. 

“I... I know you will...”

“No no...” Frank purred, kissing delicately over his lips, pulling back teasingly each time so Gerard had to chase him for his kisses. “Really _think_ about it...” He breathed, keeping their lips close so that he was completely intoxicating Gerard, pushing into his personal space and giving him no choice but to listen and be consumed by him. Taking over his thoughts so he was letting the picture be painted in his head and not getting locked into the fear of the fingers against his ass instead.  
“Think about how I’m gonna feel Gee... When I’m so close to you... closer than anyone’s ever been...” Frank purred, his fingers rubbing slower and slower until they were just there in the background, Gerard barely noticing them. “It’s gonna be so hot Gee... _So_ hot... and slick... and sticky... You’re gonna feel exactly how crazy you make me...” Frank groaned, losing himself in the mental image too despite himself though he was still aware that Gerard’s muscles were starting to relax against his fingers, growing pliant against them. “You’re gonna feel every... single... pulse of me Gerard... Gonna feel my cock _throb_ inside you... You’ll feel just how... Nngh... Just how good you make me feel...” 

“Oh God...” Gerard groaned, his cheeks burning red as he clutched tighter at Frank’s back. He had heard him talk dirty in his porn videos before but it was nothing like this. This was much more erotic... drawn and lusty rather than gritty and dirty. It was making long, slow throbs run through his cock, like a constant gentle tugging that made his whole body ache. He wanted so desperately to feel all that Frank promised, and he released a long sigh of delight when he felt two fingers sinking inside him with ease.

“O – Oh... Ooh... You... How do you do that?” He groaned breathlessly, his head rolling back as he arched his hips up. Frank’s fingers felt much better now than they had in the shower, now that they were slick with the lube, sliding wetly inside him rather than the dry drag he had experienced in the shower. He couldn’t believe Frank had managed to do this again... After all the years Gerard had never been able to get anywhere and then this man... this incredible person had managed to just break down those walls.

“Mm... Do what Gee?” Frank purred, keeping his fingers deep inside his lover and thrusting them only ever so slightly to keep the discomfort down as low as he could. Gerard was making such beautiful, needy keening noises that Frank felt like he could explode from the need to be inside him. But he kept slow, paying attention to Gerard’s body and making sure he never moved too fast. 

“D – Do... Do _that_...” Gerard groaned, bucking his hips slightly and pushing them down, wanting more already but Frank always stayed two steps behind. Making sure that whenever he moved up a gear Gerard was more than ready. “M – Make this feel so g – good... when... when for so long I just... Couldn’t even –”

“Shh...” Frank hushed him gently, smiling as he kissed him slowly for a moment. “Mm... Forget the past okay? It’s just this moment now... It’s nothing to do with what I do... It’s because _you_ are ready Gee. That’s all...” He whispered, Gerard not entirely convinced by that though it did help him relax more.

Maybe Frank was right... Maybe he had just needed to wait until he was ready. And he was so grateful that that time was now, when he was with the man of his dreams.

Frank smiled as he and Gerard stopped talking and simply kissed as he prepped him, adding a third finger when the time was right but keeping the thrusting slow and deep. He scissored his fingers eventually, and by then Gerard’s muscles were so relaxed he opened up without any difficulty. The room was full of the soft noise of their kissing and the wet slide of Frank’s fingers, Gerard even getting a thorough prostate massage that had him leaking copious amounts of cum and biting on his knuckles to stop from moaning too loudly before Frank finally pulled his fingers away.

“M – Mmm...” Gerard was quivering by then, his ass clenching slowly and rhythmically as he twitched slightly. His whole body was on fire and he felt on the brink of climax as he watched Frank roll on the condom and spread lube over his cock through hazy eyes. Frank too was starting to feel the strain of sustaining an erection for so long. He was desperate to cum and he half wished he had a cock ring or something so he would be able to last longer once he was inside Gerard. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold out but he wanted Gerard to cum first.

“Alright?” He breathed, looking at Gerard with eyes glossy from lust. “We’re gonna do this with you on top okay?” He said gently, moving to lie on his back as Gerard’s eyes widened and he looked at him in alarm.

“W – What? Why?” He whimpered, not sure he would be able to do that. He rolled onto his front and shook his head, looking at Frank with pleading eyes. “I want you on top Frankie... I want you to be in control.”

“I will be baby.” Frank purred, gently touching Gerard’s cheek. “And we will do this missionary one day... But for your first time you need a good angle to keep the pain low... So it’s either on top or from behind, and Gee I really wanna be able to see you through this.” 

Gerard blushed and bit his lip, feeling torn. He wanted to see Frank’s face too, and he definitely wanted as little pain as possible but he still wasn’t sure he could ride Frank. He had never done anything like that, it seemed so... alien. 

“I’ll guide you through it Gee.” Frank whispered tenderly, starting to pull Gerard gently to settle over him. The artist moved reluctantly, positioning himself on his knees, one each side of Frank’s hips. He could feel his erection pressing slickly against the curve of his ass and he looked nervously down at Frank. 

“I don’t know what to do...”

“It’s okay.” Frank cooed soothingly, stroking his hands over Gerard’s thighs. “I struggled my first time too, but I promise it’ll feel natural...” He whispered, moving his hands to Gerard’s hips and gently lifting him until Gerard took the hint and rose himself up. “I’ll talk you through it every step of the way...” He whispered, Gerard nodding as he clamped his teeth hard over is lower lip. “And this way you can control the pace...”

“I... O – Okay...” Gerard whispered, his heart racing as he rose himself as high as he could and Frank moved one hand to wrap around the base of his erection and hold it steady.

“Okay... Now, just hold yourself open with one hand like this...” Frank took one of Gerard’s hands and moved it to his ass. Gerard blushed but obediently pulled the cheek to spread himself open as much as he could. He felt Frank moving the tip of his erection against the cleft of his ass, waiting until he found his hole and then he nudged up until he was fixed firmly in place though he didn’t try to push in.

“Alright?” He whispered, Gerard nodding silently, eyes squeezed shut. “Okay... Just brace yourself with your other hand-“ Gerard laid his hand flat on Frank’s chest, anchoring himself to him. “That’s it.” Frank praised, watching his face carefully. “Then when you’re ready, start pushing down.”

Gerard felt like his heart was going to explode it was thumping so fast, his breath coming hard and rapid. He waited for a long moment to get a hold of himself, composing as much as he could and reminding himself how good the fingers had felt. He wanted to feel that good again, and as much as being on top was intimidating him, he had to do this... 

After what felt like forever Gerard finally began to push himself down, tilting his hips until he had a good angle and Frank wasn’t in too much danger of slipping out of place. The younger man was still holding his erection with one hand, keeping it lined up as he felt Gerard pressing against him. The pressure began to build for both of them, Gerard moving slowly but growing frustrated the longer it took to feel Frank breach him. He had tensed again, but Frank whispered soothing words to him, stroking his hip with his free hand and helping him relax enough for the very tip to nudge inside.

“That’s it... It’s okay... Just keep breathing...” Frank purred, Gerard focusing on his gorgeous voice and pushing down with a little more force. As Frank began to edge inside he pushed his own hips up very slightly, just adding that tiny bit more pressure that was needed for the head to slide inside the older man and pop past the ring of muscle. As soon as it had he stopped his own hips, Gerard halting too with a low hiss.

“F – Fuck...” Gerard could feel the stretch, his sphincter burning already though he knew Frank was barely an inch inside him. He felt panic start to flood him. If it hurt now how much worse was it going to get? Was he really ready for this? He wasn’t so sure anymore. 

“Gerard... Gerard open your eyes...” Frank whispered softly, his voice gentle but firm and Gerard hesitated a moment before doing as he was told. As soon as he met Frank’s warm gaze he realised he was shaking violently and he blushed. 

“Frankie, I’m sorry I –”

“Don’t apologise.” Frank cut him off, his hand still gently stroking his hip. “You’re doing fine... You’re doing so good Gee, I mean it.” He smiled, his eyes genuine and Gerard couldn’t help but smile shakily back. “You’ve got this all under control okay? Don’t forget this is all you sugar... the second you wanna pull off you do it. You can stop any minute, you know that.”

“I know...” Gerard mewled. He didn’t need the reminder, he knew he could stop... He just didn’t want to. He had come this far, he was determined to keep going until it was unbearable.

“I... I got this...” He mumbled uncertainly, starting to push down again. This time Frank kept perfectly still, holding his erection steady until enough had sank into Gerard and then both hands were on the older man’s hips, steadying him and even slowing him down when he grew too hasty. 

“Slow...” He whispered gently, Gerard’s eyes tight shut and his lip growing pale from how hard he was biting it. He nodded tensely, his hand scratching slightly at Frank’s chest. With each agonising inch that pushed into him the burn grew hotter. It hurt... There was no way past that. It hurt so much he felt like he was tearing, and yet somehow it still didn’t hurt as much he had expected. That worried him more, wondering when it would become too much, but he still kept going.

It felt like no matter how hard he pushed down Frank always entered him painfully slow, there were points even when he would shift trying to get a better angle to alleviate some of the pain and the younger man would slip out slightly. It felt like with each step forward they took two steps back and Gerard slowly grew more frustrated. Once Frank was halfway in he was beginning to grow tense again, tears building behind his eyelids.

“Gerard...” Frank whispered, his voice sounding a million miles away and it took Gerard a long moment to open his eyes and face him. Once he did he felt like he was landing back in the room after floating away and his ass clenched for a moment before relaxing again. The burn was still tearing through him, but it was easier somehow when he was looking at Frank.

“Gerard, listen –”

“I don’t wanna stop.” Gerard whispered immediately, knowing that was what Frank was going to suggest. They had got this far, he wanted to continue.

“I wasn’t going to tell you to.” Frank whispered, smiling gently at Gerard and moving one hand to take the hand still spreading him open and move it to join the other on his chest. “I just wanna tell you to keep looking at me okay? Don’t close your eyes.” He sighed, Gerard looking at him in surprise though he nodded.

“O – Okay...” He sighed, waiting a moment before began to sink down again, the muscles in his legs screaming from having to hold him up so long. 

“Gee...” Frank purred as Gerard moved, his hands once again guiding his hips. “I got you okay? I got you and I’m not gonna let it hurt too bad...” He purred, Gerard holding his gaze and nodding slowly. “I can feel you all around me babe, I can feel you opening up... You’re doing so good... Doing amazing... Mhmm... You’re not tensing too much at all alright? I know it hurts... It hurts for me too... But you’re doing great... ah... You’re doing so, so well..”

“Frank...” Gerard blushed, even smiling a little and it was only when he felt Frank’s hips pressing against the base of his ass that he suddenly realised he was all the way in. Gerard’s eyes widened in surprise and Frank smirked gently at him, squeezing his hips. 

“What’d I tell you?” He whispered playfully, Gerard chuckling quietly and quivering as he held steady. He was aching and burning and his body felt like it had gone into shock and yet he had done it... Frank was all the way in, and it hadn’t hurt anywhere near as much as he had expected and he was even still almost completely fully erect. He thought even Frank was shocked at that and for a moment the two men could only giggle breathlessly and share stupid grins.

“God I love you...” Gerard groaned, his fingers clenching and unclenching over Frank’s chest as he slowly began to rise and lower himself over his erection. “Fuck... Love you so much...”

“A – Ah, you too Gee...” Frank gasped, his mind quickly unravelling now that Gerard was starting to ride him. He was so hot and tight, even through the condom Frank could feel every clench of his inner channel and it was sending him crazy already. He had never taken a man’s virginity before and it felt incredible. He had never felt so close to Gerard, and knowing that he had enough trust in him for this was overwhelming. He wanted to tell him over and over how amazing he was, but words failed him, all he could do was moan as quietly as he could as Gerard gained confidence and with it speed.

“Oh God...” Gerard groaned, moving quicker over Frank though still slowly. The ache in his ass was still present, but it was now mingling in with a dull pleasure. More than anything though the fact that he and Frank had managed to do this at all just made him feel incredible and he whispered soft words of delight as he worked his hips up and down.

Frank let Gerard control the tempo for a long moment, the teasing drag of his ass over his cock making his balls tighten and relax every few seconds. He felt so ready to cum but he couldn’t quite climax with the slow pace. He let it happen though, wanting to drag it out and make Gerard feel good too. Eventually though his body’s screaming won over and he started to take control himself.

Once Gerard felt Frank start to lift and lower his own hips he stopped his own movement and simply relaxed into the pace Frank set. He was still gazing at him though his eyes were half lidded, and he was moaning quietly himself now. When Frank took over his pleasure increased tenfold, loving the sensation of his lover guiding his body for their pleasure. He had never imagined it could feel like this and he swallowed thickly as he rolled his hips back and forth to seek out new sensations. Frank was tilting his hips this way and that with each thrust up, searching for that special spot and Gerard’s heart raced at the prospect of them finding it.

“G – Gee...Nnghh... Babe, touch yourself for me?” Frank groaned after a moment, his voice husky and deeper than ever from his pleasure. Gerard’s body tingled pleasantly at the sound of it and he nodded, shakily moving one hand off Frank’s tattooed chest to wrap around his erection and start stroking in time to their thrusting. By now both of their bodies had grown slick with sweat, but Gerard just didn’t want to stop. 

Frank could feel his orgasm approaching swiftly now he was moving faster, but he forced himself to hold out as long as possible. He grunted in slight frustration, it seeming to take forever but then finally he managed to grind over Gerard’s prostate a few times. The effect was immediate, the older man moaning loudly at first before he remembered Bert and he struggled to tone it down, though each noise was full of hunger and a desperate pleasure that had Frank’s cock twitching.

“F – Fuck... Fuck Gee... I... I can’t hold it I... I’m gonna – Aagh!” Frank gasped and arched his back, pressing deeper into Gerard and making the older man wince in slight discomfort but then he moaned too as he felt Frank’s cock throbbing inside him as he came. He shuddered and whimpered, still rocking his hips as he worked his hand faster over his own length. Feeling Frank cum inside him, knowing it was from how good he was making him feel made Gerard’s own cock twitch and pulse with pleasure.

“Oh Frankie... Frank I... Oh God baby I love you... I... I... Fuck...” Gerard’s own orgasm was creeping on him. It came slowly at first, then faster though always gentle. It wasn’t quite as explosive as Frank’s, and when he finally spilt over his fingers it came with a huge wave of relief at finally relieving the tension in his body. He shuddered through the after waves of pleasure, his ass clenching around Frank’s softening dick until he slipped out of him entirely, Gerard’s cum dripping down onto his stomach.

Gerard winced when Frank slid out of him, his ass clenching tight for a moment before relaxing. He was left with that burning ache, somehow worse without Frank inside him but he pushed it out of mind, wiping his hand against the sheets before he slumped against Frank’s chest. He felt weak and boneless, even a little dazed and yet at the same time incredible.

Frank sighed and closed his eyes, panting softly as he ran his fingers through Gerard’s hair. His heart was still racing but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face, he couldn’t believe they had finally done it, and soon he had to just tilt Gerard’s face to his so he could kiss him long and slow.

“Mm... Mmm...” He sighed, Gerard smiling against his lips. “Gee... You’re incredible...” He whispered, making the older man blush and smile more.

“You too Frankie... I... God, just... Thank you so much.” He mewled, amazed that after all this time he had finally bottomed for someone. He grinned as he opened his eyes to meet Frank’s gaze, all the things they wanted to say to each other passing unspoken through the looks they gave and Gerard just melted against Frank’s chest. In that moment he forgot about everything but Frank... Bert, the Breakfast monkey, Jeph... All those things didn’t exist anymore. It was just him and Frank and their bodies tangled in the sheets, and Gerard would have been content if that was the only thing left for the rest of his life.

xXx

“And you’re sure it was him?”

“Yep, positive.” The man nodded as he gazed at the grubby photo in his hands. It was only small, wallet sized, but he knew the face. He never forgot a face, and he told the man beside him just that. “He’s in that building somewhere. Probably hiding out in one of the disused rooms, unless he has friends.”

“No, he doesn’t have friends.” The man beside him scoffed, taking the picture back and stuffing it into his wallet. He then took the cigarette from between his teeth and held it between two fingers, blowing a long stream of smoke into the night air. “If he’s in there I’ll find him... And if he’s not in there, then I’ll take it as you lying to me.” The man turned to face at the other, grinning cruelly at him in the dark. “And when people lie to me, I make sure they never tell another lie for the rest of their life.”

The shorter man gulped, his tongue pushing against the roof of his mouth as if it had a life of its own and it knew it was getting threatened at being cut out. “I ain’t lying.” He insisted, his voice gruff and shaky. “I saw him go in there, I swear. Just a couple days ago. It was definitely him.” 

“If you insist.” The taller man smirked, taking another drag on his cigarette as he turned to face the apartment building once more. It was a large, expensive looking place. The people living in these apartments had to be well off, he was almost impressed that Bert hadn’t just decided to hide out in some scummy building like he’d been expecting. He may never have found him if it wasn’t for his contacts, but now he had he was practically vibrating with excitement. 

“You can go now.” He sighed, looking boredly at the man still quivering beside him. “If I need to dispose of you, I’ll find you.” He smirked, grinning that twisted grin of his as the man nodded with a terrified expression and hurried away without another word.

Jeph chuckled to himself and shook his head, turning to look at the apartments again as he continued to smoke his cigarette, his eyes scanning over each window as he wondered which room his lover would be cowering in.


	21. Chapter twenty one

Gerard sighed and mewled slightly as he began to stir. The first thing he became aware of was the ache in his body that centred in his ass, throbbing and burning until he wanted to just curl up in a ball and hide. At first he could only concentrate on the fact it hurt, it really _hurt_ ; but then as he began to wake up more and more it began to hurt less as he remembered why it was hurting to begin with and what he had done last night. 

His eyelids fluttering heavily, Gerard forced himself to wake up properly and look for Frank. He knew he was there, he could feel his warmth beside him and when he managed to open his eyes a touch, a soft hand found its way to his cheek, caressing gently to coax him into the land of the living.

“Mmm... Frankie?” He whispered, his mouth dry and his throat hoarse. He felt like he had been hit by a truck. “Is that you?”

“Course.” Frank whispered back, and when Gerard finally managed to force his eyes open he saw that the younger man was smiling, causing Gerard’s lips to twitch up at the corners too. “How are you feeling? It’s only six am ya know? I’m surprised you’re awake.” Frank chuckled quietly. He had only got a few hours sleep himself, and then had just gazed lovingly at Gerard as soon as he had enough light to see by. The room was a watery grey colour from the lightening darkness, it was like they were trapped in a black and grey movie. But Frank didn’t mind. 

“I’m surprised I’m awake too.” Gerard croaked, yawning and stretching his aching limbs. No wonder he felt so shit if it was only six am. That was early even by his work standards. 

“What are you doing awake?” He asked softly, his voice sounding a little less demonic now he had cleared his throat. Frank chuckled and shrugged, still stroking his thumb along his cheekbone. 

“Couldn’t sleep...” He shrugged, shifting closer to Gerard and smiling as they tangled their legs. “You looked so peaceful sleeping... I just wanted to watch you.”

“Wow Frankie, a little bit weird.” Gerard teased, though his heart fluttered with adoration. He loved that Frank had wanted to watch him sleep, and he actually didn’t find it weird at all, but he felt it _would_ be weird for him to show how he was melting inside. 

“Whatever.” Frank scoffed, waving his hand flippantly before he just went back to grinning at Gerard. “How are you feeling by the way?” He asked, his voice softer now and he moved his hand off Gerard’s cheek to stroke down his arm. 

“A little achy.” Gerard admitted quietly, blushing. “But that’s normal right?”

“Totally normal.” Frank nodded, smiling warmly at his lover as he tucked a lock of Gerard’s hair behind his ear and softly pecked his lips. “Once you’ve showered you’ll feel a lot better... Do you want me to get you some painkillers now?” He offered quietly, eager to take care of Gerard and make him feel incredible after how amazing he had made him feel last night. “You were incredible last night by the way.” He added with a cheeky grin, making Gerard blush.

“Thanks.” He chuckled, his heart fluttering as he slid an arm over Frank’s waist for a moment. “I could do with some with painkillers though I think. And maybe some coffee.” He sighed, forcing himself to sit up and stretch. 

“I’ll come with you.”

“No, you stay here and relax.” Frank quickly ordered, smirking as he got to his knees and kissed Gerard quickly, full of energy as ever. “You sure you don’t need any more sleep?” He chuckled at Gerard’s yawn.

“Nah. Now I’m up I may as well stay up.” Gerard smirked, deciding he wanted to make the most of the day with Frank. They could spend the morning alone together until Bert woke up, then maybe they could all go somewhere for the day. God only knew Bert could do with a day out. “You sure you don’t want any help?” He chuckled as he watched Frank strut naked across his room to borrow a pair of his sweatpants to go to the kitchen.

“I think I can handle a couple mugs of coffee on my own Gee.” Frank smirked back, rolling up the bottom of the pants when they were too long for him before he dashed over to peck Gerard’s cheek again. “Back in a second lover.” He grinned, practically dancing out of the room and leaving Gerard in a mess of love sick goo.

Gerard sighed and sank back down in the bed, snuggling under the duvet and wincing again as his ass stung from the movement. It wasn’t too bad... Just a constant reminder that he had finally lost his anal virginity. He still felt sickeningly proud of himself, and judging from Frank’s good mood he did too. Gerard sighed and smiled to himself, hugging the pillow Frank had been sleeping on and inhaling his scent as he waited for him to come back.

Frank seemed to appear in the room in an instant thanks to Gerard drifting off, and he sighed and smiled when he felt his lover’s soft kiss on his lips. “Mm, you want these pills Sugar?”

“Mm... Yeah, m’not sleeping.” Gerard purred, forcing himself to sit up again and stretch his arms above his head. He rubbed his eyes and smiled when he lowered his hands to see Frank handing him the pain killers along with a glass of water. He’d also brought in their coffee so once Gerard had chased back the pills with the cold water he was able to hug his mug of coffee to his chest and let it warm him up again.

Frank slid into the bed beside Gerard and tucked himself into his side, smiling as he kissed gently down his jaw and neck. “Mm.... I love you Gee.” He whispered, Gerard sighing quietly as his eyes closed for a second.

“I love you too.” He breathed, feeling light headed almost. He had never been as happy as he was then, and it was almost overwhelming. His heart felt heavy with all the feelings it was harbouring and he just wanted to grab Frank and kiss him fiercely until his lungs gave out... but it was far too early for something so energetic so he just sipped at his coffee instead. 

For a while the two men were silent, just sitting together in the bed and sipping their coffee as the room got gradually lighter and lighter. They were both warm and content together, neither feeling the need to speak, instead just smiling softly at one another every now and then before turning their focus back onto their drinks.

After an hour had slid by and their coffee was long gone Gerard sighed and stretched, glancing to Frank with a soft grin. “Wanna join me in the shower?”

Frank looked at Gerard in slight surprise, a smirk slowly splitting his features and he nodded eagerly. “I would love to.” He grinned, sharing a quick kiss with Gerard before they both slid out of bed to wander into the ensuite together. Frank still in the sweatpants and Gerard completely naked. 

After flicking on the light in the bathroom it took both men a moment to adjust after sitting in the darkness of the bedroom. Once they could stop squinting Frank was quick to strip of the sweatpants and flick the shower on whilst Gerard examined his reflection in the mirror above the sink. He frowned at the dark shadows under his eyes and his mussed up hair, but Frank was soon sidling up behind him, holding his waist and smiling at him in the mirror. 

“You look gorgeous.” He purred, grinning at the way Gerard still blushed, though he smiled back at him.

“I look like I just got fucked ten times over.” He smirked, Frank’s grin widening. 

“We’ll wait for you to get used to it a bit before we do it ten times over.” He winked, Gerard laughing despite himself and he shook his head fondly, Frank grinning as he kissed his shoulder gently before moving back. “Do you want me to check if you bled or anything?” He asked casually, Gerard’s laughter immediately dying in his throat.

“Oh uh... Erm... S – Sure...” He mumbled, his face flushing red all over. He hadn’t even considered the fact that he might have bled, he had been too busy being shocked that he had managed to have sex at all. He shyly parted his legs a little more when Frank asked him too, blushing furiously when the younger man pushed him to bend over slightly. He felt embarrassed and stupid but Frank’s touch was gentle as he spread the cheeks of his ass slowly.

“Mm... No, you’re good.” The grin was clear in Frank’s voice and Gerard sighed with relief. “I’m impressed, I bled tons my first time.” 

“Really?” Gerard mewled, turning to face Frank again as they stepped into the shower together. Frank nodded and shrugged like it was nothing, wrapping his arms around Gerard once they were under the spray of water together, snuggling against his chest with a smile. 

“Mhmm... I tore my first time. But then I guess I was a little over eager to impress and the guy wasn’t very experienced either. He didn’t mean to hurt me but we just didn’t prep enough and we went too fast. It’s quite common... There’s just not enough information out there for gay people when it comes to sex so... Lots of people get it a bit wrong their first time.”

“Oh...” Gerard whispered, frowning at first before he realised that really did make sense. He had learnt all he knew from watching porn, which he guessed was what most people did... When he had been with Bert he had already had sex before so it wasn’t a big deal that Gerard topped. He hadn’t even considered whether he’d be able to top a virgin without hurting them. 

“I guess it is different for gay couples...” He mumbled, Frank looking up at him with a small smile, still resting against his chest. 

“Of course it is.” Frank giggled, kissing between his collar bones. “There are so many things you have to consider that isn’t shown in porn. And sex ed in schools doesn’t offer any information about it – the most they’ll say to a gay kid is to make sure they use protection and scare them about AIDS. They don’t bother giving them any help when it comes to practicing safe anal sex, nothing about lube or how to prep someone properly or when to know you’re okay to penetrate or not.”

Gerard blushed deeply at Frank’s words, realising it was true. Lube was pretty much a no brainer, but then he was twenty six... He couldn’t remember if he’d really thought about lube when he was a teenager or if Bert had been the one to make sure that was always provided. He certainly didn’t know how to prep someone for their first time properly... Or he hadn’t, not until Frank had been prepping him. He supposed he had always rushed a bit, but luckily it hadn’t mattered since both Frank and Bert had been experienced enough for that. He certainly didn’t know how you were supposed to tell if you were okay to penetrate or not, he just went with... If you had prepped for some amount of time it was fine. 

“That’s why so many people get hurt the first time they try it ya know? But now that anal sex is being glamorized through the porn industry more people are trying it and wondering why they’re tearing, or why it’s causing worse problems than that.” Frank sighed, Gerard not even wanting to know what the worse problems were. “It’s an issue that should be tackled in sex ed if you ask me, but then no one’s gonna listen to a gay porn star when it comes to talking sex to their kids.” Frank laughed quietly to himself but Gerard could tell that this was a topic he was really serious about. He blushed, wondering why he had never known this before.

“Well... You’re right though.” He offered quietly, stroking Frank’s back with his fingertips and hoping that would cheer him up a little. He didn’t know why they were talking about this, but he didn’t really mind. “I mean... If I had known more about it maybe I wouldn’t have been so scared.” He blushed, not sure that was true since it sounded even more terrifying than before with what Frank was saying. “Kids should be prepared.”

“Exactly.” Frank nodded, his voice holding even more conviction as he gazed up at Gerard, his heart fluttering to hear him agreeing. All his other boyfriends had thought him ridiculous to care so much and had got irritated whenever he talked about it. But of course Gerard was once again proving himself different. 

“Teenagers have sex, that’s a fact of life. And it’s also a fact that some are trying anal sex – gay or not. I just think... I mean... We were all teenagers once, and we all had to fumble around in the dark and learn on our own... and I just think maybe we should be helping kids a little more ya know? Teaching them how to be safe and not just in a contraception kinda way. Pretending it’s not happening isn’t going to help anybody.”

“Uhuh...” Gerard nodded, by now he had squeezed some soap onto a cloth and was gently washing Frank clean as he talked. He was interested in everything he was saying and felt a strange sort of pride at how Frank actually thought about these kinda things and cared about it. He guessed as a porn star he had more experience than most when it came to sex and its darker sides and he was almost touched that he wanted to use that knowledge to help others. 

“But like I say,” Frank sighed, closing his eyes and relaxing under Gerard’s touch. “There’s nothing I can do about it... I’m gay _and_ a porn star. I’m like the lowest of the low.” Frank smirked to show he was kidding, but there was a tinge of sadness in his voice and Gerard knew it was because to some people that was true.

“Well, I don’t think you’re the lowest of the low.” Gerard sighed, tilting Frank’s head up to gently kiss along his cheek bones. “I think you’re the most perfect person in the world...” He sighed, the words just slipping past his lips without him even thinking about them. At first he didn’t realise what he had said, but then he felt Frank’s eyelashes brush against his cheek as he opened his eyes and he looked back at him with a small blush. 

“Wow...” Frank whispered, staring at Gerard in slight surprise. The words had come out so soft and genuine, Frank couldn’t even bring himself to playfully tease him about them. Instead he just stared at him with wide, sparkling eyes. “You really mean that don’t you?”

“I...” Gerard hesitated, knowing the words had sounded cliché and ridiculous and he felt embarrassed for ever saying them... but he couldn’t bring himself to just laugh them off. He _had_ meant them. “Yeah I... I did.” He sighed, biting his lip as he looked at Frank. “I’ve thought it for a long time.”

“Oh Gerard...” Frank sighed, wrapping his arms slowly around his neck. “Gee I love you so much... You’re perfect too. Really you are.” Frank sighed, tiptoeing up to press his lips gently to Gerard’s and kiss him with all the love he possessed. He hoped Gerard knew how different he was to Frank’s other boyfriends, and how good that was... He couldn’t believe he had met someone like this and he felt ashamed of himself for ever nearly losing him just because he had been a fan.

“Gee... Gee mmm...” Frank stretched up as far as he could go, wanting all gaps between them to close and he sighed as Gerard eagerly kissed him back. Their lips slid wetly together, suckling and nipping as they clung to one another, Gerard’s arms around Frank’s waist. 

Frank sighed and gently slid his tongue along the crease of Gerard’s lips, begging for entry which the older man quickly granted. Their tongues met in the gap between their mouth, sliding together and dancing rather than battling, Gerard breathing heavily through his nose as he squeezed Frank’s ass and tugged their hips tighter together.

Frank moaned into Gerard’s mouth when he felt his cock already hard slide against his own. Within an instant his own cock pulsed with blood and within just a few seconds of shameless rutting against each other both men were fully erect and aching. Frank couldn’t remember the last time he had been able to get so hard so quickly and he shivered with delight. 

Gerard sighed as their tongues drew back but their kissing still remained as heated. Their teeth clicked together as they ravished one another’s mouths. By now Frank had dipped his hands to grip at Gerard’s ass too and they were pulling and tugging one another closer, rubbing their cocks together and whispering and moaning against each other’s mouths.

Gerard soon felt like he was on fire and the sensation of their wet erections slipping and sliding side by side was making his ass quiver in anticipation. It was like his body knew full well where this could lead, where he _wanted_ it to lead and he whimpered softly as he arched Frank back slightly, attacking his mouth with hungry kisses. His ass was still aching, but he didn’t care, he wanted to feel Frank inside him again.

Frank gasped and moaned, a slur of curse words leaving his mouth before he bit hard on Gerard’s lower lip, sucking the pain away before he moved to his neck instead. His cock was starting to throb with more definition now, a pearl of pre cum building at the tip and he hissed when he felt it smear across Gerard’s abdomen as he shoved his hips forward. 

“Fuck Gee.... Oh God, fuck... Fuck you’re so... ugh...” Frank couldn’t form a coherent sentence, too far gone already. Last night he had had to keep a hold on himself to make sure he didn’t lose control, but now he didn’t need to do that and Gerard was moaning helplessly to hear how much he was affecting the younger man. 

Gerard tipped his head back and thrust his hips harder, desperately seeking friction as they humped against one another. The water of the shower was helping their slick bodies slide together, and Frank’s tongue was just as hot as the water as it licked down his neck, leaving a trail of bite marks behind him. 

“Fuck... Oh Frank, that feels so good.” Gerard groaned, tilting his head back to rest on the tiled wall as Frank slid down to suck against one of his nipples. His tongue flicked and rubbed over the rosy nub before it was rolled between his teeth, Gerard panting heavily the whole time. It felt as if the nerve endings in his nipple were attached to his dick, making it throb with each languid suck of Frank’s mouth.

“Oh... Ooh please Frankie...” He whimpered, pushing his hips forward again but starting to lose energy. The rubbing together wasn’t enough, he wanted more. “Please babe, I wanna feel you inside me.” He begged, his nails dragging up Frank’s back to dig into his shoulder blades, making the porn star hiss and groan lustily. 

“Fuck...” He gasped, pulling back to look at Gerard through lust hazy eyes. He almost turned him round and fucked him right then but a little warning bell in his head made him stop and think for a second. It didn’t take him long to remember why they couldn’t do that. “Gee, oh God you look so hot right now...” He whimpered as Gerard sighed and slid an arm above his head, arching his back seductively and letting Frank just gaze at his whole body. Completely exposed and perfectly beautiful. 

“Fuck, stop it.” Frank whimpered, knowing Gerard wasn’t being purposefully sexy like this but it was making it hard to think. “We... We can’t... Not in the shower Gee I... We need condoms.” Frank’s words were rushed and disjointed, his eyes busy scanning down the length of Gerard’s pale body, pausing on his cock that was hard and pulsing, jutting proudly from his groin. God he wanted him.

“Mm... But I’m clean Frankie, and so are you.” Gerard whined, desperate to feel Frank _now_ but the porn star simply sighed and shook his head.

“I know that Gee, I _know_ , but my job... I... I need the proof remember, for them?” He whimpered, really hating his contract in that moment. He wanted nothing more than to turn Gerard round and sink into him bare, but he couldn’t. “And the condoms aren’t water proof babe...”

“Fuck...” Gerard whined, squeezing his eyes shut as his cock throbbed painfully, aching for release. “But I... Oh fuck... Can’t we just... Just get out, for a sec, and then... after we’ll finish showering?” He suggested, looking at Frank with pleading eyes and the younger man couldn’t help but laugh a little as he nodded, his heart missing a beat. It was crazy to see Gerard wanting him so badly, and he was more than happy to get out of the shower. 

“Alright. Alright, get out and put your hands on the wall right here.” Frank said firmly, stepping out of the shower and slapping the wall right by the sink. “I’ll be two seconds.” He promised, racing wet and naked out of the bathroom to get the condoms and lube. 

Gerard nodded and stumbled out of the shower, his legs shaky from the force of his lust. He felt light headed and _so_ turned on. He placed his hands on the wall just like Frank had asked him, resting either side of his head as he spread his legs and waited. He could hardly even feel the ache in his ass anymore, it had been taken over by a strange pulsing; his body just as eager as his mind.

Frank skidded back into the bathroom after just a moment, he slammed the door shut again and shook his head at Gerard, a devious smirk on his face. “Not like that Gee.” He smirked, putting down the supplies and moving Gerard with ease so that he stood infront of the sink instead, hands moving along the wall so that they rested either side of the mirror. “I wanna see your face when you cum.”

“Oh God...” Gerard groaned, feeling too weak to protest. He didn’t really want to see himself when he was getting fucked from behind but at the same time he couldn’t deny it was erotic and he just wanted Frank to hurry up and give him what he wanted. “Frankie please, I need you so bad.”

“Shh...” Frank hushed him gently, amazed at how just yesterday Gerard had been terrified of anal sex and now he was begging for it. It was one hell of a u-turn, Frank almost felt like he had whiplash. 

“I’m gonna make you feel so good Gee.” He promised, his voice low and husky as he grabbed the lube and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers. 

Gerard shuddered and sighed as Frank spread his cheeks with one hand and pressed a slick fingertip against his ass, the lube cold but soothing against his aching ring of muscle. He tensed at first, still a little wary though he knew it would be okay. It couldn’t hurt as much as the night before, could it?

“Mm... That’s it Gee, just relax...” Frank purred, kissing across his back and shoulders as he rubbed his finger slowly around his anus, letting the muscles relax in their own time before starting to push his finger inside the older man. Gerard shuddered and tensed but quickly relaxed again, soothed by Frank’s kissing and soft words and soon a second and then a third finger had joined the first.

Frank took his time in prepping Gerard, making sure he was fully ready before he rolled on the condom and spread the lube over his own erection. By then Gerard was panting harshly, whimpering and rolling his hips as he ached for Frank to fill him. 

“Fuck Gee, you look so hot right now.” Frank breathed, holding the base of his erection so he could guide himself to Gerard’s hole and line up. “Look at yourself Gee... Look in the mirror.”

“I... Fuck...” Gerard groaned, doing as Frank asked ever so hesitantly. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what he looked like and he blushed when he gazed at his reflection. His eyes were heavily lidded and glossy, his lips rosy red from all the kissing and his body flushed with arousal. Frank was starting to press into him ever so slowly, and he watched his mouth opening as he gasped, his hands scrabbling at the wall. He considered moving them to edge of the sink but he didn’t trust himself to be able to keep on his feet if he did.

“Oh God... Oh Frank, that feels so good.” Gerard whimpered, lowering his head again as he tensed his shoulders and bit his lip. He could feel himself opening up to accommodate Frank’s girth and this time it was more pleasure than pain. He could still feel that stinging burn from before, and Frank still had to move extra slowly, but it was a lot easier than the first time and soon Frank was fully seated inside him.

“Oh Gee...” Frank groaned, tilting his head back for a moment as his cock pulsed inside his lover. He had to take a moment to compose and pull himself together, his fingers digging into Gerard’s hips where he was bent over slightly. Gerard’s inner channel was clenching rhythmically around him, making his groin stab with pleasure before he even began thrusting. 

“Keep your hands on the wall.” Frank ordered softly before he began to move his hips back and forth, Gerard gasping and moaning loudly as he pushed back to meet him. 

“Fuck! Okay...” He gasped, moaning as he squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back. Frank thrust slowly at first, letting him adjust and making sure he wasn’t too sore before he began to speed up. 

Gerard bit his lip and tensed his jaw in an attempt to stop the moans that were desperate to burst from his mouth. The new position felt even better than being on top and he was stunned to find how turned on Frank’s dominant attitude was making him. Pre cum was already rolling down the shaft of his erection and they had barely got going. He wondered fleetingly why it had taken them so long to get to this stage in their relationship, but he just pushed it aside. At least they were here now.

“Oh Gee... Oh God, you’re so fucking hot...” Frank gasped out between clenched teeth, his hands on Gerard’s hips pulling his ass back to meet each of his thrusts until the sound of his balls slapping against Gerard’s skin was filling the bathroom along with the wet sounds from the lube spreading inside him. Their panting and soft moaning was only making Frank even more turned on, the patter of the shower and the steam surrounding them only making it even more erotic.

Soon the mirror was too steamed up for Frank to see Gerard in it and so he simply focused on the sensations of being inside him instead. Gerard was clenching more and more around him, his moaning becoming more breathy and insistent. Frank could tell he was close and he moaned as he ground his cock inside his lover, slipping over his prostate.

“Oh God Gee, m’gonna make you cum so hard.” He promised huskily, Gerard shuddering with pleasure and he slurred out a desperate ‘Frankiee...’ before he moved a hand down to touch his erection. 

“Ah ah!” Frank gasped, slapping his hand lightly. “Hands on the wall!” He demanded again, his voice strained from the force of his pleasure, the tendons in his neck standing out as he struggled to hold back his orgasm. Gerard whined but obediently slapped his hand back onto the wall and Frank soon had one of his hands on his erection instead, squeezing tight and jacking him off in time to his thrusting. 

“Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck...” Gerard chanted over and over, throwing his ass back as he lost control and grew erratic. Frank hissed, rubbing over Gerard’s prostate with each thrust and soon he was groaning loudly as Gerard suddenly came hard all over the edge of the sink and Frank’s fingers. 

“Fuuuck! Frankie! Oh _God!_ ” Gerard gasped, shuddering all over as he clenched tight and spilt rope after rope of cum against the sink. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had such an explosive orgasm and he only moaned all the more when Frank grunted behind him and slammed his hips forward, holding still as he came himself into the condom.

Gerard could easily feel the twitching of Frank’s cock inside him and his own erection pulsed in sympathy. The tip was still bright red, smeared with his cum where Frank’s fingers were still teasing him. 

“Unn... Frank... Frankie stop.” He breathed weakly, his cock too sensitive and he whimpered when Frank immediately moved his hand away. He then began to slide slowly out of him, both men hissing as he slipped from Gerard’s ass, causing the muscles to clench tight for a moment before relaxing.

Frank felt like he was on fire as he slowly pulled the condom off and tied a knot. He tossed it into the bin before turning Gerard round to kiss him tenderly. Gerard mewled quietly, his chest still heaving with the force of his breathing but he had never felt more sated.

“I love you Gee...” Frank sighed, his own breathing heavy as he kissed Gerard quickly again before he tugged him gently into the shower to clean up. Gerard grinned drunkenly and nodded, feeling boneless as he kissed Frank lightly.

“Mm... You too Frankie...” He whispered, his voice still husky and soon he could do nothing but slump against his lover as they weakly washed each other clean.

xXx

When Frank and Gerard eventually emerged from the bedroom, fully dressed but still with lust glossed eyes Bert was awake. Even a deaf man would have heard their action in the bathroom, but Bert had managed to tune the most of it out and then push it out of mind when they had finished. He still blushed slightly when they entered the room, but he tried to just pretend that he hadn’t heard a single thing. 

“Morning Bert.” Frank grinned, practically skipping to the kitchen whilst Gerard’s cheeks went a little pink, guessing that Bert had probably heard them. “We were just about to have some breakfast, do you want some?” Frank called, Bert rising to his feet. 

“Uh sure, let me help.” He offered, walking with Gerard into the kitchen where Frank had got a pot of coffee brewing and was raiding the fridge.

“Eh I don’t need any help.” He giggled, smiling at the two men as he pulled out a box of eggs and some mushrooms and cheese. “I’m gonna make omelette, you guys just relax.” He beamed, dancing about the kitchen and making Gerard smile lovingly. 

“Alright then...” He chuckled, sitting with Bert at the table instead once they’d poured their coffee. They chatted softly whilst they watched Frank cook, all three of them settling into a comfortable conversation. Gerard mentioned that he thought it might be nice to go out together that day and Frank and Bert were both eager to agree, Bert’s smile shy but clearly touched at being invited to join the couple in an outing. He was suddenly incredibly grateful to Frank for making him come back and he grinned as they all ate breakfast together.

Once they had all finished eating and Bert had been given time to shower and change the three men left the apartment together before it was even midday. They were all in high spirits and didn’t notice that there was anyone else around as they locked the door and disappeared down the stairs to go outside.

Back in the corridor Jeph stood gazing after them, leaning round the corner. He had been psyching out the apartment block since early that morning after sleeping in a motel for the night. He hadn’t been expecting to find Bert just yet, he had just been looking for all the fire exits, and any rooms that seemed abandoned and the like. He had taken his time, even listening against a few doors whenever he heard people talking just in case he heard Bert’s voice, but he certainly hadn’t been waiting for him to walk right by him.

Jeph had considered stepping out so they would see him, or maybe following them... but then he didn’t know who the two men with Bert were and so he held back just in case. If they were cops or something then he needed to be careful. But now he at least knew where Bert was staying and he smirked as he crept to the apartment door they had exited through.

Jeph had picked up many skills in his time and picking locks was just one of many. He always kept a few things with him that often came in handy and his picks were with him. He looked around quickly to make sure he wasn’t being watched before he got to work on the door. It only took him five minutes to get it open and he grinned to himself as he slipped inside and shut the door behind him.

For a moment he just leant his back against the door and let his eyes scan over the apartment. It was lived in, that much was obvious, so Bert was obviously staying with those two men. A couple perhaps? Jeph hummed quietly to himself and walked slowly into the room, focusing on keeping his footsteps light and quiet as he gazed around. There was a duvet folded up beside the couch with pillows on top so he guessed Bert must sleep there... There was washing up in the drainer in the kitchen, three plates and three mugs.

Jeph clicked his tongue thoughtfully and moved back into the living room, gazing around curiously. There was some art of the walls, comic art, and hand drawn by the looks of it. Most of them didn’t have any signatures on them, except for one which was hand signed. Jeph couldn’t make out the name but since it was pride of place in the centre of the wall he figured it must be some famous comic artist he had never heard of.

So the people who lived here were comic book nerds. That didn’t seem too sinister. Jeph scoffed to himself and almost laughed, finding it amusing that Bert would seek refuge with two men who were looking less and less intimidating the more Jeph explored.

A sweep of the bedroom, ensuite and bathroom soon allowed Jeph to realise the apartment was technically only lived in by one. Bert had a few things scattered about, but generally there was no sign that two men lived here permanently. The condoms in the bin in the bathroom and bedroom implied they were a couple though. And the many art supplies and drawing boards soon told Jeph all he needed to know.

Bert was living with a cartoon artist of some sort and his male lover. Jeph actually laughed out loud to think of how damn _easy_ it was going to be to confront them. 

Sauntering back into the living Jeph flopped down onto the couch and flicked on the TV, making himself at home with a small smirk. He wondered if there was any food he could raid and grinned to himself. He would sit in the apartment and wait for the men to get back, and then if either of those two faggots tried to stop him from taking Bert back he would put a bullet in both their heads before taking his leave.


	22. Chapter twenty two

Bert laughed as he walked slowly up the stairs towards the apartment with Frank and Gerard, his side hurting from how hard he was laughing; his knife wound still giving him trouble from time to time though it was mostly healed. 

The men had gone into town just to window shop and have a coffee, but there had been a street artist trying to get people to sit and let him draw them. Frank had forced Gerard into it, and the resulting artwork had been less than flattering.

“Oh God Gee, your face!” Frank laughed, still looking at the drawing that Gerard had been begging them to bin for the last hour. “He’s made you look like a chipmunk!”

“Yes I am aware.” Gerard snarled, trying to snatch the drawing off Frank, just making the shorter man laugh harder, both he and Bert struggling to find the strength to climb up the stairs they were so busy laughing to themselves. 

“Guys!” Gerard whined, stamping his foot slightly as he finally managed to snatch the drawing from Frank. “This isn’t funny! I can’t believe you even made me sit there; I could tell he was going to be shit.” He insisted, tearing up the drawing furiously but Frank and Bert didn’t seem to care. Frank grabbed Gerard’s shoulder and used him as support to get up the stairs, desperately trying to stop his laughter.

“God I’m sorry Gee. It was just... The way you looked at him when he gave you the drawing – Oh God!” Frank began to howl with laughter again, the mental image of Gerard’s horrified face from earlier just making him practically keel over he found it so funny. 

“Okay, okay. It’s not funny anymore, stop over doing it.” Gerard pouted miserably, finally managing to get the two men up the stairs without either of them falling down again. Bert had managed to silence his laughter for the most part, though he was still grinning and had to keep biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing again as Frank continued to giggle. 

“God, I’m sorry Gee.” He sniggered, wiping at the tears in his eyes as he stood beside Bert in the corridor, Gerard fumbling with his keys to get the apartment open. He rolled his eyes and mumbled a sceptical ‘yeah, yeah’ in response to Frank’s apology, turning to tell him he didn’t believe a word of it as he slipped his key into the lock and turned it. 

“I d – Oh...” Gerard stopped and looked back to the door, removing his key and trying the handle, feeling his stomach lurch in horror. “Shit, I must have forgotten to lock it when we left.” He gasped, immediately thinking of his precious Alan Moore art on his wall and praying no one had come into the apartment and stolen it. 

“What, really?” Frank’s laughter stopped immediately as he followed Gerard into the apartment, Bert entering last. “I’m sure I saw you lock up though Gee.” He said gently, stopping abruptly when Gerard did, almost walking into the back of him. 

“Gerard?” Frank jumped when Bert actually _did_ walk into the back of him and he turned to help steady him before he could fall, Gerard standing stock still.

“Who are you?” Frank and Bert both looked round curiously at Gerard’s words, Frank tiptoeing up to try and see over Gerard’s shoulder to find who he was talking to. Already his heart was hammering at the prospect of a thief having got into the apartment, but when he finally spotted the man Gerard was talking to Frank couldn’t help but think he didn’t look much like a thief. He was sat comfortably on the sofa, looking perfectly at home with a plate balancing on his lap. He was just finishing the last of what looked like a sandwich, his eyes sparkling as they focussed on Gerard.

“I said, who the fuck are you asshole!?” Gerard demanded, the initial surprise turning into anger as he stormed forward. “Get the fuck out of my apartment!” He snapped, set to grab the guy by his shirt and throw him out himself when as quick as a flash a gun was pointing at his chest, the man smiling serenely at him and saying not a word as he stuffed the last of his sandwich into his mouth.

“GERARD!” Frank gasped, going to lunge forward but then strong arms wrapped around his waist, Bert restraining him with a small whimper.

“Frank stop! You’ll make him shoot!” He gasped, his voice thick with fear and Frank immediately grew still in his arms, though he continued to lean forward, one arm outstretched as if he would somehow be able to close the gap between he and Gerard and grab him. 

“Bert!” The man on the sofa grinned wide, leaning forward to put his plate down on the floor, never moving his gun away from Gerard. “How good it is to see you again babe, I’ve been looking all over for you.” He chuckled, realisation dawning on Gerard and he felt his blood run cold as his heart skipped a beat.

“You’re Jeph?” He breathed, his eyes growing wide in horror and behind him Frank felt his own fear increasing tenfold. He stepped back slightly to press tighter against Bert, awkwardly moving one of his arms behind himself to grab Bert’s hand and grip tight, though whether to comfort Bert or himself he wasn’t sure. He just felt better with their fingers locked. 

“I guess I am.” Jeph nodded his agreement to Gerard’s words, lazily getting to his feet and focusing on brushing the crumbs off his jeans before he looked up to continue grinning darkly at Gerard. “And who might you be, hm?” He asked sweetly, feeling amused to see how terrified the artist was. Gerard had gone paler than usual and was trembling slightly despite how hard he tried not to, his hands were clammy and he kept wiping them against his jeans, his eyes never leaving the gun. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” Gerard said slowly rather than giving his name, his voice trembling only slightly and he was proud of how level he had managed to keep it. He felt like he could collapse he was so afraid, but he forced himself to try and remain composed. Of all the movies he had watched with scenes like this, hell, all the comic books he had read and even drawn himself depicting stand off’s like this one, he had never imagined how truly terrifying it was to stare down the barrel of a gun.

“Excuse me?” Jeph laughed, taking a step closer to Gerard though there was still a good six feet between them. “ _Bert_ is the one who shouldn’t be here. I’ve just come over to take him back home, you should be _grateful_ that I’m here. I’m sure he’s just getting in your way.” He chuckled, Bert starting to cry quietly where he was stood back with Frank.

“He’s not in our way.” Gerard replied immediately, forcing himself to look away from the gun long enough to look at Jeph. “You’re not taking him anywhere, he’s staying here.” He said strongly, sounding more confident than he felt. He half expected Jeph to shoot him right then and there, but he didn’t. 

“Oh is that so?” Jeph purred, scowling as he took another step forward, directing his gaze to Bert instead. “I’m curious Bert, who are these guys, huh? I didn’t know you had any friends in New Jersey.” He purred, his voice sceptical and cutting and Bert refused to meet his gaze as he cried. 

“Th – They’re just... just a couple guys... L – Leave them alone Jeph, please.” He whimpered, tears falling off his cheeks and to the floor from where he was staring down at his feet. 

Jeph stared at him for a long moment before he snarled and strode forward, shoving Gerard hard out of his way and then crashing the handle of his gun down against Frank’s temple so that he could grab Bert and hold him tight against his chest.

Gerard stumbled but didn’t fall, but his attention immediately drew to Frank and he rushed forward to help him back to his feet where he had fallen on the floor. 

“Shit, Jesus, Frank are you okay?” He whimpered, helping him up slowly as Frank hissed and pressed a hand to the blood running down the side of his face.

“Ouch... Mother _fucker_.” He groaned, scowling deeply at Jeph and clenching his teeth as pain throbbed through his head. The blood felt hot and sticky against his hand and face and he leant heavily against Gerard as he watched Jeph turning Bert round so that his back pressed to his chest, Jeph’s arm like a bar across Bert’s torso, restraining him as he held the gun to the side of his head.

“Alright, now both of you just take a fucking step back.” Jeph barked at Frank and Gerard, the two men glancing at each other and hesitating a moment before doing as he asked. 

Gerard kept his arm close around Frank’s waist, walking backwards a couple feet as his heart beat erratically against his ribs. There was now nothing between Jeph and the door and he knew at any moment he could leave and then they’d really be in trouble. By the time they called the police and got them on the hunt Bert and Jeph would be long gone, but if they tried to stop him he could shoot any or all of them.

Bert was crying harder now, his hands pressed against the arm across his chest though he didn’t try to break out of Jeph’s grasp. He knew if he did he’d just be killed. He knew he needed to think of a way to get them all out of this situation but his mind was blank. Jeph terrified him... He’d never been able to fight him before, why would now be any different? Especially when he was so furious for Bert having ran away in the first place. He could only hope that he’d somehow be able to stop him from hurting Frank and Gerard.

“Now, I’ll ask you again, and if you don’t tell me then I’ll put a bullet in his brain.” Jeph purred darkly, eyeing Gerard with wide, crazy eyes. “Who. The. Fuck. Are. You?” He asked slowly, his body tense and it was clear he was ready to run at any moment. Gerard knew he wouldn’t be able to lunge at him, not without getting one of them killed.

“My name is Gerard.” He said as gently as he could, holding up his free hand that wasnt wrapped around Frank’s waist as a gesture of submission. “This is my boyfriend Frank.” He added, Frank still giving Jeph the best death glare he could muster as he tried to stem the bleeding in his temple. “Why don’t you let Bert go and we can talk...”

“Pfft, do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” Jeph scoffed, his face twisted into an angry scowl. “If I wanna talk to you guys then I’ll do it on _my_ terms, understand!?” He snapped, Gerard nodding quickly as he worried his lower lip between his teeth. 

Bert was growing more and more distressed, by now his crying had got louder and his chest was heaving with the force of his sobs and Gerard’s heart ached to see him caught like this. He desperately wanted to help, but no matter how much he thought he just couldn’t come up with a plan.

“Right, now you fucking tell me how you all know each other.” Jeph demanded once he had taken a deep breath and somewhat composed himself. He gestured the gun between the couple and Bert to indicate who he was talking about as if it wasn’t obvious already, before he slammed the gun back to Bert’s head. The hand that had been resting on Bert’s shoulder had slid up some, and was now tangling into his dirty blonde hair to grip tight, the heel of his palm pressing against Bert’s throat and making his sobs come out choked.

“Please, you’re hurting hi –”

“TELL ME HOW YOU KNOW HIM!” Jeph screamed, interrupting Gerard before he could finish speaking. The artist fell silent immediately, trying to think of what to say. He wasn’t sure the truth would be such a good idea, but he couldn’t come up with a story fast enough.

“We met him in a bar.” Frank spoke up whilst Gerard was still trying to find his tongue, his voice strangely calm and almost monotoned despite his fear and the pain still thumping through his head. “He was hurt so we... we took him to a hospital, got him fixed up. We couldn’t make much sense out of him so we brought him back here until he was composed enough to tell us where he lived and once we found out he had no place to stay we felt like we should let him stay here. He felt like our responsibility.”

Jeph looked at Frank with a frown, his lips slightly parted. He looked as though he wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not, but Frank bravely held his gaze, daring him with his eyes to question him and eventually Jeph sniffed and nodded, moving his gaze back to Gerard who was doing his best not to look utterly terrified. 

“Alright. And what did he tell you about me?” Jeph asked stiffly, Frank going to say ‘nothing’ before he remembered Gerard had already revealed that they knew his name and he promptly snapped his mouth shut again.

“I d – didn’t tell them anything Jeph, I swear!” Bert sobbed, Jeph snarling and gripping tighter to his hair, yanking his head sharply to the side so that Bert howled in pain, his neck cricking and Frank winced, Gerard’s stomach lurching when he half expected Bert’s neck to break entirely. His sobbing had grown worse again and this seemed to make Jeph even angrier.

“Don’t you try to lie to me you little shit! You think I don’t see it when you do!?” He demanded, still gripping tight to Bert’s hair so that a few strands looked in danger of being ripped out entirely. “Tell me what you told them!” He practically screamed, Frank praying that one of the neighbours would hear and investigate, or even better, call the police. But he seriously doubted it, people were too accustomed to hearing arguing round Jersey, this place had a ‘ignore it and it’s not happening’ policy.

“I – I only t – told them your name.” Bert sobbed, his eyes squeezed shut as he bent at an awkward angle. “Th – They saw where you stabbed me so I just t – told them I had argued with my b – boy friend that’s all.” He whimpered, Jeph snarling and turning his angry eyes on Frank and Gerard again.

“And is that all you know?” He snapped at them, both men nodding immediately as they stood close to each other. “Did you call the cops?” He demanded, all three men shaking their heads but it was clear Jeph didn’t believe them.

“Then riddle me this you son of bitch,” He snarled at Bert, yanking his head again so that he would look up at him. “Why is that my boys kept a track of your files and found that you’d been in custody just down the road here?” He demanded, Gerard frowning in confusion as Bert whimpered and sobbed breathlessly, Jeph’s hand still pressed to his throat. 

“You gonna try and tell me that you weren’t being kept there for safety because you’d told them about me?” 

“N – No Jeph, I w – wasn’t I swear.” Bert sobbed, Frank feeling sicker by the second as he watched what was going on, the blood from his head growing tacky now and he ached to just lie down and close his eyes. “P – Please Jeph I was in c – custody for not paying train fare.” Bert insisted, Jeph’s grip relenting slightly in surprise, his eyebrows furrowing.

“What? Train fare?”He repeated, Bert struggling to nod against him, his eyes closed again.

“Y – Yes. I t – tried to leave here so I w – wouldn’t be a burden but I had no money and I... I got caught on the t – train and they kept me in custody f – for a night.” He explained through his tears, Frank nodding to try and show it was true as Gerard just continued to look clueless. He glanced at Frank with questioning eyes but he simply gave him a ‘talk later’ look and Gerard looked back at Jeph, trying not to seem so oblivious.

Jeph was staring at Bert, clearly trying to work out whether to believe him or not. He gazed at him for a long moment, still gripping tight to his hair, it taking him a while to decide he did believe him after all. 

“Alright.” He nodded, looking back to Frank and Gerard with a scowl. “Well then that explains that... but that still doesn’t tell me what I’m gonna have to do with your two little friends.” He purred, Frank gulping as he struggled to stay in the moment and not get lost in the pain in his head. “You were right to try and leave Bert... You might have spared your friends lives that way.”

“NO!” Bert gasped, starting to wriggle and squirm as hard as he could. “JEPH NO! PLEASE, THEY HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING!” He screamed, Jeph growling and pushing Bert away so that he could face him and punch him hard round the face. Bert’s scream was cut off by a garbled intake of breath and Frank jumped as Gerard did when Bert hit the floor, jarring his elbow and curling up into a ball. 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Jeph yelled at him, kicking him sharply in the ribs for good measure before he whirled round and pointed the gun at Frank and Gerard. By now Gerard was struggling to hold back tears of his own and he shook violently as he held Frank tighter to him. All he could think of was Frank, of how he needed to somehow protect him. He would die if he had to, he wouldnt let Frank get killed.

“Now, you two can’t be stupid enough to not realise that you know too much for me to just walk out of here with you alive.” Jeph purred softly, running his hand through his hair as he took a deep breath to compose himself before starting to walk towards the couple. “It’s not your fault, really. I’m afraid my lover has put you in this position somewhat stupidly, but I don’t have any other choice than to deal with it.” He sighed, pretending to be saddened though already the excitement of taking a life was coursing through his veins. His gun felt heavy and reassuring in his hand and he pointed it to Frank’s head first.

“Since you’re already wounded, I’ll put you out of your misery first.” He decided, grinning his twisted smile and Gerard felt as though his heart was trying to explode in his chest. Without thinking he grabbed Frank and yanked him behind him just as Jeph pulled the trigger, Frank too busy trying to take in the whole situation that he stumbled easily behind Gerard as the bullet flew where he had been standing and hit the wall opposite. 

Gerard knew that this was not going to be like a movie where the bad guy kept talking, and he kept a vice like grip on Frank’s wrist as he dropped down to his knees. Frank squeaked in shock and dropped down along with Gerard, the second bullet whizzing over their heads. Jeph snarled in frustration and began to walk towards them, still aiming as Gerard sprung to his feet, dragging Frank behind him.

Frank shook his head, feeling dazed and confused as Gerard dragged him around, dodging behind furniture and getting down on the floor one second then back up again the next. It was all happening so fast that Frank couldn’t keep up, he was just vaguely aware of things smashing as the gun went off again and again. Three bullets... four... six... 

“BERT! BERT COME ON!” Gerard cried, praying that now gunshots were being fired someone would finally call the police. Bert was still quivering on the floor, but at Gerard’s cry he struggled up to his feet and ran towards the door where Gerard was ushering him. 

“Don’t be an idiot.” Jeph warned them, taking careful aim again. Gerard found himself fleetingly wishing he had paid more attention to guns the times he had had to research them for drawing references. The most he knew about Jeph’s gun was that it was a handgun, but that told him nothing about its specific model or more importantly how many bullets it held. All he could do was pray that he was wasting them all as he struggled to keep himself and Frank out of the way of each shot and get themselves and Bert out the door.

Jeph kept his walking slow so that he could aim properly, but he could feel himself growing increasingly angrier and more frustrated each time he missed. He couldn’t deny that he wasn’t exactly a crack shot, he used the gun rarely, preferring things like knives but that was when his victims weren’t running around all over the place. A few shots came close, and when the men reached the door and Bert went tearing down the corridor he knew he had his chance. Gerard was standing back to let Frank out first and Jeph had a split second to aim.

“You’re mine...” He whispered, pointing the gun at the back of Gerard’s head and squeezing the trigger just as he walked straight into the coffee table and fell. 

“FUCK!”

“AAAGHHH!” 

Jeph was now sprawled on the floor, but he looked up eagerly when he heard Gerard’s pained scream. To his dismay the artist didn’t fall down dead, his aim had been lost when he had fallen but the bullet had still struck flesh. Where about’s Gerard was injured he couldn’t tell, the artist already out of the door and racing away with Frank and Bert, but Jeph wasn’t about to give up.

Struggling to his feet he ran across the room and tore out of the doorway in time to see Gerard rounding a corner where he assumed Frank and Bert would already be. There were spots of blood on the floor and the further down the corridor Jeph ran the bigger these spots were. He grinned to himself, feeling excitement flood him at the knowledge that Gerard was bleeding and soon enough would be dead. They’d all be dead, Jeph would make sure of it.

Frank was running between Gerard and Bert, heading for the stairs that would lead them down to the parking lot. Bert was infront but only just. His bruised ribs were making it difficult to run, though he tried to push through the pain. Frank too was slowing, his wounded temple throbbing and he felt as if he was slipping in and out of consciousness every second or too. He wasn’t even aware Gerard was wounded until he felt his hand slipping out of his grip.

“Gee... Gee keep holding me.” Frank whimpered, not wanting to lose his touch and he glanced behind to see why he had let go and immediately stopped. Gerard was hunched over, struggling down the corridor with one hand pressed tight to his side were blood was spreading in his shirt. Already it had made a large stain and Frank felt his heart stop beating for a moment. 

“Oh God... Oh God... Gee... Gerard.” He whimpered, hurrying to his side and wrapping his free arm around his shoulders, supporting his weight as best he could as Gerard grunted in pain.

“M’okay... M’okay just... keep going...” He groaned, his voice strained as pain flared hot and heavy through his body. He felt sick and he wanted nothing more than to just drop down and pass out, but he forced himself forward with Frank’s help, Bert sobbing as he stood by the doorway to the stairs, holding it open for them. 

“Come on! Guys come on, hurry he’s – NO!” Bert glanced over them and saw Jeph rounding the corner, gun held out infront of him ready to aim. Frank winced and squeezed is eyes shut for a second, panic flooding him. He knew they had no time, but the door was so close.

“Come _on_ Gee.” He hissed through clenched teeth, summoning every ounce of strength that he could and practically flinging himself through the doorway, dragging Gerard behind him. Gerard stumbled and his legs gave way, sending him skidding on his knees through the door. For a moment the pain was so intense his vision swam and he felt almost disorientated, Frank struggling to yank him to his feet again and start stumbling down the stairs as gun fire went off behind them.

Bert had given the two men a helpful push through the door, and slammed it shut behind them as fast as he could. He still felt the air move as a bullet flew past his arm, but through some miracle it didn’t hit him and he was able to slam the door shut before he began to race down the stairs too. Blood was thick in his mouth from where Jeph had punched him in the apartment and he was certain a tooth was loose but that was the least of his worries. To his relief Frank was able to run relatively quickly down the stairs whilst still supporting Gerard but Jeph was still close behind them. At this rate Bert knew they’d all be killed one by one before they even reached the parking lot.

“Guys, guys hide!” He begged as he reached the bottom of the stairs, Jeph’s footsteps thundering down them at a rapid pace. “Hide! Here!”

Bert grabbed Gerard and threw him behind the bottom of the staircase. Jeph would see them immediately if he glanced behind, but as long as he kept running forward he would miss them. As expected Frank went wherever Gerard did and he skidded behind the back of the stairs and dropped to his knees beside Gerard who had fallen from the force of Bert’s push.

“Are you fucking insane!” Frank snapped at Bert, but the blonde wasn’t listening. He was the least wounded, he was the fastest runner, and this was his entire fault to begin with. He was their only hope to lead Jeph away and outside.

“Stay there!” He hissed as quietly as he could before he tore down the corridor towards the door they had been heading for. Frank watched him go and opened his mouth to shout a protest but instantly fell silent again when he saw Jeph appearing on the last step. Frank covered his mouth with his hand and pressed himself back, crowding Gerard against the wall and feeling his heart race erratically as he watched the gunman chase after Bert.

Jeph could see Bert disappearing out of the door that led outside and assumed Frank and Gerard were ahead of him. He didn’t even notice the blood had disappeared from the floor and was instead trailing behind him, too busy chasing Bert, determined to catch all three men if not kill them. Out in public it would be risky to kill them, but it would all depend on whether he could catch up with them or not. Either way he wouldn’t let them escape.

Tearing out of the door Jeph immediately spotted Bert not too far ahead of him running across the middle of the parking lot and towards the main road. There was no sign of either Frank or Gerard but Jeph just continued to instinctively run after Bert. He was close, and slowing down due to his aching ribs. Jeph knew he would be able to grab him before he reached the road and then he would worry about the other two.

“Where you gonna run to Bert!?” He shouted, laughing to himself as he chased him. At the sound of his voice Bert began to run faster, blinded by the tears streaking down his face but his adrenaline and fear lent him speed and Jeph snarled as he struggled to close the gap between them. “You’re not going to get away from me Sugar! Not this time!” He cried, focusing on Bert’s back and chasing him right into the main road where cars were speeding down both sides.

Back in the apartment block Frank was helping Gerard weakly to his feet. It had taken them only a second to realise Bert was trying to lead Jeph away and neither man felt like they could just sit and let him be hurt. Surely Jeph wouldn’t shoot him in the middle of the street? 

“You should stay here Gee, I need to get you an ambulance.” Frank whimpered as he looked at the blood stain that was still growing on Gerard’s shirt, the artist never moving his hand from his side. Blood was spreading through his fingers but he shook his head, his teeth gritted as he looked determinedly at the door. 

“No, I’m coming with you.” He insisted, his voice breathless. “Need to... Need to help Bert.” 

Frank was sure that it was his head injury that made him agree to Gerard’s wishes instead of forcing him to sit down, he knew it was ridiculous but he still struggled to the door with Gerard and moved outside with him into the parking lot.

Both men stood still, looking around quickly to spot either Jeph or Bert, and Frank located them just in time to see Bert narrowly miss getting hit by a bus which then promptly collided with Jeph who had just been reaching out to seize him.

“JESUS!” Frank jumped in horror and turned on instinct, burying his face into Gerard’s shoulder as his stomach lurched sickeningly and he struggled not to throw up. Gerard’s eyes were drawn to the scene when he heard the screeching of the buses breaks and cars all around began grinding to a halt. It was obvious someone had been hit and for a moment Gerard felt certain it would be Bert, but then he caught sight of his blonde hair. Bert had come to a stop too, standing in an alley between buildings and staring in horror at the road.

“Oh God...” Gerard breathed, his head spinning sickeningly and he felt his strength leave him.

“Shit!” Frank moved back and fell down to his knees as Gerard collapsed onto the ground. “Gerard! Fuck, Gerard are you okay?” Frank whimpered, lifting him gently into a sitting position. He could see Gerard’s eyelids fluttering as he struggled to remain conscious. He was still staring at Bert and Frank turned his head to look too, meeting Bert’s gaze even from such a long distance and he opened his mouth to cry out but it was too late, Bert was already turning and running away into the darkness between the buildings.

“Son of a bitch.” Frank spat, a lump rising in his throat as he turned to look at Gerard, his heart squeezing and aching horribly when he saw the artist had closed his eyes and was now slumped in his arms, breathing slowly and shallowly. 

“No... No, no, Gee hold on.” Frank whimpered, fumbling for his phone with blood slickened hands. People were starting to appear all around them, drawn to the accident on the road and Frank looked about wildly. “Help us! HELP! PLEASE!” He screamed before he began to sob, his fear taking over him so that he could do nothing but slump against Gerard’s chest and cry loudly as a few people turned away from the road and ran to their side instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank you all again for your amazing comments so far, they honestly mean so much to me! I try to reply to all comments when I can as a token of my appreciation.  
> Just to let you all know as well, this chapter was just a sort of stepping stone really which is why it was shorter than others, and that the next chapter is the last.   
> Hope to find you all there!   
> xo


	23. Chapter twenty three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a tiny mistake about the chapters left... turned out there were two left. Since the first was pretty small and mostly a filler though I combined them together to make one big final chapter. Hopefully it wont seem too disjointed!
> 
> As ever thank you all so much for your kind words regarding this story, and for all the support you've given. I'm thrilled you made it to the end, and though I'll be taking a (hopefully short) hiatus, I hope to hear from you all soon when I start a new story.
> 
> Till then,
> 
> Adieu 
> 
> xo

When Gerard woke up he was for a moment confused and disorientated. His head ached and the pain only increased when he tried to open his eyes and was faced with a blinding light. Immediately he squeezed his eyes shut again, groaning quietly as he lifted a hand and pressed it over his eyelids. His arms felt as if they were made of lead, his whole body seemingly ten times heavier than before. Every inch of him ached and the first thought that entered his conscious mind was that he wished he were dead.

“Gee?” The voice came to Gerard as if from a million miles away. As if it was separated from him by an ocean of water and then some triple glazed glass to boot. But he recognised it… He would always recognise it. It wasn’t the voice of an angel or of God, it was the voice of someone much more important and Gerard forced himself to try and open his eyes again so he would be able to see his gorgeous face. 

“F – Fra… Fr-an… Frankie…” He mewled, his lips and mouth were dry and he felt like his throat had been stuffed with cotton wool. His head thumped with more pain and he squinted through the blinding light for a long moment before it was blocked out by a dark shape. At first it was just a silhouette but the more Gerard looked the more he began to distinguish features and crooked smile lit up his face. “Frankie…”

“Hey Gee.” Frank smiled; keeping his voice soft as he gently took one of Gerard’s hands between both his palms and held it to his chest. “How you feeling lover?” He asked softly, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat and not let Gerard see how upset he had been.

When Gerard had passed out Frank had been certain he was about to lose him for good. He had been distraught and panicking, but the small crowd that had formed around them had managed to pull him away from Gerard’s body just enough to give him some space as someone called for an ambulance. Frank had been comforted by someone, he didn’t even know if they had been a man or a woman he had been so worked up at the time, but they had managed to keep him as composed as possible until the paramedics had arrived and carted both he and Gerard to the hospital.

Frank had been seen to quickly and after only an hour he had been good to go. His head had been checked over and he hadn’t needed stitches, though there had been a lot of concern at the placement of the wound. Frank hadn’t known being hit in the temple was so dangerous and the doctors had been very clear when they told him that if he had been hit any harder it could have ended much worse. As it was he had just needed a wad of cotton wool to get taped over his temple and he had been allowed to just wait for Gerard then.

Frank had known he should call Mikey or Elena, he didn’t know Gerard’s parents numbers or whether he even spoke to them, but he was sure he could ask a doctor to retrieve Gerard’s cell phone from his pocket so he could call someone. He _knew_ he should ask, but in the end he just didn’t have the strength to call for them and make them worry, he could only bring himself to call the only person he could bear to see in that moment – Matt.

Matt had brought Brian with him to the hospital and the pair of them had sat with Frank in the waiting room as they waited to hear news of Gerard. The two men had comforted Frank as he had cried and shook, convinced that Gerard was going to die. Matt had been stern with him, gripping his shoulders and telling him firmly not to assume anything. It had been difficult for all of them, especially as hour after hour had ticked by.

In the end, after multiple police interviews where Frank had been delicately asked to tell in full detail what had happened; and Matt had finally taken the task of calling Mikey and Elena; a doctor had come to them in the waiting room to tell them how Gerard was doing…

“Mmph…” Gerard closed his eyes for a moment and groaned, considering Frank’s question. “Like death.” He finally decided, but the more he woke up the more he remembered and he began to realise he was lucky to be feeling anything at all. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Frank chuckled, his heart aching to know that Gerard was in pain but it was hardly a surprise. He continued to lean over the bed as he looked at him, his face pale and drawn from all his worrying the past few hours. “You’re very lucky, you know that?” He asked, his voice coming out as a broken croak and Gerard looked at him sadly. 

“I guessed I must be.” He tried to chuckle, but in the end it just came out sounding like a pained groan and he struggled to sit up more. 

“Hey, hey stay still.” Frank whimpered instantly, strong hands reaching from the other side and helping Gerard to sit up. The artist jumped in surprise and turned his head quickly to see who it was but sighed in relief when he saw it was only Matt. 

“You need to rest.”

“I know, sorry I… Thanks Matt.” Gerard sighed, smiling weakly at him and seeing for the first time that Brian was also there, sitting beside the bed. He looked tired but he smiled heartily at Gerard and waved a hand up at him.

“We called Mikey.” Matt told him, moving to sit beside Brian. “And your grandmother… She’s going to pick up Mikey from his college and then they’re going to come straight to see you. Elena wanted to come right away but I told her it’d be best if you had a moment to wake up and stuff first.”

“Jesus…” Gerard groaned, running a hand through his hair and feeling his heart squeeze in his chest. He could only imagine how much Elena was panicking, and Mikey too… He didn’t want to worry them. He hadn’t wanted to worry anyone but even in his dazed state he could see that all three men in the room had been worrying a lot. Frank looked positively ill and Gerard squeezed his hand gently where Frank was still holding it.

“Are you alright? You got hit didn’t you?” He mewled, looking at the patch over Frank’s temple but the porn star shrugged off his concern, lifting Gerard’s hand enough to be able to kiss his palm gently. 

“I told you I’m fine.” He whispered, not caring about his own injury. It was nothing compared to Gerard’s and he just wanted him to be okay. “He only hit me… He shot you.” He sighed, his voice breaking a little and he looked at Gerard through the tears building in his eyes. “Can you remember all of it?”

“I think so.” Gerard nodded, biting his lip and trying to replay everything that had happened in his head. It hurt to think, and he really wanted nothing more than to just lie back down and go to sleep but he knew he needed to stay awake, for Frank’s sake. 

“I remember being shot, and seeing Jeph get hit by the bus… Then I can’t remember anything else. Is Bert alright?” Gerard suddenly felt panic course through him, realising that Bert was missing from the room. He couldn’t remember seeing him outside and he wondered if he had been shot or hit by the bus too. 

“Jesus, he’s not… He didn’t –”

“He’s fine, Bert’s fine.” Frank quickly cut Gerard off, kissing his palm again and again before he looked at him, his brow furrowing as he felt anger for the blonde course through him. He had been trying not to think about Bert too much, still feeling wounded to know he had just ran away… Just abandoned them there on the street. 

“I saw him on the opposite side of the road, he wasn’t hurt as far as I can tell. He ran off down some alley, I don’t know where he is.”

For a long moment Gerard was silent, staring at Frank in surprise before he slumped down against the pillows he was propped against and lowered his gaze to his blanket covered knees with a small ‘oh’. He wanted to believe that Bert hadn’t just abandoned them, but he certainly couldn’t deny that it seemed that way. After everything they had done for him, after taking a _bullet_ because of his crazy ex Gerard had thought he would stick by them. He had known they had been hurt, he had even tried to lure Jeph away from them… Gerard couldn’t understand why after seeing Jeph get ran over Bert hadn’t just turned and come back to them. 

“You’re sure he wasn’t hurt… Did anyone try to follow him?” He asked uncertainly, not wanting to believe that Bert would betray them after everything that had happened. 

“No. Funnily enough I was too busy trying to take care of you.” Frank said a little snappily, Gerard wincing at his tone of voice and Matt got half out of his chair as he threw Frank a warning look but the shorter man had already realised his mistake and he shook his head at Matt, looking apologetically at him until he sat back down before he looked at Gerard. 

“I’m sorry, I just meant… I was so worried about you at the time Bert was the last thing on my mind. I’m sorry.” He whispered, kissing Gerard’s knuckles but the older man only shook his head and apologised too.

“I know, I’m sorry too, it was a stupid question.” He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and running a hand over them as his head swam. He felt awful, but he didn’t want anyone to worry anymore about him. At least he was awake. He knew he had been shot in the side but though the pain there was immense it wasn’t enough to distract him from the other aches and pains throughout his body. “So uh… How long have I been out?”

“About six hours.” Frank sighed, Gerard shuddering and breathing out a long exhale. Part of him was surprised he had been unconscious for so long, though he supposed it could have been worse. 

“The doctors had to put you under for a while… You lost a lot of blood, almost three pints, you went into shock.” Frank took a deep breath as he felt the lump in his throat grow worse. He struggled to keep his voice level and not to cry, but he was still emotional after all the worrying he had been through. “Luckily the bullet didn’t hit any of your bones or organs, it was through and through. But if it had you almost certainly would have died, we thought we were gonna lose you as it was.”

“Alright Frank.” Matt said gently, sensing that the younger man was getting himself worked up again, tears starting to spill down his cheeks and he got up to stand beside him and lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. Gerard felt guilt wash through him for causing Frank to cry and he held his hand tighter, looking at him with apologetic eyes. 

“I’m sorry…” 

“God, what are you apologising for?” Frank scoffed, wiping at his eyes with his free hand and even managing to chuckle a little. “It’s not your fault. I’m just… Fuck, I’m so glad you’re okay.” He said shakily, Gerard nodding and hesitating a moment before he opened his arms up to him. He wasn’t sure if hugging him would hurt, but he couldn’t not do it. 

Frank looked at Gerard’s opened arms and released a small choke before he leant forward and wrapped his arms around him. He forced himself to be delicate, though the urge to grab Gerard and just crush him to his chest was strong. He hugged him tight and kissed his cheek, whispering how scared he had been into his ear and whimpering over how much he loved him. He had told himself he wasn’t going to do this, but he just couldn’t hold the words back.

“I swear to God if you had died I don’t know what I would have done. I was so scared Gee, I thought I was going to lose you and I… I was so fucking scared. I’m so glad you’re okay, I love you so much. Like, God, so _so_ much. I need you Gee, I can’t lose you I just can’t.”

“Shh, it’s okay. I know… I know.” Gerard sighed, gently stroking Frank’s back and closing his eyes as he held him. He could hear that Frank was crying softly but he didn’t mind, he managed to keep back his own tears though. He supposed part of him was still trying to come to terms with all that had happened, but feeling Frank’s warm body in his arms was soothing him more than anything. 

“I love you too okay… So much…”

Matt smiled sadly as he looked at the two men and moved to go and sit beside Brian again. They kept silent, letting them have their moment though Matt smiled comfortingly at his partner and reached out to hold Brian’s hand and lace their fingers. Both men had been shocked to hear about what had happened, and were still getting their heads around all that Frank had told them. They had been just as scared of losing Gerard as Frank had been, but they understood that right now Frank and Gerard just needed to be comforted by each other.

When Frank eventually pulled back he pressed his lips gently to Gerard’s and both men relaxed into the kiss for a moment. It felt incredible to feel each other’s lips and Gerard held weakly onto Frank’s shoulders as they worked their lips against one another’s for a minute before Frank slowly pulled away. By now his tears had stopped and he was calming down again.

“I uh… I spoke to the police by the way.” He sighed, feeling drained and like he just wanted to sleep as he slowly sat down on the edge of the hospital bed, keeping his hands in Gerard’s. He knew that the older man was probably too exhausted to want to talk about this, but it was important that Frank told him now. 

“I didn’t tell them the whole truth…”

“Alright.” Gerard sighed, not surprised Frank hadn’t. He hadn’t even considered that the police would have been involved and he knew that he needed to know Frank’s story so that his would match when they undoubtedly came to talk to him. “What did you tell them?”

Frank glanced at Matt and Brian, biting his lip. Although they already knew the truth of what had happened and also knew the version of events Frank had told the police he still felt embarrassed to talk around them. He just felt ashamed over the fact he had lied to the police but he also knew it had been necessary.

“Well, they were obviously called because you were shot, and cos’ of the bus and everything, but none of the eyewitnesses at the scene knew anything other than that Jeph had ran out into the road.” He explained softly, Gerard nodding as he gazed at him through tired but attentive eyes. “I told them that Jeph had been in the flat when we got home but that we didn’t know who he was. I said we had forgot to lock the door and that he must have got in there just as we arrived back because he hadn’t taken anything yet. I told them we thought he was a thief and that you shouted at him to get out, and that when he saw us he panicked and pulled out the gun.” 

“Did you tell them Bert was with us?” Gerard asked softly, wondering if any of the witnesses on the street had seen Jeph chasing Bert and knowing that if they had then Frank would have needed to have included him in the story. 

“Well… I mentioned him, but I didn’t say we knew him.” Frank replied quietly, biting his lip as he hoped that was okay. He hadn’t wanted to tell them about their affiliation with Bert just in case it caused a whole lot of other drama. He didn’t trust the blonde anymore, and he didn’t want to tell the police about taking care of him since then he’d need to give them a reason why without including Jeph and he had just been unable to think that complicatedly.

“I told them that when Jeph got the gun out you tried to calm him down and reason with him, but that I panicked and ran out the door. I told them that I saw Bert out in the corridor, just walking down it and that I grabbed him and begged him for help. I said that the next thing I knew you were rushing out the door and that Jeph shot you just as you were going through it. The rest I just kept mostly as the truth… That me, you and Bert all ran downstairs and that I pulled you behind the staircase to hide but that Bert didn’t follow. I said that by the time we got outside Jeph was already in the road and that I didn’t see where Bert went.”

“Alright…” Gerard nodded, taking it in and deciding the story seemed believable to him. “Sounds good, Frankie.” He sighed, feeling so incredible drained. He closed his eyes again for a moment, loosely holding Frank’s hands. “I’ll make sure my story matches yours… Do you know what happened to Jeph?” He asked quietly, Frank nodding as he gazed worriedly at him.

“Yeah, he was announced dead at the scene.” He said gently, Gerard’s eyes fluttering open again so that he could look at Frank in slight surprise.

“Wow… Really?”

“Uhuh.” Frank nodded, biting his lip as he leant a little closer to Gerard and tenderly kissed his forehead. “The bus was only going like thirty miles an hour but… Well, it’s still a bus.” He shrugged, smiling weakly at Gerard. “I heard something about head trauma so I guess that’s what killed him specifically. But hey, at least he’s dead right?” He asked quietly, not sure if that was a heartless thing for him to say or not. Jeph was a person after all, and death was rarely a positive thing, but then he had nearly killed Gerard…

“Well I guess it’s a good thing we won’t have to worry about him anymore.” Gerard nodded, biting his lip and looking away from Frank for a moment as he thought about it. He was glad Jeph was dead, deep down, and he hoped that Bert knew he was gone so he would know he didn’t have to worry about him anymore either. But then thinking about Bert just made him feel even sadder… He couldn’t believe he had just run away.

“So, any news of when we can get out of here?”

“Not for another few days I’m afraid, Mr Way.” A voice from across the room answered Gerard’s question and he jumped in surprise, turning his gaze to a doctor who was just walking in through the door. She was carrying a clipboard and she smiled warmly at all four men as she shut the door behind her. “Though it is good to see you awake, we were worried it would take a few days for you to gain consciousness.” 

Gerard stared blankly at the doctor, his lips slightly parted. She was checking a line of machines beside the bed, writing things down on her clipboard with a serious expression. Everyone kept silent, waiting for her verdict. When she finally turned to face Gerard she was smiling again, her eyes bright and kind.

“I’m Doctor Bennet; I was with the team of surgeons who treated you earlier today. I imagine your friends here have told you mostly of what happened?”

“Well… The basics. I know the wound was uh…” Gerard frowned, trying to remember how Frank had put it. “Through and through?”

“That’s right.” Bennet nodded, turning a page over her clipboard and smiling at Gerard. “You lost a substantial amount of blood but not so much that we had to do a transfusion. We’ve put you on a saline drip for now just to add up the liquid in your body until you’ve replaced the blood you’ve lost. It should only be a couple of days.” She assured him, tapping a small tube that was inserted into the back of his hand, attached to a bag of clear liquid hanging beside the bed. “You’re going to feel very tired for a couple of weeks I would imagine, just whilst your body gets to full health again, and you’ll need painkillers for the bullet wound for a month at least but we can explain that all properly when you sign out.”

“Okay.” Gerard mumbled, trying to take it all in when he really just wanted to sleep.

“There’s also a policeman outside who is eager to talk to you as soon as possible. Do you feel up to it now or would you prefer him to come back tomorrow?” Bennet asked, all bright smiles and sparkling eyes. Gerard resisted the urge to groan and bury his face into his pillow as Frank scowled.

“Tell him to come back tomorrow, he needs to rest.” He said firmly, a little annoyed that a doctor would even entertain the idea of having Gerard questioned now but Gerard sighed and shook his head, waving his hand flippantly.

“No no, it’s fine. I’ll talk to him now, send him in.” He decided, Frank glaring at him but he didn’t protest.

“As you wish.” Doctor Bennet smiled, nodding her head and then smiling at each man in turn before she turned and left the room. Frank sighed and looked at Gerard, squeezing his hand gently and frowning at him though his eyes were still caring.

“I wish you’d just rest.” He muttered, Gerard meeting his gaze and chuckling a little.

“I may as well just get it all out of the way.” He shrugged, lifting Frank’s hand to his lips so he could kiss his palm. “Once it’s all cleared up I can rest as much as I want.” He pointed out, Frank pursing his lips but he didn’t argue, supposing that Gerard was right. Besides, he couldn’t be mad at him when he was just so glad to see him alive.

The two men fell silent then, just gazing at each other and Frank sighed and slowly lowered his head when he felt his heart miss a beat. He was so in love it was ridiculous, and he just wished Gerard was strong enough to handle him diving on him and kissing him for all he was worth. He wanted to get out of this damn hospital and just be with his lover, to take him home and take care of him and just forget everyone else for a while. He wouldn’t go into work, he sure as hell wouldn’t let Gerard go into work, and they could just be together…

“Mr Way?” Frank was snapped out of his daydreams by a soft male voice, when he looked up there was a policeman in the doorway, someone different to who he had spoken to but he seemed pleasant enough. He was smiling gently at Gerard as he approached the bed, a notebook and pen already held in his hands. “I’m officer Neil. I just need to ask you a few questions, if that’s all right?”

“Sure.” Gerard sighed, gesturing for the cop to sit down in the last spare seat available on the opposite side of the bed to Matt and Brian. Officer Neil smiled and thanked the artist, sitting in the indicated chair though he immediately turned his gaze onto the other men in the room.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask your friends to leave.” He said apologetically, Frank immediately scowling and tensing his body, prepared to fight the guy over it. “It’s just, this is a very serious matter as I’m sure you understand, and I need to take your statement with you alone.” Neil directed his speech to Gerard, casually ignoring how Frank was silently seething barely a foot away from him, his fists clenched.

Gerard glanced at Brian and Matt who nodded and got to their feet without protest. They smiled comfortingly at the artist before disappearing quietly out of the room together without another word, but Frank didn’t so much as budge. Gerard couldn’t help but laugh slightly, squeezing Frank’s hand gently so he would look at him.

“You heard the man, off you go.” He said playfully, Frank glaring at him and resisting the urge to snarl at the policeman.

“I’m not going anywhere without you.” He said strongly, Neil opening his mouth to speak but Gerard spoke over him.

“It’ll only be for a little while Frankie, and I’ll be fine. I’m not going anywhere.” He assured him, holding his gaze and just smiling comfortingly as Frank stared at him. At first the shorter man only tensed up more, but then eventually he groaned and relaxed, nodding with a scowl.

“Fine! I’ll wait outside.” He grumbled, leaning forward to quickly peck Gerard’s lips before he hopped off the bed and walked to the door, glaring threateningly at Neil the whole time before he slowly disappeared from the room and reluctantly shut the door behind him. Gerard bit back a smirk and looked to the policeman who was chuckling quietly. 

“Protective, isn’t he?” He smiled, Gerard laughing quietly as he nodded.

“Yeah, he can be.” He agreed, feeling fairly relaxed even though his body still hurt and the pain in his side was getting gradually worse. He did his best to push it out of mind, wanting to focus whilst Neil asked him the questions.

Outside the room Frank was anxiously pacing the corridor, hating to be away from Gerard. Even though he knew he was being ridiculous and that the older man was perfectly alright he just wanted to be in there with him, holding his hand and making sure he really was fine. Opposite him Matt smirked and rolled his eyes fondly, grabbing Frank by the wrist to make him stop pacing.

“Calm down man, Jesus, he’s fine.” He scoffed, Frank glaring at him though his eyes showed his nerves.

“I know that.” He said a little snappily, biting his lip and glancing behind himself at the door. “I just worry about him…” He sighed, feeling again that sickening lurch of the stomach he had experienced when he had been running through the apartment block and had turned to see for the first time that Gerard had been shot. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to him…”

“Nothing’s gonna happen to him. He’s with a cop, he’s safe.” Matt said gently but firmly, turning Frank away from the door so he would stop staring at it. “That gunner guy is dead and you’re both perfectly _fine_. You’re gonna go home together in a couple days and it’s all gonna be okay. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Frank nodded, agreeing with a small pout though he couldn’t help but smile and shove Matt gently after a moment. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Now come on, I’m dying for a coffee. We may as well hunt down some food too whilst Gee’s busy.” He chuckled, taking Brian’s hand in his and guiding Frank along with his other hand as he led the way down the corridor to find the hospital cafeteria. 

xXx

By the time Gerard had finished talking to the police he was feeling drained again, and Frank had simply come back into the room and sat beside the bed as he watched his lover drift to sleep. Doctor Bennet returned to check Gerard over again and assured Frank that all of his vitals were stable and they were keeping him in just in case, and to administer morphine and the saline drip. Frank had trusted her judgement, but he had still stayed awake none the less so he could keep an eye on Gerard and just make sure he really was fine.

Matt and Brian had left late in the evening. They had offered to stay but there were no beds and technically no visitors were allowed to stay the night and what with Frank already staying they didn’t want to push their luck. They promised to return in the morning and then Frank had been left with nothing to do but to watch as Gerard slept.

As the night wore on Frank found himself thinking a lot… Thinking about their relationship and his job, about the time they spent together and the restrictions he was laying on them. He knew that Gerard was fine about him being a porn star, and that when this whole thing was over and they were living their normal lives again it would just be expected that Frank would go on to keep making his videos and all would be well. They could even get tested so that they could start having sex without condoms, something Frank was now especially eager to try considering all that had happened. He didn’t want to lose Gerard, or even die himself, without having had that perfect closeness with him. He loved him more than anything, and he wanted to prove it.

He thought back to the time they had spent with Elena in the restaurant, how they had told her that Frank worked in a guitar shop. It seemed perfectly plausible to him. He loved guitars, and he could play one pretty well. He had actually always dreamt of being a musician, in fact, he wasn’t even sure anymore how he had ended up in the adult entertainment industry. He had wanted to make music, not porn. He knew now that that ship had sailed though, he had once dreamt of being famous but now he had tasted fame and it left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

Frank knew that if by some luck he managed to get famous for music instead eventually his ‘fans’ would discover his old videos and it would become some huge scandal. He guessed he could risk it but he didn’t really feel the same passion for making music that he used to. He still loved the idea of playing his guitar and making his own songs, but more for himself than for other people. And if he worked in a guitar shop he could do that. He could just jam whenever he had a spare moment, maybe even teach some kids how to play. He could make some of the instruments too, he was pretty sure he’d be able to do it, he’d always been a pretty hands on guy. In fact, the more Frank thought about it the more it appealed to him.

He could quit his job tomorrow if he wanted to and set up his own shop. His videos had gained him enough money that it was perfectly possible. Sure it was a gamble as to whether the shop would do well or not but Frank was certain that if Gerard supported him then he could do it. He could do anything with Gerard by his side…

Frank looked over at his lover then, smiling to himself and gently stroking his thumb over the back of Gerard’s hand. He looked peaceful… content. He didn’t look as if he was in pain, in fact he seemed to just be sweetly dreaming and it helped Frank relax. He moved to curl up in the armchair he was sat in, tucking his legs beneath himself and then resting his head down on the bed. He gazed at Gerard for as long as he could before exhaustion began to sink into him and he couldn’t stop his eyes from closing.

Finally, almost twenty four hours after the whole shooting had began Frank managed to get some sleep.

xXx

“Grandma, seriously you don’t need to do this.” Gerard groaned, laughing lightly as Elena flitted about his apartment, dusting the surfaces and ordering Mikey about. The youngest Way had been forced to mop the kitchen floor and then vacuum the living room and bedroom for Frank and Gerard, the couple left to sit on the couch together and do nothing more than lift their feet when Mikey pushed the vacuum past.

“Oh nonsense, I’m glad to do it.” Elena beamed, spraying polish everywhere and making the whole place smell of lemon rather than the stale dusty smell it had acquired whilst they had been away. Gerard had been staying at Elena’s for the past four months, healing slowly and commuting to work from there once he had been strong enough to do so. He’d had a few tough days where he’d had to call in sick and work from her house, but he had mostly been fine. Frank had stayed with him for the first two weeks and had then came to visit every day or as much as he could as the months rolled by. Mikey had been back to college but was now on Christmas vacation and had begrudgingly agreed to help clean Gerard’s apartment with Elena now that Gerard had returned.

Gerard had hoped to come back home two months ago, but Elena had been overprotective and insisted on him staying with her for as long as he could bear. It had worked out with Frank since Elena’s house was closer to his apartment, just a small cheap place he stayed at when he wasn’t away on ‘business’. Recently though he had been in Jersey constantly, working at getting himself his own store and setting up and only doing a few photo shoots and solo videos when he needed a little extra cash. 

“Thanks for doing this.” Gerard sighed, smiling at Mikey who chuckled and shrugged. 

“Don’t mention it, you can clean my place when I get one.” He smirked, shoving Gerard lightly before carrying the vacuum back to the cupboard he had got it from as Gerard chuckled and leant closer to Frank. 

He was planning to go with him in the morning to take a look at Frank’s shop which was now fully set up and had been in business for two weeks. Gerard couldn’t wait to see it, he had been eager to help set it up but Frank had been determined to do it on his own. Plus Gerard’s wound still pained him sometimes when he did any heavy lifting, but Frank knew the artist didn’t like to admit that.

Christmas was now only two weeks away and Elena had been very disappointed that Gerard wouldn’t continue to live with her over Christmas but the artist was going stir crazy being away from his own home. He and Frank would still spend Christmas day at Elena’s but Gerard couldn’t wait to decorate his own apartment and actually be able to have sex with Frank without having to worry about his grandmother hearing him. Having to sneak quietly to his room like a pair of horny teenagers hiding from their parents had been exciting at first but now it was just infuriating. 

Frank glanced at Gerard as they sat together, smirking when their eyes met. It seemed they both only had one thing on their mind now that they were back in Gerard’s apartment and they struggled to keep straight faces as they waited for Elena and Mikey to finish their cleaning spree. 

Once the apartment had been cleaned from top to bottom Elena was finally satisfied and she grinned as she made her way into the kitchen to cook them all dinner. They had bought some groceries on the way, Elena had even paid for it all making Gerard feel like a child or something. He didn’t mind her doting on him so much, but he wished she would stop. His wound was fine now, it was already just a pink scar and soon it would turn pearlescent and be out of mind. He got by from day to day with no trouble, it only pained him every now and then but the hospital had assured him that it would get better and better every day. It would never fully stop giving him trouble, that was just the price to pay after getting shot. But Gerard certainly didn’t need to be babied.

“Grandma let me help you.” He called, getting to his feet to help Elena in the kitchen but she scoffed and shook her head as she tied an apron round her waist. 

“Absolutely not!” She scolded, pointing a wooden spoon at Gerard. “Sit yourself back down and chat to your brother, I don’t need any help.” She said sternly, Gerard groaning and going to complain but then suddenly Frank was prancing past him, practically skipping into the kitchen as he grabbed a second apron from by the cooker.

“Let me help you Elena! I love cooking.” He beamed, his sparkling eyes impossible to resist and Elena melted instantly, giggling and smiling as she shook her head.

“Oh Frankie, you really don’t have to.” She laughed, though she didn’t stop him from putting on the apron and grabbing all the vegetables ready to start chopping. Gerard scowled and rolled his eyes, still stood in the doorway but both Elena and Frank were ignoring him now.

“Grandma I want to help.” He whined, hating to see her doing everything for him but Elena only scoffed and glared at him.

“Gerard for goodness sake, I won’t ask you again. Go and sit with your brother.” She ordered, Gerard frowning and folding his arms in a huff as Frank giggled quietly.

“You’re letting Frank help.”

“Gerard!” Elena snapped, slamming her spoon down and turning to glare at Gerard with her hands on her hips. It was a look both Gerard and Mikey had received many times as children when they were getting up to no good and on instinct Gerard jumped and scuttled out of the kitchen to sit beside Mikey on the sofa instead. Elena smirked and turned back to her cooking with a smug grin, Frank still chuckling quietly to himself. Without Gerard knowing they glanced at each other and then quickly shared a high five.

Gerard sighed and pouted sulkily to himself, glancing at Mikey and sharing a bemused look before they both shrugged and then turned to look back at the TV. Mikey had put on a movie and so they just sat quietly together, making quiet comments about it every now and then but mostly they just sat comfortably together. When Frank glanced at them from the kitchen he couldn’t help but smile. He knew the brothers were close and he loved seeing them just spend time together.

Once Elena and Frank had finished cooking they all sat together at the small kitchen table, laughing and chatting as they ate. Elena poured plenty of wine for them all, except for Mikey who had the task of driving her home since he was staying with her. He still joked around with them all though, sniggering as he told Frank stories from their childhood and made it his mission to embarrass Gerard as much as he could.

“I remember when we were like, six or something, we went to visit grandma at the bakery she worked at right? And... Oh God...” Mikey began laughing to himself as Frank grinned, Gerard groaning as he knew where this was going.

“Mikey, just shut up and eat your dinner.” He growled but Frank smirked.

“No no, carry on Mikey I think I need to hear this.” He grinned, Mikey nodding and turning to Frank, taking a deep breath to calm his laughter.

“Well. At this bakery they had a new guy just start who we’d never met before. He was pretty cool, into comic books and stuff –”

“And totally gorgeous.” Elena added in, sighing as she swirled her wine round her glass and smiled wistfully at the ceiling. “Tall, slim and handsome. He had dark hair and these stunning green eyes, oh Frankie you would have loved him.” She purred, Frank sniggering as Gerard slowly turned redder and Mikey grinned mischievously.

“Well, Gerard certainly did.” He drawled, making the older man kick him hard under the table but Mikey only laughed loudly along with Frank. “God it was hilarious! This guy was giving us freshly baked cookies and telling us about superman and stuff, just being nice ya know? And Gerard just spent the whole time staring at him with these goo goo eyes. He must’ve made the poor guy so uncomfortable.” Mikey snorted, laughing still as he took a sip of his drink and Gerard groaned.

“That was about the first time I started to get my suspicions that he might be gay.” Elena winked at Frank before smiling warmly at Gerard. “That and the fact he had such a love for feather boas.”

“Okay, can we stop talking about me now.” Gerard groaned, pouting though his eyes sparkled with life as Frank laughed and shoved him gently. “I was not giving that guy goo goo eyes. I was six years old okay I wasn’t attracted to anyone, all I cared about was superheroes.”

“And feather boas.” Mikey added, causing Frank to fall about laughing again and Gerard groaned, laughing a little himself as he shoved Frank and shook his head.

“I hate you all okay, I hope you know that.” He smirked, Elena giggling as Frank and Mikey clung to each other through their laughter. To Elena the picture was all too perfect... Seeing Gerard so hopelessly in love with such a wonderful man, to be able to sit with them both and share a meal with them and Mikey and laugh and for it to just feel as homely as this. She had no doubt that Gerard and Frank were perfect for each other and she truly believed they were going to be together for a very long time.

After the meal was finished and the four had chatted for another couple hours Elena and Mikey finally took their leave. Elena hugged both Frank and Gerard tight to her for a long while, kissing both their cheeks and smiling as she said goodbye to them, reminding them to be over bright and early Christmas day so she could open gifts with them before dinner. Gerard chuckled and promised they would, smiling as they hugged Mikey quickly too and then waved them goodbye, Gerard waiting until they disappeared down the corridor before he slowly shut the door.

“Well, that was a nice evening.” He commented as he turned round, smirking when he saw Frank had moved and draped himself across the couch, grinning deviously at him.

“Mhmm... it was...” He purred his agreement, grinning as Gerard smirked and made his way over to him. “I thought they’d never leave though. I’ve been dying to just get you alone all day.” He sighed dramatically, sitting up as Gerard sat down on the sofa beside him and he was quick to turn and plonk himself in Gerard’s lap, facing him. “Hey lover...”

“Hey.” Gerard laughed softly, resting his hands on Frank’s waist where he was straddling his lap. “What’d you want to get me all alone for huh?” He asked playfully, sighing and closing his eyes when Frank leant forward to start kissing gently up the slope of his neck. “Oh...”

“Guess what came in the post today...” Frank purred, his voice low and seductive as he kissed up towards Gerard’s ear and began nibbling on the lobe.

“Mm... What?” Gerard asked softly, smiling as Frank’s breath tickled his neck, making him quiver slightly, his body already heating as he anticipated what was to come. God, it was going to feel so good to be able to do whatever they wanted without having to worry that anyone was going to hear them.

“You know our tests we took?” Frank purred, still kissing gently as he referred back to a full STD screening both men had taken together just a couple weeks prior. Although Frank no longer needed to do that because of quitting his job, he had told Gerard he thought it was only fair they proved to each other they were both clean despite already knowing they were just so they could make that real commitment to each other. 

“Mhmm... They came back?” Gerard smiled. Not nervous at all since he already knew neither of them had anything. Frank smiled and nodded, pulling back from where he was still kissing at Gerard’s neck to look at him.

“Uhuh. We’re both clean.” He beamed. He of course had known that would be the case but it was still good to see it there in paper form, it was still good to know that he and Gerard could go bare together and that it would be perfectly safe. The very thought alone was enough to get Frank hard. “Now I get to do whatever I want with you...”

“Mm... Like shower sex?” Gerard smirked playfully, laughing as Frank nodded and leant forward to meet him in a soft kiss.

“Mhmm... Like shower sex...” He nodded, kissing Gerard gently and smiling against his lips. 

It didn’t take long for the two men to get lost in each other’s soft kisses, the touches light at first but growing slowly more passionate as minutes ticked by. Neither man was in a rush to do this, they had been waiting for this day for months and they wanted to take their time and savour every second.

Gerard sighed and wrapped his arms tighter around Frank, pulling his body against his own until no gaps were between them. Frank tangled his hands into Gerard’s hair and held on firmly but without tugging too much, smiling as he kissed him long and slow and deep. 

“Mm...” Gerard sighed, arching under Frank’s touch and just feeling incredible. It had been too long since they’d been able to do this without worrying about anything and he smiled as he worked his lips against Frank’s, their tongues entwining for a moment before drawing back. Gerard sucked on Frank’s lower lip and then nibbled against it, chuckling quietly with him before he broke the kiss so that he could nuzzle his lips against the base of Frank’s throat and kiss up.

“Oh...” Frank sighed, closing his eyes and tilting his head back as Gerard kissed his way beneath his chin and then over it, kissing all the way back to his lips before they met in another, more heated kiss. 

For a long while the two men kept their hands above the belt, just working on kissing each other until their lips felt swollen and their breathing was heavy. Frank had started to push his hips down against Gerard’s, rutting needily against him as both men’s erections strained in their pants. Neither could resist any longer and Frank growled as he slid off Gerard’s lap and pulled the older man up with him.

“Bedroom.” He panted against his lips, Gerard nodding and continuing to kiss Frank as they pawed at each other and stumbled together into the bedroom which Mikey had fully cleaned for them. The bed was freshly made and perfectly neat, but pillows were soon kicked everywhere as the two men fell down onto it and began to roll around. They chuckled breathlessly as they awkwardly tried to tear off clothes without breaking the kiss too much, their arms getting stuck in sleeves and their legs in their jeans until at last they were finally both naked on the bed.

“Ugh, thank _God_.” Frank groaned, laughing softly as he lay down on top of Gerard and pinned his wrists above his head so that he could lean down and kiss him fiercely. Gerard groaned and bucked his hips up, desperately seeking friction against his erection as he kissed Frank hungrily. 

In the few months he had been at Elena’s whenever he and Frank could sneak away together they would usually just share quick messy hand or blowjobs, but the few times they had had sex Gerard had continued to bottom and he had now lost all fear towards it and found that he actually much preferred it to being on top; just as Frank had predicted.

“Mmph... Mmm....” Gerard groaned, allowing Frank to just ravage his mouth as they lay on the bed together. They were both achingly hard and Gerard was eager to feel all of Frank as soon as possible. “Fuck... Frankie, baby I want you so bad... Please...” He mewled, tugging gently at Frank’s hair and sliding one hand down his body to grip at his ass and pull him closer as they rubbed against each other. Frank groaned into Gerard’s mouth and sucked hard against his lower lip before breaking.

“Fuck, me too.” He gasped, bucking his hips down to grind their cocks together before forced himself to stop so that he could lean across and grab the lube from the bedside drawer. His fingers brushed against small square packets and he grinned knowing they weren’t going to be needing _those_ anymore. 

“Mm... Gee, I can’t wait to feel all of you.” Frank groaned, turning back to his lover and kissing him passionately again as he snapped the cap of the lube open and began working it over his fingers. Gerard groaned and nodded, spreading his legs wide in invitation as he ran his hands all over Frank.

Frank kissed Gerard again for a long moment before he began to trail his kisses down his body, starting just beneath his ear and sucking and nibbling his way down to his chest, over his nipples and then further to his midriff. The whole time Gerard quivered with anticipation, groaning quietly and whimpering as his cock throbbed and ached.

“Mmph... God Gee, I feel like we haven’t done this in ages.” Frank groaned, nibbling down Gerard’s thighs as he waited for the older man to position a pillow under his lower back to help lever his ass up so Frank could start rubbing his fingertips gently between the globes of his ass.

“A – Ah! M – Me too Frankie... Nnghh... Feels so good.” He groaned, arching his back slightly and gasping as Frank moved his kisses up his inner thigh to breathe lightly over his balls. He gazed up at his lover through his eyelashes, smirking as he slowly lapped his tongue against his balls and then slowly sucked one into his mouth as he nudged the first finger inside Gerard.

“Oh fuck!” Gerard gasped, covering his mouth with his hands to stifle his moans before he remembered they weren’t at Elena’s anymore and he moved his hand away again, moaning freely and encouraging Frank with broken, passionate phrases. 

Frank sighed and groaned a little himself, moving to lick away from Gerard’s balls and up the length of his shaft as he worked his finger in and out of him. He loved being able to hear him moaning so openly and whimpering for more, there was no sound more beautiful to Frank and he was quick to suck Gerard into his mouth as he pressed a second finger inside him.

Frank sighed in quiet delight and began to bob his head up and down as he thrust his fingers deep and slow, scissoring them to stretch Gerard open. He swirled his tongue around his tip and gathered the taste of the pre cum building there, causing his own cock to twitch where it hung engorged and heavy between his legs. He was desperate to touch himself but he resisted, knowing he would cum too soon if he did.

For a long while Frank just focussed on sucking Gerard and prepping him, driving him to the edge of orgasm before he pulled away when Gerard tugged on his hair and begged him to stop. Frank grinned as he leant back, drawing his fingers out of his lover and licking his taste off his lips. Gerard gazed at him through half lidded eyes, panting softly and wincing as his cock twitched painfully. He felt close to cumming but his pleasure soon subsided to a bearable pitch as Frank crawled up his body to meet him in a tender kiss.

“You ready love?” Frank purred, kissing gently along Gerard’s jaw and cheekbones before pecking his lips gently again. He picked up the lube again and poured some into his palm to start rubbing down the length of his erection, working his fist over himself and moaning quietly as Gerard slid his hands up his back.

“Mmm... God, I’m so ready.” Gerard whispered, his voice somewhat slurred from the pleasure he was feeling. He couldn’t wait to feel Frank inside him and as soon as the younger man pressed his tip against his ass Gerard began to push himself down, desperately trying to get Frank inside him as fast as possible.

Frank groaned and pressed forward a tiny bit faster though he was still careful not to move too quickly despite Gerard’s eagerness. He was still taken away by how well Gerard responded to bottoming after all the time it had taken to convince him to try, and Frank moaned huskily as his cock throbbed. He knew he wasn’t going to last long at this rate, as he sank inch by inch into his lover the sensation of being able to feel him skin on skin was almost too much.

“Oh God...” He breathed, tucking his face into Gerard’s neck as he pressed inside him until he couldn’t move any deeper. For a minute both men just held perfectly still, panting together and clutching one another tight. Gerard’s fingers were pressing hard against Frank’s tattooed back and he whimpered as he lifted his hips further and gasped for breath. Feeling Frank bare inside him was making his cock leak pre cum all over his stomach and he practically begged for him to move.

“Frankie God I... Fuck...” He groaned, arching his back and moaning loudly when Frank began to slowly pull out of him almost all the way before pushing back in. His hands clutched tighter to Frank and he felt his muscles clench tight, his abdomen rolling with pleasure and he squeezed his eyes shut as he gasped. “Nnghh... Slow.”

“Yeah... Yes... Yeah...” Frank panted, nodding his agreement, knowing if they didn’t keep things slowed down then they were both going to cum within seconds. Frank had had sex bare before, but it couldn’t compare to this. Gerard was hot and tight and he _loved_ him. 

Gerard was beyond himself as Frank began to ever so gently rock inside him, thrusting deep but slow as they held onto each other. It felt like there wasn’t a single gap between them, Gerard’s arms were wrapped around Frank and Frank’s hands were cradling the back of his head, holding him up so he could kiss him weakly between soft sighs and heavy breathing. 

Gerard sighed and moved to tuck his face into Frank’s neck once their kissing had just become breathing into one another’s mouths. He inhaled the lingering scent of his lover’s cologne and rocked his hips up slightly, whimpering as pleasure worked through him. He could feel every twitch and throb of Frank’s cock inside him and he was able to tell just how close the younger man was as they worked together to change the angle of penetration until Frank started to rub against Gerard’s prostate.

Due to the gentle, deep way Frank was moving inside Gerard once his shaft touched against that special spot he remained against it, just rubbing and creating friction as he leaked pre cum and tangled his hands into Gerard’s hair. Both men were beginning to find their voices again, moaning breathlessly as they clung to one another and tried to hold back their orgasms for as long as possible.

Gerard groaned and tipped his head back just enough so that his open mouth was level with Frank’s, both men had their eyes squeezed shut but they could imagine perfectly how the other looked, panting into one another’s mouths and glistening with sweat. Gerard could feel his orgasm rising inside him, making his balls tighten and his cock grow harder than ever as Frank rubbed against his prostate. He whimpered and groaned, trying to find the words to warn Frank how close he was but he just couldn’t make his lips form words. 

Frank moaned huskily and pressed a soft, weak kiss to Gerard’s lips before he just went back to trying to breathe. He could feel how close Gerard was through the increasing clenching of his muscles and he began to move just a tiny bit faster, moving one hand out of Gerard’s hair to wrap around his erection instead, gripping the base tight before he began to pump his hand up and down his shaft.

“O – Oooh!” Gerard clamped his legs around Frank’s hips and arched his back high, crying out as his orgasm suddenly hit him hard and came hard across his stomach, his cock jerking in Frank’s hand as he spilt rope after rope of cum onto his skin. 

The sensation of Gerard’s muscles pulsating around Frank’s length was enough to send the younger man into his own climax, moaning and gasping as he came inside Gerard. For a moment he could only press deep inside him and hold still, moaning huskily as he spilt his release and shivered through the afterglow. His orgasm seemed to last an age, and when he finally pulled out of Gerard both men felt utterly boneless.

Gerard groaned and grimaced slightly when he felt Frank’s cum dripping out of him. He wriggled slightly and slowly opened his eyes to look at Frank, smiling slowly at him and sighing. 

“Frankie...” He purred, his voice husky and broken and he smiled when Frank leant forward to kiss him lightly. “I love you...”

“I love you too Gee.” Frank sighed, stroking his hand down to gently brush against the scar left from the gun wound. Gerard sighed but smiled, gazing at Frank sleepily and sharing kiss after kiss with him before the two men snuggled down together, wrapped up in the duvet where they soon fell asleep.

xXx

“I’m thinking of maybe setting up a workshop too, so I can make my own guitars ya know?” Frank smiled as he walked up the stairs to the apartment with Gerard, their hands linked. “I mean, I don’t mind importing everything but I think it might be nice to make original ones too, if I can.” He grinned, discussing the guitar shop with Gerard. 

The couple had been to the shop together that morning so Gerard could finally see it and the artist was still beaming with pride. He was so happy Frank had managed to set it up all on his own and it looked like it was going to become quite popular already.

“I think that’s a good idea.” Gerard nodded, grinning as he glanced at his lover as they walked up the stairs to the apartment. “Have you ever tried making a guitar before?”

“Once, with my dad.” Frank smiled, walking up the stairs slowly. “I was only like, fifteen or something. But it worked. But that was only an acoustic, I’ve never tried to make an electric one before. I’m sure I can find out how though.” He beamed, certain he’d be able to do it. He was pretty good with hands on stuff and he loved making things. “Maybe you could do the paint jobs for me.” He winked at Gerard, chuckling with him as they rounded the corner towards the apartment and stopped dead in their tracks.

Sitting outside their apartment was a man. He was hunched over his knees, resting his chin against them and he was wearing all black clothes including a hoody with the hood pulled up, but both Gerard and Frank could see the blonde hair falling forward to hide his face and it didn’t take them a moment to realise who it was.

“Oh my... Bert!?” Gerard gasped, letting go of Frank’s hand and charging forward as the man looked up. “Bert! What the hell are you doing here!?” Gerard gasped, not sure if he wanted to hug Bert or hit him as the younger man rose to his feet. He was smiling timidly at Gerard and that was enough for the artist to decide to just hug him. He threw his arms around him and held him close, Bert laughing quietly into his ear.

“Hey...” He mumbled, smiling and letting his hood drop down when Gerard released him. “Sorry to just show up out of the blue again, I thought it might be nice to just see you guys.” He shrugged, Frank stepping towards him with a frown.

“It’s about time. We haven’t heard from you for four months Bert, where have you been?” He demanded, Gerard looking anxiously between them both as he turned to unlock the apartment door. 

“Why don’t we talk inside?” He suggested, smiling hopefully. Bert nodded and looked apologetically at Frank, waiting until they had walked into the apartment and Gerard had got them all coffee before he began to explain.

“Look, I’m sorry I just disappeared on you guys –”

“Sorry!? You’re sorry!? You were fine! You looked back at us – Gerard had been _shot_ and you just ran off! We needed you then Bert, and you just ran for it, after all we’d done for you!”

“I know! I know I’m sorry.” Bert whimpered, gripping his coffee cup tighter and huddling further inside his hoody. “I really am sorry guys. I wanted to come back but I was just so scared. I know Jeph got hit by that bus but... I dunno, it was like all I could think of was what if he got up again? He’d be even angrier and I just couldn’t handle that.” He whimpered, tears in his eyes. “I know it was stupid, I could tell he was probably dead but just... I don’t know how to explain it. When you’re that afraid of someone... When just the sight of them makes you feel like you can’t breathe I... I just couldn’t stand there. I didn’t even think, I just ran. I know it was stupid. I’m so sorry...”

“Look, it doesn’t even matter.” Gerard sighed, squeezing Frank’s knee to stop him from talking when he leant forward and opened his mouth, clearly about to go into another rant. Gerard could understand why Frank was angry but he personally just wasn’t. He could understand why Bert was afraid and either way they had all healed, he didn’t want to hold a grudge for this. 

“But Gee –”

“Just stop.” Gerard sighed, though he smiled warmly at Frank, taking his hand instead and squeezing gently as he kissed his cheek. “Honestly it doesn’t matter. If I was as afraid as you Bert I probably would have ran too. You couldn’t have known for sure Jeph was dead so I get it. It’s _fine_.” 

“Yeah okay, that’s fine.” Frank scoffed, still frowning though as he looked at Bert. “You could have come back sooner though. Why did you wait four months to come back and see us? Weren’t you worried about Gerard at all? Didn’t you think we might be worried about you?” He demanded, not really angry just hurt that Bert had taken so long to come here. He hated to admit it but he had been worried about him, wondering where he had gone and if he was okay. Now that he was seeing him he was relieved, but with the relief came a sense of irritation that Bert clearly hadn’t been as worried about them as they had of him.

“Of course I was worried about you.” Bert sighed, forcing himself to meet Frank’s gaze though he just wanted to curl up and hide. “I was really worried. I thought I might never see either of you again, I didn’t know if Gerard was gonna be okay or anything. I really wanted to come back but I was worried if I did then it’d get the police involved.” He sighed, looking imploringly at Frank. “There were so many people on the street and I knew because Gee had been shot and Jeph was hit by the bus then the police would get involved. An eyewitness was bound to have seen me and I didn’t know what story you might have told the cops... I was just scared if I came back before the whole thing had died down then the police would somehow get involved again and either me, or all of us would have been arrested. I just… I was scared you might have told them I was bad news or something.”

“We wouldn’t do that.” Frank scoffed, though he blushed slightly, unable to deny that it was a fair enough of reason. He hadn’t thought that Bert would think so deeply into things. “But why come back now? Do you need something?” He asked, Gerard shoving him gently and scowling at him but Bert only smiled weakly and shook his head.

“Actually I guessed things would have calmed down enough for me to come visit you now. And... for a change... I don’t need anything.” He smiled, looking at Gerard with sparkling eyes. “I wanted to tell you, whilst I’ve been away I focussed on getting back on my feet. I decided I was sick of relying on people, especially you guys. I didn’t wanna come back until I was coping again and... Well, I’ve been totally clean the last four months. I got into a housing scheme and now I have my own place, and I work at supermarket too. Just as a cleaner so it’s… ya’ know... unsociable hours and not great but, it’s a job anyway and it’s getting me by until I can find something better.” He shrugged, smiling shyly and Gerard couldn’t help but beam at him.

“Really? Bert that’s so great!” He grinned, getting up to pull Bert into another tight hug and he realised that the blonde man really was better. He wasn’t as skinny as he had been, and his hair was now clean and soft. He looked healthy and Gerard couldn’t be happier for him. Even Frank relented and smiled. 

“That is great Bert.” He agreed, getting to his feet too and sighing as he lay a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad things are better for you...” He said gently, hugging him too once Gerard had released him and Bert sighed, smiling as he hugged Frank close for a moment.

“Thanks... And I really am sorry about everything.” He whispered, Frank shaking his head and shrugging.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for snapping I just... I have a temper.” He chuckled, Gerard smirking and nodding his agreement as he kissed Frank’s cheek gratefully. 

“You can say that again.” He teased, laughing when Frank thwacked him.

Now that the anger had disappeared the three men sat down together and just caught up on all they had missed. Bert went into detail on how he had managed to turn his life around and Frank and Gerard told him all about what they had done in the past four months. All about Gerard’s healing process, living with Elena and Frank quitting his job to open the guitar shop. It soon became clear to all of them that things were looking bright for each of them and they soon couldn’t keep their smiles off their faces.

“So Bert, who will you be spending Christmas with?” Gerard asked brightly, causing the blonde to blush and bite his lip.

“Oh err; I’ll just be by myself actually.” He shrugged, smiling when both Frank and Gerard looked horrified and he chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s not a big deal. I’ve only ever spent Christmas with Jeph really and I’m glad to be rid of him. I’ll just relax, get a takeout or something.”

“You can’t spend Christmas alone.” Gerard mewled, his heart breaking at the thought of Bert sat alone in some scummy apartment on Christmas day, nothing but takeout food for company. “Why don’t you spend Christmas with us? We’re going to my grandma’s but she really won’t mind an extra person.”

“Elena’s?” Bert smiled, remembering Gerard’s grandma from when they had dated. He had only met her a couple of times but he remembered her well. “I’m not sure she’d want to see me...”

“She would!” Gerard insisted, knowing that Elena remembered Bert too. She knew about Gerard having taken care of him for the past few months, and she also knew he had ran off but now that he was back all was forgiven and Gerard was sure she wouldn’t want Bert alone either. “Seriously, we’d hate to think of you all alone, right Frank?” 

“Sure.” Frank nodded, smiling softly at Bert. He had been looking forward to spending Christmas with just Gerard but he didn’t mind inviting Bert to Elena’s. As long as he still got Christmas morning with Gerard then he was happy. “You can’t spend Christmas alone Bert, at least come and have dinner with us.”

Gerard beamed at Frank and squeezed his hand, grateful he was encouraging Bert to join them too and he softly pecked Frank’s cheek to show his thanks as Bert considered the offer. He wasn’t sure he should agree but on the end he couldn’t resist such a kind offer and he sighed, smiling as he nodded.

“Alright... As long as it’s okay with Elena then I’ll come.”

xXx

Christmas day rolled round quickly after that. The final weeks were spent with Frank and Gerard hastily finishing their Christmas shopping together and decorating the apartment. They bought a tree and spent an afternoon together listening to Christmas songs and decorating it. They were both in high spirits and Gerard was beginning to feel like life couldn’t get any more perfect. It was hard to think that barely a year ago he had been a hopeless fan of Frank’s, watching his videos whenever he could and masturbating over them whilst assuming he would never meet a man he could ever love.

He had been right about one thing. He couldn’t love anyone but Frank. But he had been wrong to think Frank would never look twice at him. Now a day’s Gerard often forgot that he and Frank had ever began their relationship by meeting at the porn convention, especially now that Frank worked in the guitar shop. Gerard sometimes forgot the younger man had been a porn star at all. He usually remembered after sex once Frank had given him another mind blowing orgasm. Gerard had never imagined he’d be able to bottom, let alone get such a fulfilling sex life out of it and things were just simply magical.

When Christmas morning came round he and Frank spent a while in bed just entwining themselves around each other and making love until they simply couldn’t anymore. It was better than any material gift but Frank still jumped excitedly out of bed once they’d rested a little more and started squealing about presents. Gerard chuckled and shook his head fondly, forcing his aching body to move so he could wrap his bath robe around himself and follow Frank into the living room where they had put their presents under the tree.

“I wanna pick one first!” Frank announced as he walked back into the living room, a tray in his hands laden with biscuits and coffee. Gerard smirked and shrugged, sitting down on the floor besides the tree and smiling when Frank sat down next to him.

“Go ahead.” He chuckled, picking up a biscuit as Frank crawled close to the tree and began sorting through the presents for him. He picked up a few and shook them, his eyes alight with excitement as he slowly picked one. When he saw one buried beneath the rest, small and square, his heart lurched and he squeaked quietly, seizing it. 

“This one!” He announced, holding it in his palm and Gerard smirked, nodding as his cheeks went a little pink and his heart started to race but he tried to look casual. He had considered buying Frank a ring and maybe asking him to marry him, but in the end he had decided it was too soon. Although he knew he wanted nothing more than to marry Frank he knew they shouldn’t rush things and there would be plenty of time for that sort of proposal later. Besides, this was already making Gerard nervous enough.

“Go ahead and open it.” He smiled as Frank caressed the shiny wrapping paper with his fingertips. The younger man was starting to look a little nervous himself and Gerard knew he was probably expecting a ring. Gerard wondered fleetingly if he should have bought one after all, but then Frank was tearing off the wrapping paper and he didn’t have time to think about it.

When Frank revealed a small black ring box his stomach lurched and his heart began to start racing even faster still. He glanced at Gerard with parted lips, wondering if it really was... He blushed, not wanting to jump to conclusions. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if it was a ring, he loved Gerard and he did want to be with him forever but God, was he ready for this? Frank swallowed thickly and ran his tongue along his lower lip, his hands trembling slightly as he slowly opened the lid of the ring box. When his eyes found the bronze key resting inside he felt his heart miss a beat and he looked at Gerard in surprise and confusion.

“A key?”

“Yeah I... I thought maybe it was about time you moved in.” Gerard chuckled nervously. The whole thing had seemed like a better idea in his head, but the wide grin that split Frank’s cheeks helped the older man to relax and he laughed quietly. “That’s the key to the apartment, if you want it.”

“If I want it!? Oh my God Gerard of course I want it! Oh God, thank you this is the best present ever!” Frank gasped, flinging his arms around Gerard’s neck and holding him tight, smothering him in kisses and laughing softly with him. He felt incredible, his heart fluttering and his head spinning. This was better than a proposal, he decided. This he was definitely ready for and the thought of being able to wake up next to Gerard every morning just sent him into another flurry of excitement and Gerard could only laugh as Frank pawed all over him.

“Mm... Mm... I love you. I love you so much.” Frank groaned in between heated kisses to Gerard’s lips, the older man feeling a little taken aback but incredibly happy.

“I love you too Frankie.” He smiled, eagerly kissing him back. 

And so it came to be that within a week Frank had moved in and the future was looking bright for the two men. They were incredibly happy with each other, although their ears rang with Elena’s frustrated lecture for weeks after they arrived two hours late for dinner due to their inability to stop making love in front of the Christmas tree.


End file.
